Girlfriend emotionally cheated on me

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ChefRamsay said:
OP's ex already was a single mom. Her kid grew up in a broken home with a dad who cheated constantly (according to the OP). Now mom's a cheater too, bawling her eyes out at night because she's single once again. I'm sure this kid has a bright future!

Now another kid is about to go through the separation of their parents thanks to the suggestion that OP drop a nuke on the wife that her husband "emotionally cheats".

So sad that kids are involved in this. I know that GAF loves a good trainwreck thread but if this info was made known in the first post, I really doubt OP would have gotten the encouragement that he did.

Dump her? Absolutely. But "reveal the truth" to the wife? Where the truth is zero sexual contact, but rather personal, intimate conversations between two people who live in different countries? When a kid is involved, "beyond a reasonable doubt" needs to be the standard. In my humble and meaningless opinion, this thread has encouraged truly disgusting, immature actions that have changed a child's life for the worst.
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I'm not sure what you mean by "beyond a reasonable doubt." Sex is not the only way to cheat. If you were right then the wife wouldn't have cared.
 
For all we know the reveal of the emotional cheating will be the catalyst for the couple to seek counseling and repair their marriage; living a healthy life after that.

Having a father who spends his marriage to your mother looking for flings can be an emotionally damaging experience if he's never "caught" as much or more as if he is. People living a lie about their relationships sometimes live other lies as well.. like the lie that they are "at least a good parent."

Super easy to fail as a parent when you are in an unhappy marraige; onus for child bearers should be to have happy and healthy relationships, not to simply stay together with one person.
 
Last page intrigued me so I gave it a whirl from the start and was that ever one hell of a ride.

You're a goddamn hero Revoh.

I feel pretty safe calling this one thread of the year, 2014.
 
Holy this thread went places, can't believe this is 40 pages and that I ignored it up until now. Mandrake please come and save me
 
franconp said:
OP said he is from Paraguay.

From the text i think husband is from Argentina.
Click to expand...

This is right.
So, I've just received a mail from the wife asking for more logs.
She said "Thanks for opening my eyes, I got nervous and blocked your number, can you please send me more logs."
 
Revoh said:
This is right.
So, I've just received a mail from the wife asking for more logs.
She said "Thanks for opening my eyes, I got nervous and blocked your number, can you please send me more logs."
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nothing_stops_this_train-9763.gif
 
exmachina64 said:
Are you married? I really don't understand how you can defend this. As a general rule, people want to know when their spouses are cheating on them, even if it hurts and upends their lives.

The woman's husband had been having an affair and was planning to travel to the OP's country and have sex with his mistress. We know "beyond a reasonable doubt" the husband had been emotionally involved with another woman for approximately four months and had plans to make it a physical relationship.

I just can't wrap my head around this line of yours:


How can you possibly excuse his affair as a close friendship when he hid it from his wife?
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I think what he's getting at is that it's none of Revoh's business and that's not excusing the affair. Revoh's business is with his gf or ex or whatever she is. Once he cuts that off, it's done. What the guy she's messing around with is doing with his wife is a completely different matter that should probably be left to sort itself out between those people.

The problem is getting too mixed up in what people perceive the husband was "planning" to do. There is no reason to be involved in what he was planning to do.

Now, if he was married to this chick or they were seriously dating and her and the other husband actually had a physical relationship, then I can see going to the wife.
 
Ok so what I understand from her email is that she's not tech savvy and there's a chance she only read one log as of her wording. I've sent her 10 logs the other day. Gonna resend them again. Shit might explode after she reads all of them.
 
Seems like there's a new "my girlfriend cheated on me/doesn't really like me/is fucking some other guy" thread every other day on GAF. Has it ever occurred to some of you posting these threads that maybe you're just boring or don't have much to offer?
 
Revoh said:
This is right.
So, I've just received a mail from the wife asking for more logs.
She said "Thanks for opening my eyes, I got nervous and blocked your number, can you please send me more logs."
Click to expand...

Revoh said:
Ok so what I understand from her email is that she's not tech savvy and there's a chance she only read one log as of her wording. I've sent her 10 logs the other day. Gonna resend them again. Shit might explode after she reads all of them.
Click to expand...

ESyaMrF.jpg
 
Admiral Bone to Pick said:
Seems like there's a new "my girlfriend cheated on me/doesn't really like me/is fucking some other guy" thread every other day on GAF. Has it ever occurred to some of you posting these threads that maybe you're just boring or don't have much to offer?
Click to expand...

In that case your SO should break it off. Cheating is for liars and cowards.
 
Admiral Bone to Pick said:
Seems like there's a new "my girlfriend cheated on me/doesn't really like me/is fucking some other guy" thread every other day on GAF. Has it ever occurred to some of you posting these threads that maybe you're just boring or don't have much to offer?
Click to expand...

