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[umop_3pisdn]

I think he knows this: I told him that I wasn't expecting this. I told him I expected the usual hook up, not to fall for someone who's not even local. I feel awful. It's just that I can allow myself to let go and allow these feelings to flow. The dude leaves on Friday, not just Chicago, but another country. Im confident that he's not just saying this for some ulterior motive: he's loaded, is a VP of company, is incredibly hot, can get any guy, i was willing to give up it up on the first night and he hasnt yet forced me to do it. All he seems to want is my heart....but how do I give it to someone who will leave me in a few days?
Sorry for all the rambling guys. I'm just incredibly confused.

He seems like a nice and caring person, assuming that's true I don't think that there's much to be afraid of. I think it's more for the sake of people that are selfish, cruel, or unworthy that we should be apprehensive.

I almost wanna take a day from him to decompress. If that makes sense. I felt terrible when I left him.

Don't let fear or stress dictate your responses, a feature of self-sabotage (that I'm familiar with) is an 'out' will seem preferable to any of the pressure put on the situation. At least talk to him first, so he knows where you stand. He took a bit of a risk by saying that he loved you so early, that move is so risky (and any adult saying so knows it), that it's never a strategic move but generally one made out of a kind of sincere vulnerability that imo is all too rare.

 

[Kevyt]

I almost wanna take a day from him to decompress. If that makes sense. I felt terrible when I left him.

Maybe you do need some think about all of this and to let it sink in. That is okay. As Parn said, don't let your guy assume. Talk to him and tell him how you felt. Take some time to meditate too, if need be.

 

[Grakl]

I think he knows this: I told him that I wasn't expecting this. I told him I expected the usual hook up, not to fall for someone who's not even local. I feel awful. It's just that I can allow myself to let go and allow these feelings to flow. The dude leaves on Friday, not just Chicago, but another country. Im confident that he's not just saying this for some ulterior motive: he's loaded, is a VP of company, is incredibly hot, can get any guy, i was willing to give up it up on the first night and he hasnt yet forced me to do it. All he seems to want is my heart....but how do I give it to someone who will leave me in a few days?
Sorry for all the rambling guys. I'm just incredibly confused.

Dammit, just pursue the LDR. It's possible. Just like the others said, talk about it with your guy. It seems like he loves you, and you love him back. Distances can be closed. Once in a lifetime opportunity, dude.

You're under a lot of pressure, but you should realize that is normal because you really care about this guy. Leaving is the easiest thing to do, but IMO it's the wrong thing to do. You two are too much into each other.

 

[Valerie Cherish]

crystal castles

zomg why didnt you tell me about them/him/her sooner lgbtgaf

Sorry

I went to a Yelle show this fall and wore my Crystal Castles shirt. The girl in front of me saw it and we struck up a conversation. I casually dropped that they disbanded that week and she had no idea. Felt kinda bad :\

(Thanks for spoiler tagging The Comeback I need to finish!)

 

[ab.aeterno]

Man, fuck. Seeing that thread about the trans teen who killed themselves was a sucker punch enough to wake me up from my earlyish attempt at sleeping. It's just so fucking depressing. Such a frustrating, needless waste of life because society fucking blows. And people wonder why I'm such a jaded, cynical motherfucker.

Ugh. It hits me hard because reading her suicide note, it reminded me so much of feelings I dealt with, and things I had to go through, in my own life around that age. I made it to adulthood only by the unknowing support of friends. It breaks my heart she had no such people to help her through.

I don't really drink whiskey straight, but this shot's to your memory, Leelah. Rest your soul.

I'd rather play it on the PC. (Plus I don't own a Bone or the PS4.)
I'm planning on getting a new one sooner rather than later since mine can't even handle Skyrim on medium setting anymore, overheats after half an hour in the game and shuts down.

You'll never go back to most of the vanilla companions after you had him in your party. Such a well-made character. Plus he is blue. A blue Khajiit. :3

Do you have Khajiit Speak yet? That's also something every Khajiit playthrough needs. That way you feel less like a furry Breton and more like a real Khajiit since it changes every little bit of vanilla player dialogue.

Yeah, you should definitely get a new PC when you can afford it, then. That's certainly not normal! Would always be worth it to check out the Build a PC thread here, you can put together a hell of a rig for a modest budget these days.

And seeing as I want to play through surrounded by cool companions this time (vanilla Skyrim I did alone, since all the vanilla ones were annoying and boring), can't say no to a blue Khajiit, lol.

