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Tinder is destroying men’s self-esteem (New York Post)

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Coming from a short guy's perspective (5'6"), I've gotten more shit for being short than being black
but I can't say much as I have rejected advances from skinny women.

I don't doubt it can be a hurdle for some, but a fair number of dudes seem to latch onto that as if it's the cause of all their dating woes.


The average guy doesn't really know that and is desperate to find connection, but with as much ease as possible. Tinder really answers that. Sign up is quick, no need to write a wall of text (or read a wall of text) for their personality, it finds singles in your area easier, no blocking messages behind a pay wall and can be done on the toilet. Again, tried Tinder and quickly realized it wasn't for me. Other guys are more hopeful.

But Tinder is the shallowest of connections. It's a picture. You swipe. Often quickly. I'm not sure it can even qualify as the junk food of relationship connections. By its very nature it's sure to attract people who are also going to put in an equal amount of investment, i.e. no effort. It still seems silly to me to expect anything, and if you can't get traction on it, try something else like meet up or Match, etc. Seems like guys are going in expecting easy pickings and when they don't get them, well...
 

DrBo42

Member
Then it's your profile picture.

What did you write in your bio aside from your height?
75% sarcastic
25% good natured
5% failed mathematician

Are we not supposed to go with bad jokes?

Here are my alternates for the next few days:

A: Pipe game on fleek

B: I'm your density...I mean your destiny.
 

Sunster

Member
Oh wow

What happened here

giphy.gif


there ya go

75% sarcastic
25% good natured
5% failed mathematician

Are we not supposed to go with bad jokes?

Here are my alternates for the next few days:

A: Pipe game on fleek

B: I'm your density...I mean your destiny.

What about your actual interests and stuff?
 

Roufianos

Member
After years of masturbating I've conditioned myself to be attracted to myself. So I only date girls that look like female versions of myself

Yep. I'm super picky and I honestly wish I wasn't. Unfortunately we can't chose what we're attracted to (something that people in this thread cannot seem to grasp).

Still, I've been on Tinder since October and met up with 8 women so I'm probably doing better than most people who have no clear preference.
 

Llyranor

Member
Well I don't like Men and last time I checked they are less than half the entire population of the Earth and I don't find a single one of them attractive.

There's a difference between "I am attracted to women, not men" and "I am attracted to women, except the black ones"
 
Perhaps they haven't had to yet.
Both of them are Asian, Japanese and Chinese. One's like the fucking cat lady from The Simpsons (Japanese) at this point where I don't think she's being tapped by a fucking thing. She held onto some crush she had for some fucking hot tall guy that probably pays no attention to her and last I heard she was having trouble with her parents cause she's single. The Chinese one dates regularly, can't hold onto anybody cause A) it's by choice and B) she's shallow. Her parents are also pressuring her to get married. At the same time she hates all the fake bullshit of dating, but she also refuses to be slightly more realistic with who and what she dates.
 
He can't be a racist. HE HAS BLACK FRIENDS.

It's always hilarious how many people unironically use this template of a justification without realizing how meaningless the statement actually is.

Both of them are Asian, Japanese and Chinese. One's like the fucking cat lady from The Simpsons (Japanese) at this point where I don't think she's being tapped by a fucking thing. She held onto some crush she had for some fucking hot tall guy that probably pays no attention to her and last I heard she was having trouble with her parents cause she's single. The Chinese one dates regularly, can't hold onto anybody cause A) it's by choice and B) she's shallow. Her parents are also pressuring her to get married. At the same time she hates all the fake bullshit of dating, but she also refuses to be slightly more realistic with who and what she dates.

Sounds like they need to widen their options before it's too late.
 
Yep. I'm super picky and I honestly wish I wasn't. Unfortunately we can't chose what we're attracted to (something that people in this thread cannot seem to grasp).

Still, I've been on Tinder since October and met up with 8 women so I'm probably doing better than most people who have no clear preference.

I've been on Tinder for less than a month and so far met up with three girls

And I'm 174 cm
 

Squalor

Junior Member
75% sarcastic
25% good natured
5% failed mathematician

Are we not supposed to go with bad jokes?

