GalacticToast
Member
I turn 24 tomorrow. All I can think of is how I want it to be over and done with before the end of the year. Fuck this shit.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Mental Health |OT2| - Light in the Darkness
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
Its either or sex and lord knows no one wants to be with a horrid ugly thing like me.
Must be nice to be young, fit, good looking and gay. i wonder what my life would have been if i was fit and attractive. People like me really should not be born in this world, its nothing but pain and crap all day everyday.
I'd like to at least kiss a guy i like on my last day alive, but that will never happen.
Pamplemousse
Member
I feel ya, neo.
I'll be dying without ever having experienced sex at all.
The best I can do is just blowing random guys. One of them even blocked me afterward probably because I'm ugly and bad at giving head. I'll just add that to my endless list of reasons why death is better.
I'll be dying without ever having experienced sex at all.
The best I can do is just blowing random guys. One of them even blocked me afterward probably because I'm ugly and bad at giving head. I'll just add that to my endless list of reasons why death is better.I really do hope those of you in the last few posts do find some peace. Fighting the demon that is depression is a exhausting thing to do. It feels like an endless uphill battle. Stick in there and fight for those moments of happiness. If you see a moment that is making you happy don't stop yourself from enjoying it. Hell I've had some pretty rough few days lately and just felt awful. Then today at work we were having a team huddle and people were joking about. I caught myself being a curmudgeon hating then for their happiness. I had to force myself to join in the joking. Eventually that broke my rut and really helped me going forward.
Stay strong people don't give up!
Stay strong people don't give up!
Just letting you know that I appreciate your positive posts. I think it was you who mentioned their boss complimenting them on being a real asset at work, especially in regards to being there for people and I can see why (apologies if it was someone else, I might be misremembering).
Obviously there's a limit on what you can do to be there for people over a forum and it's ultimately up to the individual to jump the hurdles, but it's always nice to see someone just being nice.
I still feel like a lost cause, descending into one of those valleys big time at the moment, but oh well... guess I should be used to the feeling by now.
Heckler456
Banned
Just got a job after a very long time of being unemployed.
I realized that I either just simply don't function in society, or that I simply am not meant to function in society. It's a sad realization to make. I keep telling myself "just give it time" or "maybe it'll get better once this or that happens", but really, it's all fake hope.
And the thing is, things went rather well, you know. The people with whom I started were friendly towards me, and even engaged me in conversation, but even towards the end of the day there were signs that the usual pullback was happening, you know. I look at how other people interact with one another, and they're all laid back and happy and all that, but I can barely muster a "fake happy while dying inside of anxiety" attitude without breaking apart.
It sucks. I just want to be normal. I wish those bad things that made me who I am didn't happen. It fucking sucks.
I realized that I either just simply don't function in society, or that I simply am not meant to function in society. It's a sad realization to make. I keep telling myself "just give it time" or "maybe it'll get better once this or that happens", but really, it's all fake hope.
And the thing is, things went rather well, you know. The people with whom I started were friendly towards me, and even engaged me in conversation, but even towards the end of the day there were signs that the usual pullback was happening, you know. I look at how other people interact with one another, and they're all laid back and happy and all that, but I can barely muster a "fake happy while dying inside of anxiety" attitude without breaking apart.
It sucks. I just want to be normal. I wish those bad things that made me who I am didn't happen. It fucking sucks.
I feel ya, neo.
I'll be dying without ever having experienced sex at all.
Why don't you two find a room? Im half serious.
Pamplemousse
Member
Nobody wants to get a room with me. I'm sorry. I'll try to tone it down, but it's nice having neojubei because he understands what I'm going through.
I've started looking into volunteer work lately. I feel like it would really improve my mood doing work that actually does some good. The last time I volunteered I was in my high school honors program and I felt like a 5th wheel the entire time with the supervisors shuffling me around to different teams just to find something for me to do. It didn't feel very rewarding at all. Hopefully a second try improves things.
It's just the nature of this thread it's going to lean more towards the depressing feelings. Some positive sayings are needed every now and then. If me saying nice and meaningful things can help someone forget that they are in a bad mood for any kind of time is a success to me. I know it took me some time to get use to being around those that were happy and to allow myself to be happy as well. Sure I still have my down times and they suck but I know they won't last forever.
You aren't a lost cause that's the depression talking including old habits that will be hard to change when it comes to saying such things of yourself.