I do use Khajiit Speak though. Actually had to combine a bunch of them in TESEdit because I couldn't afford the space in my load order for all the separate ESPs.

If you don't mind, would be very much appreciated. ;3

Check your PMs soon, I replied.

Okay so just to update from my earlier post: we did end up meeting up, I spent the morning with him and after work in his hotel.

Guys, he said the "L" word to me. This is going way too fast for me.

If it's too fast, it's too fast. Take a breath, calm down, and talk to him. But fuck man, it can be rare to feel something genuine for someone else. Don't let it go too easily. Trust me, that way regret lies.

 

[Hours Left]

Damn, it's not a permaban right?

Nope, just two weeks according to his twitter account.

 

[Henchmen21]

Go away for a bit and Ratsky gets banned.

When someone talked about "Crystal Castles" in public a few months back, I initially thought they were talking about an old-school video game I loved..

You and me both. That's what we get for being old.

 

[jwk94]

Does it make me a bad person if I think the phrase "im a guy, like 100%, but I was born in a girl's body" sounds ridiculous? I feel bad =/

 

[Aarglefarg]

Does it make me a bad person if I think the phrase "im a guy, like 100%, but I was born in a girl's body" sounds ridiculous? I feel bad =/

Feel bad if you're not working to change away from this learned thinking.

 

[RM8]

Does it make me a bad person if I think the phrase "im a guy, like 100%, but I was born in a girl's body" sounds ridiculous? I feel bad =/

It's pretty much a strong lack of empathy. You can't relate, so you think it's inconceivable.

 

[jwk94]

Feel bad if you're not working to change away from this learned thinking.

But how would I change it?

It's pretty much a strong lack of empathy. You can't relate, so you think it's inconceivable.

Is it? The reason I ask is because I was watching Degrassi and (season 10 spoilers)

Spoiler

Adam's focus episode came up. Basically Adam was born as Gracie but around age 4 realized she was a he in a girl's body. So it dealt with the crap he has to go through.

I felt really sorry for him throughout the episode. The things that were done were inexcusable, but that specific phrase just I guess doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Blood Diamonds]

Does it make me a bad person if I think the phrase "im a guy, like 100%, but I was born in a girl's body" sounds ridiculous? I feel bad =/

Yeah, it does.

 

[Grakl]

About to get on a plane back to Boston.

So scared

 

[DOWN]

Does it make me a bad person if I think the phrase "im a guy, like 100%, but I was born in a girl's body" sounds ridiculous? I feel bad =/

What gender do you identify as?

About to get on a plane back to Boston.

So scared

Tell us about it when you're there

 

[red13th]

why did I click that link on the suicide of the Ohioan transgendered girl. that is so depressing.

 

[Kater]

Man, fuck. Seeing that thread about the trans teen who killed themselves was a sucker punch enough to wake me up from my earlyish attempt at sleeping. It's just so fucking depressing. Such a frustrating, needless waste of life because society fucking blows. And people wonder why I'm such a jaded, cynical motherfucker.

Ugh. It hits me hard because reading her suicide note, it reminded me so much of feelings I dealt with, and things I had to go through, in my own life around that age. I made it to adulthood only by the unknowing support of friends. It breaks my heart she had no such people to help her through.

I don't really drink whiskey straight, but this shot's to your memory, Leelah. Rest your soul.

Just read the letter. Poor girl. But this shouldn't be the way to spread such a message.

Poured one out for her as well. Drinking during the day is not a good idea, but I'll make an exception.

Yeah, you should definitely get a new PC when you can afford it, then. That's certainly not normal! Would always be worth it to check out the Build a PC thread here, you can put together a hell of a rig for a modest budget these days.

And seeing as I want to play through surrounded by cool companions this time (vanilla Skyrim I did alone, since all the vanilla ones were annoying and boring), can't say no to a blue Khajiit, lol.

I do use Khajiit Speak though. Actually had to combine a bunch of them in TESEdit because I couldn't afford the space in my load order for all the separate ESPs.

Yeah, I'll visit the electronics store here in my city and ask them to put one together for me, never built one myself so I'm too worried that I screw it up somehow.
I'll check the thread out if only to see what the kind of hardware is that I need to make a decent all-around PC.

Yiss, you won't regret it!

Too many mods, I know how that turns out. My NMM for FNV has like 115 plugins, heh. It's borderline murder for my toaster, but he pulls through on around 25 - 30 fps on high settings.

Check your PMs soon, I replied.

Thank you so much. :3

About to get on a plane back to Boston.

So scared

Have a safe trip, Grakl.

