"Miracle! The Mysterious New Hero"
We begin with...why the second Bleach opening! D-tecnoLife by UVERworld! Watch it in all its foreign subtitled lousy video quality
here.
Oh look at all these bad asses here...who won't be appearing in this episode, it's Karakura Town time, baby.
Yuzu and Karin are in the middle of a mumbling crowd.
Sakura Karin walks off and Yuzu follows after. Yuzu explains that there have been many incidents like this, UFO sightings, poltergeist reports and weirdos lately and Karin looks to the spirits in the sky and blames them. Yuzu still can't see them and Karin thinks it is better that way. Some hollows are circling above when a light flashes in the middle of them.
It's a cat falling out of the sky! It lands right on Yuzu's face! Karin is LEGIT SHOOK. The hollows descend toward the sisters! Karin gets her soccer ball ready itching for a fight while Yuzu flails around with a cat stuck to her face. Let's get this party started!
STARLIGHT KICK! That'll show them. Yuzu holds up the cat to Karin and thinks it kinda looks like Itsygo....I dunno. Karin wonders if there is something wrong with this cat and Yuzu has a strange feeling that she's seen it before. That cat begins to meow and Yuzu listens carefully, apparently following along. Karin asks what he said and Yuzu translates that he is hungry. Is she for real?
Really for real, a woman's intuition. Karin wants to know if she remembers where she saw this cat before. Yuzu has no clue. Let's go buy cat food as the two flying hollows silently land behind them...and merge into one big ass hollow!
BLEACH 33 Baby! I wonder how many people reading this know where this is going.
It's the two kids at the guy with the hat's shop! Hopefully they'll mention them by name so I don't have to look it up. The boy is complaining about having to clean up since it's pointless, no one ever comes by this shop. The girl doesn't think that's true and wonders how he could say such a thing. The boy wants to know how many customers they've had this month and while the girl is thinking he starts giving her double noogies, what a heel. A random hollow lands on their roof and both of them sense it. The girl goes into autistic mode and spin kicks it, disintegrating it. Better not tell the Soul Society goons. Disposal complete. The boy notes that since "Old Carrot Top" left there have been a lot more hollows.
He spies on hat guy who is worried he hasn't been getting enough exercise lately and ponders if he has put on a little weight. Glasses+Apron guy says he has the cure, Ginko-below-the-belt, a diet supplement, he got it on the grasshopper shopping network. Clog dude is skeptical but thinks it could work out of politeness, but he doesn't believe in quick fixes. Glass guy says he is living proof and pours out a bunch gobbling it down. The girl calls the boy Jinta and Jinta says it is time to get rid of the hollows for the sake of the town so the two are going to amscray.
Meanwhile Karin thinks there is something wrong with this pussy. The cat meows at the accusation and Yuzu wonders why. Karin has no answer so they continue on. Yuzu says there is nothing wrong with Cammie. It's his name, it's short for Camel because it is the same color as her camel colored underwear. You for real? Is this car for real that's parked in front of their house? It's huge! Suddenly the door opens...
THE SPIRITS...ARE ALWAYS...WITH YOU! Karin is shook and the cat is with her but Yuzu knows what's up, it's Don Kanonji! He trips immediately be he recovers quickly, apologizing for startling them. He indentifies them as "the kid's family" and says that these beautiful ladies must be related to his number one pupil, Itsygo. Yuzu is impressed, her big brother is his number one pupil. He had a day off and came here incognito to hang out. He doesn't see him anywhere as Yuzu flips out the entire time. Karin doesn't buy him being incognito and Yuzu says that he isn't home right now. OH...MY GOODNESS! Karin tells him to scram but both of them notice two more flying hollows. He tells the children to stand back as he charges them with his staff, missing wildly. Yuzu asks her sister what those things were and Karin asks if she can actually see them. She can!
Kanonji makes a
Spirit Bomb GOLDEN CANONBALL. The hollow dodges easily and four more of them chase him away, eventually flying off with him. Jinta knocks them out of the sky with his ogre club. Legendary Red Bat! They fall out of the sky. Don asks if Yuzu is okay and a crowd assembles. Those girls are so lucky to be saved by Don Kanonji WHAHAHAHAHA. Their dad invites him for dinner but Don grabs the girls under his arm and runs off, thanking Jinta on the way through the crowd and asking them to follow.
Karin wants to know who these two are. Jinta, who will be batting cleanup in the majors one day. Ururu (like I could have remembered that!!!) bows as she answers. Yuzu bows in kind giving her full name. Kurosaki, they must know carrot top! They...sort of know their brother. Anyways the two are convinced that the cat is luring the hollows here with its spiritual power. Karin now knows the name of the spirits that have been plaguing her. Jinta says it is for the best if that cat's spirit would pass on peacefully. Yuzu doesn't get it, she ain't holding a ghost! Nope, totally a ghost cat. Accept it Yuzu, the cat is dead. She can't deal and begins to bawl her eyes out. Jinta gives them the business; they are carrot top's sisters and they can't figure out what is going on? Don thinks this is wonderful. Talented kids, though they pale compared to his own, they are going to be his pupils.
