My first issue is the canon choice of having Udina as the councillor. All Mass Effect content so far has been very careful as to never specify any canon choices. Drew made sure the first two books never did this, and the comics never implied anything either. Drew said Retribution would be the same, but there we go. I knew about this canon choice before I read the novel, but seeing its implimentation was annoying.
At first there's not even a reason to specify who is who, it just blatantly calls Anderson "Admiral Anderson" and Udina "Councillor Udina". It does this for seemingly no reason, and could have been avoided by using more vague titles. Udina has no 'role', only Anderson. Then, despite it being a missed, vague opportunity, it then has Anderson specifically resign from his position. What the fuck? Why complicate shit for potential Mass Effect 3 canon clashing? The entire plot of Retribution could have played out without having Anderson 'resign', and without ever specifying his or Udina's position. Huge avoidable failure there, Drew.
My second issue is with Kahlee. She's a mary-sue. I didn't mind her in Revelation, she was okay in Ascension, but her poor writing and lack of any kind of flaw are exhausted in Retribution. She's just not interesting at all, practically flawless, and an extremely boring protagonist. "Kahlee Sanders is an extremely attractive female human with unique, rare natural blonde hair who is admired for her physical, mental, and personal details by all around her. She is one of the galaxy's greatest scientists, and always gets her way. Are you interested yet?" Also, her relationship Grayson wasn't even remotey convincing. At the end of Ascension Grayson had escaped, but Sanders still dispised him, or at least didn't trust him at all. I'm supposed to believe that after all the shit Grayson put them and Gillian through that a few weekly messages over a couple of years are supposed to make Kahlee give a damn? Come on.
Thirdy, and this is a problem I have with some of Drew's writing, is that he pays way too much attention at times to trivial and often hillariously stupid details. Specifically, at the start of the book, the student Nick hiding his erection from Kahlee. I couldn't believe I was reading such asinine rubbish that had no reason to be included at all. I dont know what Drew's purpose is with stuff like that.
My last issue is not so much with Drew, but my personal issue with children. I literally said "oh my fucking god" outloud when I hit chapter 25, as it started with fucking Nick, the fucking dumbass teenager, doing some dumb fucking shit, that would certainly end in his dumb fucking ass getting hurt. I hate. Hate. Children. I hate kids, I hate them being written into books, and I hate any amount of detail being put towards them unless they are an oblivious side character. Gillian in Ascension was fine, as she was more a gateway to the plot, a device in herself, than a character with much sway. Nick, on the other hand was not. Whenever I read situations like his I'm not thinking "Oh that silly boy I hope no harm comes to him oh no it did I hope he gets help!!!", I think "Fucking moron, I hope he dies quickly". I hate kids.