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[Media]

Damn. That is rough. But you aren't whining. When do you and the kids officially move to join him?

I have to have everything packed by the 21st of October. Movers will be here that day.

I am terrified I am not going to be able to get it done in time. I packed and carried five boxes yesterday and can barely move today.

 

[jb1234]

I have to have everything packed by the 21st of October. Movers will be here that day.

I am terrified I am not going to be able to get it done in time. I packed and carried five boxes yesterday and can barely move today.

You're a badass. <3

 

[Media]

You're a badass. <3

I don't feel like a badass love. I feel like a scared little girl lol

 

[jb1234]

I don't feel like a badass love. I feel like a scared little girl lol

Then you fit in with the rest of us just fine.

 

[Zeus The Dino]

I hate my life. Watching catfish the tv show made me realize it's hopeless for me. The dude on the show was using another guy's photo because he received more replies than using his own. Pretty much my life. Looking in the mirror at the gym made me realize no amount of working out or weightloss will help me. No one wants a dude like me. I lost in the genetic game of life. The only way I can be attractive is to die and become an entirely different person. I could spend decades of a lonely life trying to "improve" myself when people much younger than I with far more issues can find dates so easily due to how they look. I don't know why I am wasting my life trying to improve on a crap life when death is so much easier better and I don't have to feel and know I'm the fattest and ugliest person in the room.

Do more gym until you are swole

 

[neojubei]

Do more gym until you are swole

im waaaay to fat to be swole

I haven't seen photos of you or anything, but in my experience natural looks can largely be compensated for with cleanliness, a nice haircut, and clothes that suit you. Are you doing anything to improve the way you feel about yourself? Exercise can also be a huge confidence boost and confidence is a good 75% of how you come off to people.

doesnt work for me.

 

[redlegs87]

Still on the hunt for a Psychiatrist. Went on blue cross blue sheilds site and called some that showed up there as per my insurances instructions. Most aren't taking private insurance at this time. I have one but I have to mail in some forms and they have to evaluate my case to see if they'd accept me. The place I went to when I was on medicaid finally got the office manager on the phone but she was very rude. She scheduled me for a appointment without checking what insurance I had. I told her Only one of the docs there was showing up for my insurance and he doesn't work the days I am available...no worries just cancel 2 days before appointment or we charge you $85....hangs up. Call in today to make sure I was spelling his name right in the search again very rude to me. Finally call in to just cancel and had to ask for another receptionist as I couldn't speak with her anymore or I'd have just lost it on her. This is all very frustrating.

 

[Zelias]

Another job interview, another failure. Usually I'd brush it off but this was for a fucking call centre. I'm not even good enough to work at a call centre. Clearly there's something wrong with me, and I don't even know what. Supposed to have another interview for a job I really don't want right now (pub work), but I've bailed. It's not even worth me going when I don't believe I can do the job or have a chance at getting it.

I'm just tired. I mask my mediocrity with arrogance and detachment, but that's never going to get me anywhere in life - not professionally, socially, or romantically. Yet if I remove the mask, everyone will see me for what I am. I have no prospects, no future. I'm basically existing until I die. And when I do, I won't even leave any legacy beyond wasted potential and regret.

Sorry for ranting.

 

[JeTmAn81]

I just wanted to vent a little, please feel free to ignore this post.

My life right now:
Husbands kinda a dick sometimes, but I deal with it.
I have a serious autoimmune disease
I have PTSD due to tramua that came roaring back as an adult due to the stress of said autoimmune disease
I am moving cross country due to husbands job.
Husband already left, so I have to pack our entire house. With three kids. By myself.
I found out yesterday that our new insurance sucks. One of the medicines I need to live will now cost a copay of almost 2000 dollars a month.
And today, after having some serious hip pain for a month and getting an xray, found out that my joint, bone, and cartilage are all degenerating and I might need to get my hip replaced.
I'm 34. I have young kids.

Needless to say, my anxiety levels are through the fucking roof.

Sorry for whining. Love to you all.

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, only I'm the sometimes dickish husband. My wife has a bunch of health conditions that keep her from doing just about anything. She can't work or drive a car. She doesn't cook, maintain the house and can't be responsible for our daughter. I work from home full time because she doesn't get out of bed before noon and someone has to be there to watch our daughter. We can't afford to hire any help because all our money goes to medical bills and other expenses. We have no family in the area. I have to drive my wife to all her many appointments as well as attending many of them with her since she can't handle herself with doctors.

