ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OKAY LET'S GO.
YOU KNOW, I WAS WATCHIN' THAT MINISODA GAME AGAINST THE LEAFS, AN' I SEE KADRI BARREL THROUGH AN' INJURE BACKSTROM AN' WENT FOR A HIT AGAINST ANOTHER PLAYER.
I BEEN HEARIN' THE REACTIONS EVERYWHERE, AN' I GOTTA SAY, IT MAKES ME SICK. KADRI IS A GOOD CANADIAN KID AN' A BEAUTIFUL BROWN ANGEL. YOU SEE HOW HE SKATED TOWARDS THE NET AN' CRASHED THERE ON BACKSTROM THEN LANDED? HE WAS JUST COPYIN' BOBBY ORR, GOD LOVE HIM. SO HE HIT BACKSTROM IN THE HEAD AN' INJURED HIM...HOCKEY PLAYERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TOUGH. BACKSTROM'S WEARIN' SOMETHIN' WORSE THAN A VISOR - HE'S WEARIN' A CAGE! WHAT A JOKE!
AN' THEN HE MADE ANOTHER HIT ON A PLAYER, WHICH DIDN'T LOOK DIRTY AT ALL. SO HE GOT HIT IN THE HEAD, TOO. KADRI WAS JUST FINISHIN' HIS CHECKS AN' MAKIN' SURE THAT PLAYER'S HEAD IS STILL IN THE GAME. ACCOUNTABILITY!
NOW, LET ME TELL YOU A STORY KIDS: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM WASHIN' MY HANDS, AN' I SAW KADRI IN A STALL. HE TOOK A DUMP AN' GAVE IT A CHECK AFTER TO MAKE SURE IT WAS A SOLID DUMP. HE HAD HIS DOOR OPEN BECAUSE HE AIN'T A SISSY. YOU KNOW WHO GIVES HIS DUMP A CHECK AFTER TAKIN' ONE? BOBBY ORR. I'D SEE BOBBY THROW ELBOWS IN THE TOILET ALL THE TIME. AIN'T ANYTHIN' DIRTY 'BOUT THAT.
NOW, YOU KADRI HATERS BETTER LEAVE THE KID ALONE, EH? HE'S A GOOD CANADIAN AN' A BEAUTIFUL BROWN ANGEL.