GAF: go see a therapist
GAF: your therapist is wrong
Anyway, I blocked her on IG today.
Therapists are human beings. Just like you, they're fallible people that can make mistakes. It's wrong to think of a therapist and their advice as some type of holy gospel--that isn't the point of a therapist. Therapists are essentially people with degrees in being able to dig into your emotions and try to help you face them. If your therapist is saying "If you don't do what I say in the way I'm saying it, then you'll never get better", then she is a bad therapist and you should get another one. Their purpose is to help you, not direct your life, and to decide if there is further professional help that you need (whether it be another type of therapist, or some sort of medication for depression/mental illness). If you are taking everything they say as "if I don't do this, then I'll never get better", then that's not the right mindset to have.
As for the subject at hand, your therarpist is somewhat right--as long as you don't look at the page, then effectively it shouldn't matter. But stn is also right. Not going to her page, but not blocking her, is a passive choice, more like you're just going with the flow and if you get over her, you get over her. Going to her page and blocking her is an active choice, in that you are taking the effort to go onto these sites and removing her from your life. The active choice is also the more painful one, as you saw, because it makes you really face your feelings and take that first, deliberate step towards moving on, consciously.
Whether you want to live life passively or actively is ultimately your choice.
Seriously. People in these threads assume that because I air how I feel in here, I must do this in real life as well. Because I'm negative, lonely, & depressed now I must also be like this in person. No, not the case. I put on a different face when I'm out with friends. No way would I let them know this is how it is. There is no point. There is no fixing this by letting them know.
Honestly, it's good to open up to your friends, if they're true friends. They can help you through rough emotional patches. And while I fully believe that "fake it till you make it" works, it's always nice to have someone to open up to that's not a therapist. Support groups and all that.
Also, Infinity, please stop arguing the exact definitions of some of the things we say. You know full well what Llyanor meant by having her as a 'friend', and if you truly don't, then you have to take everything that is said so literally.
I also say that to you, Diaboli. It's good to have a friend you can talk to personal matters about. It helps to get through the stress/frustration a lot.
This is unfortunately me right now. Talking to a new girl really helps me. Even though I'm extremely busy right now with school and work, it's still not distracting enough at all. However, texting some girl I met online or something or a girl who's number I happened to get really helps me forget about my ex. What sucks is when those texts go nowhere and they stop responding. Then I start thinking about my ex again.
I understand that's what you're doing, but that's not a healthy mindset to have in terms of looking for a new girlfriend. Great for hook-ups and one night stands, but for a tangible relationship you may come away disappointed.
So after talking to her about it. She really wanted to keep reassuring me that it really was nothing more than a mean spirited joke, even showed me the texts between him and her where she told him it was a joke before she told me. Not that he could really think it was funny either, and that she would never seriously try to hurt me like that since I'm always there for her. Still don't really know how I feel about that at all, but whatever. She really REALLY wants us to forget that it ever happened and keep on going as usual. Which I think is disrespectful to my feelings on the matter personally.
I pretty much told her that, sure, if she wants to pretend like it didn't happen, fine, but it's not something I'll ever forget, and that she's heartless if she ever thinks I will. We're going to go on as usual, but she shouldn't expect me to treat her the same at all after that, and that I still can't really say I've forgiven her. Seems like she understood though.
So you don't forgive her, think lowly of her, but still want to be friends? One of these things doesn't fit in correctly. Please, just cut her from her life. If she legitimately thought that would be a funny joke in the least, she clearly has no regard for your feelings at all, apologies or no.
You're making so many assertions about who she is and her character based on like a 600 word post about an hours worth of time and something she immediately apologised for. But no, she's obviously a manipulative bitch with no sense of humour?
Like seriously, she did a manipulative, bitchy thing one time, that does not necessarily make someone a manipulative bitch. Being forgiving doesn't make you spineless.
I wouldn't hold it against him if he cut all contact with her after something like that, I think that's a reasonable response too if he was that hurt and thought the friendship was too damaged to carry it on. I just think the people telling him "Stop being friends right now or she's just going to walk all over you forever" are way off.
I don't really agree with people calling him a doormat (I don't think he was, and just had trouble reacting to the situation), but she did not immediately apologize, and the fact that she *kept the joke going* after it should have been immensely obvious that she was making both him and the friend uncomfortable, and his silence afterwards when they were in the car together. To be blunt, I highly, highly doubt she lacks that amount of social nuance to fail to notice how malicious that joke was for that amount of time, unless she has a social mental disorder like Aspburger's.
just so fucking mad over this!!!