I'm sitting on PC now, trying to get calm but I can't. On surface I'm calm but inside I feel burning in my chest, thoughts going all over trying to figure out what's missing, or something I forgot or should do or will do. I can't focus on anything because I just keep interrupting that and thinking "is there something else, should I have been doing or do something else" etc.
It's worst at night as I get more tired and during the day it can come and go but it's there most of the time at some level.
Like I'll be watching a movie at cinema and suddenly I feel like I "dropped a thought", forgot something, then my mind goes crazy trying to think what it is and focusing on it, all while I'm still watching the movie. At home usually I'll be pausing every few seconds until I remember some irrelevant thing that passed in my mind for a second during that or previous day and then it goes back to normal until it happens again. And right now before bed I just can't do anything really, I can just be sitting and looking at the floor thinking if there's anything to do, but instead I try to look at insta, fb etc and try to take my mind of things and fall asleep. Also sometimes, luckily not now, I'll focus on some event and then keep going on and on about what I should have done or will in response, or sometimes imaginary scenario that might happen based on something.
I was told I have anxiety, does it sound like it?
I certainly suffer from depression from time to time but it could also be caused by this that fucks my mind so much it makes me unable to enjoy life and all the good things I have. Can't study now due to procrastination and I keep beating myself up so bad, and when I try kinda same thing happens with brain, just goes places... To me it can feel like I'm obsessed with not forgetting or letting thoughts go, ocd level, I am slightly forgetful and I keep making lists and writing things down but middle of conversation when you forget what you were about to say, that eats me up and that feel a lot of people might have experienced is what its like for me most of the time.
Also it's hard to distinguish what's part od my personality and way I am vs what's actually fucked due to whatever is fucking my brain up :/
It's worst at night as I get more tired and during the day it can come and go but it's there most of the time at some level.
Like I'll be watching a movie at cinema and suddenly I feel like I "dropped a thought", forgot something, then my mind goes crazy trying to think what it is and focusing on it, all while I'm still watching the movie. At home usually I'll be pausing every few seconds until I remember some irrelevant thing that passed in my mind for a second during that or previous day and then it goes back to normal until it happens again. And right now before bed I just can't do anything really, I can just be sitting and looking at the floor thinking if there's anything to do, but instead I try to look at insta, fb etc and try to take my mind of things and fall asleep. Also sometimes, luckily not now, I'll focus on some event and then keep going on and on about what I should have done or will in response, or sometimes imaginary scenario that might happen based on something.
I was told I have anxiety, does it sound like it?
I certainly suffer from depression from time to time but it could also be caused by this that fucks my mind so much it makes me unable to enjoy life and all the good things I have. Can't study now due to procrastination and I keep beating myself up so bad, and when I try kinda same thing happens with brain, just goes places... To me it can feel like I'm obsessed with not forgetting or letting thoughts go, ocd level, I am slightly forgetful and I keep making lists and writing things down but middle of conversation when you forget what you were about to say, that eats me up and that feel a lot of people might have experienced is what its like for me most of the time.
Also it's hard to distinguish what's part od my personality and way I am vs what's actually fucked due to whatever is fucking my brain up :/
You say you've been told you have anxiety, was that by a mental health professional or just people in general? If it's just people I'd highly recommend a therapist and psychiatrist to hone in on exactly what's going on.
Astral Dog
Member
good idea but it would sell out so quick!
you know i been trying to llift your spirit to fight for a better fullfilling life. but you know what? maybe you re right how can i tell you how to live if i cant even know what to do in this world, just wish someday you find a bit of hapiness
Im hideous and a failure maybe its time to accept this and move on
Captainbojanglesiii
Banned
So a friend of mine recently discovered alcohol and has very quickly resorted to drinking several times a week as it makes him feel better. Sounds to me like he's already becoming dependent on it. Is there something I should do about this? He's never been officially diagnosed, but he pretty clearly seems to suffer from some sort of depression, and I'm a bit worried about him.
Contact your insurance is what I did and just asked them to look some up for me. If you have blue cross blue shield you can go here and put in the first 3 letters on your insurance card member ID into it and search in your area. Not sure about other insurances though. That is if you have insurance if not then I am not exactly sure what to do.
Hey_Blinkin
Member
Some random thoughts from a rough day:
I hate when people who say "just be more confident". Like it's a switch that I can just flip. I have nothing to be confident about. I'm an underachieving, unattractive middle-aged man with nothing going on in his life.
