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[ZackieChan]

No reason at all for you to be pissed at her for banging your friend. She doesn't want you that way. You don't own her. Don't friend her on FB and don't hang out with her, because you can't handle being friends! You want to be with her romantically.

 

[stn]

@Noclue

Wrong move, dude. When a girl says she just left a long relationship or that she just wants to be friends, that means she has zero romantic interest in you. Learn to read signals better. From that point its up to you to decide whether you can truly be friends with her.

 

[SmackDaddy]

@Noclue

Wrong move, dude. When a girl says she just left a long relationship or that she just wants to be friends, that means she has zero romantic interest in you. Learn to read signals better. From that point its up to you to decide whether you can truly be friends with her.

Yeah, I say this to a lot of people... if a girl thinks you are her dream guy, she will do fkin anything to be with you. Those little disclaimers are a hint for you to gtfo.

 

[Noclue]

@all

You live and you learn. Every experience is a learning one if you look at it from the right perspective. But I'm over it, it's a non-issue now. I knew I made mistakes. Hope if anyone looks at the story they get something from it aswell.

The reason why I thought she was in the wrong for hooking up with anyone was that she told me she wants to be alone in that sense, but she could have as well said she is not interested in me.

 

[gaiages]

http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=960118

Based Revoh.

Thank you, this will be great entertainment for me come Monday

 

[Llyranor]

The reason why I thought she was in the wrong for hooking up with anyone was that she told me she wants to be alone in that sense, but she could have as well said she is not interested in me.

You usually just need to fill in the blanks when people give you BS excuses.

I'm not ready for a relationship (with you)

I'm too busy (unless you're Brad Pitt) and don't have time to date (you)

It's why some people go with the Brad Pitt (ate my sandwich) rule

 

[Idde]

@all

You live and you learn. Every experience is a learning one if you look at it from the right perspective. But I'm over it, it's a non-issue now. I knew I made mistakes. Hope if anyone looks at the story they get something from it aswell.

The reason why I thought she was in the wrong for hooking up with anyone was that she told me she wants to be alone in that sense, but she could have as well said she is not interested in me.

I might've come across a bit harsh in my post, and I can see why you reacted the way you did to her. But in my experience girls will never do the bolded. It'll always be the non-confrontational version. In a way it's nice and polite. In another way it can also be pretty confusing. After a while it usually becomes pretty clear what they actually mean Live and learn, live and learn.

 

[Tsukumo]

Sup Dating GAF.

[cut]

Whatever the outcome, don't go around telling everyone about this. Especially the boss. I get that you won't be there next month, but it's just a good habit to acquire.
Even if this girl is fine with it, spreading rumors about her and saying she is thirsty makes you look bad in front of the other girls.

Here I am with another question for you guys, 'cause I seem to be overthinking everything again.

Long story short. Had a GF 2 years ago. Dumped me because "I live too far away and she started studying and had no time for me".

Sounds like a bullshit excuse. Guy or girl dumping someone after TWO YEARS with a line like that is something out of this world. She must have been already tired of the relationship and found that to be the last drop, not the real reason.
Sounds too much like something a guy would say, anyway. A bro with a tank top and a baseball cap.

Got to know her at a festival 2 years ago.

Saw her there the year after, but she had a new BF. She was ogling me everythime we were in each-others vicinity. Saw her there this year as well. She appeared to be single again. It didn't take long before we started making out again. She initiated. The spark was back. Lot's of dancing, grinding, french kissing, etc. Felt amazing. We go back to the tents, she asks me to fuck her. I declined.

It was the right thing to do...

She dumped me after all, and I'm too proud to just jump in the sack with her again. I tell her that I'm down to hang with her, and that I'd love to see what would happen. She just wants to bone and tells me she isn't looking for a relationship. I go to my tent. Alone. Wanting to bone her something fierce.

...but you shouldn't have rejected her out of anger. Your instincts were right in telling you not to go in that tent, but I don't think you did it out of pride otherwise you wouldn't have had... boning fantasies. I think you did it out of self-preservation. You know she isn't fit for a relationship with you.

