First let me address why I didn't respond on this topic the last time: As I said I got busy for a while, and there were many posts from different people to reply to, I had them all bookmarked and I even started drafting a reply, but then I procrastinated on finishing it and the more I waited the more difficult the task felt. The discussion had moved on by then, so I decided to let it go.
I'm posting my unfinished draft here, even though it's only addresses a couple of the previous questions I got.
Snake, I do appreciate the response, thank you. You have to understand that from my point of view it looked like my question went unanswered and you just let it go. I didn't bother bringing it up again until this topic came up again after a couple months and I reiterated my question.
I never said that our sexual attraction preferences are not influenced by our social environment.
I am pretty sure they are. I've said
in another thread that I believe our environment plays a
far more influential role in shaping who we are and who we become than our DNA does. I think this also extends to sexuality; identical twins who have identical DNA don't always have the same sexual orientation (see Jason Collins).
This effect of the environment begins in the womb, and the vast majority of human brain change and development happens in early childhood.
I wasn't aware of your posts in that topic and didn't realize your view was more nuanced than the impression I got from your posts in here. I inferred that you were suggesting that racial preference came down to some part of the fetal development process, either DNA or the effects of the womb environment. I think we are in agreement more than I initially thought when it comes to the effects of the social environment and how it influences preferences.
I really don't appreciate this "detective work" of digging up my months old posts and reposting them.
I just want to address the whole "innate" thing you keep bringing up. First of all I never used that word and as I said above I believe more of human personality is acquired than is innate. So we might actually be on the same page here, except that I don't see how this is an argument against having racial preferences when it comes to sexual attraction.
I like what I like today due to a countless chain of events and the environment (family, society, media exposure, etc.) that shaped me throughout my life. The effects of these influences have wired my brain a certain way, so even though they might not be genetic in origin, effectively and practically they are just as "innate". Do you suggest I start watching porn with guys I don't find attractive in hopes to "undo" some of the environmental and social influence that shaped my brain for 34+ years?
It's not really detective work so much as having a good memory. Like I stated earlier, I felt my question ~2 months ago went unanswered and I saw an opportunity to ask it again. You never said the word innate, I agree, but I got the impression the first time we had this talk that you were suggesting there's some kind of "Sorry, Asian guy, I wasn't born with the Asian attraction gene" thing at work here. Reading your reply right now I see that wasn't what you were necessarily suggesting.
Is it more likely that I would be attracted to non-white ethnicities had I grown up in a more diverse society? I would say yes, most likely. But so what? Am I supposed to feel guilty about which country I was born in, which schools my parents sent me to, and what media I was exposed to while growing up?
I'm not sure if this is rhetorical but I'd say yes to the first question and no to the others. gerg basically said what I was thinking. It's not about making people feel guilty, but my problem was that I felt like I was asking questions and getting no answers regarding nature vs. nurture and racial preference. And then the conversation just cut off. So it was frustrating.
I think it's a difficult issue. (And I mean that in a more general sense, not just related to sexual attraction.) I don't think that people should feel guilty about their origins, but I do think it's important that they acknowledge what they are, what the repercussions of their origins are, and then react to them appropriately.
...it was to explain that highlighting this as an issue isn't about "talking down" other people's preferences, but about expounding and discussing something that is a real problem.
Exactly. It's not just coincidence that people post pictures of the people they do. It's a sensitive topic, and when the subject gets broached and people react defensively, shit hits the fan. But it gets tiring seeing the same type of pictures that get posted when you're aware of how racial hierarchy plays into the reality you're witnessing.
I'm honestly not interested in doing these mega-posts, spending a long time parsing quotes and worrying about every word I say being misunderstood and used in a flame war against me. I just want a safe, friendly place to make casual, random posts about whatever is going through my life or my mind at the time (and yes, that might include posting pics of guys I find hot), but apparently some of you are more interested in heated discussions and spending hours carefully composing your posts.
It's not about wanting to parse posts carefully and start flame wars. I saw a discussion that wasn't being prompted and I decided to post about it. This could have been resolved months ago had I seen this kind of reply earlier. Again, from my point of view it just seemed like you dropped out of the conversation.
I am not interested in the latter, particularly because these arguments go nowhere. Nobody has ever changed their mind about something they feel strongly about on a message board. I have enough stress in my life as it is and I don't want this place to add to it.
So I'm out of here.
GAF has definitely enhanced my knowledge about a number of subjects and I have changed my mind because of discussions I've seen here. So I disagree.
To be honest, I'm ambivalent about whether you leave or not; I don't know you well enough. But I hope when you see my post you'll realize there's no hard feelings and I think there's been a number of misunderstandings from both sides. Thanks for your response.
