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Tinder is destroying men’s self-esteem (New York Post)

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Recently met a girl from Tinder, holy shit the things religion can do to people, she had to call her parents every 20 minutes, (literally had a timer), is not allowed to swear, at the age of fucking 20, doesn't believe that she should date anyone other than a Christian, doesn't believe in dating without the explicit intent to get married. Just found out today that she's apparently a trump supporter too.I dread to hear yet another person try to justify supporting a racist and fascist.

Sounds like a good basis for a short story. McSweeney's, etc. Chop chop, get writing.
 
Recently met a girl from Tinder, holy shit the things religion can do to people, she had to call her parents every 20 minutes, (literally had a timer), is not allowed to swear, at the age of fucking 20, doesn't believe that she should date anyone other than a Christian, doesn't believe in dating without the explicit intent to get married. Just found out today that she's apparently a trump supporter too.I dread to hear yet another person try to justify supporting a racist and fascist.

Stripper straight up dumped me, after finding out I was an atheist. LOL
 

AnAnole

Member
and your post proves why women have shitty self-esteem

Did I say she was ugly? I'm sure she's attractive. I'd probably find her attractive, in fact. But she probably isn't more than a 7 or 8, in all likelihood, yet she finds only 1 of the 25 hottest men attractive. In fact, she claims many of them are average. Sure, we can say there are plenty of other guys who should be on the list, but In what world are they average? All the women and all the men posted on the past 2 pages are very attractive. I'm just pointing out the women (not all women) often have almost impossible standards, regardless of how attractive they are. Is this innate or is it the result of intense media exposure where they can fixate on some dude they will never come across in real life?

Luckily I'm Michael Hall's doppleganger so any women who was obsessed with him finds me incredibly attractive.
 

eot

Banned
Why am I (almost) only attracted to long-haired men? Why am I far more attracted to stubble or (short) beards vs clean shaven (boring)? Is it society? Surely not, that look has never been trendy (even beards, which are coming back in style, certainly weren't in my formative hormonal teenage years :p plus I hate the hipster beard look with a passion anyway). I don't know why this guy is super hot and yet this guy does nothing for me*. It's just how it is.

*
Yes, it's the same guy xD

Well yeah, that guy looks way better in the first picture.

The difference between normal and big condoms is measured in millimeters but normal condoms still really hurt somehow.

The stated width is half the circumference, so if you go up 4mm it's actually 8mm. Also, because they aren't supposed to stretch that much, going up one size can reduce the fractional stretch by quite a lot (and the stretching is proportional to the force). So let's say it stretches by 16mm and you increase the cricumf. by 8mm then it's obviously only stretching half (slightly less, fractionally) as much and that's going to be very noticeable.
 

ThisGuy

Member
Shaq is pretty average sized.

Oo04a.gif



Porn star average right?

I dunno, the man is huge. I mean freaking huge.

Screen_Shot_2014-02-26_at_9.55.37_AM.png

0fNEdIM.jpg

425_kevin_hart_shaq.jpg
 
Did I say she was ugly? I'm sure she's attractive. I'd probably find her attractive, in fact. But she probably isn't more than a 7 or 8, in all likelihood, yet she finds only 1 of the 25 hottest men attractive. In fact, she claims many of them are average. Sure, we can say there are plenty of other guys who should be on the list, but In what world are they average? All the women and all the men posted on the past 2 pages are very attractive. I'm just pointing out the women (not all women) often have almost impossible standards, regardless of how attractive they are. Is this innate or is it the result of intense media exposure where they can fixate on some dude they will never come across in real life?

Am I supposed to be attracted to every guy society says is hot? I'm not seeing anything fine about most of those guys. How is Ryan Gosling fine? For my tastes he's average. I'm pretty good looking and I don't see the issue. I said before that white men generally don't work for me physically. The post was a good way to show examples of the supposed hottest white guys and they nothing for me. They're not ugly by any means, but hot? I disagree. Whether this makes men have low self esteem isn't my problem.
 
