I think what he's getting at is that it's none of Revoh's business and that's not excusing the affair. Revoh's business is with his gf or ex or whatever she is. Once he cuts that off, it's done. What the guy she's messing around with is doing with his wife is a completely different matter that should probably be left to sort itself out between those people.
The problem is getting too mixed up in what people perceive the husband was "planning" to do. There is no reason to be involved in what he was planning to do.
Now, if he was married to this chick or they were seriously dating and her and the other husband actually had a physical relationship, then I can see going to the wife.
I can see why you feel that way and under some set of circumstances, I might agree. However, the crux of the issue when we debate this is whether it's the wife's responsibility to realize or discover her husband is cheating on her or whether "we," though outsiders, have a responsibility to inform her. Effectively, we're debating whether Revoh or someone in his place is morally culpable for informing the wife about the affair.
The husband's taken steps to lessen the possibility of his wife discovering his affair(s): he cheated with a woman who lives in a different country, he communicated extensively through text-based messaging, and his brother was complicit in helping him conduct himself.
Ultimately, the final nail in the coffin should be that the wife isn't as technologically literate as she would need to be to discover the affair on her own. She said herself that her husband controlled her email account, etc. If the husband had been a little faster in preventing the OP from contacting his wife through social media or OP had decided it wasn't his business to inform her, he could potentially have gone his (or her) whole life having affairs with impunity.
I understand that you and others in this thread don't feel that Revoh (or others in his place) are morally culpable for not informing the wife (not that you condone the affair), however, some of us have the opposite view.
And I say this as someone who's married. I'm technologically literate and my spouse and I use each other's phones interchangeably. We have a joint bank account and (I feel like) I'd be able to discover infidelity with relative ease. I'd still want someone to tell me that my spouse was cheating on me if she did. Sure, you'd feel like a fool for not realizing, but you'd feel worse knowing that someone (or multiple people) knew and didn't say anything.
I think you speak some truth but it's a hard pill to swallow and won't be digested well here.
I was cheated on and while I still blamed my ex, I didn't shy away from self reflection on how unattractive of an SO I had become. It's too easy for people to not do that and instead wallow in self pity. I've watched friends let relationships crumble, get cheated on, and completely refuse to examine anything they'd done wrong. I actually had a friend tell me he thought his girl cheated on him because "I'm too perfect, and she couldn't handle the pressure." That was the most facepalmworthy head in the sand comment I ever heard about a relationship.
Your friend sounds very narcissistic, but that doesn't excuse the husband from cheating on his wife (not that that's necessarily what you're focusing on). If not breaking up a family is so important, it shouldn't matter whether his wife had become an unattractive SO after having the husband's children.
OP if you don't get your revenge and dump her, you will never feel right, never forgive yourself, and never be a man.
DO NOT stand for this betrayal. Are you a damned door mat? The manner of revenge is up to you, but do not pass this up, or you will regret it.
You've literally missed the entire thread.
