ZackieChan
Member
There was no consensus. I always disagree
Such a sad sack
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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Such a sad sack
Pretty sure we agreed to not use such offensive language in this thread.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yeah, it turns out she really was sick and was stressed from studying for her equivalent of the bar exam. She apologized and we're getting together next week (since her mother's visiting this weekend). I admit that I was a little bummed for half a day, but then I coped by working out and grabbing dinner with a friend. It's important not to --
Exactly this. I'll caveat this with the following: not putting all of your eggs in one basket doesn't necessarily mean dating others. But it means productively occupying your time well enough (and legitimately being satisfied with doing so) that you can recognize a budding relationship for what it is: something that's not actually there yet.
Never had this issue. Online: "If texting's easier, my number is ..." I've literally never not had a number offered in response. Offline: "*touches Contacts app* *hands over phone*" Again, no one's ever refused. It's just a number; it's not some rite of passage that it was in the 1950s.
Instead of PMing, it wouldn't be an outright terrible idea to start another thread for those whose tastes don't cater to traditional dating norms, so that, at the very least, they (and others) can offer each other advice. Maybe Asexual-Age |OT| wouldn't be as active as this thread, but there's a need, just as there's a stark difference between GettingaDate-Age and LTR-Age.
Nope. One of the last girls I dated was nicknamed Fish Lips. I suppose there's an innocuous version of the hot vs. crazy scale for sexual inexperience or ineptness here, admittedly. Also, yes to biting. Who doesn't bite?
No. Absolutely not. You've known each other for 10 days, and you do not want to bring up the exclusivity talk now -- in fact, either let her bring it up or simply wait until it's naturally progressed (at which point, you'll know it when you see it). You're blindsiding her with an ultra-romantic date idea on V-Day. Don't pressure so hard for the overnight stay, either, although I will say that a girlfriend I had back in 2015 had similar ideas, and she ultimately wasn't comfortable with the idea of a relationship at the time.
That said, forcing it doesn't help. Having the DTR ten days in doesn't help. Talking about feelings, at this stage, doesn't help. You're well within your rights to say "I like you." In fact, I volunteer that early on if I'm feeling it. There's nothing wrong with being emotionally open, but not to the degree that you're suggesting.
Let things progress. You know how you can move things from "casual" to "serious?" By dating someone, getting to know them, and spending increasing amounts of time with them. This isn't high school: adults don't ask someone to be their boy/girlfriend.
This is where you figure out something, propose it, and say: "Hey, Leia! Have a good time on your trip. Let's do X at 7pm on Tuesday." You have plenty of time to think of a date between now and then. Also, in the interim, you can prepare. Get a haircut. Groom your beard. You've also got a weekend to consider modifying your wardrobe. It's hard to go wrong with jeans and a button-up with rolled sleeves. (Note: I honestly don't remember what you look like! But, these are points worth following regardless.)
You can't cheat if you're not in a relationship.
I didn't in college, either. Post-law school, though... well, some people peak later: that's okay.
Apparently.
User 479360
Banned
Yeah. It feels like cheating, but it isn't. I guess I'm just not used to it. I'm learning on the fly, because I hardly ever dated before.
I've never really worn jeans, but should buy some. I'm the type of guy who wears cotton pants or khakis and a button-up shirt. I plan to get a haircut (it honestly doesn't look bad right now, nor does the beard -- just needs a bit of work) because I have a $2.99 coupon that expires on Valentine's Day. Of course, they'll charge an extra seven for the beard.
hydrophilic attack
Member
Dating-Age |OT6| MikeDipXLeeness You Had Me At "Hello"
Shit, I want to figure this girl out, but I don't know her name. I guess it wouldn't be hard for me to get her name, but I'm kind of confused on if I should even bother trying to get with her to do something.
We used to talk a pretty good amount, but after a while, we sort of stopped. I'm sure that it was due to me giving lackluster responses and monotone responses to her advances, so I think she got the wrong idea. I'm not really a confrontational person, and I find talking to be tiring sometimes.
I don't know. I'm having some problems with myself, like an existential crisis. As of now, I'm interested in dating, but I'm not really all there most of the time.
Really, I just want companionship, just like Chewie mentioned, but it seems like many my age aren't exactly interested in that type of relationship. If I'm really honest, I just want someone with the same interests as me, which she definitely has a ton in common with me.
Should I just wing it and ask her out despite the way I've been feeling, or should I just wait and let it marinate for a while to get a feeling?
We used to talk a pretty good amount, but after a while, we sort of stopped. I'm sure that it was due to me giving lackluster responses and monotone responses to her advances, so I think she got the wrong idea. I'm not really a confrontational person, and I find talking to be tiring sometimes.