She has a bladder disease and this morning she rushed in to use the bathroom right after I'd put our daughter on the toilet. I made her wait because our daughter had just gotten on and normally my wife is so crazy about making sure our kid gets put on the potty that I didn't think it was right to kick her off. My wife rushes in two minutes later, sobbing and apparently peed in the shower. Then she called me a monster and rushed back to bed.

 

[Booker Dewitt]

It's a really shitty feeling to see not one, not two, but three employees who all together haven't spend even a third of the time I have with this company get promoted over me based purely on the fact that I don't have a car.

Edit: just feel really pathetic man. One of my managers bought me a new pair of shoes today because of how destroyed my old pair were. They needed to be replaced a year ago, but between booze and cigarettes at my old place, and the cost of moving into my new place making up for my decreased alcohol consumption, I've never been able to afford some.
Edit: just so I don't seem like a complete shit, I am very grateful for the new shoes.

 

[JEKKI]

Hi I need help finding something.

It's a story about a wedge who really wants to fit in, so the wedge always tries to fit in with other pac-man looking circles but it never quite fits,

so finally the wedge gets frustrated and tries moving on its own, only to keep on and keep on doing that, until it becomes more round and into a circle.

I've tried to google for it but cannot find it,

hopefully somebody here is familiar with the story? I've seen a link to it illustrated on the web before but hope I can find it again and keep it bookmarked.

im still looking for this, if anyone can help.

Are people here really unfamiliar with this story?

It was presented to me once back in grade school, in the early 90s,

I saw it again a few years ago linked onto someone's okcupid profile, so I know it's out there.

 

[Media]

im still looking for this, if anyone can help.

Are people here really unfamiliar with this story?

It was presented to me once back in grade school, in the early 90s,

I saw it again a few years ago linked onto someone's okcupid profile, so I know it's out there.

It's sparking a memory in me but I'd have no idea where to begin looking for it.

 

[CheesecakeRecipe]

im still looking for this, if anyone can help.

Are people here really unfamiliar with this story?

It was presented to me once back in grade school, in the early 90s,

I saw it again a few years ago linked onto someone's okcupid profile, so I know it's out there.

You're thinking of Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece

 

[Chaos17]

I don't know if some people remember my little story from the previous thread where I got panich attack after I couldn't tolerate anymore the kids running above my appartement 30+ mins regulary. I had no problem with the adults just walking but the running noise that the kids made on the wooden floor... left a scare on my heart since december 2015.

I consulted my doctor and he put me on meds for 1 month, it was light threathement but effective. I got better after my neighboors moved out below my appartement, the noise they made didn't made me had any panic attack (yes only due to fucking noise)
Months after months my sensility to noise got to the level that it makes me annoyed or angry but not depressed with panick attack. Even during the summer I was blessed that my neighboors weren't there and and I could still handle the loud music of the events in my little city.

But since 2 weeks ago, I've gone to a wedding and I didn't know that my table was 5 meter away from the speakers and naively I thought the sound will be reasonable... And that how... thunder stroke my heart (I don't know how to say in english music with low key and loud, a lot of hip hop music have those).
My mental scare from december 2015 got ripped appart, I had a panick attack in less than 5 secs. Usualy it takes me at least 30 mins or 1 hour being exposed to annoying noise to get to that state.

Since then I'm sinking into misophobia little by little, if there're too many people talking all together or even my lover doing dish washing or lot of car passing by me.... I.... it hurts a lot because sounds that never bothered me are making me now suffer.

Yes, I've seen my doctor last week, my threatement is a litle bit heavier than in december. It make me drowsy when it works and when it doesn't I'm super emotive. I've to see a doctor to check my ears if they've been damaged somehow otherwhise I will have to consult a mental health doctor....

Seeing myself sinking just because of noise and where there aren't any I'm fine. Yes, I already tried to wear earphones but I stoped because I can hear my tintus (it didn't got worse after the wedding fortunaly) a lot. Usualy when I don't wear earphone my tintus doesn't really exist but earphone seems to make it louder.

I will probably move out soon if my neigboors don't (I don't what they're doing, they've been just visiting the appartement once or 2 during weeks).

But yeah, I'm sinking, fortunaly I still have some good days. I will have to see my doctor again in 2 weeks. My lover asked me if it's the meds which make me depress (or give the push to make me cry). I don't know...

Sorry for my bad english.

 

[JEKKI]

You're thinking of Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece

YES! thank you thank you!!!!!

 

[Chaos17]

I haven't seen photos of you or anything, but in my experience natural looks can largely be compensated for with cleanliness, a nice haircut, and clothes that suit you. Are you doing anything to improve the way you feel about yourself? Exercise can also be a huge confidence boost and confidence is a good 75% of how you come off to people.