Here are my alternates for the next few days:

A: Pipe game on fleek

B: I'm your density...I mean your destiny.
Don't change it to "A" unless there's a picture of you smoking a pipe in your first picture, which you shouldn't do because most girls won't care about a smoker, anyway.

"B" is too cheesy and unoriginal.

The current bit is fine. I would throw in a brief sentence that's more serious and states something more clear about you after the opening joke.

Also, again, make sure your profile picture is the best picture you can find of yourself. Avoid selfies. Have at least one picture with other people. Have at least one nonstandard picture.
 

Az987

all good things
Do people make in-depth profiles for tinder?

Mine says like

California dreamin'
6'3
Gemini
Laid back
I only date olive skinned brown eyed brunettes
 
Well I don't like Men and last time I checked they are less than half the entire population of the Earth and I don't find a single one of them attractive.

You've never seen an attractive man? Ever? Like you're just so totally hetero and manly you can't even fathom saying a man has attractive qualities?

Do people make in-depth profiles for tinder?

Mine says like

California dreamin'
6'3
Gemini
Laid back
I only date olive skinned brown eyed brunettes

6'3
Accountant
Reasonably funny!
Lookin' for casual fun with cool people, order now while supplies last

people glance at these things for like 10 seconds, you're either attractive or you aint. Condense, simplify, set your intentions up front, and dont think about it too hard
 
Race determines facial features. It's not racist to not find certain races attractive as they might not have a feature set that appeals to you. I like girls with big brown eyes, black hair and olive skin. Mediterranean women basically. Do you know any Asian, black or Northern European women with that feature set? No.

Lol is this a joke? That could easily describe a light skinned black person or a tanned Asian. I know multiple people who fit that description. This is why making sweeping comments on race based appearance is so dumb. It's not true.
 

Media

Member
Okay, I'll bite. Which specific facial features common to all black women do you find unattractive? Where on the skin color chromatic scale do you define a clear line?
Felix_von_Luschan_Skin_Color_chart.svg

Haha, never seen that chart before. I look to be a 23. Does that mean I'm undatable? :p
 
You've never seen an attractive man? Ever? Like you're just so totally hetero and manly you can't even fathom saying a man has attractive qualities?

LOL Exactly. I could easily recognize physical traits a man may have that will attract other people.

See, I can't grow a beard.

Just took this pic to see what folks thought of my hair so I guess this is relevant:

You look skinnier here, than you do in your avatar.
 

DrBo42

Member
Don't change it to "A" unless there's a picture of you smoking a pipe in your first picture, which you shouldn't do because most girls won't care about a smoker, anyway.

"B" is too cheesy and unoriginal.

The current bit is fine. I would throw in a brief sentence that's more serious and states something more clear about you after the opening joke.

Also, again, make sure your profile picture is the best picture you can find of yourself. Avoid selfies. Have at least one picture with other people. Have at least one nonstandard picture.

Yeah those aren't real options. I don't know, I just don't think I match the Tinder crowd. Seems more geared to instant meet-ups and hook-ups and I'm not that level of attractive. Not an ugly guy just average. I get asked out and numbers pretty easily on OKC after a conversation so the shift is pretty crazy.
 

commish

Jason Kidd murdered my dog in cold blood!

Exactly how I feel entering this thread. What the F is going on in here?!

I can't believe someone actually used the "I'm not racist, my best friend is black" line. This thread is going places.

And I definitely agree that dating apps in general can be a hit to a guy's self esteem simply because it allows you to "hit" on so many girls at once, and get rejected so many times at once. In real life, you can only get rejected so many times in a week. Online? I can be rejected 200 times a week!

I don't think it's limited to guys though. I have some female friends who have been feeling really rejected by striking out on these apps/sites a lot. It's not that they don't get responses - all girls get a million messages/links/swipes/etc. It's that they don't get the swipes and messages from the guys they like.
 

Roufianos

Member
I see. Keeping company and spending time with black people is meaningless.

But not finding them attractive on a shallow surface level is a massive deal and enough to qualify me as a racist.

Side note - Oh no, my green eyed and blonde haired sister just walked into the room. She's so pale that her entire back is peeling from a week in Greece.

I better not talk to her as I'm clearly racist against her for not finding people of her complexion attractive.
 
