God I fucking hate the Leafs.
I especially hate how their coming to town dictates a 4 pm start just so those wankers out east can see don cherry bumble through a bunch of sad excuses for why they're getting their asses kicked by us.
EYYYY ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OKAY LET'S GO
YOU VANCOUVER PEOPLE SHOULD FEEL HONOURED FER HAVIN' THE LEAFS GRACE YER TOWN WITH THEIR GOOD ONTARIO GUYS.
LOLONGO COULD USE SOME LESSONS IN BEIN' MORE CANADIAN FROM SOME OF THESE GUYS ON THE LEAFS. LOOK AT KESSEL, GOOD CANADIAN KID JUST HAVIN' SOME FUN OUT THERE AN' SCORIN'. JAKEY GARDENER PLAYIN' DEFENCE ALRIGHT. AN' HOW 'BOUT DAT JAMEY VAN REEMSDOOK KID, TOO. GOOD CANADIANS.
AN' YER ALL LOOKIN' LIKE SISSIES WITH YER INCORRECT TIME. IT'LL BE SEVEN O'CLOCK WHEN THE GAME STARTS. FOUR O'CLOCK? DO YOU LIVE IN RUSSIA? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YA?
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, KIDS: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM WASHIN' MY HANDS, WHEN I SAW LOLONGO TAKIN' A PISS...SITTIN' DOWN! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT GUY? I SAW KESSEL PISSIN' IN A STAAL LIKE A REAL CANADIAN, AND BOY THAT BROUGHT TEARS IN MY EYES, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. AN' I ASKED HIM THE TIME, I SAID, "EY PHILLY, WHAT TIME IS IT?" HE SAID TO ME, HE SAID, "DON, IT'S SEVEN...EASTERN TIME - THE WHITE TIME." I REMEMBER WATCHIN' BOBBY ORR PEE ON A STALL MANY TIMES. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. GOD LOVE HIM. GET YER ACT TOGETHER, LOLONGO, AND SET YER CLOCKS RIGHT, VANCOUVER.