This worked for me during summer, I was slowly changing to this, I felt better about myself but then that wedding had to hapen and I fall back for now into my bad habits....

 

[pixelation]

I am so lonely... but i want to be lonely... but i don't want to be lonely...

I got old before i got old...

 

[JDHarbs]

I'm nearing the end of my month off now. I desperately needed the break after how exhausting classes and work had been over the past year, but I haven't really gotten to relax since every day my mind has dwelled on how shitty my life has become. When I was going to school I had something to focus on which kept me from realizing it, but once I graduated its like this protective bubble that I had built around myself over the years finally popped. It couldn't have happened at a worse time too.

Every day I check social media and see people I know living full lives. They're having fun with friends/family, taking trips, getting married, landing jobs, etc. They're all enjoying their youth while I watch mine pass me by. All I can think about is how far behind I am from all of them. My whole life I've felt afraid of doing anything that I felt I wasn't prepared for. I have enough money and time to travel, but I've never done something like that on my own before and it scares me. I feel like most people gain these independent skills when they go off to college, but neither of my parents ever went and couldn't help with the college process so I panicked and played it safe. I stayed at home and attended CC instead. Since I graduated, I've been in a constant state of panic feeling like I've screwed up my life over a panicked decision I made years ago. Unless I relocate to a place that has more jobs to offer, freelance is all I will be able to do with the degree that I have which will never pay enough for me to live on my own. I can't decide if I should go back to school and put my life on hold for another 4 years (making me 28 by the time I graduate), or just hope for the best finding other work that could use what skills I have (which hasn't been good so far).

Most people reach out to friends or family during times of crisis like this, but I haven't had friends since I was in elementary school and I've never felt like I could open up to my family because tough love has been their response to everything my entire life. No sympathizing or consoling whatsoever. If I had a problem it was always my own fault and I should just "get over it" to fix it. They also have this way of making me think that their own problems are somehow my fault too. Always mentioning how much they had to sacrifice for me so I "better be happy". I've appreciated how much they've done for me, but I can't control how I feel and making me feel worse doesn't help anything.

I've woken up every day in my childhood bedroom for the last 10 years and wondered how much longer I'm going to feel alienated by the world. Will I be in the exact same place another 10 years from now? Any ray of hope I've had that things will change eventually gets ripped away from me. Nobody understands me. Nobody respects me. Nobody wants me. I'm just a burden with no positive impact on this world, and I have no idea how to fix it.

On the bright side, those old elementary school friends of mine invited me to hang out again this week. Hopefully I don't somehow screw that up too, and this might actually be a regular thing from now on. It would be nice to have friends for once. Plus, TNT has been showing Star Wars all week. That universe has felt like a safe space for me for as long as I could remember, helping me take my mind off of things. Also, thank god for that show Mr. Robot. I can relate to so much of it.

Sorry for the wall of text. Just venting.

 

[neojubei]

I am so lonely... but i want to be lonely... but i don't want to be lonely...

I got old before i got old...

i know how you feel.

 

[Watch Da Birdie]

So borderline personality disorder...anyone have any experience with that?

Haven't been officially diagnosed yet but the therapist I'm talking to considers that a strong possibility and I'll know for sure in a few weeks.

 

[pixelation]

i know how you feel.

*hugs*

 

[Pamplemousse]

So borderline personality disorder...anyone have any experience with that?

Haven't been officially diagnosed yet but the therapist I'm talking to considers that a strong possibility and I'll know for sure in a few weeks.

It's the most diagnosed personality disorder. My sister is a social worker and says it is diagnosed a lot and that some literature says that it is overdiagnosed.

I wouldn't focus on it excessively. Don't feel like a diagnosis has to define you.

 

[Disxo]

It sucks being told that I am a rough person to talk with or even have a relationship.
Even my mom admits that, telling me that I am actually a bad person, one that is always on the offensive, wanting to make shit done, but with a very low self esteem.
Sucks to be told that I am that way, I know that I must change, but every change is futile, I am still being picked up for bullying in school, all of my classmates consider me as a burden.

Whats worse is that my personality clashes so much that today I had enough of their bullshit, of them just not caring about how I feel (And perhaps me with them) that I trash talked everyone on the whatsapp group of the class. Leaving it, only to receive messages of classmates telling me to kill myself.

