To give you guys some perspective my female cousin signed up for a dating site last year. She's attractive but not like a 10 or anything. She would literally recive dozens of mesages a day. Some were just propositions for sex, some just said "hey you're cute" and some were angry messages from dudes because she didn't respond to the message they sent yesterday. Eventually she just ignored all her messages and started contacting the guys she wanted to date. So don't feel too bad if you don't get a lot of replies, especially if you're only senting messages to the pretty ones.
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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
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I sense a little exaggeration in the statement, it was a few weeks ago, and it's cut out of the rest of the conversation, but curiosity got the best of me so I went ahead and asked. This is concert girl. Again, this is cut out from the rest of the conversation, and started with her initial response to my first message.
2 out of 117 is kind of ridiculous, but I wouldn't be surprised I guess.
2 out of 117 is kind of ridiculous, but I wouldn't be surprised I guess.
Atramental
Banned
This perspective from your female cousin only solidifies my resolve to not use a dating website.
NihonTiger90
Member
Miguel, I had a similar experience with the girl who just disappeared off OKC last week that I was talking with (and sadly, who was into me).
She had a long profile and most people were simply a) complaining her profile ws too long or b) only interested in sleeping with her. I was the first person who had ever shown a real interest in her on the entire site.
That's the girl I'm taking to a concert on saturday.
We talked on there for about a week, then she had me add her on fb then I got her number shortly afterwards.I'm only really asking because I didn't initiate any of this. She contacted me first, suggested the date, etc., etc. I want to let her down nicely is all
Originally from San Jose and boy do I hate the winter weather up here >.>
Does it matter if I text her or is email better? We were texting each other leading up to the date. Fucking dating etiquette is bitch to get right if you start after a long break.
If you want to let a girl down easy, stop contacting her. Otherwise you're leading her on by feigning interest. If there's no spark, move on.
manipulate
Member
Made me spit out my drink.
And yeah... online dating success rate is SUPER low. It's a pretty good deal/option if you're a girl though, there are overwhelmingly more dudes than girls.
TheSchwab_7
Member
Hanging out with a bro is a great way to feel better and get yourself in a better mood. Played some madden and got my mind off things for a couple hours. Way better than sitting in my dorm alone thats for sure.
BoobPhysics101
Banned
So basically I'm beating myself up because I'm in love with my ex-gf and I pretty much figured out that I want to be with her and not other girls. But she's heartbroken because I cheated on her and she doesn't want to let me back in because she thinks I'll do it again, even though I do not want to go down that path again. This sucks...
TheSchwab_7
Member
How long have you been broken up?
BoobPhysics101
Banned
Like a week...:\
manipulate
Member
If you were all in love and stuff she'll probably take you back dude. Perseverance!
How badly did you cheat on her, btw? Just a random hook up or some kind of continuous thing? There's a pretty big difference.
How badly did you cheat on her, btw? Just a random hook up or some kind of continuous thing? There's a pretty big difference.
BoobPhysics101
Banned
The first time (half a year ago) was with one girl a few times. And then there was a random hookup... but she doesn't understand, I'm not going for strike 3. I really want this to work, even though it'll be fucking hard. And yeah, I understand why she's hurt... I'd be hurt too... really regret all of it.
CherryWoodFuton
Member
Dude more than once???? This relationship is not salvageable IMO.
This isn't baseball.
You broke her trust twice. She has absolutely no reason to trust you not to do it again. It sounds like you get why she's acting like she is. If you do, just let it go.
BoobPhysics101
Banned
So you think that even we put these mistakes behind us and if I show her that it isn't going to happen again and I work hard to make things right + earn her trust back, I'm still fucked?
So yeah, here's something different, but I feel like this is the right place to post it.
