I responded with exactly that, so cheers.
To my surprise she actually asked if I was free this coming Friday, but after her lack of enthusiasm I'm not entirely sure if I should even bother? I'll have to see... :/
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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To my surprise she actually asked if I was free this coming Friday, but after her lack of enthusiasm I'm not entirely sure if I should even bother? I'll have to see... :/
Lone_Prodigy
Member
stn
Member
I don't ask girls out based on whether they like me, I ask them out based on whether I like them. Big difference.
Come on, man. It's just a library. Go sit down and study.
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
You know what sucks? Traveling for work. Don't get me wrong, I love traveling, it's one of my favorite parts of work, but I travel at least once a month for a week every time and it sucks when trying to connect with people. Meet someone awesome, go on a few dates, then have to go away for a week and lose any momentum we had.
Sucks hard.
Not expecting my current fling to last through this upcoming trip either. Going away with almost no hopes and if I come back and it's fine then I'll be surprised
...if not, then on to the next one :shrug:
Sucks hard.
Not expecting my current fling to last through this upcoming trip either. Going away with almost no hopes and if I come back and it's fine then I'll be surprised
...if not, then on to the next one :shrug:99.9% sure she hasn't really worried about it. Live your life and don't worry about this.
SneakersSO
Member
Alright, here's where we gotta start. I can already tell you're inexperienced with women, and this isn't a dig at you, but I want you to understand something that should be sobering & relieving - she probably hasn't brought you up to anyone, and has likely not thought about you since the encounter. Girls get approached a number of times, and many of them aren't memorable to them. She might mention it casually at some point, but nothing you did sounds like it was unusual by any stretch, so I doubt she'd poke fun at you.
Honestly, this is a field where I think doing a bit of reading online, then going out into the field to confirm what you're reading, will do you some good. Gaining an eye for proper social cues for attraction in social situations is important for when you're looking to meet new people & potentially date them. A few weeks ago, I shared a story of a Saturday in NYC where I met two girls who gave me social cues to go up & talk to them, but I didn't act on it. I make eye contact with people all the time, women included. What made eye contact with these two particular women different were the subtle body language cues they gave off during the process.
Honestly, what you did was a big first step. You walked up to a girl you were attracted to, who you thought may be interested in you, and tried to make a move. It didn't work out, but you did the hardest part already: initiating contact. Take that confidence, and try and place yourself into other social settings where you can have interactions with new women that may reciprocate that attraction. And read into body language & how it works. For a lot of people, it comes naturally, but its okay to do some reading & figure out what you don't already know.
ZackieChan
Member
I second all of that. I'll just add that he shouldn't shy away from that library. Fucking own that library. It's yours. You are the boss, homey.
thanks for teh write up, I feel better now guys
The same way you ask out anyone else, whether they're working or not. You go up to her and ask. I wouldn't ask her out when you walk up to her though, tell her you think she's cute and ask for her number.
So I didn't message her for a couple days, then sent one asking if she wanted to meet up. She didn't respond that evening, then early the next day she said she wasn't ready to meet. I was sleeping so didn't see that right away then a few hours later she messaged her number.
So I've texted her a bit the last couple days, mostly about stuff she's been doing this weekend. I've been avoiding asking to many personal questions so that if we meet I'll have something to ask her.
So a couple questions, is that a good approach to texting, or should I just not care and see where it goes? And is she just really guarded about who she gets to know or does it sound like it's just time killing conversation for her? She usually responds promptly, which kinda feels like it's more interest than time killing to me.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Meeting shows interest. Replying promptly to texts means nothing.
Yep, but in this case it wouldn't hurt to ask just one more time as some girls do tend to be cautious about online dating. If she still says no after that though, move on.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Agreed. Try one more time, if it's still a no, time to move on.
I mean, who goes on Tinder and then doesn't want to meet up? Kinda defeats the purpose of the app.
Say you want to take her out on a date, give a note with your number and tell her to text/call you (whichever you prefer). For sure the best way to hit on somebody while they're working because she doesn't have to commit on the spot.
Thanks, was kinda my feeling. I just feel I may be holding on a little longer than I should as options are limited in my location (Northern Canada oil town, with significantly more single males than females)
Lol so a guy responded to my kind questions with "Nothing against you personally but I like women who are very petite like 100 lbs and they seem to like me too. Sorry" what a weird turn down. Just don't respond if you aren't interested wtf.
Hope you all are having better luck, from what I read it seem like some of you are.
Hope you all are having better luck, from what I read it seem like some of you are.
Here's my follow-up to my most recent post in this very thread:
I met up with her at her place and had a decent talk, laughed a lot and fooled around a bit, but neither of us did engage physically, besides some light touching while making jokes.
It went totally fine and I was cautiosly optimistic, although I had to leave after three hours.
Apparently she had to get up pretty early for work the next day, which is why I couldn't have stayed longer, so she said.
On my way back home we texted a bit, how much we enjoyed seeing each other again, etc. but unfortunately the converasation went kinda nowhere and ended, mostly due to her being extremely busy (school and work mostly).
I'd like to see her again, but I don't know if it's worth it.
She definitely will be busy until her exams in late May, so I might have to wait until we'll find a date to meet up.
But this is me still guessing though...
We have a decent amount of stuff in common and there's chemistry between us, but the slowing down during texting in WhatsApp feels like a red-flag for me, still.
I'm going to ask her again anyway, but I'd like to know what you guys think.