No way, Jose. Broken glasses and a bloody nose. This doesn't stop him, he likes his pupils to be feisty. Karin threatens him with more violence. He isn't convinced and asks to see their powers before he can help them. Jinta and Karin both want to prove themselves and start fighting immediately, even as they follow him. Yuzu and Urururururu talk about the cat; it needs protection. Ururu offers to ask her boss for help...but they are out to lunch. Yuzu will wait until Kisuke comes back. Ururu looks sad and Yuzu cheers her up when suddenly...
Hollows out the ying yang. They run inside and Ururu shoves Yuzu into the alley, grabbing her bundle on the way out. The cat is worried as they run off. Meanwhile Karin and Jinta are waiting around for the world's premiere spiritualist. The kids prepare to attack him but he stops them. He's not the enemy, heroes don't fight heroes. He's making a special team of kids with powers who share his vision in keeping the peace. The Karakura Super Heroes!
Entertainment is youth orientated these days...the kids aren't impressed but he says they can shoot to the top. Since they are the first two they are lucky...the Red position is still open. RED? and a TV spot? They are down with that. Jinta claims red right away but Karin ain't having that. Shut yer pie hole, no girl can be red. Aww shit. Before they can throw down Don hears some hollows and their first mission is upon them. Bad spirits are after your sister!
Yuzu is cornered on the top of a roof! Ten hollows or more are coming for her when the cat throws up a barrier! We Inuyasha now! The merged hollow from the beginning is leading the charge. Don Kanonji smells the bad spirits and shoots his Golden Ball...missing again. Jinta bats the spirit ball into the back of the hollows head, disintergrating it. They do their group introduction...Karakura Red...Karin Kurosaki! And the real Karakura Red, Jinta Harakari! The two predictably fight. Don Kanonji proposes a test; whomever does the best in the field today is Red. The two immediately calm down.
Don Kanonji uses his super spirit javelin/extendable pruning shears as the hollows fly off. Karin grabs it from him and waves it at the flying hollows...ineffectually. Don likes her spirit and gives the Javelin to her. Jinta, number 55 is batting cleanup, also impressing Don. They fly after Yuzu as someone shoots down the Hollows. It's Ururu! Another red candidate. Only the NUMER ONE performer deserves red and Jinta and Karin go at it immediately. Karin spots a soccer ball and knockes one out...but many more land and form one giant hollow! "The bad spirit King!" It's a job for the Karakura super heroes. Kanonji advises a strategery meeting but they don't have time for that. The giant hollow knocks Yuzu and the cat off of the building! Oh no!
Cammie transforms as NUMBER ONE busts out of nowhere. Is it an ally? It saves Yuzu! Their combined desire for justice called for a miracle! The spirit lion and the hollow go after each other on the side of the building, with the lion winning the exchange. It's a robot sent from heaven, Karakura Sonic Lion! Flare Blitz knocks both of them off of the roof. Don Kanonji orders the team to join the Sonic Lion.
Karakura Attack Formation! Karakura Gold Canon times two! Jinta knocks them both into the hollow while Karin goes for an ULTRA STARLIGHT KICK, sending it into the air. Ururu's turn with her full bazooka blast. MISSION COMPLETE! Karin wonders if that really worked as the lion watches them from the roof and transforms into a ball of energy and disappears. Yuzu remembers meeting Cammie before, she gave him her lunch one rainy day and it tried to follow her...and got run over by mistake. She thought he'd hold a grudge against her but nope. Karin is glad to her sister safe as Yuzu wakes up on a bench. Don explains that the Sonic Lion appeared because of their extreme justice and saved her life! Karin agrees but Jinta doesn't see him anywhere. Cammie meows to Yuzu and it'll be their little secret as the cat departs for the afterlife. Jinta is glad that the cat was able to pass on and yes Karin, that cat was a ghost you dummy. Ururu thinks that it must have come to terms with any regrets it had and Yuzu breaks down crying. She couldn't do anything for Cammie but Jinta thinks that Cammie was just trying to say thanks right now as Karin hugs her sister.
Karakura Pink, Ururu Tsumugiya. Karakura Red, Karin Kurosaki. Karakura Red, Jinta Hanakari. Karakura Gold...natural born hero/uber producer/director Don Kanonji!
They quit to end the episode!
NEXT EPISODE: "The Reviving Lion" 