I'm not reading all 20 pages of this, but y'all wouldn't last 10 minutes on the gay apps if Tinder is messing with your self esteem.

I would. I switched to men for fun on Tinder, and holy shit I was getting matches literally every couple of minutes. Some of these guys were damn good looking, too.

Then came the "want dick pics lol" messages.
 
What the hell

Jesus loves the exotic dancers.

Oo04a.gif



Porn star average right?

I dunno, the man is huge. I mean freaking huge.

Regular man size average like 6 inches.

Did I say she was ugly? I'm sure she's attractive. I'd probably find her attractive, in fact. But she probably isn't more than a 7 or 8, in all likelihood, yet she finds only 1 of the 25 hottest men attractive. In fact, she claims many of them are average. Sure, we can say there are plenty of other guys who should be on the list, but In what world are they average? All the women and all the men posted on the past 2 pages are very attractive. I'm just pointing out the women (not all women) often have almost impossible standards, regardless of how attractive they are. Is this innate or is it the result of intense media exposure where they can fixate on some dude they will never come across in real life?

Luckily I'm Michael Hall's doppleganger so any women who was obsessed with him finds me incredibly attractive.

Don't even worry about it, that's why I said rating celebreties is meaningless, because IMO people become 100 times more picky online and it's not based in any reality. I remember dudes on another forum posting pictures of models and celebrities, nitpicking what they don't like, how he wouldn't fuck and why, why she's not that hot, etc... Yet if you saw these guys IRL they were in no position at all to be that choosy and would be lucky to even have a girl remotely resemble these women online. It's like your girlfriend is this below average girl from down the street, but you wouldn't date this model/celebrity because you ain't into some nitpicky physical attribute. It's hilarious. LOL
 
What's up with these generalizations, there are plenty of men and women that have high self esteems. Even when I was a dateless, nerd in highschool, i didn't suffer from self esteem issues. Matter of fact, I don't even know if I've even been around somebody that had low self esteem.
it's very easy to hide, I should know
 
Could you imagine what this thread would be alike if a guy was talking about how attractive and selective he is whist rating attractive female celebrities.
 
Am I supposed to be attracted to every guy society says is hot? I'm not seeing anything fine about most of those guys. How is Ryan Gosling fine? For my tastes he's average. I'm pretty good looking and I don't see the issue. I said before that white men generally don't work for me physically. The post was a good way to show examples of the supposed hottest white guys and they nothing for me. They're not ugly by any means, but hot? I disagree. Whether this makes men have low self esteem isn't my problem.

But let's keep it real, how many white guys that look like Ryan Gosling are even checking for somebody that looks like you. So it's a moot point.
 
Jesus loves the exotic dancers.



Regular man size average like 6 inches.



Don't even worry about it, that's why I said rating celebreties is meaningless, because IMO people become 100 times more picky online and it's not based in any reality. I remember dudes on another forum posting pictures of models and celebrities, nitpicking what they don't like, how he wouldn't fuck and why, why she's not that hot, etc... Yet if you saw these guys IRL they were in no position at all to be that choosy and would be lucky to even have a girl remotely resemble these women online. It's like your girlfriend is this below average girl from down the street, but you wouldn't date this model/celebrity because you ain't into some nitpicky physical attribute. It's hilarious. LOL

Eh. Lots of assumptions on your part. Yet if I saw them in real life I'd be in no position? You think if I saw Ryan Gosling or Johnny Depp with his nasty ass pedo stache I'd be drooling for that dick? Nah. I'm being furiously honest with myself. And look pretty great. I can rate who I want. It's not like I'm a neckbeard. Just because they're men of (some) influence, doesn't mean I'd fall heads over heels irl based on their looks alone. Like I said before, it don't work like that.

But let's keep it real, how many white guys that look like Ryan Gosling are even checking for somebody that looks like you. So it's a moot point.