Next day, I meet her again. I ask her if she remembers anything from the night before. She says "not everything". I don't ask. Party starts that night, I only find her close to when that party finishes. We start dancing, etc... I go to my tent with some friends, she's very close by and I just go to sleep.

This was a mistake. You are teasing her now. It's as if you want to punish her, when you basically already did that the night before, once you rejected her.

Day 3, no encounter. I meet this other girl, we chill the entire day. During the final show, I encounter my ex, other girl in tow. She practically jumps at me, touches me very lovingly and spots the other girl behind me. She freezes up and does not know what to say. I just move forward, watch the show and go home after.

Back home, I kinda miss her. My ex, not the other one... And I'm doubting if I should send her a message. Did she just want sex the entire time? I can't comprehend because my judgement is clouded by feelings.

EDIT: Fuck it. Just texted her asking if she was able to get back to regular strength after the fest.

You should have given a chance to the other girl. It would have cleared your head of any remnants of a feeling for your ex.
I think the mood of the party influenced her and even if you had sex with her, the next day she would have treated you with the same dismissive attitude she shown when she left you years ago.
It's admirable that you stand your ground about wanting a relationship with her, but you should ask yourself why you want to go back to someone who left you with a line like "you live too far away". Especially when every time you offer your friendship she replies telling you she just wants to have sex.

 

[Kilrathi]

Just turned 28, I been single my whole life (never dated before), I was always focused on getting my career going first(It's finally starting to take off in VR), so I never dated when getting my associate and bachelor's degree. Right now, I am on my last year of my master's program.

Outside of the VR software design/development, I spent most of my free time riding horses. I own a high maintenance horse (second chance horse, who also allergic to alot of things), he was in bad shape when I first met him.


I also have asperger syndrome.

 

[gaiages]

Just turned 28, I been single my whole life (never dated before), I was always focused on getting my career going first(It's finally starting to take off in VR), so I never dated when getting my associate and bachelor's degree. Right now, I am on my last year of my master's program.

Outside of the VR software design/development, I spent most of my free time riding horses. I own a high maintenance horse (second chance horse, who also allergic to alot of things), he was in bad shape when I first met him.


I also have asperger syndrome.

I'm a little confused. Are you looking for some advice?

Depending on the severity of your disability, that could mean nothing. I've known two people extensively with Asperger's--one was pretty much a normal guy, aside from a couple of odd tendensies (and he dated a lot), while the other was... I say medium severity, but the way his parents raised him he leaned on his disability as a means to do nothing with his life, constantly complaining that it was the disability's fault. He was overall an awkward person, but he managed to get a lot of action, as well.

 

[Kilrathi]

I'm a little confused. Are you looking for some advice?

Depending on the severity of your disability, that could mean nothing. I've known two people extensively with Asperger's--one was pretty much a normal guy, aside from a couple of odd tendensies (and he dated a lot), while the other was... I say medium severity, but the way his parents raised him he leaned on his disability as a means to do nothing with his life, constantly complaining that it was the disability's fault. He was overall an awkward person, but he managed to get a lot of action, as well.

pretty much

 

[Salamando]

pretty much

I have no idea where you're starting from, so I'm just going to throw out advice, and you pick what sticks...

- Take pride in your appearance. Learn how clothes are supposed to fit, and then buy proper fitting clothes. Figure out a hairstyle that works well on you. Consult a barber if necessary. Watch what you eat and workout to get your body looking decent.

- Confidence. This goes in with above. Every time you walk out of your apartment, you need to believe you're the shit. If you don't believe it, fake it. Everyone else out there is.

- Read Aziz Ansari's "Modern Romance". It goes over how dating works in the modern world. It's as close to a modern day dating instruction manual as you're going to get. There's a lot of games in modern dating, and it goes over them.

- Consider Online Dating. You have a horse and a calling you're passionate enough about to go for a masters. Both facts will play very well with the ladies.

- If you ask a girl out, the only thing that matters is "did she say yes?" If she did, game on! If she didn't, move on. And when you ask a girl out, always suggest a time and place. And don't be coy - if you want to date her, use the word date, and don't suggest "chilling sometime".