I was told that way before, but now that particularly hurts, Dont worry, I am just sad right now, that this class, the last one I'd ever have in highschool, one I wanted to remember fondly, one I thought I could try being a new person. Being told to kill myself just like that, because of my personality.
I always tried to do the best for the class as the class president, but that doesnt mean shit for them. With just a month of classes left, I would be remembered as, "that guy who gets pissed", or, as my mom says, as a bad person.

In retrospective, a problem I always had.

 

[Desperado]

I am so lonely... but i want to be lonely... but i don't want to be lonely...

I got old before i got old...

are you me? you are me.

 

[pixelation]

are you me? you are me.

I am you?... who knew?!!

 

[tearsofash]

It's really bizarre that they are still watching this thread and calling me an attention whore for being right about them reading this thread? Ok, lol.

 

[tearsofash]

So borderline personality disorder...anyone have any experience with that?

Haven't been officially diagnosed yet but the therapist I'm talking to considers that a strong possibility and I'll know for sure in a few weeks.

I do. Prepare for doctors to treat you like a hassle. Better go ahead and sign up for DBT

 

[The_Kid]

I feel like the second I figure out how to get through another step in my OCD the world wants to shove me back a few paces. I finally decided to take a piss in the public restroom (they disgust me usually) and when I went to wash my hands there was a brown smear on the soap dispenser. :/

Whelp. I tried.

 

[neojubei]

So i went to my men's group tonight and i really hate the location of the building. Its in an area that has a lot of students and tourists walking everywhere. Almost always i see the cutest Asian guy ever or some gay couple holding hands or eating together outside. Walking around this area makes me feel like the fattest ugliest monster imaginable. All around me are young fit students, tourists and professionals and here I stand the monster among everyone. I think i might quit the group and therapy altogether. I think i want to find a point to where i can just let go and die and let life go on and i can just disappear forever. There is no point for me to exist really. I'm quite tired of being the monster.

 

[Pamplemousse]

So i went to my men's group tonight and i really hate the location of the building. Its in an area that has a lot of students and tourists walking everywhere. Almost always i see the cutest Asian guy ever or some gay couple holding hands or eating together outside. Walking around this area makes me feel like the fattest ugliest monster imaginable. All around me are young fit students, tourists and professionals and here I stand the monster among everyone. I think i might quit the group and therapy altogether. I think i want to find a point to where i can just let go and die and let life go on and i can just disappear forever. There is no point for me to exist really. I'm quite tired of being the monster.

I'm a student and know exactly how you feel. Everyday I have to walk through campus and see all of these attractive guys everywhere. It just reminds of just how hideous I am. I hate being so ugly.

No guy will ever want to be with me. I cannot endure decades more of loneliness and reasonable self-loathing. I didn't ask for this life. I wish I had been aborted.

 

[Astral Dog]

So i went to my men's group tonight and i really hate the location of the building. Its in an area that has a lot of students and tourists walking everywhere. Almost always i see the cutest Asian guy ever or some gay couple holding hands or eating together outside. Walking around this area makes me feel like the fattest ugliest monster imaginable. All around me are young fit students, tourists and professionals and here I stand the monster among everyone. I think i might quit the group and therapy altogether. I think i want to find a point to where i can just let go and die and let life go on and i can just disappear forever. There is no point for me to exist really. I'm quite tired of being the monster.

A bad day neo, i think in these cases its best to not focus your mind on what others look, are doing or work, healthy persons should not focus on others for validation, but work on themselves because they care, i assure you they dont see you as a monster or ogre, you fit well there like ALL the rest, say that to yourself, dont leave teraphy and go to that club, it will help you alot.
and dont think cuddling with strangers on a bus, i assure you they are just going on with their lives and dont have any ill towards you in their mind,s,

It sucks being told that I am a rough person to talk with or even have a relationship.
Even my mom admits that, telling me that I am actually a bad person, one that is always on the offensive, wanting to make shit done, but with a very low self esteem.
Sucks to be told that I am that way, I know that I must change, but every change is futile, I am still being picked up for bullying in school, all of my classmates consider me as a burden.


In retrospective, a problem I always had.

thats very sad,and im not sure why your mom says you are a bad person when most certainly you arent, do you have low patience? have you tried meditation, yoga and morning running, those would help you to keep down the stress.

And very unfortunate what happened with your classmates, hopefully you have a much better experience on college, i think you should stop doing activities involving managing people for now and focus on being part of a group, you might like it more.
what you did on WhatsApp was really inappropiate regardless, specially as a representative and leader of the group, leaders must be mature, understanding but always disciplined, if this is causing conflict you should leave it until you feel better,

I feel like the second I figure out how to get through another step in my OCD the world wants to shove me back a few paces. I finally decided to take a piss in the public restroom (they disgust me usually) and when I went to wash my hands there was a brown smear on the soap dispenser. :/

Whelp. I tried.

lol, dont let a few shitty microbes scare you away from the wonderful world of public restrooms, fascinating things happen there.

