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My coworker thinks I'm stalking her because I found her home address on a website

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All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I was with you until the bolded bit. You're okay with someone losing their fucking job and risking their livelihood over a boneheaded mistake?

I'd rather date a girl that stalked me online than a willing participant of a classic GAF dogpile thread.
Stalking is one of the leadups to violence in the work place, violence at work is the largest cause of workplace deaths for women. One employee stalking another is a major red flag, many employers treat it the same way as actual violence at work.

Stalking is not a good thing to do in any context, stalking a coworker is not the kind of thing that managers should look upon lightly, and if somebody gets fired for doing it I'm not going to say "well why didn't you give them another chance?" Everyone knows you don't stalk people, it's not some obscure social norm.
 
Stalking is one of the leadups to violence in the work place, violence at work is the largest cause of workplace deaths for women. One employee stalking another is a major red flag, many employers treat it the same way as actual violence at work.

Stalking is not a good thing to do in any context, stalking a coworker is not the kind of thing that managers should look upon lightly, and if somebody gets fired for doing it I'm not going to say "well why didn't you give them another chance?" Everyone knows you don't stalk people, it's not some obscure social norm.

yeah sure, but looking someone up online is not necessarily stalking

it may be the lead-up to stalking, but not necessarily

telling someone you did it is really dumb tho
 
yeah sure, but looking someone up online is not necessarily stalking

it may be the lead-up to stalking, but not necessarily

telling someone you did it is really dumb tho

Standing outside a house isn't stalking either. Depends on context. In the context of this thread? It's creepy as fuck and drifting into stalking territory. I personally always defined stalking as someone that refuses to accept no for an answer and then keeps going with following/harassing/look ups.

If OP falls back then no stalking. He keeps going despite obvious "I'm not interested" signs? Stalker.
 
I won't be able to move on until OP comes back to either dig himself a deeper hole, or admits he fucked up and learned a valuable lesson.
 
Posting in legendary thread.

What kind of guy would say something like that? lol You fucked up bro.

also, lol at gaf going extreme as usual. Dude made dumb mistake. Still kinda creepy though.
 

LifEndz

Member
Threads like this are why I love gaf. I used to look up classmates on Facebook or myspace, but that website is next level. What the hell, Florida?
 

eso76

Member
At a certain point, yeah.

"Hey, your friend Amanda seems nice, can I get her number?"
"Umm, sure I guess."
"Cool, cool, while you are at it, can I get her home address too."
"Umm, Ok, that's a little much before you even ask her out."
"True, true... but, you know, while we're at it, what about her date of birth."
"Dude, why would you..."
"You know, I should also probably know the make, model and license plate of her car too."
"What does that even..."
"Actually, you know what, you should just give me her WIFI password since I'll be waiting outside her house anyway."
"No. No, you're a weirdo."

Yeah, but to be honest he didn't have to insist with multiple searches to get down to her birthday or address, all the info just popped out at the same time as it would on FB I assume.
Anyway I understand people are paranoid about the kind of info you can find about them online, rightfully so. Psychos everywhere.


But I still want to stress the fact that the wrong move according to most was telling her, not Googling her in first place (because, let's admit it, we know we are being Googled all the time by people we just met). This I think is kind of contradictory.

No. Sorry. Do you really Google every single person you know and look everything you can up about them? Cause I don't. That's some strange shit to me.

Unless I have a very specific reason like trying to get in touch with a childhood friend or something I don't do that silly shit.

Of course not, but I can see why someone would just try random names in a new search engine out of curiosity, and a co-worker is not just any person. I'm sure new co-workers googled me, I just assume people do that all the time.
 
"I mean yeah I put a paper cutout of her face on my pillow but I don't think that makes me creepy. She just has a very relaxing face."

I'm sorry OP. How can you not think of yourself as a stalker when you know what she said in the bathroom?
 

Hari Seldon

Member
Don't ever become a criminal OP. I can't imagine it going well for your being questioned by the cops with that honesty level haha.
 
I personally always defined stalking as someone that refuses to accept no for an answer and then keeps going with following/harassing/look ups.

If OP falls back then no stalking. He keeps going despite obvious "I'm not interested" signs? Stalker.

no disagreements with the part of your post that I quoted here
 

Zocano

Member
Asking questions and talking to the person isn't that hard.

I mean for some people it is.

But I think people are getting hung up with that and I think that is entirely besides the point of just google searching someone just because you are curious that you can. There's a line between intent to find info on someone and just google searching people you know to see what comes up and people seem to think only the former can exist here it seems.

Like I said before, bringing it up so nonchalantly that you looked up info on them is what is creepy and socially inept not the fact that he did it when he was just pitching names of people who knew into the search engine.
 

Shredderi

Member
You fucked up but not because of what most here tell you. You were an idiot for telling her that you looked her up. That is true. But no, no matter how much people here would want to, essentially googling someone does not qualify for stalking. It also dilutes the real meaning of stalking. Your real crime here was being socially awkward enough to not be able to read the situation properly before opening your mouth. Stalking though? Lol get out.
 

Ganhyun

Member
Threads like this are why I love gaf. I used to look up classmates on Facebook or myspace, but that website is next level. What the hell, Florida?

If you look, it has an other states section and has Colorado, North Carolina, Ohio, and Oklahoma as well....
 

Nose Master

Member
I understand op, but come on dude. Hearing that from someone you just met is creepy as hell. You'll be lucky to keep your job.

Protip: don't apologize or bring it up again, and probably stop talking to her.
 

jadedm17

Member
Stalking is one of the leadups to violence in the work place, violence at work is the largest cause of workplace deaths for women. One employee stalking another is a major red flag, many employers treat it the same way as actual violence at work.

Stalking is not a good thing to do in any context, stalking a coworker is not the kind of thing that managers should look upon lightly, and if somebody gets fired for doing it I'm not going to say "well why didn't you give them another chance?" Everyone knows you don't stalk people, it's not some obscure social norm.

Gaf loves to make jumps.

I spent seven seconds adding her name of several to a site I found and used several whole minutes one day months ago; Yesterday while asking my birthday I remembered her birth month since its the same as mine. No other information was retained - I couldnt even spell her last name right now if asked - and the only interaction or thought of this girl is the brief moments we pass at work and I help clear her tables.

The story isnt as exciting as some seem to think it to be but as with GAF and life the story we make in our heads is a lot more fun.
 
But I still want to stress the fact that the wrong move according to most was telling her, not Googling her in first place (because, let's admit it, we know we are being Googled all the time by people we just met). This I think is kind of contradictory.

I guess the way I would characterize the thread is that there is a consensus that telling her was wrong and some debate over looking up the info in the first place. I would say even looking up the info was creepy since (a) the specific info is kind of weird things to want to know about a co-worker and (b) he had just asked her out on a date and been turned down.
 

Soroc

Member
Never tell the girl you looked up her information online. Never, no matter what. Its always going to come off as creepy no matter how innocent it was. You definitely fucked up OP and I'd go out on a limb and say that the girl may have been into you (EDIT: or maybe not?) prior to knowing what she knows now.

Now... Better to move on and keep your distance from her and keep your internet sleuthing to yourself! :p
 
Dunno why OP just didn't say 'lol I just guessed it was the same as yours' or someshit like that. Gotta work on your bullshit fam.
 
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