I met up with her at her place and had a decent talk, laughed a lot and fooled around a bit, but neither of us did engage physically, besides some light touching while making jokes.
It went totally fine and I was cautiosly optimistic, although I had to leave after three hours.
Apparently she had to get up pretty early for work the next day, which is why I couldn't have stayed longer, so she said.
On my way back home we texted a bit, how much we enjoyed seeing each other again, etc. but unfortunately the converasation went kinda nowhere and ended, mostly due to her being extremely busy (school and work mostly).
I'd like to see her again, but I don't know if it's worth it.
She definitely will be busy until her exams in late May, so I might have to wait until we'll find a date to meet up.
But this is me still guessing though...
We have a decent amount of stuff in common and there's chemistry between us, but the slowing down during texting in WhatsApp feels like a red-flag for me, still.
I'm going to ask her again anyway, but I'd like to know what you guys think.
You're putting way too much investment into texting. For some people it's not that important at all. She probably is one of those people.
Go off her words and actions. Did she say she liked you and wants to see you again? Act on it.
Yep, I have been thinking the same.
In one text she did mention she liked me, but never texted or told me about seeing me again.
Shuggananas
Banned
Don't bother
6 hours trip LDRs are already terrible enough
nope with a side of nope, topped with nope sprinkles.
would you rather he ignored the questions? I think that turn down messages are good.. they keep you grounded. Granted they shouldn't be insulting, and 100 lbs is gross.
more cushion for the pushin' ~
.
If someone likes you, they will make time. Putting things off until May because someone is "too busy" is bullshit, she doesn't have any real interest in you. It takes all of 30 seconds to send a text and she isn't even doing that.
Dude it's fine to have preferences, but calling 100lbs gross is just as insulting saying 200lbs is gross.
Got super-liked on tinder last week and wasn't really blown away by the way the girl looks. I liked her back because, why the fuck not? They're just pictures and I want to focus less on looks. I want to give it a fair shot. I'm 28, she's 20. She starts talking and she appears to be quite alright. We add eachother on whatsapp. Now she just won't stop talking and she comes across as very pushy. I denied one date and the next, but she doesn't seem to get the picture.
Time to go silent, right?
Time to go silent, right?
If you want to give her a fair shot why are you denying her advances to go on a date?
Why don't you take the ball back and set up a date then?
Miles Quaritch
Member
She's 20. Her entire life is probably based around texting or maybe she just loves to talk and that extends to texting too.
If you're no longer interested, tell her you're not interested. Why you gotta be a coward about it?
Uh yeah that's what polite people do, his reply was condescending and felt like it was trying to insult me sneakily. If he ignored I would have already moved on to the next guy. It just came off as gross to me because of the whole "and they seem to like me" which why do I need to know that. He can like 'petite' women all he wants just why did he have to explain to me why he was turning me down? That's what I find weird because I didn't ask why.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Sounds like a dick. Some people just love to put others down and want to make sure they leave their 'mark'.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
If he's going to be like that why waste her time? Ghost her.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Or just tell her he's no longer interested in going on a date. Why ghost her? It's a simple message. Hell, just say...
Hey, I think we're looking for different things. Good luck out there.
Direct and to the point. These silly games of ghosting or breaking plans so the other person gets the 'hint' are signs of someone who lacks a mature mindset.
Depends on what you perceive as a fair shot, of course. I didn't want to judge based on looks alone. That's my "fair shot". On Tinder, there's not much more you can do when swiping.
'Cause I lost interest fairly quickly once we had a conversation going. She tells me EVERYHTING she does, sending me pictures. It's stuff I don't care for and have no interest in.
Reasons, but to keep it short, I have severe issues when it comes to telling women something they don't want to hear. Overthinking, setting my own well-being aside for somebody else's, being afraid of hurting somebody due to fucked up situations in the past, etc... I'm working on that. I've been talking to a therapist for some time now. Might sound like horse shit, and I wish it was, but it's not. So yeah, guess I'm a coward.
EDIT: In hindsight, I should've mentioned that.
Miles Quaritch
Member
You're always going to hurt someone and while I don't prescribe to the mindset of 'just do it', I think you should try to let her down easily if you're worried about hurting her feelings. It's much better than ghosting.
Tell her you're looking for something different or that you don't feel you have a connection. It won't hurt her feelings and she should get the message.
Tell her you're looking for something different or that you don't feel you have a connection. It won't hurt her feelings and she should get the message.
I blew my chance at the cute girl at the Target near my job I walk to all the time, she always talked to me more friendly then normal cashier talked but before I could muster up to asking for her number she stopped working there
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I don't think you should hit on cute retail worker girls because they're being paid to be nice to you, so it'll be really awkward for her if she's not interested. I know dat feel tho. I saw a cute girl that kind of looked like Taylor Swift working in KFC once.
I had to break this whole thing down to a friend. He kept ghosting girls that liked him because he doesn't want a relationship.
Really, he doesn't know what he wants.
SneakersSO
Member
What the? Was this online or via text? How very rude. People get the courage to make the stupidest statements when there is some text field between them & the recipient
Sounds like a weird attempt at negging. He turns you down and undermines your confidence a little so that you pursue him. You'd be trying to regain your confidence or prove you're sexy to a man who rebuked you or some shit like that.
This was done through the pof message system. All I asked was "Hey what kind of ideas do you have for future tattoos?" That's the only thing I sent him.
It is super weird, I have had some guys say the shittiest things to me to turn me down but at least its just simple assholery, this was like... almost calculated? All I replied with was "no problem" and blocked him.
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