Thankfully they're sparing me the time so I can say no. Why you mad?
 

Captcha

Member

If you thought getting flaked on or ignored is bad on Tinder, it's even worse on gay apps. Getting someone to actually meet up is hard work. Lord help you if they're closeted. My favorite is dudes basically only looking for jerk-off material and that's the only interaction you're gonna get out of them. I picked up on this quick and stopped with nudes.

I've also had completely unsolicited rants on how I was ugly. Like, never spoke to the person in my life. I don't think I'm ugly at all so this was out of left field.

Unchangeable physical traits are also brought up pretty frequently. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've seen "NO BLACKS/ASIANS." Especially Asians to the point I legit feel bad for gay Asian dudes.

I would. I switched to men for fun on Tinder, and holy shit I was getting matches literally every couple of minutes. Some of these guys were damn good looking, too.

Then came the "want dick pics lol" messages.

A lot of them would be done with you once they (hypothetically) got nudes from you.

Women are way more selective than men. Not sure why GAF can't admit it.

This is only partly true. It is hella easy to get laid as a gay dude as long as you stick to your "league." You're almost never gonna see some fat dude with some beefcake. Your personality does not matter. Seeing a beauty imbalance in a relationship is way more common for straight couples.

There is a pretty well documented phenomena of the "boyfriend twin" in the gay world. I was hearing "be what you want to date" when I first started dipping my toes into the gay world.
 
Eh. Lots of assumptions on your part. Yet if I saw them in real life I'd be in no position? You think if I saw Ryan Gosling or Johnny Depp with his nasty ass pedo stache I'd be drooling for that dick? Nah. I'm being furiously honest with myself. And look pretty great. I can rate who I want. It's not like I'm a neckbeard. Just because they're men of (some) influence, doesn't mean I'd fall heads over heels irl based on their looks alone. Like I said before, it don't work like that.

Thankfully they're sparing me the time so I can say no. Why you mad?

I'm not mad, it was just an honest reply steeped in reality. You're considering a scenario that would never happen tho, so what's the point?
 
I'm not mad, it was just an honest reply steeped in reality. You're considering a scenario that would never happen tho, so what's the point?

How am I considering a scenario that would ever happen? I never said anything about meeting any of these dudes. The entire premise was rating hot people to show just how selective my preferences are. The easiest way to rate people who are considered hot is obviously through celebrities. You are the person who brought up meeting any of these dudes. Nigga, are you reading what you're even writing?

Things I've learned from this thread:

1. Women aren't allowed to have preferences even though men have preferences they spout every damn day.

2. If you prefer a tall man you're being shallow.

3. Men cannot handle beng treated how they treat women. Fact.

4. If you are a woman who doesn't think a supposedly fine dude is all that, you're obviously not in his league to begin with.

5. Men think they are owed women even if they don't do jack shit to try to get an edge and appear more attractive. Not getting laid? It's obviously because I'm short and not because I'm an out of shape fuck boy.
 

BeesEight

Member
Honestly, it is a lot easier to get laid as a gay guy but it doesn't really make it easy either. Especially if you're even being slightly intelligent about it. There's a whole slew of pitfalls to avoid on the hook up apps (guys using fake pics or out of date ones) not to mention basic health concerns (a surprising number of guys still seem more than ready to have one night stands without any protection or asking about past histories).

Sure, if your goal is to have sex with a fifty year old overweight guy then yeah I'm sure it beats being ignored on Tinder. But getting swipes or whatnot (or nudes for that matter) doesn't mean anything. If you want to meet up or even hook up with a half decent guy it probably starts getting closer to that Tinder experience.
 

Captcha

Member
Honestly, it is a lot easier to get laid as a gay guy but it doesn't really make it easy either. Especially if you're even being slightly intelligent about it. There's a whole slew of pitfalls to avoid on the hook up apps (guys using fake pics or out of date ones) not to mention basic health concerns (a surprising number of guys still seem more than ready to have one night stands without any protection or asking about past histories).

