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[Kazaam]

I live in a big metropolitan city, and go to most hot spots and social events located there as well as travel to other big cities with the same success.

Maybe it's from all those hot spots. I don't know, I just cant see how looking down a stranger woman's breasts and saying "I see we ain't the only twins up in here" isn't creepy. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe you're confusing tacky with creepy. Or maybe I'm the weird one. Like this

Wow, that just sounds rude and insulting. Like there's not even a hint of humor or cleverness to it.

What would there be funny or clever about saying to a person you think their breasts look fake?

 

[nitewulf]

I don't know. I assume they just want to put me down.

look if that's you as your avatar then don't worry about it, just ignore the assholes. don't beat yourself up about it, there are a lot of bitter boys (menchildren ?) running about online (mostly virgins).

as for everything else...i'm pretty short. i never got play from Tinder. OKC got me one date which ended us making out rather nicely but since then she went on radio silence. i never got what's that about. i'm better in real life, but there are only so many nights you can go out drinking. i don't have any height hangups as my ex wife was taller and she didnt care about it at all, but i did make a mess of the marriage.

i do drive a Porsche though, and my friends suggested just putting that up as my profile and tagging:

"Riders wanted." chicks do dig the Porsche.

 

[Damerman]

Are abnormally taller women inclined to the same "I'll only date guys taller than me" mentality?

I've always wanted to date someone taller than me. Closest I got was a volleyball player my freshman year...but she was the same height (6'1)

agreed... i have a very strong attraction to tall women who carry themselves well. i hate that about myself sometimes. i'm trying to turn it into an appreciation rather than attraction.

 

[Insane Metal]

Yeh. Men mostly put me down, as I've said.

Wtf? ._.

 

[lightskintwin]

Maybe it's from all those hot spots. I don't know, I just cant see how looking down a stranger woman's breasts and saying "I see we ain't the only twins up I here" isn't creepy. Maybe you're confusing tacky with creepy. Or maybe I'm th weird one. Like this

People out in public like having a good time and tend to have a good sense of humor, and can also judge for themselves whether something is funny, insulting, or creepy. There's no hard rules to this social interaction thing, I mean besides the obvious.

What would there be funny or clever about saying to a person you don't know their breasts look fake?

I don't know, but at least if there was even a hint of humor or cleverness to it; it might've been an attempt to flirt in some way. I've heard a lot of tacky lines used successfully IRL.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

Lol this sounds like the words of a bitter person.

How did you extrapolate bitterness from that? They're not even in the same fucking galactic system.

I disagree. I believe this is a huge myth.

As men tell other men to just swipe right on every one.

Men will bang anything. The hangups come when other people know who they banged because shallowness and insecurities.

 

[Cow Mengde]

be part of organizations that are over 50% girls.

Well that doesn't sound a least bit predatory.

 

[nitewulf]

Men will bang anything.

no.

 

[Nickle]

The hangup comes from the fact that we don't want to have sex with an unattractive person.

 

[lightskintwin]

As men tell other men to just swipe right on every one.

Men will bang anything. The hangups come when other people know who they banged because shallowness and insecurities.

What are you basing this off? Perhaps this may be true of men with limited options. Men with more options can have the luxury of standards, and even amongst them not every man is into casual sex.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

This thread got weird.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

What are you basing this off? Perhaps this may be true of men with limited options. Men with more options can have the luxury of standards, and even amongst them not every man is into casual sex.

Because men have created some pretty gross and demeaning games or ideas over the years where we filter out the unattractive people but will still go along with it: hogging, jerk it before meeting, blasted with style propaganda, the fact that a lot of men seemingly can't understand women don't need to shave their legs, etc.

Men in general can be shallow and insecure with who they're seen with but behind closed doors they don't necessarily care how they get laid. If you say "I wouldn't sleep with that girl because she's not at or above my standards then I'll call bullshit.

 

[Insane Metal]

Men will bang anything. The hangups come when other people know who they banged because shallowness and insecurities.

Lol. Talk for yourself. I won't.

 

[FallingEdge]

Because men have created some pretty gross and demeaning games or ideas over the years where we filter out the unattractive people but will still go along with it: hogging, jerk it before meeting, blasted with style propaganda, the fact that a lot of men seemingly can't understand women don't need to shave their legs, etc.

Men in general can be shallow and insecure with who they're seen with but behind closed doors they don't necessarily care how they get laid. If you say "I wouldn't sleep with that girl because she's not at or above my standards then I'll call bullshit.

you bitter as fuck

 

[ViewtifulJC]

Because men have created some pretty gross and demeaning games or ideas over the years where we filter out the unattractive people but will still go along with it: hogging, jerk it before meeting, blasted with style propaganda, the fact that a lot of men seemingly can't understand women don't need to shave their legs, etc.