I don't know. I'm having some problems with myself, like an existential crisis. As of now, I'm interested in dating, but I'm not really all there most of the time.
Really, I just want companionship, just like Chewie mentioned, but it seems like many my age aren't exactly interested in that type of relationship. If I'm really honest, I just want someone with the same interests as me, which she definitely has a ton in common with me.
Should I just wing it and ask her out despite the way I've been feeling, or should I just wait and let it marinate for a while to get a feeling?
After the months of knowing her and helping her with her work, I don't know how I failed to get her name down. So strange.
Well, if you have a ton in common but aren't sure how to maybe let another person into your life, try contacting her again. See how she's doing, don't overthink any interaction between the two of you and see if she wants to do something related to those common interests. Be casual about it. Treat her like a friend. If you guys get along like that, there is your companionship. See how you feel if it gets to that point and go from there.
As annoying as people might be right now, silver lining. It seems like everyone just wants to see you happy ☺
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Speaking of getting sick, girl went to see ax doctor and his a virus. She had it when we went it last Friday but thought it went away. She's feeling better now, but I think I caught it from her. Got a sore throat. She said thats where it usually starts.
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
You ain't helping.
Besides, it'd be more like:
Dating-Age |OT6| MikeDipXLeeness You Had Me At "Concensual nonsexual long-term emotional partner"
Key word, invest. Spend a bit extra and get some good jeans. I have a couple of mid-high end pairs that I've been rocking for a couple of years now and they still look great.
User 479360
Banned
Yeah, so I've heard. Friends have been telling me this for years, but I've just never liked them much.
I'm interested in perhaps buying some, but don't want to spend too much. I don't know if I'll like them, and don't want to spend a lot then have to do it again if I gain weight.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I hate jeans. All wear are either linen pants or chinos.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Wranglers. All you need, fellas.
User 479360
Banned
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'd take fashion advice from you. I have literally nothing in between the casual look (jeans, button-up, maybe vest, maybe blazer, with either suede shoes or chukkas) and a suit. D.C.'s a pretty casual city, surprisingly, and jeans are the norm here, but I wouldn't mind something that's a step up.
Ideas?
Also, fellas: invest in a good pair of shoes. Several.
A good pair of Levis will do. I dropped $40-50 on some athletic fit Levis, and I've been happy with them for the months I've had them.
They go good with everything. I wear them every week.
This is casual??
Depends on the jeans. Blue ratty jeans would instantly push this into casual territory. A properly fitted dark pair could be smart casual. Chinos would definitely be. Anything above smart casual requires a suit.
davidwhangchoi
Member
yoga pants and northface jacket =)
Read this. You can find coupon codes if you look, and if you don't want to order from the site, some of the options you can find on Amazon. Dirt cheap. I'm a fan of the Kimono.
http://www.condomdepot.com/reviews/best-condoms.cfm
Well I can say last night went much better. Took a while to work her up to it, but when we got going there was no question about what she wanted. She spent the night too
But...
... the panties weren't hers! Or at least she said so. I did set it up so that it could have been a female friend of mine's, so I doubt she was suspicious. But still, this is so weird. A girl did spend the night on new year's eve, but I dunno how I could have missed the panties in two straight washes?!
Wait, do you mean it's better to ask for her number instead of giving you her number?
Or am I getting this wrong; I always thought that giving my own number (and name) was the better move. That way they can answer if they can/want to, and I made the first move. If they don't answer, well... there's your answer.
Well I can say last night went much better. Took a while to work her up to it, but when we got going there was no question about what she wanted. She spent the night too
But...
... the panties weren't hers! Or at least she said so. I did set it up so that it could have been a female friend of mine's, so I doubt she was suspicious. But still, this is so weird. A girl did spend the night on new year's eve, but I dunno how I could have missed the panties in two straight washes?!
That IS weird.
electricshake
Member
Well I can say last night went much better. Took a while to work her up to it, but when we got going there was no question about what she wanted. She spent the night too
But...
... the panties weren't hers! Or at least she said so. I did set it up so that it could have been a female friend of mine's, so I doubt she was suspicious. But still, this is so weird. A girl did spend the night on new year's eve, but I dunno how I could have missed the panties in two straight washes?!
Is it a communal laundry room? Could someone else have left them there by accident?
No because the thing is that I found it in my own laundry. I have a laundry basket in my apartment which I empty into a bag when I go to the laundry room. I found them as I was taking the laundry out of my own bag to put in the machine.
The only explanation I can think of the new year's eve girl (which my date thinks was my best female friend who stayed the night, but it actually was a online date girl. No reason to tell her because it was before we met), but as I said, how could I have missed it twice? Must have tangled itself into another pair of underwear, but then again why would I wash that pair again without having used it (since it was in my own laundry basket)?