 

[kitchenmotors]

You and me both. That's what we get for being old.

I hate comments like this, ibr.

Has nothing to do with getting old, I'm 33 and a HUGE Crystal Castles fan. And the name is taken from a She-Ra cartoon from the 80s, which is almost as old as the video game.

 

[Kevyt]

Nope, just two weeks according to his twitter account.

That's good, he'll be back next year then, lol.

 

[terrisus]

About to get on a plane back to Boston.

So scared

Planes are awesome.
Boston is awesome.

Which part are you scared about?

You and me both. That's what we get for being old.

I hate comments like this, ibr.

Has nothing to do with getting old, I'm 33 and a HUGE Crystal Castles fan. And the name is taken from a She-Ra cartoon from the 80s, which is almost as old as the video game.

Spoilers:

Spoiler

33 is old >.>

Spoiler

I'm old at 32 :þ

 

[Dany]

One day left of 2014.

This year certainly flew by.

GUIS, whats your most memorable moment of this year?

 

[Kater]

Most memorable moment, hm. Had a few.

Probably coming out to my grandma over the telephone drunk as what and her being really cool with it. =)

 

[kitchenmotors]

Spoilers:

Spoiler

33 is old >.>

Spoiler

I'm old at 32 :þ

Maybe YOU feel old at 32 but despite my recent health issues, I'm feeling great. At 33, I'm feeling better than I have in years and still got it going on like I did in my 20's.

I know being negative in every thread you perch in is your thing, but I'm not about that. As the QUEEN of R&B once said, age ain't nothing but a number.

 

[terrisus]

Maybe YOU feel old at 32 but despite my recent health issues, I'm feeling great. At 33, I'm feeling better than I have in years and still got it going on like I did in my 20's.

I know being negative in every thread you perch in is your thing, but I'm not about that. As the QUEEN of R&B once said, age ain't nothing but a number.

I'm glad you've come through your health issues with a more positive outlook on life than me.

I tried keeping up the positive thing through the cancer and after the cancer, but since the stroke, yeah, I'm feeling pretty down about life >.>

And, I'm definitely not negative in every thread - contrary to popular GAF opinion :þ


P.S. Interesting person to quote. Since, it's a perfect example of how, regardless of what one thinks or feels, things can end at any moment. I don't mean any disrespect by saying that - but it is certainly true.

 

[kitchenmotors]

I'm glad you've come through your health issues with a more positive outlook on life than me.

I tried keeping up the positive thing through the cancer and after the cancer, but since the stroke, yeah, I'm feeling pretty down about life >.>

And, I'm definitely not negative in every thread - contrary to popular GAF opinion :þ


P.S. Interesting person to quote. Since, it's a perfect example of how, regardless of what one thinks or feels, things can end at any moment. I don't mean any disrespect by saying that - but it is certainly true.

You just need to have a positive outlook, no matter how bad things get. Set backs are going to happen in life, but I feel like they're just temporary road blocks.

And, yes, things can end at any moment. That is very much true, but since getting diagnosed I've tired to live in the moment and not take things for granted. I'm a different person than I was before the cancer, and I feel it has changed me for the better. Just need to stay positive.

 

[terrisus]

You just need to have a positive outlook, no matter how bad things get.

If only it were that easy.
Unfortunately, there's not really a switch that I can throw to change that over or control it.

 

[kitchenmotors]

If only it were that easy.
Unfortunately, there's not really a switch that I can throw to change that over or control it.

Well, I never said it was easy.

It's a process. Don't get me wrong though, I have my bad days too. Yesterday, for example, I was in a completely shit mood and sulking the entire day.

 

[terrisus]

The thing is, I realize in many aspects I don't have much to complain about in comparison to other people - both in this thread and in general. There are many aspects of my life which are fine, or which I've had taken care of, or not had to worry about, or are better than they should be, or whatnot like that.

I'm on antidepressants and seeing a counselor since my stroke, so I'm trying to work on things or do things to address stuff. Certainly there's plenty more that I could/should be doing, but, I mean, it's not like I just sit here all day complaining or something.

Spoiler

In reality, most of my day is spent sitting around being far more depressed than I let on. Being here is a way of getting away from that for me. So, if you think I'm being depressed on here, consider that's actually less than what I am otherwise >.>

 

[Kevyt]

One day left of 2014.

This year certainly flew by.

GUIS, whats your most memorable moment of this year?

Ending the semester with a 4.0

 

[TheAbsolution]

About to get on a plane back to Boston.

So scared

Have a safe trip back Grakl.