 

[anaslexy]

I've gone on three dates with a girl and all of them went welll. The second date and third dates ended with kisses and there was hand holding on the third one.On the second date she mentioned she could be leaving town soon to live overseas for a year for further studies. I asked her if we could take her wine tasting this weekend but she is busy this weekend and the next as well ( friends will be in town).

I was bit puzzled but later I texted her for a brekky meeting saying I wanted to see her before the weekend. I got a message saying that she has gone out with a few other people from a dating site and has decided not to take any relationships further since she is likely to leave town. I texted her back that I didn't anticipate our relationship going far after she had told me about her plans. I said I enjoyed her company and we can still have a good time hanging out and take trips exploring the region which is full of wineries (she has recently moved here). She replied back saying super and suggested she was relieved to hear that. She meeting for breakfast on Monday morning which I agreed to.

On Monday, I want to straight up tell her that we should be more than friends and keeping hanging out till she leaves. I also wanted to suggest that I want to take her away for one night to a beautiful wine region during the week since she has weekend plans.

Do you think the plan will work? What else can I do on Monday to ensure I don't end up in a lets be friends only situation.

 

[Noclue]

I've gone on three dates with a girl and all of them went welll. The second date and third dates ended with kisses and there was hand holding on the third one.On the second date she mentioned she could be leaving town soon to live overseas for a year for further studies. I asked her if we could take her wine tasting this weekend but she is busy this weekend and the next as well ( friends will be in town).

I was bit puzzled but later I texted her for a brekky meeting saying I wanted to see her before the weekend. I got a message saying that she has gone out with a few other people from a dating site and has decided not to take any relationships further since she is likely to leave town. I texted her back that I didn't anticipate our relationship going far after she had told me about her plans. I said I enjoyed her company and we can still have a good time hanging out and take trips exploring the region which is full of wineries (she has recently moved here). She replied back saying super and suggested she was relieved to hear that. She meeting for breakfast on Monday morning which I agreed to.

On Monday, I want to straight up tell her that we should be more than friends and keeping hanging out till she leaves. I also wanted to suggest that I want to take her away for one night to a beautiful wine region during the week since she has weekend plans.

Do you think the plan will work? What else can I do on Monday to ensure I don't end up in a lets be friends only situation.

I've done the exact same thing 2 weeks ago. Didn't end well.
Summary: Went on dates -> Tell her stuff -> She gives excuse -> I give Impression we can be friends -> We can't be friends -> She fucks best friend -> I lose contact.

On Monday you are going to tell her the exact opposite of what makes her go out with you that day? ( The fact that you can go out as friends and that you didn't imagine the relationship would end in something ). How do you think this will work out? Her not wanting to keep contact with you in a romantical way but wanting to in a friendly way seems to me that you paved your way into a "let's be friends" situation. ALSO you telling her you didn't anticipate your relationship going far..???? Did it with your own hands man.


I myself just came from a date, great girl, messaged her after, telling her I had a great time and that I want to see her again. She replied that she had a great time and that she doesn't know the schedule of her uni's intro party(ies) and that we'll figure out a time and place for next week after Monday(when school starts). All in all pretty happy.

 

[gaiages]

I've done the exact same thing 2 weeks ago. Didn't end well.
Summary: Went on dates -> Tell her stuff -> She gives excuse -> I give Impression we can be friends -> We can't be friends -> She fucks best friend -> I lose contact.

On Monday you are going to tell her the exact opposite of what makes her go out with you that day? ( The fact that you can go out as friends and that you didn't imagine the relationship would end in something ). How do you think this will work out? Her not wanting to keep contact with you in a romantical way but wanting to in a friendly way seems to me that you paved your way into a "let's be friends" situation. ALSO you telling her you didn't anticipate your relationship going far..???? Did it with your own hands man.


I myself just came from a date, great girl, messaged her after, telling her I had a great time and that I want to see her again. She replied that she had a great time and that she doesn't know the schedule of her uni's intro party(ies) and that we'll figure out a time and place for next week after Monday(when school starts). All in all pretty happy.