Sure, if your goal is to have sex with a fifty year old overweight guy then yeah I'm sure it beats being ignored on Tinder. But getting swipes or whatnot (or nudes for that matter) doesn't mean anything. If you want to meet up or even hook up with a half decent guy it probably starts getting closer to that Tinder experience.

Oh man, I remember the first time I got hit on by a dude old enough to be grandpa. He looked like a taller, Russian Danny Devito. He was handsy and actually got tossed out of the bar we were at.
 

Morrigan Stark

Arrogant Smirk
Let me guess: are you into rock and/or metal
Yep. I don't think it's the source, though. I've been attracted to long-haired guys before getting into metal. Or roughly around the same time? I think one of my earliest crush was Madmartigan from Willow. :D (And no, the looks of the guys isn't what got me into the music to begin with lol)
Meanwhile the girls at school all swooned over New Kids on the Block (and later, Backstreet Boys) and I went "ewwwww NOPE". :p

I bet you aren't even that attractive. This is why men have shitty self esteem.
Woooooooooow.

Funny though, that's not only a dickish thing to say but it's also irrelevant. Ugly or unattractive people (not saying Cindi is, she says she's not and I believe her) are allowed to think someone is unattractive. If they keep aiming for someone "out of their league", well, that's their problem, but yeah.

FWIW I don't think any of those men are hot either. Conventionally attractive/good-looking, sure, but they do nothing for me.

Well yeah, that guy looks way better in the first picture.
Right?!

Also, hot, boring (same guy), hot, boring (same guy)... I am beyond help. xD

Did I say she was ugly? I'm sure she's attractive. I'd probably find her attractive, in fact. But she probably isn't more than a 7 or 8, in all likelihood, yet she finds only 1 of the 25 hottest men attractive. In fact, she claims many of them are average.
So? That's her taste. You can't control what you find attractive. And besides, you don't think that average, ordinary looking women see men saying "oh, <gorgeous popular actress> isn't that attractive, look at those sharp knees" affect their self-esteem? The usual thought is "if they think she is ugly, I must be some hideous beast".


3. Men cannot handle beng treated how they treat women. Fact.
Yep yep yep. This was posted on page 1 by Transhuman, really. But this thread has really highlighted the fact.
 
How am I considering a scenario that would ever happen? I never said anything about meeting any of these dudes. The entire premise was rating hot people to show just how selective my preferences are.
But my point is these guys your rating are just as selective, if not more; have wider options, and you wouldn't even be on their radar yet alone notice you. Their selective preferences would TRUMP yours.

The easiest way to rate people who are considered hot is obviously through celebrities. You are the person who brought up meeting any of these dudes. Nigga, are you reading what you're even writing?
But what would these guys rate you? Which is the reality I'm trying to show in how futile you're rating system is. Like I can get online and list all the "supposedly" Hot chicks I wouldn't even consider due to *insert physical attribute*, but in the real world; the women that look like that wouldn't even consider me. So it's utterly pointless.

Things I've learned from this thread:

1. Women aren't allowed to have preferences even though men have preferences they spout every damn day.

2. If you prefer a tall man you're being shallow.

3. Men cannot handle how they treat women. Fact.

4. If you are a woman who doesn't think a supposedly fine dude is all that, you're obviously not in his league to begin with.

5. Men think they are owed women even if they don't do jack shit to try to get an edge and appear more attractive. Not getting laid? It's obviously because I'm short and not because I'm an out of shape fuck boy.

This has nothing to do with you being a woman, and it'd be the same response I'd have if you were a man.
 

Morrigan Stark

Arrogant Smirk
But my point is these guys your rating are just as selective, if not more; have wider options, and you wouldn't even be on their radar yet alone notice you. Their selective preferences would TRUMP yours.

But what would these guys rate you? Which is the reality I'm trying to show in how futile you're rating system is.
????