I hate when people who say "you should smile more". I smile when people make me laugh. Smiling for the sake of smiling just seems weird. It reminds me of something someone told me. "It's flattering when an attractive person smiles at you, but creepy when an ugly person does." People find me creepy enough as it is.
Maybe being completely emotionally numb isn't all bad. I'm definitely not happy, but I don't really feel sad either. Just kinda "meh".
Sometimes it's amusing just how far my mind will go when a woman just says good morning to me. I can get a good 15 minute high of ridiculous fairy tale style happily ever after bullshit from it. I guess at least I'm self aware enough to know just how crazy the whole thing is after the fact.
I hate when people who say "just be more confident". Like it's a switch that I can just flip. I have nothing to be confident about. I'm an underachieving, unattractive middle-aged man with nothing going on in his life.
I hate when people who say "you should smile more". I smile when people make me laugh. Smiling for the sake of smiling just seems weird. It reminds me of something someone told me. "It's flattering when an attractive person smiles at you, but creepy when an ugly person does." People find me creepy enough as it is.
Maybe being completely emotionally numb isn't all bad. I'm definitely not happy, but I don't really feel sad either. Just kinda "meh".
Sometimes it's amusing just how far my mind will go when a woman just says good morning to me. I can get a good 15 minute high of ridiculous fairy tale style happily ever after bullshit from it. I guess at least I'm self aware enough to know just how crazy the whole thing is after the fact.
You aren't crazy man for having those high moments like that after a woman says "Good morning." Wanting to have something like that is normal and when you are starved for something like that your mind can run with it no biggie. I know I use to have all kinds of thoughts about certain women who just would be normal to me. As long as you realize you are doing it and you can see why and use that to push you to do more things or improve yourself in anyway is always a good way to go about it.
This is one of the reasons why I'm afraid of trying alcohol. I'll be 24 soon and have never really drank before because I fear I'll become dependent on it to deal with my anxiety and depression. It makes me feel left out which just fuels my symptoms more.
As for advice, the best thing I can come up with is to just talk to him about it. Sometimes hearing that someone else is concerned about you can really help.
About two weeks ago I had this feeling where I wanted to kill myself so I went to the counseling center at my school for help. I now have a therapist again for the first time in 3/4 years and it feels nice. I also decided to try medication again and the doctor prescribed Wellbutrin. I got the generic since I don't have insurance and can't pay $300 dollars out of pocket.
Either way, I'm excited for the future since it feels like I've been slowly hitting rock bottom forever. There's no where else to go but up right?
Either way, I'm excited for the future since it feels like I've been slowly hitting rock bottom forever. There's no where else to go but up right?
Always go generic if you can saves so much money. I was on Wellbutrin til I lost my insurance and Psychiatrist earlier this year and it along with other medications worked wonders for me. The medicine I used for ADHD is $60 a bottle on my current insurance so I'll check my other options when I finally get a psychiatrist if this one accepts me soon.
Congrats on getting yourself much needed help that's always the hardest step to take. Just remember even though depression will say no don't go forward stay here or go back with me. Never backwards always forwards even if baby steps is better than nothing.
Thank you Red. I'll definitely make sure to remember that. <3
My doctor also gave me a Big RX Discount card so instead of paying around $30+ for the medication, I only ended up paying $14 which was nice. Today was my first day trying it so I'll try to post an update on how it's been working for me in a couple of weeks.
after being single for about 20 months, I've managed to shut these feelings off. i feel like some kind of monk or hermit or something.
my perfect world involves not having to get up and work a 9-5 every day. it's slowly killing me. luckily I should be getting my real estate license in december, which should help me when it comes to creating a more flexible working schedule!
I am like the reverse of you then I was basically a hermit my entire adult life until last year and now even though sometimes I hate it I can't wait to go to work and just get out of the house. When it comes to the whole wanting another person thing and being single yeah it sucks donkey balls sometimes. I haven't shut those feelings off as if I did it would throw me out of whack really.
There's always been a lot of people who pick their partners based on looks, even before the advent of social media and dating apps. But you always find the odd kind soul that can look past what you see as your physical flaws. I did meet people like that throughout my life after years of feeling unwanted and isolating myself, my arms look like a crazed butcher let out his anger on a piece of meat and I never had a six-pack, always was a weakling. "Not really anyone's type" I thought back then, now years ago. I was wrong though, and I think so are you. I had to get out there more. Find work that I liked. Find out who is there to help me and cut contact with the people that I felt always dragged me down, even if I was sure that it wasn't their intention. Only after I had done all that now is when that dawned on me, that I am not cursed to live in misery, and that that thought was a whole load of rubbish.