Please don't be so negative towards his idea. Yours and his situation aren't the same, actually. His date's leaving town, yours wasn't. Kind of a big difference there, not to mention other minor differences, but I'm not here to make a list.

I personally say go for it, anaslexy. Honestly, you have nothing to lose at this point, right? Either she agrees and you two can have fun times until she leaves, or she says no and you two drop contact, which was going to happen anyway. As long as you don't dwell on it afterwards, or try to convince her or anything else like that, I don't see anything wrong with at least trying. Well, and as long as you don't expect the relationship to go super far and are just planning to 'enjoy the moment', as it's very likely to continue with her once she leaves town.

 

[stn]

So there's this girl I hired to do legal research for a very short period, was strictly done online. I knew what she looked like because she came as a recommendation from a friend, she however has no clue what I look like. She messaged me today on POF. She has zero clue who I am.

Hilarious?

 

[Doominated]

So there's this girl I hired to do legal research for a very short period, was strictly done online. I knew what she looked like because she came as a recommendation from a friend, she however has no clue what I look like. She messaged me today on POF. She has zero clue who I am.

Hilarious?

Only if she's hot

 

[anaslexy]

Please don't be so negative towards his idea. Yours and his situation aren't the same, actually. His date's leaving town, yours wasn't. Kind of a big difference there, not to mention other minor differences, but I'm not here to make a list.

I personally say go for it, anaslexy. Honestly, you have nothing to lose at this point, right? Either she agrees and you two can have fun times until she leaves, or she says no and you two drop contact, which was going to happen anyway. As long as you don't dwell on it afterwards, or try to convince her or anything else like that, I don't see anything wrong with at least trying. Well, and as long as you don't expect the relationship to go super far and are just planning to 'enjoy the moment', as it's very likely to continue with her once she leaves town.

Thanks, for the reinforcement, you got my point. I'm wondering if there is a way to say it that will convince her. I genuinely enjoy spending time with and I think she does too.

 

[Salamando]

I personally say go for it, anaslexy. Honestly, you have nothing to lose at this point, right? Either she agrees and you two can have fun times until she leaves, or she says no and you two drop contact, which was going to happen anyway. As long as you don't dwell on it afterwards, or try to convince her or anything else like that, I don't see anything wrong with at least trying. Well, and as long as you don't expect the relationship to go super far and are just planning to 'enjoy the moment', as it's very likely to continue with her once she leaves town.

I dunno. His plan was to lie to a girl about his intentions so that she'd still hang out with him, and then try to convince her into a short-term relationship. If he was upfront about wanting to be more than friends until she leaves, it'd all be good. It's just the being a phony friend thing that's off.

 

[anaslexy]

I dunno. His plan was to lie to a girl about his intentions so that she'd still hang out with him, and then try to convince her into a short-term relationship. If he was upfront about wanting to be more than friends until she leaves, it'd all be good. It's just the being a phony friend thing that's off.

I had such a good time with her that my initial plan was a relationship. My plans changed when I found out this couldn't happen and it's something she doesn't want either.

If you are referring to one of my earlier posts where I asked about taking her for a overnight trip, her plans had already changed by then.

 

[Salamando]

I had such a good time with her that my initial plan was a relationship. My plans changed when I found out this couldn't happen and it's something she doesn't want either.

If you are referring to one of my earlier posts where I asked about taking her for a overnight trip, her plans had already changed by then.

Here's my train of thought....

Girl tells you she doesn't want a relationship, since she's going to be leaving soon. You then friendzone yourself (she said she's not looking to date, you suggest "hanging out", I call that turning yourself into a friend), but you now want to set up a "more than friends" thing. That's just dishonest in my book.

 

[Dylan Sexbang]

Whatever the outcome, don't go around telling everyone about this. Especially the boss. I get that you won't be there next month, but it's just a good habit to acquire.
Even if this girl is fine with it, spreading rumors about her and saying she is thirsty makes you look bad in front of the other girls.