So if your partner is boring, that gives you a free pass to cheat? Got it, chief.
 
Revoh said:
Ok so what I understand from her email is that she's not tech savvy and there's a chance she only read one log as of her wording. I've sent her 10 logs the other day. Gonna resend them again. Shit might explode after she reads all of them.
Click to expand...

Dam. This is like a never ending saga.
 
crimzonflame said:
So if your partner is boring, that gives you a free pass to cheat? Got it, chief.
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That's not what I said at all. It's more that the OP and a lot of other people need to learn some self respect. The fact that he could sense she was emotionally cheating on him 3 months ago should have been a red flag and he should have just called it off then and there or at least seriously confronted her about it. People should stand up for themselves and not become so invested in another person. Self improve and work on being a more interesting and fun person. The other guy just threw a scarf at her and she went crazy. Showering her with expensive gifts and vacations clearly didn't make up for other things.
 
Admiral Bone to Pick said:
Seems like there's a new "my girlfriend cheated on me/doesn't really like me/is fucking some other guy" thread every other day on GAF. Has it ever occurred to some of you posting these threads that maybe you're just boring or don't have much to offer?
Click to expand...

Everyone is boring to a greater or lesser extent. The question is how long can you stave it off before your partner sees it
 
Admiral Bone to Pick said:
That's not what I said at all. It's more that the OP and a lot of other people need to learn some self respect. The fact that he could sense she was emotionally cheating on him 3 months ago should have been a red flag and he should have just called it off then and there or at least seriously confronted her about it. People should stand up for themselves and not become so invested in another person. Self improve and work on being a more interesting and fun person. The other guy just threw a scarf at her and she went crazy. Showering her with expensive gifts and vacations clearly didn't make up for other things.
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I think you speak some truth but it's a hard pill to swallow and won't be digested well here.

I was cheated on and while I still blamed my ex, I didn't shy away from self reflection on how unattractive of an SO I had become. It's too easy for people to not do that and instead wallow in self pity. I've watched friends let relationships crumble, get cheated on, and completely refuse to examine anything they'd done wrong. I actually had a friend tell me he thought his girl cheated on him because "I'm too perfect, and she couldn't handle the pressure." That was the most facepalmworthy head in the sand comment I ever heard about a relationship.
 
Admiral Bone to Pick said:
That's not what I said at all. It's more that the OP and a lot of other people need to learn some self respect. The fact that he could sense she was emotionally cheating on him 3 months ago should have been a red flag and he should have just called it off then and there or at least seriously confronted her about it. People should stand up for themselves and not become so invested in another person. Self improve and work on being a more interesting and fun person. The other guy just threw a scarf at her and she went crazy. Showering her with expensive gifts and vacations clearly didn't make up for other things.
Click to expand...

really? thats what you are telling the wife with a kid whose husband was looking for another girl? work on yourself and be more fun and interesting?
 
franconp said:
OP said he is from Paraguay.

From the text i think husband is from Argentina.
Click to expand...

So strange that someone would think of getting involved with someone else's girlfriend in a different country while being married and having a kid. And it's hilarious and pathetic that he had the audacity to put the blame the OP for "breaking up his family".
 
I have been reading this for the last days. I can only say, OP I hope you start feeling better when all this is done. You did the right thing.
 
PlayALLtheGames said:
I think what he's getting at is that it's none of Revoh's business and that's not excusing the affair. Revoh's business is with his gf or ex or whatever she is. Once he cuts that off, it's done. What the guy she's messing around with is doing with his wife is a completely different matter that should probably be left to sort itself out between those people.

The problem is getting too mixed up in what people perceive the husband was "planning" to do. There is no reason to be involved in what he was planning to do.

Now, if he was married to this chick or they were seriously dating and her and the other husband actually had a physical relationship, then I can see going to the wife.
Click to expand...

But the other guy did get involved with Revoh's life, he fucked his relationship up.

It is still cheating, and he was involved with his ex. To say that he should have only gone to that guy's wife if he had a physical relationship with the OP's ex is not right, especially considering it was something inevitable and it would have already happened had the guy traveled to OP's country two weeks ago as planned and they would have already done the deed by the time OP found out, there was no question about that because the OP made it clear about this when he was detailing the skype conversation in the first post.
 
nOoblet16 said:
So strange that someone would think of getting involved with someone else's girlfriend in a different country while being married and having a kid. And it's hilarious and pathetic that he had the audacity to put the blame the OP for "breaking up his family".
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thats the part that gets me. Would the people in this thread who say "op should not tell the wife" rather not know if their SO was cheating on them? Nobody deserves to be cheated on. If it's bad, leave. If cheating is going on, it's fair play to get called out on it.
 
