Guys! Guys! I think I can come up with a totally accurate reproduction of a conversation between some executives in charge of the Sneaker Bunko light novel brand at Kadokawa!
Executive A: We have a problem.
Executive B: Damn right we do. Nagaru Tanigawa isn't writing any more goddamn Haruhi books!
Executive C: So what? We have a whole library of light novel series! We're not just "the Haruhi guys"!
Executive A: Yeah? What's the most popular series we've got right now that isn't Haruhi?
Executive C: Uhhhhhh...
NouCome?
Executive A: I repeat:
We have a problem.
Executive B: Nobody cares about us these days. It's all about those Dengeki guys. They've got all the series that people are actually reading; we've got squat.
Executive C: Okay, okay, no big deal. If we can't get Tanigawa to write more Haruhi, let's just get someone else to make a spinoff series! Easy money, right?!
Executive B: Another Haruhi spinoff? Do you have any idea how many of those we've already done?
Executive A: We're not stretching out that franchise any thinner. End of.
Executive C: Uhhhh...all right, then. If we can't get more Haruhi, we should just get someone to write us another series that's
like Haruhi! Pretend it's something shiny and new, while following the exact same formula! That's a surefire recipe for success!
Executive B: Dude, the
entire light novel industry has already tried that. There are uninspired Haruhi clones on every shelf of every bookstore. Making another one now isn't going to catch anyone's attention.
Executive A: Yeah, sorry, but that idea's a dead end.
Executive C: Then, uhhhhh...how about we do the opposite? Instead of making a series that's a total copy of Haruhi, but pretending it's not...we could make a series that really
hasn't got anything to do with Haruhi, but make it look like it has! Put Haruhi's name in the title! Copy the Haruhi cover art style! Hell, we could even get Tanigawa to endorse it, he owes us that much!
Executive A: ...
Executive B: ...
Executive C: ...
Executive A: What the hell, it's worth a shot.
...
...
...
*one publishing deal later*
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...
...
Ore no Class ni Haruhi wa Inai
("There Is No Haruhi In My Class")
"Looks like Suzumiya Haruhi isn't going to show up today either." There's an empty seat at the back of the classroom. Rumour has it that there's a mysterious beautiful girl who never shows up at school. My seat is right in front of hers, but no mystery ever presents itself. Nothing that seems like it should come out of a story would ever happen to me. Yet one day, on my way home after helping my childhood friend Kasuga take the first step on the road to becoming a seiyuu, I find myself randomly invited to a meal with an anime scriptwriter called Makoto-san, and suddenly I'm surrounded by all sorts of industry pros?! Thus begins a super-miraculous tale of youth, bitter yet just slightly sweet.
I wish I was joking.