I've only told the team lead because she's the cool boss and is actually trying to help me and actively ensure I get her number. She wants to help. And other than that, the only people who know I'm trying are the people she flirted with me in front of, and my coworkers who noticed me being a dog. But that is good to know, I'm usually quiet and talk to a select group of coworkers actively.

 

[anaslexy]

Here's my train of thought....

Girl tells you she doesn't want a relationship, since she's going to be leaving soon. You then friendzone yourself (she said she's not looking to date, you suggest "hanging out", I call that turning yourself into a friend), but you now want to set up a "more than friends" thing. That's just dishonest in my book.

I Iike your perspective. I didn't think that using "hanging out" could be construed as agreeing to be just friends. I thought if I said we should hang out and visit wineries, it would imply that we would have to take overnight trips which would subtly imply a 'more than friends' situation.

 

[ZackieChan]

I Iike your perspective. I didn't think that using "hanging out" could be construed as agreeing to be just friends. I thought if I said we should hang out and visit wineries, it would imply that we would have to take overnight trips which would subtly imply a 'more than friends' situation.

Stop being subtle. You are friendzoned now because you were "subtle." She just wants to be friends because she is leaving soon. Are you hoping to use the wine to ply her into sex?

Was that you that posted a similar plan before and were shit on because of it? I forget.

Regardless, you going back on what you said is a surefire way to not see her again, I think. But you only live once. As gaiages said, she's leaving anyway. Might as well tell her. But don't be a creep with the wine.

 

[Noclue]

Stop being subtle. You are friendzoned now because you were "subtle." She just wants to be friends because she is leaving soon. Are you hoping to use the wine to ply her into sex?

Was that you that posted a similar plan before and were shit on because of it? I forget.

Regardless, you going back on what you said is a surefire way to not see her again, I think. But you only live once. As gaiages said, she's leaving anyway. Might as well tell her. But don't be a creep with the wine.

That was my thought process too, that you put yourself in a weird situation. However, regardless, she is leaving, so I guess you could go for it.


I went out with a girl last night, great date. Told her I had a great time and that I want to see her again, and she said the same, with us having to make plans sometime next week. We were supposed to see eachother Sunday but she cleared some plans and we saw eachother Saturday. I asked her about next weekend, but I'm wondering, is it bad if I ask her out for for this Sunday? Our first date was yesterday (Saturday). Are the initial dates supposed to have some time between eachother?

I know she is free on this Sunday, because that's when the date was initially supposed to go down. Is the 3 day no message bs true, should I follow any of that tripe?

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

So, why is being the guy girls complain to about other guys a bad thing?

 

[Cake Boss]

So, why is being the guy girls complain to about other guys a bad thing?

Isn't it cuz they see you as one of their girlfriends and not a possible mate?

 

[AdventureRacing]

I know she is free on this Sunday, because that's when the date was initially supposed to go down. Is the 3 day no message bs true, should I follow any of that tripe?

What is the 3 day no message rule? If it means to wait that long after a date to make contact I think that's an awful idea. From what I've discussed with my female friends waiting anywhere near that long would be a deal breaker. It basically makes it look like you either didn't enjoy the date or you're not interested.

 

[Karsha]

There are a lot of girls that utilize the "let's be friend " as a test period though, to see how you will react and all so it's not always "she is not interested", when a girl isn't in to you she'd most likely get cold, never contact you first and reply very short to your messages

 

[Jokab]

There are a lot of girls that utilize the "let's be friend " as a test period though, to see how you will react and all so it's not always "she is not interested", when a girl isn't in to you she'd most likely get cold, never contact you first and reply very short to your messages

If a girl wants to "test" me and play games, she's honestly not worth my time.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Isn't it cuz they see you as one of their girlfriends and not a possible mate?

Damn.

Well, it's not too bad right? I mean someone here said I really shouldn't be dating anyway. So, I'm better off getting to know my female friends and listen to their concerns.

 

[anaslexy]

Stop being subtle. You are friendzoned now because you were "subtle." She just wants to be friends because she is leaving soon. Are you hoping to use the wine to ply her into sex?

Was that you that posted a similar plan before and were shit on because of it? I forget.

