Nintendo Direct: new presentation on April 1st

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Can someone translate what Tatsu says?
 
Kojima will appear tomorrow and officially announce MGSV as a Wii U exclusive with a 4 feet tall Snake amiibo LE. Kojima and Iwata both in a Tingle costume.
 
This is what I want to see, but won't happen:

Metroid 2.5D or 3D by Retro for Wii U.
Twilight Princess HD
Super Mario 64 for the Virtual Console in HD
New F-Zero
Bayonetta for Smash
More Zelda U footage
Fatal Frame V (or Project Zero V) getting localized worldwide
SMTxFE (not a FE fan, but I want to see what they've been doing)
Persona 5
Original Shin Megami Tensei remake for 3DS, using the SMT IV engine

This would make me so happy...

But everything will be about games I'm not interested such as Yoshi, Splatoon, some 3DS games, Fire Emblem, and many useless 3DS games.

At least we will see more footage of Xenoblade X, and hopefully the launch date :3
 
honestly, these drects have been satisfying with xenoblade footage, hope a nice story trailer is in order. e3's was nice but i would like to see a little more
 
Just noticed something about that Smash character "leak": It refers to Nana as being Popo's sister, yet their exact relationship has never been explicitly confirmed.
 
But everything will be about games I'm not interested such as Yoshi, Splatoon, some 3DS games, Fire Emblem, and many useless 3DS games.

At least we will see more footage of Xenoblade X, and hopefully the launch date :3

Not to harp on you, but why no interest in Splatoon? I'm not that big on shooters or competitive multiplayer games normally, but this game seems so fresh and appealing to me that it's instantly become something I want but didn't know I wanted. I hope you'll at least try it.
 

Checking the dates, does Nintendo DLC usually release on Mondays? (Or in the case of the Star Fox stuff, a Wednesday of all days?)

I suppose if Star Fox Wii-U was confirmed for July 8th, we might have something.

Still, there isn't much incentive for this DLC. All but the possible newcomer are already playable in previous Smash games, and Brawl is playable on Wii-U with Wolf and Ice Climbers. At least Mewtwo will be free for (former?) CN members.

Another thing that seems off is that wasen't the Miiverse Stage said to be coming in a free update? Would be wierd to give Mewtwo the Miiverse Stage as a bundle when Popo and Wolf will both receive a stage from their respective series.

Just my two cents. Doesn't help that this was posted close to April 1st. People are already finding it hard to believe this Nintendo Direct.
 
Not to harp on you, but why no interest in Splatoon? I'm not that big on shooters or competitive multiplayer games normally, but this game seems so fresh and appealing to me that it's instantly become something I want but didn't know I wanted. I hope you'll at least try it.

I don't like multiplayer shooters
 
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