 

[Vazduh]

Guys and girls, I wish you all the best in 2015.

:*

I think he knows this: I told him that I wasn't expecting this. I told him I expected the usual hook up, not to fall for someone who's not even local. I feel awful. It's just that I can allow myself to let go and allow these feelings to flow. The dude leaves on Friday, not just Chicago, but another country. Im confident that he's not just saying this for some ulterior motive: he's loaded, is a VP of company, is incredibly hot, can get any guy, i was willing to give up it up on the first night and he hasnt yet forced me to do it. All he seems to want is my heart....but how do I give it to someone who will leave me in a few days?
Sorry for all the rambling guys. I'm just incredibly confused.

If you're into him as much as he is into you, just go for it, otherwise you'll regret it.

Keep in mind that love hurts sometimes, but so does loneliness, tbh.

As always, I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Captain Europe]

Ain't nothing old about 32/33, this is 38!

Nope, just two weeks according to his twitter account.

Oh good!

One day left of 2014.

This year certainly flew by.

GUIS, whats your most memorable moment of this year?

Getting into uni, yours?

 

[TheAbsolution]

One day left of 2014.

This year certainly flew by.

GUIS, whats your most memorable moment of this year?

Surviving my third semester of college and making new friends.
What about you?

 

[Dany]

Getting accepted to my grad program, Pride in chicago, visiting San Fran, toronto and NYC. The last four months have been a riot and I loved every moment of it.

Hard to choose just one.

 

[daripad]

I don't really have any especific moments for this year but there are three things that I liked about this year: getting drunk for the first time, reuniting with my childhood friends and coming out to my close friends.

This year wasn't good but I have to recognize that I had a lot of fun.

 

[TheAbsolution]

I don't really have any especific moments for this year but there are three things that I liked about this year: getting drunk for the first time, reuniting with my childhood friends and coming out to my close friends.

This year wasn't good but I have to recognize that I had a lot of fun.

Oh yeah. I forgot one moment.
Getting to know you, Daripad, and the other members of GayGAF. Thanks for being so nice to me. You guys are the best.

 

[VegiHam]

Oh yeah. I forgot one moment.
Getting to know you, Daripad, and the other members of GayGAF. Thanks for being so nice to me. You guys are the best.

No YOU'RE the best Mr Lego Raccoon.

This year's been really, really fantastic, actually. Probably the best of my life so far. Made huge progress in my personal goals and had some really great and memorable experiences. Bring on 2015!

 

[daripad]

Oh yeah. I forgot one moment.
Getting to know you, Daripad, and the other members of GayGAF. Thanks for being so nice to me. You guys are the best.

Owww thanks, you are awesome too

 

[Cosmic Bus]

One day left of 2014.

This year certainly flew by.

GUIS, whats your most memorable moment of this year?

Oh, certainly moving in together at the beginning of this past summer. Now I'm saving for rings.

 

[garyBig]

I had a really important and good year.

It was only painful in the way a butterfly's struggles are before entering into a new life.

Got rid of my phimosis and finally began to do smth about my teeth.
Came out to myself and then my dad.
Threw myself fiercely into online date-texting and found me someone who might (who knows?) even turn out to dominate the next year.
Feel very good about myself and life and definitely the future as well (I'm calling it: 2015 - best year eva).

2013 was the most irrelevant year in my life since I spent it literally doing nothing whatsoever.
2014 was the pivotal one that I will look back to and be grateful to myself about for all the self-improvement and self-realisation and enlightenment I had.

Now let's conquer the fucking world bitchez!


(Oh and thank you (Gay)Gaf for supporting me in my self-identification process more than you will ever know. Lurking around this thread always felt a bit like home and now I'm even contributing to it sometimes. I'm really happy right now)

Best is yet to come!

 

[ab.aeterno]

One day left of 2014.

This year certainly flew by.

GUIS, whats your most memorable moment of this year?

Man, no contest, it has to be meeting my friend offline for the first time. What a fucking day that was, good lord.

Of course, Absolution brings up a good runner-up:

Oh yeah. I forgot one moment.
Getting to know you, Daripad, and the other members of GayGAF. Thanks for being so nice to me. You guys are the best.

Introducing myself and becoming active in GayGAF, y'all are da best.

About to get on a plane back to Boston.

So scared

You're just fine, I'm sure! I know it's easier said than done with our fears, but try to take a few deep breaths, clear your mind, and focus on something else. Travel safe, draggy!

Just read the letter. Poor girl. But this shouldn't be the way to spread such a message.