I am not whole and a fully functioning human being again - if I ever was - but I am taking steps.
I hope you can figure it out too, neojubei & pamplemousse.
Pamplemousse
Member
Thank you. I'm glad many of you are improving your lives and taking steps to feel better. I hope everyone here can find contentment.
Sectorseven
Member
It sounds lame, but it's true:
Thoughts -> Feelings -> Actions
Personally, I wouldn't put much faith in whatever evaluation a psychiatrist gives, especially if you go in thinking you need meds. They hand prescriptions out like candy and It will be a self fulfilling confirmation.
Just telling yourself your confident might work for some but not everyone. It took me over year to build up confidence to
I disagree with this wholeheartedly I don't mean to sound like I am attacking or anything but do you have any studies or anything to site to back that up?
Sectorseven
Member
Studies that prove thoughts lead to actions? I mean, any recovery program's first step is accepting responsibility. That in itself is a change in thought process. Or look at anyone who has succeeded in overcoming adversity.
No sorry I worded it weirdly. I was asking about the whole don't put faith in Psychiatrists and the over prescribing problem.
Sectorseven
Member
1 in 5 Americans is on a psych med. From 2001-2010, usage increased 22%. Anti-anxiety med usage in children ages 10-19 increased 50%. Anti-depressants in children actually went down after 2004, probably because so many were committing suicide.
There are conflicting studies about their efficacy. The effects of antidepressants have been duplicated up to 82% by placebos.
Pamplemousse
Member
Psychiatrists definitely overmedicate. Handing out meds is the only advantage they have over psychologists who actually do the work with patients. This is in the U.S. at least. Perhaps in other countries psychiatrists also do therapy.
I literally walked into a psychiarist's office and asked for Adderall and was given it without any hesitation. Lol
Sectorseven is also right about antidepressants having questionable efficacy. One of my psych professors flat out said that doctors have no idea if they actually do anything, and one study I saw found that only one antidepressant out of 14 showed to do more than a placebo.
I think this really shows that getting "better" ultimately comes down to the individual and if they can find a way to go on. A pill really isn't gonna do much for you, especially if you're depressed about pervasive, lifelong issues. You have to want it, and with the help of therapy, close friends, and family, you might make it to a good place.
I literally walked into a psychiarist's office and asked for Adderall and was given it without any hesitation. Lol
Sectorseven is also right about antidepressants having questionable efficacy. One of my psych professors flat out said that doctors have no idea if they actually do anything, and one study I saw found that only one antidepressant out of 14 showed to do more than a placebo.
I think this really shows that getting "better" ultimately comes down to the individual and if they can find a way to go on. A pill really isn't gonna do much for you, especially if you're depressed about pervasive, lifelong issues. You have to want it, and with the help of therapy, close friends, and family, you might make it to a good place.
Psychiatrist but I'm not so sure on their skills, public healthcare and all., and had sessions with psychologist later and that was huge waste of time. Man sometimes I think I should just do drugs to be able to feel positive and not shit most of the time. Even when I'm in amazing situations or ones I want half the time my mind will make it shit.
If actual medicine or placebos have the desired effect I see no issue with it really other than it can cost some money depending on the medication. Either way do what you feel is right and if seeing a psychiatrist is right for you do it & if after meeting with one you feel they didn't really listen or it might not be worth it just stop. Trying something like that can't really hurt.
Sectorseven
Member
Sure, I don't want anyone to suffer. If medication works, more power to you. But a lot of people walk out of the psychiatrists office just blindly accepting their illness and whatever is prescribed, and if the medicine doesn't help, the answer is usually "try a different one" or "add more."
All because school system reforms aren't happening. Conservative and complacent people loving their old horrible teaching methods too much to ever change.
Wish therapy was more widely used instead of meds, personally. If it comes down to it I feel talking is a lot more helpful than just swallowing some pills to block your thoughts. Especially for a kid. I find it actually quite horrifying, imagining a kid that can't use the full range of their brilliant mind to imagine everything. Imagination goes down later on in their life anyway, to steal that from them is just robbing them of an important part of a normal childhood.