I'll probably just throw them away and forget about it at this point.
Why would you throw it away, you have free new underwear. Keep it.
I'm not going to use those lol
Sorry, everyone here means well but it seems like we overextend when something strikes us as best idea.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Heh, I went to a restaurant a couple weeks ago, and since there's always a waiting time, an older couple were sitting on a bench next to mine. The husband wanted to know where I got my linen pant. $20 on clearance at Banana Republic, the Kentfield pants. Originally $70. Size? 32x34, the only one left. I was LUCKY. Down here in Florida, they're perfect since they're light weight and you won't sweat like a pig.
Guy then asked about my Clark's dark brown suede chukka boots. Other than the chinos, I wear fitted polo shirts from J Crew due to my athletic build. During winter I like to wear my cardigan from J Crew with a grey checkered long sleeve button up shirt underneath it with grey chinos and black shoes.
Date for tomorrow night got cancelled most likely. Since she's sick and took the day off yesterday, she has to make up hours, and work Saturday on her day off and may have to stay late tomorrow night. She said she's sorry for ruining her own surprise. I told her how about Monday, and she said that would work.
Can't be lying, because now I'm fucking sick and got it from her. =\
I'm 25 and 2 years into my relationship. i'm very happy and couldn't have asked for a better "first" real relationship.
The problem is, I have nothing really to compare it too. Things seem to be getting serious, but if they do progress, she could potentially be the only women I ever slept with. I'm not really sure how I should feel about that. Has anyone been/are in a similar position?
The problem is, I have nothing really to compare it too. Things seem to be getting serious, but if they do progress, she could potentially be the only women I ever slept with. I'm not really sure how I should feel about that. Has anyone been/are in a similar position?
Bruce Springsteen
Member
I have a dilemma. I've been seeing this girl for over a month now, we get along and I like her but with Valentine's Day coming up, I'm not comfortable at this stage to hang out with her that day because of the implications that come with that stupid day. It falls on a Sunday so I have no idea what excuse to use to get out of hanging with her that day.
Just do something casual. Grab a pizza and hang out. I doubt she's expecting a big romantic gesture.
Halcyon
Member
Have you slept with this girl? Or is it just like a friendly thing.
Shit, the girl I'm dating for a month's birthday is apparently on the 20th of this month, that's one week after valentine's. If we don't do anything on valentine's we probably should do something in connection to the birthday. If we last to the 20th, do I get her a gift, however insignificant? I'm not going to spend much money, but do you guys think a gift would be appreciated at this stage?
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
Was in the same exact situation with my last girlfriend. We had been "seeing" each other for about a month and her bday was coming up. I just took her to her favorite restaurant for a casual dinner and bought her a $40 present. She really enjoyed it.
I'd really say not to buy anything too expensive. Between the gift and dinner it probably came to around ~$100 but it made her happy and so it was worth it.
Edit: just realized I don't have to worry about Valentine's Day preparation like I did for her bday and Christmas...that's a solid feeling at least haha
Bruce Springsteen
Member
We have, she's also cooked for me a few times
Yes, I was in a six year relationship with my first girl. She had slept with a handful of people, but she was the only girl I had gone that far with. It bothered her quite a bit and is possibly a small part of why we broke up. I think she felt that I surely wanted to sleep with other people, which I found offensive.
Can you be comfortable with the reality that she might be your only one? I felt that I was as long as I was happy with her. Now it's not really an issue since we are no longer together.
I can offer up that the idea of different 'flavors' of people extends about as far as their sex technique, biological sex organ build, and personality - and that's really it. Your emotional bond should take precedence over any desires of wanting to sleep around IMO, if you're happy with your relationship.
Flowers. Chocolate?
Welp. I think I completely fucked things up with the girl I hooked up with last weekend. On the advice of a mutual friend we didn't really chat all week. Instead, I waited until today to ask her to hang out this weekend. Responded with hanging out with a friend from out of town, I said completely understand, what are you doing tonight? I don't have anything going on so I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.
No response.
Goddamn it.
Put the phone down y'all.
No response.
Goddamn it.
Put the phone down y'all.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
What exactly do you think you did wrong? A girl who's into you isn't going to mind that you invited her out since she was occupied. A girl who's not won't care regardless. Just leave the ball in her court. But what you did was fine.
Go to a church function? Haha
It's a Sunday- tell her you made plans with family for dinner if she asks to hang out/expects it. Go actually have dinner with family or order in. You count as your own relative, right? O_O
Bruce Springsteen
Member
I was thinking of using the family excuse, but maybe she feels the same way and I should just say nothing for now and see what happens
Why wouldn't you just talk to her about it?
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