My penis can only be measured in Km. My penis is so large it has its own gravity field which solely attracts members of the opposite sex. In doing so I experience quite a bit of trouble though. You see my penis is an obelisk of such immense mass and size that only the most cavernous of caverns is capable of handling penetration by such an object. While I have frequently applied lube to it, so it may easier navigate the perilous vacuum of space found between a womans loins, it still requires a significant use of force for penetration to be achieved. In fact my penis is so massive the space vacuum around it seems to contract quite frequently. This would not be an issue, but it is because when space contracts an object in motion through that space gains a relative speedbonus. So not only is my penis massively large it also travels near the speed of C, and in doing so it only gains more mass and at some point becomes indistinguishable from the universe at large. At that point where my penis is universally large, I'm quite sure every thrust of my hips spawns a wormhole which will give birth to another universe.
This thought is quite disturbing to me and I'm sincerly scared of having to care financially for all of those universes I have long since abandoned. I know they must look up to my penis as some sort of father figure, possibly a god, but I know, I as a man, cannot provide the nurturing care they need. But yet perhaps, knowing now, that most men aren't this well endowed, I should see the purpose in my life, and thus I can surmise that my penis is my purpose.
TL;DR: If my member was included for the measurements on that scale you'd all be small.