Men in general can be shallow and insecure with who they're seen with but behind closed doors they don't necessarily care how they get laid. If you say "I wouldn't sleep with that girl because she's not at or above my standards then I'll call bullshit.

You're a bad troll or a creepy person who believes this type of behavior is normal.

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

Because men have created some pretty gross and demeaning games or ideas over the years where we filter out the unattractive people but will still go along with it: hogging, jerk it before meeting, blasted with style propaganda, the fact that a lot of men seemingly can't understand women don't need to shave their legs, etc.

Men in general can be shallow and insecure with who they're seen with but behind closed doors they don't necessarily care how they get laid. If you say "I wouldn't sleep with that girl because she's not at or above my standards then I'll call bullshit.

I agree a lot of men can be shallow and insecure with who they're seen with (and date) but the idea that they'll fuck anything that moves is...fucked up.

 

[lightskintwin]

You're a bad troll or a creepy person who believes this type of behavior is normal.

LOL I see what you did there.

 

[AppleBlade]

Well that doesn't sound a least bit predatory.

Sorry if that sounds malicious but it's not. If you want to meet girls you have to pursue them. Some try dating sites, some try bars, both places are not ideal especially if you're short. I'm saying to enroll in ballroom dancing or go on a singles cruise (tend to have more women). Enjoy the activities, try to be friendly and definitely don't be creepy. Perhaps that seems shallow but I don't believe it to be. The person you marry is going to have such a huge impact on you and your future and I think too many young men are afraid to give themselves an advantage where possible.

 

[blame space]

Pursuit is creepy

 

[KingV]

If it's something you can't change why not own it? People are going to reject you. It's gonna happen. While on Ok Cupid the other month before I met my man, I talked to a guy on there and he said he couldn't do it because a woman who lifts weights and is stronger than him intimidates him. Oh well! The fact it's something you can't change is exactly why it shouldn't bother you. Just own it and find someone who works for you.

This is like telling black women on dating sites to just get over it that no one wants to respond to your messages. Or telling black guys who run across profiles that say "white guys only. Srry, not racist but plz respect my preferences" to just 'get over it'.

In a way, it's good advice, but it's still a pretty shitty feeling, and it's easier said than done. People are understandably annoyed that there is shit completely 100% out of their control that people judge them on. Even if it's not like a lifelong hang up, it's still annoying. I'm annoyed by it, and I've been married for 7 years!

Weightlifting is different, because if you chose to, you could stop doing it. But you don't because it's part of your identity as a person, along with whatever other shit in your life you enjoy or find enjoyable.

Being short says nothing about me as a person. It's just like eye color, skin color, or being able to grow a nice beard. It's just a low-key form of discrimination that many people find acceptable because they participate in it.

First I've heard of it. Don't men usually opine how women have lower standards and will go for an average guy as long as he's funny?

Lots of "women will go for a fat guy but a guy won't go for a fat girl" talk even on these very boards.

That might be true in general, but it's not true online. In my experience, most guys have consistent standards between meeting online or meeting in real life, (or perhaps lower than online, because the competition is stiffer) and women are the exact opposite.

Tbh, I'm not sure I agree that it's true in general, I see a about as many decent looking dudes dating less attractive women as vice versa.

The one physical trait I think almost all guys will straight up filter on is being obese. Once that BMI starts creeping past 30, life gets hard, but the cure for that is straightforward, if not simple or easy.

Heck, I know a chick that straight up has a black tooth and she still goes out regularly on Tinder dates. I know at least one pretty unattractive women that uses Tinder as a way to get free dinner because she is both broke as hell and an awful person and have never heard her complain about having no interest.

 

[How About No]

I don't give a fuck. I'm not dating a man shorter than me. You don't like it, you deal with it. Find a woman way shorter than you then or make yourself interesting enough that I want to date you. I'm 5'4 and my rule to not date any man shorter than that, which isn't common to begin with. If you're 5'8, whatever. As long as you're taller than me. Aesthetically, I prefer a man between 5'8 to 6'2.

Lol y'all shorties sort yourself out /jk

It's superficial, but let's not act like most men are interested in a woman who is taller or stronger than them.

I need a strong, Amazonian princess that will German Suplex me out of bed every morning and there is NOTHING wrong with wanting that

No it's not.

In regards to fake boobs, yeah, that's not a compliment. Fake boobs usually look...fake.