 

[neojubei]

I'm a student and know exactly how you feel. Everyday I have to walk through campus and see all of these attractive guys everywhere. It just reminds of just how hideous I am. I hate being so ugly.

No guy will ever want to be with me. I cannot endure decades more of loneliness and reasonable self-loathing. I didn't ask for this life. I wish I had been aborted.

i feel the same. even in college no one would date me. So many people meet their first loves in high school or college and I haven't even dated anyone.

Times like this I wish i can cuddle up with someone or have a romantic kiss. Sigh, when i see threads pop about being engaged or just married or having their first kid, I want to congratulate them however i am reminded as a monster i dont get to have happiness like that. The pain of dying doesn't seem as bad as the pain of living like a monster no one wants. My self-worth in the gay community is zero and at this point i want to give up

 

[Pamplemousse]

i feel the same. even in college no one would date me. So many people meet their first loves in high school or college and I haven't even dated anyone.

Times like this I wish i can cuddle up with someone or have a romantic kiss. Sigh, when i see threads pop about being engaged or just married or having their first kid, I want to congratulate them however i am reminded as a monster i dont get to have happiness like that. The pain of dying doesn't seem as bad as the pain of living like a monster no one wants. My self-worth in the gay community is zero and at this point i want to give up

Mine is too, and I've given up too. I went on two dates in August, and both of them went nowhere. No guy wants me as a boyfriend. I've decided all I'll do is hook up a little bit, something that isn't even that enjoyable because my body prevents me from engaging in the type of sex I would want to have in the first place. :-/ I don't want this.

 

[half a moon]

I don't understand this world. It's very cruel. My life is over.

 

[opticalmace]

I don't understand this world. It's very cruel. My life is over.

What happened?

 

[half a moon]

What happened?

My whole life has been a lie and I'm dying. I can type more, but do you know how the real world works? How high school and life after it works? Or how you been depressed and self isolated like me?

 

[opticalmace]

My whole life has been a lie and I'm dying. I can type more, but do you know how the real world works? How high school and life after it works? Or how you been depressed and self isolated like me?

I'm really sorry to hear it. Really.

I was talking to a friend today about how fleeting life can be. A guy that my SO saw around a couple weeks ago was just killed from a left-turning driver a few days ago. Messes with your head.

I have fought with depression off and on. Right now mainly anxiety. I scheduled an appointment with a counselor for this week, for the first time in a long long time.

If there is more you want to say there are people here who will listen.

 

[half a moon]

I'm really sorry to hear it. Really.

I was talking to a friend today about how fleeting life can be. A guy that my SO saw around a couple weeks ago was just killed from a left-turning driver a few days ago. Messes with your head.

I have fought with depression off and on. Right now mainly anxiety. I scheduled an appointment with a counselor for this week, for the first time in a long long time.

If there is more you want to say there are people here who will listen.

I've only known people who have died of illness later in age. More time to accept and say goodbye. I never knew anyone personally die young. It's all so scary and depressing.

I've always been this quiet, weird, probably autistic kid without friends. I know my sister hated me growing up. I'm starting to realize I was a disappointment, mean, selfish, hated, and no one really cared about helping me. My Dad never encouraged me to make friends. I didn't develop strong relationships with anyone including family.

I was in high school after Columbine. It's obvious now I was most likely profiled as the creepy weirdo who might do something crazy and no one wanted anything to do with me. I think everyone including my family realized this. I just thought no one cared or noticed me. I thought my world, my classmates, my sisters, my online friends, my dad's were all separate. I was only focused on how afraid I was to start a conversation with people and wasn't self aware. Clearly there was theory of mind issues. But, clearly they all discussed me.

That leads me into deception. I think people played tricks on me to test my character. Even as far as a girl dating me. I think people knew I'd take the break up hard and they were setting me up for suicide. It seems so very unlikely this girl would date one of the weirdest kid in school. It makes no sense what so ever.

I think I was eventually laced with PCP to mess with my mind. Which,at that point everyone clearly decided I was a terrible and unwanted person. You're probably thinking "karma" and I deserve it. For the next 6 years I guess I continued to be a shitty person in self isolation to the point where I don't think Doctors will help me right now and my family want me dead.

