so can anyone please explain the trash ass story to me? like Treat me like a 5 year old when telling it me as it makes no sense to me lol
also despite the story and wonkiness I am still enjoying the hell out of it.
Did you play the first game? If not, the basic premise is this (spoilers obvi):
Sauron is awakening and about to do some bad shit. The LOTR movies have not happened yet.
Talion (the main character) is chilling with his family when one day Sauron's army rolls up and kills them all. Instead of dying, his body is hijacked by the ghost of the Celebrimbor, who made the famous rings of power.
In the old days, Sauron tricked Celebrimbor into making all those fancy rings for him. When Celebrimbor realized Sauron was bad news, he tried to fight back but was ultimately killed. His angry elf ghost has been hovering around for thousands of years waiting for an excuse to get back at Sauron.
Now that Talion and Celebrimbor have joined forces, they go to Mordor and try to fight Sauron, who is building armies but has not quite woken up yet. This is the point of the first game.
At the end of the first game, you try to defeat Sauron's minion The Witch King. You get your ass kicked and decide the solution is to create a NEW ring of power that will rival the one that Sauron has.
Now on to the second game:
Talion and Celebrimbor make a NEW ring of power. It's just like Sauron's ring of power, but it's got blue letters on it instead of red ones and isn't super evil. Unfortunately, you run into Shelob (the big spider from LOTR), who in this game also has the power to shapeshift into a sexy lady.
Shelob rips Celebrimbor's spirit out of Talion. This is bad, because Celebrimbor's ghost is the only thing that's keeping Talion's body alive. Immediately after the elf ghost is ripped away Talion begins to die. Shelob offers to give the angry elf ghost back if you give her your sick new ring. You give her the ring. Celebrimbor is returned to you, but now he's pissy because his sick ring is in the hands of a spider lady.
Now the two of you don't have your ring but still want to fight Sauron, so you help the last enclaves of humans in Mordor fight off the Orc hordes the old fashioned way. Shelob is helping you out along the way by showing you visions of the future, but she's not really on your side either. Somewhere in between all the orc killing you are hoping to get your sick ring back from her.
I think that's the basic setup. Hope that helped. I'm not too far into this game yet.
Previously on Keeping Up With the Gondorians:
Men watch Mordor border, including Talion a blank canvas we call proto-gone-ist. Sauron (big bad guy that cosplays as Sephiroth) has orcs and other bad guys that kill men. Bad guys kill the border patrol including Talion, the wife he pressed F to kiss, and his son. Talion merges with force ghost called Celebimbo in death because reasons. Celebimbo had an etsy page in a previous age selling jewelry. Sauron commissions a whole line of rings but twists them so they're evil. Celebimbo is super bummed and isn't cool with this, so Sauron murders the wife he pressed F to kiss and his kid. Talion and Celebimbo realize they have some shit in common and start slicin' bad guy trying to get back at Sauron. Eventually they make their own bling ring to challenge Sauron.
This was funny but I know the story and I barely understood that. LOL