Poured one out for her as well. Drinking during the day is not a good idea, but I'll make an exception.

Yeah, I hadn't planned on drinking to any real degree last night, but I ended up downing a few drinks in quick succession. I got too wound up. I know I'll have to avoid the thread too, because inevitably someone will trot out the usual "she was being selfish" bullshit, or some other complete misunderstanding of depression or the struggles of LGBTA* people, and I don't need the aggravation.

Yeah, I'll visit the electronics store here in my city and ask them to put one together for me, never built one myself so I'm too worried that I screw it up somehow.
I'll check the thread out if only to see what the kind of hardware is that I need to make a decent all-around PC.

It's really not so bad to put it together yourself, though I wouldn't blame you for wanting someone else to do it either, as it can take a fair amount of time to get it put together and setup.

Too many mods, I know how that turns out. My NMM for FNV has like 115 plugins, heh. It's borderline murder for my toaster, but he pulls through on around 25 - 30 fps on high settings.

I kind of don't want to admit how many mods sit in the library/pool of Mod Organizer for me, because it's frighteningly, disgustingly large. Only a subset of them are active; I just grab whatever looks interesting so I don't need to hunt it down later, particularly since the Nexus isn't always very welcoming to anything involving queer content and stuff will get taken down suddenly. I intend to go through all the mods I do have active and swap out some at stupidly high resolutions for smaller res ones, to get my Skyrim to play more smoothly. I think I'm constantly hitting my VRAM cap, which means I go down to single digits when turning around (but shoot back up to between 30-60 after that.)

Thank you so much. :3

Happy to help, man. If you (or anyone else in GayGAF!) ever need an av, hit me up in PM and I'll do what I can. Was a bit drunk when I did that one last night, ha.

 

[Kevyt]

Oh yeah. I forgot one moment.
Getting to know you, Daripad, HippieHobo, and the other members of GayGAF. Thanks for being so nice to me. You guys are the best.

Awww thank you :3

I feel the same. LettersGaf has been so supportive, each and everyone of you. This community is a safe heaven.

I had a really important and good year.

It was only painful in the way a butterfly's struggles are before entering into a new life.

Got rid of my phimosis and finally began to do smth about my teeth.
Came out to myself and then my dad.
Threw myself fiercely into online date-texting and found me someone who might (who knows?) even turn out to dominate the next year.
Feel very good about myself and life and definitely the future as well (I'm calling it: 2015 - best year eva).

2013 was the most irrelevant year in my life since I spent it literally doing nothing whatsoever.
2014 was the pivotal one that I will look back to and be grateful to myself about for all the self-improvement and self-realisation and enlightenment I had.

Now let's conquer the fucking world bitchez!


(Oh and thank you (Gay)Gaf for supporting me in my self-identification process more than you will ever know. Lurking around this thread always felt a bit like home and now I'm even contributing to it sometimes. I'm really happy right now)

Best is yet to come!

That's good, I'm ao happy for you!

Here's to 2015.

I wonder how many lurkers there are.

 

[kitchenmotors]

 

[Sai-kun]

Oh, certainly moving in together at the beginning of this past summer. Now I'm saving for rings.

Save up for more dogs imo!!!

 

[The_Endless]

Happy new year, guys!!

I'm looking forward to 2015 after a bumpy 2014!

 

[Kevyt]

I can't believe it's almost 2015, time goes by too fast.

 

[Rayis]

the best thing bout 2014 is the fact my mom didn't get any major health issues like she did last year and is doing pretty well for herself

Spoiler

though I still worry

, the worst is the death of my grandma

 

[Henchmen21]

I can't believe it's almost 2015, time goes by too fast.

And still no hovercars/boards, auto drying clothing or self tying shoes. BttF ptII lied to me :,(

 

[Kevyt]

And still no hovercars/boards, auto drying clothing or self tying shoes. BttF ptII lied to me :,(

Well, we have self driving cars...

 

[TheAbsolution]

Well, we have self driving cars...

And flying cars would be a total disaster.

 

[HylianTom]

Oh, certainly moving in together at the beginning of this past summer. Now I'm saving for rings.

I've never, ever been a big jewelry guy.. but ring shopping was surprisingly fun.

We ordered ours about a month ago. They'll arrive sometime in January and go into a lockbox until SCOTUS steps in. So probably June..

I can't believe it's almost 2015, time goes by too fast.

Just saying the year - "twenty fifteen" - blows my mind sometimes. We're living in the future! I'm still amazed/thankful that I (and, I'll be honest here, we humans) have made it this far.
Seems to go faster the older I get..