Sounds like they need to widen their options before it's too late.
Not to mention the Chinese one at some point was going through some "I want to be a lesbian" phase, which I think she stopped doing, I think...I haven't asked her about that recently, kind of don't care cause it led to her being in some stupid relationships that never even worked. Japanese one just seems romantically dead or something with a bug up her ass whenever dating is mentioned. We don't speak really due to said bug up her ass cause she snapped at me when I asked her if she wanted to hang out.
 

-Plasma Reus-

Service guarantees member status
I'm 30 to 32 on that skin chart.
Some of those numbers are lies though. I refuse to believe some of those colours are real.
Racism? You have to be joking.

I don't find pale, blue eyed and blonde haired girls attractive at all. I guess that makes me racist against my own people seeing as I have a grandma and aunts who fit that description perfectly.

I don't find black women attractive either. I guess that makes me racist even though my two best friends are black males and I have a tonne of black female friends.

Race determines facial features. It's not racist to not find certain races attractive as they might not have a feature set that appeals to you. I like girls with big brown eyes, black hair and olive skin. Mediterranean women basically. Do you know any Asian, black or Northern European women with that feature set? No.

You're not a racist, but you mean to tell me you wouldn't date this beautiful person?
Skin colour means nothing. People look different. And no, this isn't a mixed person. This is 100% black african.
 
I see. Keeping company and spending time with black people is meaningless.

But not finding them attractive on a shallow surface level is a massive deal and enough to qualify me as a racist.

Side note - Oh no, my green eyed and blonde haired sister just walked into the room. She's so pale that her entire back is peeling from a week in Greece.

I better not talk to her as I'm clearly racist against her for not finding people of her complexion attractive.

amxn7Y3.jpg
 

ThisGuy

Member
I genuinely don't understand the preference thing. A beautiful person is a beautiful person.

Maybe I'm just a dog out for all he can get.


Skin colour means nothing. People look different. And no, this isn't a mixed person. This is 100% black african.
Shiiiiit, I'd become a dad real quick.
 

Sunster

Member
I see. Keeping company and spending time with black people is meaningless.

But not finding them attractive on a shallow surface level is a massive deal and enough to qualify me as a racist.

Side note - Oh no, my green eyed and blonde haired sister just walked into the room. She's so pale that her entire back is peeling from a week in Greece.

I better not talk to her as I'm clearly racist against her for not finding people of her complexion attractive.

Oh no..
 
I see. Keeping company and spending time with black people is meaningless.

But not finding them attractive on a shallow surface level is a massive deal and enough to qualify me as a racist.

Side note - Oh no, my green eyed and blonde haired sister just walked into the room. She's so pale that her entire back is peeling from a week in Greece.

I better not talk to her as I'm clearly racist against her for not finding people of her complexion attractive.

Post a pic so we can see what all these black women are missing out on. LOL

You're not a racist, but you mean to tell me you wouldn't date this beautiful person?

Skin colour means nothing. People look different. And no, this isn't a mixed person. This is 100% black african.

She looks Eritrean.
 
Racism? You have to be joking.

I don't find pale, blue eyed and blonde haired girls attractive at all. I guess that makes me racist against my own people seeing as I have a grandma and aunts who fit that description perfectly.

I don't find black women attractive either. I guess that makes me racist even though my two best friends are black males and I have a tonne of black female friends.

Race determines facial features. It's not racist to not find certain races attractive as they might not have a feature set that appeals to you. I like girls with big brown eyes, black hair and olive skin. Mediterranean women basically. Do you know any Asian, black or Northern European women with that feature set? No.
Go find some pics of either Kapri Styles or Nathalie Emmanuel and tell me black women aren't attractive, I fucking dare you.
 

harSon

Banned
I matched up with someone I lowkey recognized from Chaturbate on Tuesday. Conversation went well and she's going to help me with my Relay for Life fundraiser on Saturday Lol. It's going to be awkward as fuck on my end, but I'm all about meeting interesting people.... so we'll see how it goes.
 

Peterthumpa

Member
Oh my fucking god

Really bruh, it only took a post to go there?

Uh, I don't get it? 80% of her images on Google search have a light skin tone. Jesus.
I like black women and find then attractive, a lot actually. Just saying that I can't see a black women here.

Chill buddy, we're not at war.
 
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