When I am on medication I don't use it to block my thoughts. I still have negative thoughts and the like when I am on medicine. What it has done for me at least is make it so the valleys of when I got depression weren't so extreme or long lasting. Ever since not being on meds for 4 1/2 months I have felt that depression growing stronger and the valleys ever lower and lower. No amount of me being confident will change that in me believe you me I have tried it that way. Sure now that I have kickstarted my life again I could probably go on like this and do good but I'd like to not have the days or weeks were I just feel like utter crap about everything because of the depression. I try my best and be positive in this thread and being positive does help somewhat but it's only a band-aid at this point.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
I think i'm finally hitting the peak of self hatred. For a while I was drawing everyday, now I can't find the desire. The job I thought would turn my self esteem around has developed into one of the most depressing, soul sucking experiences. I hate my aspirations, I hate my personality. I hate the way I look.
Nothing works out for me. Not my jobs, not my creative ambitions, not my mental health. Everything I try at I seem to fail miserably. I focus on the past every other second of my existence. My anger towards things that have happened in the last three years is on my mind every day. My mistakes, the fights i've had with friends. How it could be my fault or maybe what I could have done wrong.
Nothing is right. I won't allow myself to go home because I know as soon as that plane lands and I feel that sickening fucking horrid Florida heat, i'll just sink into a depression and starve myself back home instead. Hell, I nearly did that before I moved here. So, i'm stuck here. I'm trapped in my own head.
I don't seem to have the ability to take care of myself. I fantasize about easy ways to not exist, or what it would be like to be someone with talent. Someone with a future. I look at other people and just feel envy. I can't imagine myself ever succeeding at something meaningful. Whats the point anymore. I drink to temporarily cover my thoughts.
I don't know what im doing anymore. I don't know how to be happy. I don't know why i'm alive.
Nothing works out for me. Not my jobs, not my creative ambitions, not my mental health. Everything I try at I seem to fail miserably. I focus on the past every other second of my existence. My anger towards things that have happened in the last three years is on my mind every day. My mistakes, the fights i've had with friends. How it could be my fault or maybe what I could have done wrong.
Nothing is right. I won't allow myself to go home because I know as soon as that plane lands and I feel that sickening fucking horrid Florida heat, i'll just sink into a depression and starve myself back home instead. Hell, I nearly did that before I moved here. So, i'm stuck here. I'm trapped in my own head.
I don't seem to have the ability to take care of myself. I fantasize about easy ways to not exist, or what it would be like to be someone with talent. Someone with a future. I look at other people and just feel envy. I can't imagine myself ever succeeding at something meaningful. Whats the point anymore. I drink to temporarily cover my thoughts.
I don't know what im doing anymore. I don't know how to be happy. I don't know why i'm alive.
Reading through everything you have said I feel for you I really do. It's hard not to let depression make it to were your favorite things become things you can't stand & not letting the past stay in the past were it belongs and looking forward. Be strong Horse Detective I know it may seem helpless at this time but it isn't you have so much potential in you that is being suppressed by the depression and other things. Fight it with every thing you had and if and when you feel like you've used all you got give even more to fight the bastard that is depression and other mental issues.
If you have anything you want to talk about more feel free to PM me.
That's the spirit! It won't be easy but nothing that is satisfying and fulfilling ever really is. Just keep at it you will have slip ups and fall back a bit but that's normal just got to continue forward never back. I know sorry for my platitudes and everything but I am just wanting to help encourage anyone I can in anyway I know. I really do wish you the best NIGHT- reading the previous post of yours I am glad you finally reached this point.
How About No
Member
So this probably stupid and inconsequential but I think I'm having a sugar-related anxiety attack at work right now. Started moving really fast talking to myself and I'm really concerned I'm gonna do something weird or lash out in front of a customer. I'm on an hour lunch but I can't promise myself it won't just start again when I come back
Can anyone vouch that a supplement like L-Theanine or tea will help me in a quickie
Sorta fucked up part is I almost don't want to come down from this feeling, like see where this takes me. Likely no where good so bad idea
Life advice: never eat ice cream or drink soda at night ever again
Can anyone vouch that a supplement like L-Theanine or tea will help me in a quickie
Sorta fucked up part is I almost don't want to come down from this feeling, like see where this takes me. Likely no where good so bad idea
Life advice: never eat ice cream or drink soda at night ever again
I have an appointment with my doctor in a week. I'm basically going to beg her to lower my pain, which has reached levels in the last few months which are unbearable. There's nothing she can do for my fatigue which is also often unbearable but if I can reduce one level of my suffering, maybe I can continue on for a while longer. I know that as things stand now, I'm pretty much at the end of my rope.