 

[sheamus]

Lol. Talk for yourself. I won't.

I'll tell you this I have at least three different friends that have told me in all honesty that

Spoiler

pussy ain't got a face

One of them have a partner but that's none of my business

 

[Subpar Spatula]

I agree a lot of men can be shallow and insecure with who they're seen with (and date) but the idea that they'll fuck anything that moves is...fucked up.

Is it? Standards are lowered almost every time someone hooks up with another person. Standards only matter in public.

 

[blame space]

If anything having a black tooth makes someone more attractive to me.

 

[lightskintwin]

Because men have created some pretty gross and demeaning games or ideas over the years where we filter out the unattractive people but will still go along with it: hogging, jerk it before meeting, blasted with style propaganda, the fact that a lot of men seemingly can't understand women don't need to shave their legs, etc.

Men in general can be shallow and insecure with who they're seen with but behind closed doors they don't necessarily care how they get laid. If you say "I wouldn't sleep with that girl because she's not at or above my standards then I'll call bullshit.

I had to look up some of those terms like hogging. Never heard of that. LOL Ok, to some extent I might agree with you. I call it putting women in boxes. We categorize women in certain boxes such as potential wifey box, side chick box, freinds with benefits box, can go out in public box, only can be seen in private box, etc... the problem is even within that framework, standards aren't thrown out.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

I had to look up some of those terms like hogging. Never heard of that. LOL Ok, to some extent I might agree with you. I call it putting women in boxes. We categorize women in certain boxes such as potential wifey box, side chick box, freinds with benefits box, can go out in public box, only can be seen in private box, etc... the problem is even within that framework, standards aren't thrown out.

Standards are always thrown out because no one really lives up to them. It's why compromise is the key to life. It's also why the stereotypical person with certain standards is almost likely to be single and moan about not finding the right one.

 

[FallingEdge]

I had to look up some of those terms like hogging. Never heard of that. LOL Ok, to some extent I might agree with you. I call it putting women in boxes. We categorize women in certain boxes such as potential wifey box, side chick box, freinds with benefits box, can go out in public box, only can be seen in private box, etc... the problem is even within that framework, standards aren't thrown out.

but those checkboxes aren't exclusive to men, it happens on both sides

 

[Sianos]

I don't know. I assume they just want to put me down.

From my limited perspective, I think what is happening to you is that the combination of your conventional attractiveness and shyness makes you seem "unapproachable" to people who don't know you - which is why you are usually only approached by the unpleasant cocky sort of fellows who try to put you down. Less confident guys consider you "out of their league" and don't flirt with you because of their own insecurities.

It sounds silly, but there are a lot of beautiful women who are single because the only people who ever have the courage ask them out are boorish assholes or insipid creeps. It's the bubbly outgoing but nonthreatening women who seem to get tons of (often unwanted) attention because they give off a vibe of "approachability". It's kind of related to how some men are afraid of women who are stronger than them.

My advice is to always remember that you're valuable, and to try to be extra proactive towards the people you are interested in. Yeah, dating is a numbers game: half the people you meet will be below average in terms of pleasantness, but with perseverance and tenacity I believe you can find someone.

 

[King Gilga]

I have short friends that pick up chicks plenty.

 

[Trojita]

The only guy I dated briefly wouldn't go out in public with me and wouldn't tell his friends who I was/didn't want me to meet anyone

WTF. I mean it's an avatar and small so it's not the best to critique, but you look pretty to me.

Even besides that it's disgusting that someone would say that about another human being, even less a person they were dating.

 

[Afrocious]

I don't consider the height preference to be similar to the race preference.

Both are biological factors that can't change, but race preferences tend to echo racist thoughts and ideas.

I mean, if someone doesn't want to date black men, then I just move on to someone who will. That's their loss.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

but those checkboxes aren't exclusive to men, it happens on both sides

In an equal and safe setting, sure, but right now in the year of our Lord 2016, men dominate the realm of being sexually forward. Very forward. So forward we dominate prostitution, dating apps, websites, and pretty much any heterosexual dating meet-up events. Have you ever been to a PoF dating meet-up at a bar? It's ALWAYS a giant sausage fest.

 

[User 479360]

Bro, hang in there. Tinder is not the "end all be all" of compatible matches. There's more out there.

..This is why we're here.


:3

Thanks bruh

I'm tempted to delete all four of my online dating apps. They make me more depressed. I had a great first date a couple of months ago (she kissed me when we were watching a movie at her place, and more than once), then got ghosted.