Here's a few articles I read recently:
http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2015/08/the-truth-behind-why-doctors-dont-tell-the-truth.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/acti...-doctor-doesnt-always-tell-you-the-truth.html

"When I first walked onto an NHS ward in 1984, many patients were not even told if they had a serious diagnosis such as cancer, multiple sclerosis or dementia. We assumed you weren’t able to contribute, didn’t want to know or that telling you might just make you more anxious and unable to cope. "

"It’s going to upset you, and it’s not worth it because it may make you want to complain about us or sue us."

""It’s probably a virus" means "go away"."

I believe I have a terminal illness that no one will tell me about because I became such a shitty and hated person. And that's apparently how the real world works.

Edit. Also, my dad just admitted he wanted me dead since I was a baby. Which makes sense. I was retarded or autistic, my mom got her tubes tied, they got divorced, my dad became an alcoholic for 15 years.

Edit: at the er. Doctors never removed my gallbladder. Was shown it on ultrasound just now. I'm being murdered. This whole time the surgery was a ruse.

So this is the real world? Docs murder

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

You do not have a terminal illness, you have a paranoid delusion as a side-product of what I assume is a severe depression or even a full on episode. If you do have concerns about your health, visit a doctor and get an answer. Also, 'people are after me' is a clear-cut sign of a paranoid delusion. Reality is that people don't have time for that, nor the desire. People are generally speaking trying to be the best they can be, even if they can be pricks at other times or in general. I am not denying that you currently feel that way, but that's not what actually real. Please talk about it with your therapist or doctor, or even priest if you can't get the other two.

That said, you obviously didn't get to pick your parents and living with an alcoholic does a number on your mental health. If you can live independently from that, you should pursue that after recovering from your current episode. At least I hope that's what it is. I am no expert at that.

 

[SugarDave]

You do not have a terminal illness, you have a paranoid delusion as a side-product of what I assume is a severe depression or even a full on episode. If you do have concerns about your health, visit a doctor and get an answer. Also, 'people are after me' is a clear-cut sign of a paranoid delusion. Reality is that people don't have time for that, nor the desire. People are generally speaking trying to be the best they can be, even if they can be pricks at other times or in general. I am not denying that you currently feel that way, but that's not what actually real. Please talk about it with your therapist or doctor, or even priest if you can't get the other two.

That said, you obviously didn't get to pick your parents and living with an alcoholic does a number on your mental health. If you can live independently from that, you should pursue that after recovering from your current episode. At least I hope that's what it is. I am no expert at that.

I agree with this post. I'm not going to try and downplay how rough you've had it in life or tell you how you should be feeling, Moon, but your post is absolutely dripping with severe paranoia that you need to tackle. I know that's reductive as hell and it really isn't as easy as "just beat it, bro" but that worldview is only going to make things worse.

 

[Pamplemousse]

That leads me into deception. I think people played tricks on me to test my character. Even as far as a girl dating me. I think people knew I'd take the break up hard and they were setting me up for suicide. It seems so very unlikely this girl would date one of the weirdest kid in school. It makes no sense what so ever.

I think I was eventually laced with PCP to mess with my mind.

I believe I have a terminal illness that no one will tell me about because I became such a shitty and hated person. And that's apparently how the real world works.

Edit. Also, my dad just admitted he wanted me dead since I was a baby. Which makes sense. I was retarded or autistic, my mom got her tubes tied, they got divorced, my dad became an alcoholic for 15 years.

Edit: at the er. Doctors never removed my gallbladder. Was shown it on ultrasound just now. I'm being murdered. This whole time the surgery was a ruse.

Don't take this the wrong way, but these are delusional thoughts and are possibly indicative of paranoid schizophrenia.

If you haven't seen a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, you need to do so as soon as possible.

Please get help.

 

[Xenoboy]

You're in the same situation I was in except I'm now 23, no longer in school, and nothing has changed. I'd give anything right now to go back and redo it. Don't be me. Start by taking small steps to improve your situation. Worry about the rest later. It's amazing what something as simple as a new set of clothes you like will do to help your self image and give a confidence boost knowing that you like the way you look.

The key is to be patient with your progress. If things don't work out this semester then you'll have another soon with new classes and people to meet. The closest thing I've had to friends didn't happen until my senior year.

pm me if you ever need to

Sorry I'm late, but thanks for replying. I have more new clothes than ever before now, this was before your suggestion, but it doesn't really make me feel any different when I think about it. And it's also hard taking these steps, I have tried before and now, but it never feels like it pays off, or maybe I'm oblivious.