Royal_Phalanx
Member
Do you have to reply to birthday texts? Because I didn't thinking it was unnecessary and I'm extremely worried that I've upset people by not doing it (I know very few people, if I did upset anyone I would be lonely as fuck). The person who texted me added me to a group chat a week later asking everyone in it to post their phone numbers in it because he broke his phone and got a new one. I'm not sure where I stand with them regardless because I dropped out of a masters' course after I started telling people I was going back to university (and I haven't told anyone I quit yet), and they ended up meeting up with a bunch of people without me, cue all the paranoia. Called one of them yesterday and they didn't pick up, but he texted me later saying "hey man you alright?". Replied saying I was and told him I quit the masters' course and was interested in coming up to his place to visit when he had time(because we talked about this just over a month ago and he was cool with it). No reply. My brain is going crazy with anxiety.
Teriyaki Blues
Member
How often is this sugar consumed at the same type of caffeine in any form? Don't just guess, read labels. Some root beers and other "not caffeinated" sodas have caffeine (like Barq's, Sunkist Orange, and A&W Cream Soda), chocolate has caffeine, tea has caffeine, coffee obviously does, but so does "decaf", though much less. Many over the counter painkillers have caffeine. It doesn't take much caffeine at all to trigger an anxiety attack if you are prone to them.
If it turns out to be just sugar, I'd go get your blood levels checked. Could be any number of things. Unchecked diabetes or pre-diabetes can cause mood swings and irritability in some people (my spouse for one). Hypoglycemia could be a worry, as it can cause anxiety attacks.
Herbal tea can be calming, try chamomile maybe? Try a meditative or breathing exercise or play an app specifically designed for people who are having anxiety attacks. Even something as "weird" as prayer (if you're religious) or coloring something can bring you back to earth.
Today started out pretty good then kinda took a sour turn but nothing I couldn't roll with. Been doing many adult type things today and it feels good to do so. Though a thread earlier today on here really got under my skin with how some people were responding in it. I didn't lose my temper or anything but I am still simmering somewhat even after writing about it and other things in my notebook I recently started. Any other suggestions on how to release angry energy? Usually I am real good at it but today I just can't shake it loose.
Try and tell yourself a thought is just a thought. That has helped me deal with anxious thoughts before I'd become full blown anxious. It's understandable to be paranoid about certain things like that. I know I forgot one of my closest friends birthday earlier this year and I felt awful. Then again she didn't remember mine either so eh whatever. I am sure everything is fine just try and relax do some breathing exercises.
Try and tell yourself a thought is just a thought. That has helped me deal with anxious thoughts before I'd become full blown anxious. It's understandable to be paranoid about certain things like that. I know I forgot one of my closest friends birthday earlier this year and I felt awful. Then again she didn't remember mine either so eh whatever. I am sure everything is fine just try and relax do some breathing exercises.
Does anyone have any tips dealing with procrastination?
It's kind of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy... I've always had problems procrastinating but dealing with depression now makes it even worse.
I do poorly on assignments/tests and then get mad at myself for being lazy and then that reduces my self esteem. I'm really trying but... I don't know. Maybe I'm just not quite motivated enough right now.
It's kind of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy... I've always had problems procrastinating but dealing with depression now makes it even worse.
I do poorly on assignments/tests and then get mad at myself for being lazy and then that reduces my self esteem. I'm really trying but... I don't know. Maybe I'm just not quite motivated enough right now.
Pamplemousse
Member
Was it the "zero friends" thread? That thread bothered me so much. Here's this poor guy talking about how lonely and self-loathing (he called himself a monster) he is, and people here were saying "lol" at it. It was gross.
That one and another thread as well really. Just now got into it with someone on twitter over politics that I usually stay away from. I've just been a constant level of annoyed/angry today and that isn't very usual for me at least in a long time.
How About No
Member
Ah thank you. I know I consume a bit of caffeine everyday, two mugs with Coffeemate, but this is something that doesn't happen to me a lot. Last really bad time was like, May, I think I even made a thread about it cuz I was freaking out.
Last night I got a pint of B&Js, first ice cream I bought in a long while (inspired by their recent BLM statement, good peeps), but forgot I for some reason had a can of Pepsi a few hours before, sometime late evening. I really think it was the sugar, and now that I think of it, that may be why I feel that way when I leave my parents, cuz I load up on their sweet shit when I visit lol
I did actually worry about pre-diabetes and got a blood test in August, and my levels were no concern
But yeah sugar is still the devil and I need to stop
Italian Sweet Cream doe :|
- Status