 

[Leeness]

In regards to fake boobs, yeah, that's not a compliment. Fake boobs usually look...fake.

apparently mine do.

WTF. I mean it's an avatar and small so it's not the best to critique, but you look pretty to me.

Even besides that it's disgusting that someone would say that about another human being, even less a person they were dating.

Those, plus that I "was just a stepping stone" and "okay for now until someone better comes alone, that will be soon".

My advice is to always remember that you're valuable, and to try to be extra proactive towards the people you are interested in. Yeah, dating is a numbers game: half the people you meet will be below average in terms of pleasantness, but with perseverance and tenacity I believe you can find someone.

I am non-valuble. That's been made clear to me by quite a few guys quite a few times. 😔

In any case, I just want to find a guy friend, so it's even more difficult. I've long given up on it and it will be a crazy random happenstance if I find someone.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Yeah, I agree with the article tbh. Tinder and all other online dating sites have been a real esteem killer and waste of time for me. I'll stick to the real world, and maybe I'll meet someone and it'll work out. But online dating has not been kind to me.

 

[KingV]

The only guy I dated briefly wouldn't go out in public with me and wouldn't tell his friends who I was/didn't want me to meet anyone

You sure he wasn't cheating on someone with you? Assuming that is your picture, I think most guys would find you to be above average in attractiveness.

 

[lightskintwin]

Standards are always thrown out because no one really lives up to them. It's why compromise is the key to life.

It depends what you mean by standards. Are we talking physical or characteristic traits or skills?

but those checkboxes aren't exclusive to men, it happens on both sides

True, but I don't think it's to the same extent.

I don't consider the height preference to be similar to the race preference.

Both are biological factors that can't change, but race preferences tend to echo racist thoughts and ideas.

I mean, if someone doesn't want to date black men, then I just move on to someone who will. That's their loss.

What's funny is hearing other men of different races including white men, complaining how their women are only into black men. LOL

 

[Cow Mengde]

BTW, I posted this in the online dating thread a few months ago. They didn't use tinder. I think they used some other dating site for the experiment. They had one good looking guy and a "regular" looking guy to compete against each other just trying to get into a conversation with these women. The results are way uglier than you could ever imagine. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY uglier.

http://my1yearexperiment.tumblr.com/post/129527329111/the-1-year-online-dating-bet

It has some pretty eye-opening stats to demonstrate. This is why I think online dating is toxic. You see a lot of people being made fun of online for their horrible messages and behavior, and they probably are shitty people, but I wonder if their already shitty personality is further poisoned by being exposed to online dating. I think online dating also tends to draw these kinds of awful people into it.

I actually tried online dating after reading that just for the heck of it. The difference is I tried it in China using a Chinese app. I got plenty of dates, but I wanted nothing to do with any of the girls. I asked them out because I was bored of them, and I was hoping maybe we might have more chemistry if we met in person. Nope. My experience is so bad and opposite of that article that I actually felt relived if a girl faded on me.

My experience is China, so probably can't be applied to that article.

 

[Llyranor]

stop worrying about things you can't change and work on things you can, like personality, hobbies, whatever. Being short is hardly the sole litmus test for not getting laid, and if you think it is, it's a large reason why you're not getting laid.

This is actually really a good point.

Yes, being short is tough. No, you can't do anything about your height. No, it's not the only reason you don't get dates at all. Yes, plenty of short guys have had success dating.

You think being short is tough? Try being a short Asian guy who doesn't look like a kpop star in the realm of online dating. Hard mode. I knew I couldn't get away with a barebones generic profile and bathroom selfies, so I made sure my profile was smart and funny, and I somehow managed to get girls messaging/liking me. Online dating is not easy, but I would overall consider it a success for me. As for those who would reject me because of my skin color or height or whatever else? They are irrelevant, simple as that - no point moping about them at all.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

It depends what you mean by standards. Are we talking physical or characteristic traits or skills?

All.

 

[blame space]

How tall does my personality have be? Or my hobbies

 

[Llyranor]

How tall does my personality have be? Or my hobbies

6'

 

[Cindi Mayweather]

This is like telling black women on dating sites to just get over it that no one wants to respond to your messages. Or telling black guys who run across profiles that say "white guys only. Srry, not racist but plz respect my preferences" to just 'get over it'.

In a way, it's good advice, but it's still a pretty shitty feeling, and it's easier said than done. People are understandably annoyed that there is shit completely 100% out of their control that people judge them on. Even if it's not like a lifelong hang up, it's still annoying. I'm annoyed by it, and I've been married for 7 years!