It's just so hard for me to approach someone without feeling a lot of remorse afterwards. I went to a therapist and this was our main topic, but now it has crept up again and I'm feeling out of control. And

The other thing is I don't really know anymore what I want in regards to my social life. Do I really need this? I think I do, since I do feel like my loneliness impacts my mental state in some ways.

Then I am also obsessed or rather fascinated with the idea of being in a relationship, which I don't know if I really want. Most people around me, that I know, are in one or have been in one. Maybe I just like the fact there will be someone there who one will go to, or who will go to you, because they like each other.

 

[Chaos17]

I made my appointment with the ENT (doctor or the ears), unfortunaly it's in 1 month... I might go see again my general doctor next week because I'm really living badly my everyday life, I'm so emotional even when nothing bad happened during the day.

After some research on internet, I think I sufffer hyperacusis but it's transforming into hate toward any source that make the sound that make me suffer. Fortunaly, I've improuved about ambient sounds so I can go to the public library to get some peace without the sound of people and cars making me suffer.

My mother encouraged to get a massage, I think I will take the offer in hope I can hang in there until next week without crumbling down too much.

 

[JDHarbs]

Sorry I'm late, but thanks for replying. I have more new clothes than ever before now, this was before your suggestion, but it doesn't really make me feel any different when I think about it. And it's also hard taking these steps, I have tried before and now, but it never feels like it pays off, or maybe I'm oblivious.

It's easy to get discouraged when wanting results badly, but patience is the key. All you can do is focus on one problem at a time. Once one is fixed, move onto the next, and eventually your issue will become smaller and smaller. It's going to take time which is something I struggled with. For me, new clothes were a small step that helped. You just have to think of what kind of small steps you can take to improve how you view yourself.

It's just so hard for me to approach someone without feeling a lot of remorse afterwards. I went to a therapist and this was our main topic, but now it has crept up again and I'm feeling out of control. And

My biggest problem when going through school was assuming that no one wanted anything to do with me when in reality everyone wants to make new friends, but friendships are a natural progression that take time and work from both sides. Everyone is hesitant at first because they don't know each other yet. When I wasn't getting instant results then I would give up quickly feeling like I was just bothering them and wasting their time. Your remorse might be from something similar.

I'd maybe start off with something smaller instead of jumping right into approaching people. Group assignments in school are a good stepping stone because everyone is forced to converse with each other. I met a few people this way, but I neglected to stay in touch after classes ended.

The other thing is I don't really know anymore what I want in regards to my social life. Do I really need this? I think I do, since I do feel like my loneliness impacts my mental state in some ways.

I've noticed over the years that I am much more comfortable when I am alone and prefer it that way, but the thought that no one ever wanted to see or hear from me really got to me. It made me feel unwanted which spoiled the alone time that I previously valued. You may be experiencing something similar. You might be comfortable being alone, but feel left out by not having what others have. That might explain this uncertainty in what you want from a social life. Many introverts desire to be an extrovert, but that means going outside of our comfort zones so we're naturally hesitant to it. It sounds like you just need to find the kind of people that are right for you. Joining clubs for things that interest you immediately gives you something in common with everyone there, and everyone joins clubs with the goal of making friends in mind.

Then I am also obsessed or rather fascinated with the idea of being in a relationship, which I don't know if I really want. Most people around me, that I know, are in one or have been in one. Maybe I just like the fact there will be someone there who one will go to, or who will go to you, because they like each other.

Relationships are naturally attractive to people because it means having someone who will support you as you are without the need to change, but relationships rarely work out that way. You can't put that kind of pressure on one person to be your entire support system. I made that mistake. You should really try to connect with other people first before jumping into a relationship because if it doesn't work out then your entire support system is gone and you will feel more lonely than you've ever been. If you feel like you can handle something casual just to get some dating experience then there is always online dating which should help with any issues approaching people.

 

[hodgy100]

Hey Guys.

Just posting for a bit of advice really.

A friend of mine is suffering really bad with depression at the moment. I managed to talk them down last night and they spent the night at mine where we just talked.

I managed to get them out of bed this morning get them sorted and out to work. I told them they could stay at mine again tonight and we could just mong out to some tv or something. I'm kind of at a loss of how to help them, they dont want to help themselves, they have some serious history that is preventing them going to family and they dont have any friends they feel close enough to ask for help. They feel like they are being a massive burden on me even though I really dont mind putting some time aside for them.

what do you guys recommend?