Why would she care about how they'd rate her? She doesn't think they're attractive, so even if they thought she were not attractive she... would... not... CARE

Your advice to "have wider options" would only apply if she were looking for a date to begin with, and was struggling to find one, but she's not. So... :S
 
????

Why would she care about how they'd rate her? She doesn't think they're attractive, so even if they thought she were not attractive she... would... not... CARE

Your advice to "have wider options" would only apply if she were looking for a date to begin with, and was struggling to find one, but she's not. So... :S

My point is it's easy to be not into something when they already weren't into you. Let guys that look like Ryan Gosling start hollaing at her on the reg, and I'd bet she'd sing a different tune.

I've seen people do this all the time.
 
Why do I need wider options? We're not talking about dating. We were talking how you rate people, instinctly, on a physical scale. I don't need any options. My bf (6'5 black ex-army officer btw) is moving in with me next week. When I was on OKC, I had over 20 messages before the end of the first day. Ryan Gosling may not ask me out, but I don't give a fuck. I know I'm all that.
 

Oblivion

Fetishing muscular manly men in skintight hosery
I'm a grower. I mean if I'm naked and about to have sex I'm already hard. If I'm showering with a girl after sex I'm still half hard. I mean there's a sexy woman all wet and soapy.

It's a different story when you're already with a woman and are about to get it on. I mean to all the women who look at guys at the beach in speedos and such.
 

Makai

Member
I am pretty sure height is universally considered attractive. It can't just be me or supermodels wouldn't be taller than half of you guys.
 
Why do I need wider options? We're not talking about dating. We were talking how you rate people, instinctly, on a physical scale. I don't need any options. My bf (6'5 black ex-army officer btw) is moving in with me next week. When I was on OKC, I had over 20 messages before the end of the first day. Ryan Gosling may not ask me out, but I don't give a fuck. I know I'm all that.

Long as you know it, that's all that counts.

BTW, a woman getting messages from thirsty ass dudes on an app doesn't mean much. Dudes would holla at a homeless girl on the corner, if they thought she was the least bit cute.
 

Leeness

Member
BTW, a woman getting messages from thirsty ass dudes on an app doesn't mean much. Dudes would holla at a homeless girl on the corner, if they thought she was the least bit cute.

And besides, you don't think that average, ordinary looking women see men saying "oh, <gorgeous popular actress> isn't that attractive, look at those sharp knees" affect their self-esteem? The usual thought is "if they think she is ugly, I must be some hideous beast".

Same principle. &#128546;
 

Damerman

Member
Long as you know it, that's all that counts.

BTW, a woman getting messages from thirsty ass dudes on an app doesn't mean much. Dudes would holla at a homeless girl on the corner, if they thought she was the least bit cute.

feels like you are trying to wrestle with her confidence rather than the points she is making.

i just think it's weird that you keep shooting down anything that comes off as a confident comment.
 
feels like you are trying to wrestle with her confidence rather than the points she is making.

i just think it's weird that you keep shooting down anything that comes off as a confident comment.

How can I wrestle with her confidence? She knows she's all that. So much so she's turning down dudes that look like Ryan Gosling down all the time and gets 20 messages a day on OKCupid.

Also this:
Could you imagine what this thread would be alike if a guy was talking about how attractive and selective he is whist rating attractive female celebrities.
 

Neoweee

Member
Plenty of Fish is much better anyway... I've got 3 numbers on that versus 0 on Tinder...

And Coffee Meets Bagle stomps all. Like, 8 dates in three weeks, off of almost no effort other than basic texting skills.

CMB > OKC > Bumble > POF > smoldering bag of human shit > Tinder > Match
 

Saganator

Member
It's a different story when you're already with a woman and are about to get it on. I mean to all the women who look at guys at the beach in speedos and such.

As a grower, I know not to wear speedos :) Not that I would otherwise. Hairy man thighs are fucking gross.
 
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