Guys, if I'm ever murdered, please find my murderer and kill him. Also kill his family, friends, neighbours and half the men, women and children on his street. The other half I want you to slowly poison so that they suffer but don't die, but their next generation of children will be born all fucked up. Also I want you to tear down their houses and dig up their gardens, but just leave the debris lying about the place so that nobody can attempt to rebuild there.
Promise you will do this for me, as my dying wish, because I am a red-faced 50-something white, English man.