Admiral Bone to Pick said:
That's not what I said at all. It's more that the OP and a lot of other people need to learn some self respect. The fact that he could sense she was emotionally cheating on him 3 months ago should have been a red flag and he should have just called it off then and there or at least seriously confronted her about it. People should stand up for themselves and not become so invested in another person. Self improve and work on being a more interesting and fun person. The other guy just threw a scarf at her and she went crazy. Showering her with expensive gifts and vacations clearly didn't make up for other things.
Click to expand...

Just because he had a feeling 3 months ago without any evidence is not the same as knowing for certain that his girl was cheating. What he probably sensed was distance, which can be harmless and not a big deal but in combination with the logs he found mean something different.

People cheat for many reasons. They can have an awesome, nice beautiful person waiting for them at home, but you know what, new and exciting has it's benefits too. A person who is mature and serious about their relationship realizes that new and exciting is temporary and its much wiser to invest in making your lasting relationship new and exciting but banging someone new gives you a thrill faster and easier.

Blaming someone who is cheated on; saying that they should have tried harder is dumb. Without proper communication nobody can properly work on a relationship problem, especially alone.
 
The wife started messaging me on Whatsapp. She said her husband controls her emails. So she created a new Gmail account now. She only read one of the logs.
That's why it makes sense when she told me she didn't find "the chat" that revealing. I literally said WTF when I read that.

But now...
 
Battlesmurf said:
thats the part that gets me. Would the people in this thread who say "op should not tell the wife" rather not know if their SO was cheating on them? Nobody deserves to be cheated on. If it's bad, leave. If cheating is going on, it's fair play to get called out on it.
Click to expand...

No those people believe that they are to awesome and exciting to ever be cheated on. Or that they would automatically know if it was close to happening.
 
Revoh said:
The wife started messaging me on Whatsapp. She said her husband controls her emails. So she created a new Gmail account now. She only read one of the logs.
That's why it makes sense when she told me she didn't find "the chat" that revealing. I literally said WTF when I read that.

But now...
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
 
Revoh said:
The wife started messaging me on Whatsapp. She said her husband controls her emails. So she created a new Gmail account now. She only read one of the logs.
That's why it makes sense when she told me she didn't find "the chat" that revealing. I literally said WTF when I read that.

But now...
Click to expand...

The cheating husband is trying to cover his tracks. Standard damage control.

Good to see that the wife is having none of that.

Let it burn, op. Let it burn.
 
Goliath said:
Just because he had a feeling 3 months ago without any evidence is not the same as knowing for certain that his girl was cheating. What he probably sensed was distance, which can be harmless and not a big deal but in combination with the logs he found mean something different.

People cheat for many reasons. They can have an awesome, nice beautiful person waiting for them at home, but you know what, new and exciting has it's benefits too. A person who is mature and serious about their relationship realizes that new and exciting is temporary and its much wiser to invest in making your lasting relationship new and exciting but banging someone new gives you a thrill faster and easier.

Blaming someone who is cheated on; saying that they should have tried harder is dumb. Without proper communication nobody can properly work on a relationship problem, especially alone.
Click to expand...

So 3 months ago, his girlfriend starts talking non-stop with some other guy on several different apps and start changing her passwords and trying to hide her messages and he shouldn't have confronted her right then and there? I'm not caught up on this thread (and I don't really care that much to be), but it seems like the OP is now trying to destroy the husband's marriage. Fair enough, but how is this solving any of his own problems? I wouldn't even post all of this if these threads weren't constant on NeoGAF. Consider for a second that some of the same people giving relationship advice might have disastrous or non-existent dating lives.
 
Why ruin the marriage? Your gf was a cheater, she was gonna cheat on you with another dude if not him. Ruining the guys marriage because you didn't have your gf under control is just salty and childish.\


"You ruined my relationship so imma ruin yours" is so fucking lame. There's no rules to shit like this but come on, not entirely his fault your gf wanted to fuck him and he caved in, should've just dumped your gf and that was it instead of going on this lame revenge run.
 
Revoh said:
The wife started messaging me on Whatsapp. She said her husband controls her emails. So she created a new Gmail account now. She only read one of the logs.
That's why it makes sense when she told me she didn't find "the chat" that revealing. I literally said WTF when I read that.

But now...
Click to expand...

You just keep reeling us in! Hehe. So she say anything yet for the other logs?
 
nOoblet16 said:
So strange that someone would think of getting involved with someone else's girlfriend in a different country while being married and having a kid. And it's hilarious and pathetic that he had the audacity to put the blame the OP for "breaking up his family".
Click to expand...

Guys like him think that way. They want the best of both worlds. Just like in Burn after Reading (Clooney character)"
A friend of a buddy of me who i only know from one wedding and a party has a wife and a kid. He loves them. But i also know that he is constantly fucking around other women. My buddy tells me his stories and i saw it at the party first hand.
He is cheating his wife but if anybody would tell it his wife, he would say that this person destroyed his family. Because it was "working" before she knew ...
 
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