Regardless, you going back on what you said is a surefire way to not see her again, I think. But you only live once. As gaiages said, she's leaving anyway. Might as well tell her. But don't be a creep with the wine.

I was friend zoned because she is going away and doesn't want a relationship or have anyone hurt. And if my plan was to get her in the sack in a sleazy way, I wouldn't be talking about being upfront with her. I would go along with the friend routine, get her drunk and then make a move.

The similar plan I had posted earlier was after date two when I was told she is leaving town. The idea was the same to let her know I didn't want to be just friends.

 

[Llyranor]

T
I know she is free on this Sunday, because that's when the date was initially supposed to go down. Is the 3 day no message bs true, should I follow any of that tripe?

3-day message rule is BS. I've always texted thr same day right after a date (had a great time etc) and gotten a txt back the same night.

As for how soon to arrange a second date, closest I've done was Fri-Sun and Fri-Mon. In both cases, the 2nd date was improv after the first date went so well (I would just ask them out on saturday). As for two days in a row, hard to say. Might be 'too soon', but there shouldn't be a hard set rule, either. Maybe see how she responds to your txts, ask her what she's doing today etc *shrug*

There are a lot of girls that utilize the "let's be friend " as a test period though, to see how you will react and all so it's not always "she is not interested", when a girl isn't in to you she'd most likely get cold, never contact you first and reply very short to your messages

That'd be my cue to look for someone else who doesn't play dumb games because I'm not a teenager anymore.

Damn.

Well, it's not too bad right? I mean someone here said I really shouldn't be dating anyway. So, I'm better off getting to know my female friends and listen to their concerns.

Er..... Maybe you getting more familiar/comfortable with normal interactions with women *would* be a good idea.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

If a girl wants to "test" me and play games, she's honestly not worth my time.

Yup, of its not a no from her then it's a no for me since I'm not playing that if that's the case. You have to have respect for yourself too.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Er..... Maybe you getting more familiar/comfortable with normal interactions with women *would* be a good idea.

I'm trying to. Geez

 

[ZackieChan]

Damn.

Well, it's not too bad right? I mean someone here said I really shouldn't be dating anyway. So, I'm better off getting to know my female friends and listen to their concerns.

Just don't expect it to turn into anything else.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Just don't expect it to turn into anything else.

Oh yeah, I know.

 

[Noclue]

removed

 

[Vic_Bast]

Hey guys, first time posting on this thread and I too, really need some advice.
Sorry for my bad english, but I will try to do my best.

So, I have been seeing this girl for about a month. We had two dates until now, holding hands, french kissing and all. However, on our second date she warned me that this month she would be very busy due to her new job.

Two weeks ago (08/14) I texted asking her if she wanted to catch a movie. She replied saying that she was really tired and would need the weekend to study.
Then, we keep talking to each other during the week and last friday I ask her out again. This time she had to go with her family to a nearby city, a 2 day trip, to visit some parents.

Now I really don't know if I should keep texting, ask her out once again or just ignore and let her text me. I am 25 now, will turn 26 next November and she is the first girl that I went out with. Also, the first time I kissed someone.

I have zero experience in this. GAF, what should I do?

 

[soapypanda]

Can some of you help me out? As a girl what are you supposed to say when men ask you out for drinks? I would say "sure" or "I'm down" then they never text me again. It's depressing how often this happens and does wonders for my self-esteem.

I don't mind if they said they changed their minds but just tell me? I guess people hate confrontation.

 

[Gray Matter]

Can some of you help me out? As a girl what are you supposed to say when men ask you out for drinks? I would say "sure" or "I'm down" then they never text me again. It's depressing how often this happens and does wonders for my self-esteem.

I don't mind if they said they changed their minds but just tell me? I guess people hate confrontation.

Maybe they got shocked that you actually agreed to go and took them by surprise and they hadn't actually planned in case you said yes.

As a guy who has zero luck with the opposite sex, I certainly would be surprised.

 

[soapypanda]

Maybe they got shocked that you actually agreed to go and took them by surprise and they hadn't actually planned in case you said yes.