 

[RoyalLaFlame]

Almost 3 months since my ex-girlfriend dumped me. This has taken a toll on me greater than I ever imagined. Changed me in every aspect, I'm not the same guy as I was before... I can't be. I trusted too soon, got fucked, loved too soon, got fucked, expected so much, got fucked. Everything I did got me to this point, I can't be the same guy I was before all of this - I refuse to. I've got to learn something from it... I have to protect myself and be a little more egocentric. I have good friends that really care about me, I know I do, but I can't seem to feel ok next to them. I only like to hangout with my brother (who has been listening to my crying and was the first one to give comfort after everything) and a few friends I've known for years. Maybe I'm being a bad person but I really don't care... I can't seem to care about anything regarding others right now. I know this is will pass but that's how I feel.

I got no closure from her so I had to create my own. Sent her a text last Sunday but no response, as expected. Felt a little better after it but I still have her on my mind. Leaves me depressed throughout the day and I only feel good after the gym. In fact, I feel amazing after the gym. Right now I'm feeling like shit because I'm constantly thinking about everything. I think the gym is my favourite place right now, I don't think that much about it and I feel really good after every workout.

It feels like I'm always running from something. I just want to spend a day without thinking about it, close my eyes when going to sleep and not think about it, wake up and not thinking about it.

Feeling a little better but I just needed to vent.

 

[junpei]

I feel like I'm having trouble functioning at work. I got this internship so that I could finally get my degree. But this constant challenge of balancing School,intership,and work is getting to me. Most of my internship is independent and that is a huge problem for me .I can't work unless I'm under someone supervision. My preceptors don't really have a plan for me and I have to make up shit as I go .I just can't fake the funk for 270 hours. I know that things are bad because whenever I want to give up on it all I think about running away . I kinda feel like I'm trapped in this shitty life and I don't have the willpower to change it.

 

[hunchback]

I need some help finding a in patient mental facility in western Washington state.

The one's I have found so far, don't accept patients on Suboxone. I'm massively disabled and that is what they give me for pain after being over prescribed with regular pain meds.

I'm suffering from extreme depression and want to go to a facility. I have been in therapy and have had a Physciatrist for over a year and not one thing has improved.

Why do they punish people on Suboxone? I have no other means of pain control. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to feel really desperate. I can't take the physical pain anymore and I can't handle the depression anymore. I feel like I'm trapped in a corner with no way out.

It doesn't help matters when I try to help myself and these facilities say no because of Suboxone. It's not my fault I'm disabled and in constant pain. It's also not my fault I had a Dr over prescribe and then retire to Beverly Hills. I just want some fucking help.

Sorry for blabbering. Does anyone have any ideas?

 

[Captainbojanglesiii]

Sorry I'm late, but thanks for replying. I have more new clothes than ever before now, this was before your suggestion, but it doesn't really make me feel any different when I think about it. And it's also hard taking these steps, I have tried before and now, but it never feels like it pays off, or maybe I'm oblivious.

It's just so hard for me to approach someone without feeling a lot of remorse afterwards. I went to a therapist and this was our main topic, but now it has crept up again and I'm feeling out of control. And

The other thing is I don't really know anymore what I want in regards to my social life. Do I really need this? I think I do, since I do feel like my loneliness impacts my mental state in some ways.

Then I am also obsessed or rather fascinated with the idea of being in a relationship, which I don't know if I really want. Most people around me, that I know, are in one or have been in one. Maybe I just like the fact there will be someone there who one will go to, or who will go to you, because they like each other.

Sounds a bit like myself. I have some friends at university, but they're all from High School. I'm really bad at taking initiative in conversation because I always feel like I'm being rude in doing so, but I do want to meet more people so it's hard.

I went to my school's gaming club today, but it's moreso an esports event planning club than what I expected, which is still cool and all, I'll still go, but most people were there for League. (To be fair there are two Smash tournaments a week here, which I will probably be able to meet people at). I guess I'm gonna try to join more clubs to meet people, but it's only really to create more opportunities for people to approach me.

As for relationships, you need to keep in mind it's to an extent a matter of chance and opportunity. Having not been in one doesn't necessarily say something about you, as there are people with likely all of your 'problems' exemplified to the 10th degree. Of course, it's up to you to make some of those opportunities happen, but you can't make it too personal or you'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy

 

[Booker Dewitt]

Listening to the new vice gaming podcast helped get me through the minimum wage slog today. Hearing Austin Walker's excitement over getting to build something he really cares about helped fuel my aspiration of getting out of the minimum wage Hellboy and do much the same.

Also, gonna apply to the USPS again, it'll be a seasonal position more than likely, but a break from the theater and a higher wage should be nice.