Weightlifting is different, because if you chose to, you could stop doing it. But you don't because it's part of your identity as a person, along with whatever other shit in your life you enjoy or find enjoyable.

Being short says nothing about me as a person. It's just like eye color, skin color, or being able to grow a nice beard. It's just a low-key form of discrimination that many people find acceptable because they participate in it.



That might be true in general, but it's not true online. In my experience, most guys have consistent standards between meeting online or meeting in real life, (or perhaps lower than online, because the competition is stiffer) and women are the exact opposite.

Tbh, I'm not sure I agree that it's true in general, I see a about as many decent looking dudes dating less attractive women as vice versa.

The one physical trait I think almost all guys will straight up filter on is being obese. Once that BMI starts creeping past 30, life gets hard, but the cure for that is straightforward, if not simple or easy.

Heck, I know a chick that straight up has a black tooth and she still goes out regularly on Tinder dates. I know at least one pretty unattractive women that uses Tinder as a way to get free dinner because she is both broke as hell and an awful person and have never heard her complain about having no interest.

Huh? We comparing being short with racism now? What oppression do you face as a short man? You need to use your tippy toes? You need to stand on a chair? Is that chair oppressing you? Does it dehumanize you? Does it justify murdering you? What we're talking about here is just a preference. But while race is a preference is dating, it's also a social thing. Someone saying "no black plz" is just another piece on the already big piece of shit mountain minorities get every day. Being short comes with no such connotation and you will have short jokes thrown at you at best.

It's such a disengenous comparison. Saying it's discrimination is silly. Would you go for a woman that's considerably taller than you?

While true it's nothing you can change its rarely a real impediment on your life unless you're like, really, really short. Otherwise it should be something you should rightfully fight through and show who really are or pursue your best self. Dating in general should make someone want to be their best to get the best catch the can get. A lot of women are shallow but I know for a fact I would go for a guy who is 5'6 if he worked out, and interesting enough for me to want to get to know him more. In fact, I have.

Maybe women are more picky online because online isn't a safe bet. In real life, I can kind of read a man's intentions. Online, I have no such safe bet. I must be absolutely picky when online dating. Why wouldn't I be? Online dating is scary and men can fuck you up. Never forget, men are still men and dating is still dating. My momma told me to never show a man where you live on a first date for a reason - you don't know him. Online brings all sorts of new and different obstacles in the way of this type of safety protocol and we are going to have to see if you're legit and safe. Also, when I was on okcupid, I had dozens of messages to sift through. Why wouldn't I be picky? I have the choice of the litter.

 

[Trojita]

I'm the perfect specimen of my species, pedigree show quality.

But that means I'm 12 inches

Spoiler

tall

 

[Kazaam]

Those, plus that I "was just a stepping stone" and "okay for now until someone better comes alone, that will be soon".

I am non-valuble. That's been made clear to me by quite a few guys quite a few times. 😔
In any case, I just want to find a guy friend, so it's even more difficult. I've long given up on it and it will be a crazy random happenstance if I find someone.

Sounds like you've had some terrible luck with your dates. Nobody should put up with that kind of shit. It's important to understand that in the situations you're describing they were the ones with the problems not you. Never underestimate your value and qualities, which I'm absolutely sure you have plenty. Seems like those fuckers managed to bring you down. You need a confidence boost... Confidence is important and healthy and also a very big plus in relationships. Find your strengths and use them to boost your confidence.

 

[Rur0ni]

Maybe women are more picky online because online isn't a safe bet. In real life, I can kind of read a man's intentions. Online, I have no such safe bet. I must be absolutely picky when online dating. Why wouldn't I be? Online dating is scary and men can fuck you up. Never forget, men are still men and dating is still dating. My momma told me to never show a man where you live on a first date for a reason - you don't know him. Online brings all sorts of new and different obstacles in the way of this type of safety protocol and we are going to have to see if you're legit and safe. Also, when I was on okcupid, I had dozens of messages to sift through. Why wouldn't I be picky? I have the choice of the litter.

Agree with all of this.

 

[NCR Redslayer]

Im 5"11 . Is that not the average height anymore?

 

[User 479360]

How tall does my personality have be? Or my hobbies

6'

Spoiler

and that's just your third leg.

 

[Not]

When they've caught up to the rest of the media destroying women's, let me know

 

[Llyranor]

Besides, even when men don't have the pick of the litter in online dating, they are still picky and will write off potential candidates for shallow reasons. They will still swipe left in seconds if someone doesn't suit their physical standard of beauty. Let's not attribute all the shallowness to women.