As a guy who has zero luck with the opposite sex, I certainly would be surprised.

Haha thanks for the kind words. I asked some of my female friends and they said it happens a lot to them too. Just comes with modern dating I guess.

 

[Gray Matter]

Haha thanks for the kind words. I asked some of my female friends and they said it happens a lot to them too. Just comes with modern dating I guess.

Yea, I hear that a lot too, from both sides. Flaking is very common, sadly.

 

[njean777]

Ok here is a long story and one I need some help with:

A co-worker and I have been talking for about 4 months or so and really really get along with each other. We always hang out with each other at work, and we always are on the same page when it comes to most things. Anyways fast forward to this last Friday and her and me went out for the night (now she does have a BF). Anyways we have fun playing pool and sharing a couple of drinks (neither of us got drunk) then we talk for about 30-45 minutes in the middle of playing pool. We end up leaving, and when we get back to the parking spot of her truck we start fooling around. After we are done I stay for another 30 minutes with her and we just talk, after that I leave and before I go she gives me a kiss.I text her the next morning and tell her I had a good time, she replies. Then I send another message and haven't heard from her since. Now before anybody judges me she has really dropped out of her relationship with her BF (emotionally) for about 6 months already. They do not have sex and she is really forthcoming to me about that. I like this girl, but at the same time question why after having fun this weekend she doesn't even try to contact me at all. Of course that could be because she has to deal with the BF being around, but regardless I would still think if she was fine with what happened that she would at least say "hi" to me.

Anyways I guess what I want to know is how should I approach her tomorrow at work? Should I even bring up that she never even tried to contact me this weekend? Or should I just act like nothing ever happened and see how she reacts to being around me at work?

 

[SephLuis]

Ok here is a long story and one I need some help with:

A co-worker and I have been talking for about 4 months or so and really really get along with each other. We always hang out with each other at work, and we always are on the same page when it comes to most things. Anyways fast forward to this last Friday and her and me went out for the night (now she does have a BF). Anyways we have fun playing pool and sharing a couple of drinks (neither of us got drunk) then we talk for about 30-45 minutes in the middle of playing pool. We end up leaving, and when we get back to the parking spot of her truck we start fooling around. After we are done I stay for another 30 minutes with her and we just talk, after that I leave and before I go she gives me a kiss.I text her the next morning and tell her I had a good time, she replies. Then I send another message and haven't heard from her since. Now before anybody judges me she has really dropped out of her relationship with her BF (emotionally) for about 6 months already. They do not have sex and she is really forthcoming to me about that. I like this girl, but at the same time question why after having fun this weekend she doesn't even try to contact me at all. Of course that could be because she has to deal with the BF being around, but regardless I would still think if she was fine with what happened that she would at least say "hi" to me.

Anyways I guess what I want to know is how should I approach her tomorrow at work? Should I even bring up that she never even tried to contact me this weekend? Or should I just act like nothing ever happened and see how she reacts to being around me at work?

I am not the best person to be giving advice, but I would approach her normally and make a casual comment about the mail.

 

[Unai]

Can some of you help me out? As a girl what are you supposed to say when men ask you out for drinks? I would say "sure" or "I'm down" then they never text me again. It's depressing how often this happens and does wonders for my self-esteem.

I don't mind if they said they changed their minds but just tell me? I guess people hate confrontation.

Wow, I didn't even know this was a thing. Why they would even ask if they don't intend to go along is beyond me. Then again, I usually overthink things so my problem is the opposite.

 

[Leeness]

Can some of you help me out? As a girl what are you supposed to say when men ask you out for drinks? I would say "sure" or "I'm down" then they never text me again. It's depressing how often this happens and does wonders for my self-esteem.

I don't mind if they said they changed their minds but just tell me? I guess people hate confrontation.

Ah yes, happens when I least want it to...

Been talking with someone who is "always down to grab a bottle of wine, watch a movie and eat some sushi!" and I said "how about in the next couple of weeks then" or something... nothing~~~~~. Going to keep trying though because this guy always replies to me eventually... Lol.

 

[luckyboyceo]

There are a lot of girls that utilize the "let's be friend " as a test period though, to see how you will react and all so it's not always "she is not interested", when a girl isn't in to you she'd most likely get cold, never contact you first and reply very short to your messages

In what world does this happen? High school? Middle school? Never once have I heard of this happening, ever.

If she wants to date you she's not going to waste her time "testing" you.

Can some of you help me out? As a girl what are you supposed to say when men ask you out for drinks? I would say "sure" or "I'm down" then they never text me again. It's depressing how often this happens and does wonders for my self-esteem.

I don't mind if they said they changed their minds but just tell me? I guess people hate confrontation.

Make solid plans. If you don't feel comfortable leading charge, just respond with something like "Sure! I'm free Wednesday and Friday night," and let them take it from there.

If they legitimately want to see you, they'll make sure they do. With that said, as a guy, sometimes it can be daunting having to pick the day, time, location and activity, especially if you were just casually interested in the person. If they really want to see you, they'll do it, but there's nothing wrong with a little bit of help.

Ok here is a long story and one I need some help with:

A co-worker and I have been talking for about 4 months or so and really really get along with each other. We always hang out with each other at work, and we always are on the same page when it comes to most things. Anyways fast forward to this last Friday and her and me went out for the night (now she does have a BF). Anyways we have fun playing pool and sharing a couple of drinks (neither of us got drunk) then we talk for about 30-45 minutes in the middle of playing pool. We end up leaving, and when we get back to the parking spot of her truck we start fooling around. After we are done I stay for another 30 minutes with her and we just talk, after that I leave and before I go she gives me a kiss.I text her the next morning and tell her I had a good time, she replies. Then I send another message and haven't heard from her since. Now before anybody judges me she has really dropped out of her relationship with her BF (emotionally) for about 6 months already. They do not have sex and she is really forthcoming to me about that. I like this girl, but at the same time question why after having fun this weekend she doesn't even try to contact me at all. Of course that could be because she has to deal with the BF being around, but regardless I would still think if she was fine with what happened that she would at least say "hi" to me.

Anyways I guess what I want to know is how should I approach her tomorrow at work? Should I even bring up that she never even tried to contact me this weekend? Or should I just act like nothing ever happened and see how she reacts to being around me at work?

You had fun. She had fun. There's no need to try and make it anymore than that.

She was probably just using you to fill whatever physical/sexual void she's had since she's not physical with her boyfriend anymore. She definitely doesn't want to start an entirely new relationship while she's neck deep in one that isn't working.

Don't make things weird at the office. Just be content with the fact that your encounter was (most likely) a one night thing. If she wants it to be more than that, she'll let you know.

 

[njean777]

In what world does this happen? High school? Middle school? Never once have I heard of this happening, ever.

If she wants to date you she's not going to waste her time "testing" you.


Make solid plans. If you don't feel comfortable leading charge, just respond with something like "Sure! I'm free Wednesday and Friday night," and let them take it from there.

If they legitimately want to see you, they'll make sure they do. With that said, as a guy, sometimes it can be daunting having to pick the day, time, location and activity, especially if you were just casually interested in the person. If they really want to see you, they'll do it, but there's nothing wrong with a little bit of help.


You had fun. She had fun. There's no need to try and make it anymore than that.

She was probably just using you to fill whatever physical/sexual void she's had since she's not physical with her boyfriend anymore. She definitely doesn't want to start an entirely new relationship while she's neck deep in one that isn't working.

Don't make things weird at the office. Just be content with the fact that your encounter was (most likely) a one night thing. If she wants it to be more than that, she'll let you know.

well she did state "next time" and "next friday" we would do more. So I hope that is a good sign. This was after we finished on Friday btw.

 

[Oblivion]

well she did state "next time" and "next friday" we would do more. So I hope that is a good sign. This was after we finished on Friday btw.

I dunno if this would be the right course of action, but If I was in that situation, I'd just be totally nonchalant about it. Just ask like you normally would around her, be friendly, etc. I would think that this would make it easier on her end if she doesn't want to bring it up without things becoming awkward.