I'm afraid I fucked up a friendship pretty bad and it feels really bad. So, first things first, I met this girl at a party a few months back and we hit it off pretty good. She said she wasn't interested in my sexually and I was okay with that, since I'm not actively searching for love or something. Anyway, we kept talking on the party and the day after I added her on Facebook and since then we were chatting/playing games (she's a huge Age of Empires fan) just about every day. I really started to like her and started to care for her deeply. Of course I knew she wasn't interested in me, so I didn't try anything aside from some joke-flirtations.
Anyway, flashforward to a week back. We were going to the filming of a Dutch talk show and I offered to go and have dinner somewhere beforehand. She agreed and that evening we went to the Burger King (very classy, I know). That's where things started to go wrong, because I had no control over myself and started acting really annoying halfway through and this went on throughout the evening/night. I kept hanging around here and the day after she complained about me not giving her enough space. I apologized and everything seemed okay, but I noticed her attitude towards me had changed considerably. Her reactions were cold and our conversations weren't quite as lively as they were before. I could sense there was something about to go wrong... and that happened yesterday.
I was just talking to her about a party next tuesday to which we're going. I offered to get something to eat like the last time (again, Burger King), but she refuses. Then I made the big mistake of asking her why and she just flipped. She said that I have to look for someone else to pass the time with, because she's supposedly sick of being used by me as a time-waster. I tell her that isn't true and that I would never treat a friend that way. And that was it for her. She started ranting about what we have isn't friendship and said that while she thinks I'm nice, she would never want to be friends with me. Which struck me as quite odd.
Then she said she was going to sleep, but I noticed that she was just using this as an excuse to stop talking to me, so I confronted her about it, which lead to her saying that I'm acting like a girl and that I should just leave her alone and after that she went on full ignore-mode. This only got worse when she messaged her ex some time later that he should say to me (through Facebook) that "I should leave her alone forever and that she never liked me to start with".
Het ex kept assuring me that she's just like that sometimes and that she will probably calm down in a few days, but I feel really bad about it. As I said, I care for her a lot and I'm already quite fragile emotion-wise, so this hurt me quite bad. Hell, I could hardly sleep last night. What do you guys suppose I should do? Shall I just wait it out and see if I can talk to her again in a few days? Or should I just try to forget all about her?
I'm afraid I fucked up a friendship pretty bad and it feels really bad. So, first things first, I met this girl at a party a few months back and we hit it off pretty good. She said she wasn't interested in my sexually and I was okay with that, since I'm not actively searching for love or something. Anyway, we kept talking on the party and the day after I added her on Facebook and since then we were chatting/playing games (she's a huge Age of Empires fan) just about every day. I really started to like her and started to care for her deeply. Of course I knew she wasn't interested in me, so I didn't try anything aside from some joke-flirtations.
Anyway, flashforward to a week back. We were going to the filming of a Dutch talk show and I offered to go and have dinner somewhere beforehand. She agreed and that evening we went to the Burger King (very classy, I know). That's where things started to go wrong, because I had no control over myself and started acting really annoying halfway through and this went on throughout the evening/night. I kept hanging around here and the day after she complained about me not giving her enough space. I apologized and everything seemed okay, but I noticed her attitude towards me had changed considerably. Her reactions were cold and our conversations weren't quite as lively as they were before. I could sense there was something about to go wrong... and that happened yesterday.
I was just talking to her about a party next tuesday to which we're going. I offered to get something to eat like the last time (again, Burger King), but she refuses. Then I made the big mistake of asking her why and she just flipped. She said that I have to look for someone else to pass the time with, because she's supposedly sick of being used by me as a time-waster. I tell her that isn't true and that I would never treat a friend that way. And that was it for her. She started ranting about what we have isn't friendship and said that while she thinks I'm nice, she would never want to be friends with me. Which struck me as quite odd.
Then she said she was going to sleep, but I noticed that she was just using this as an excuse to stop talking to me, so I confronted her about it, which lead to her saying that I'm acting like a girl and that I should just leave her alone and after that she went on full ignore-mode. This only got worse when she messaged her ex some time later that he should say to me (through Facebook) that "I should leave her alone forever and that she never liked me to start with".
Het ex kept assuring me that she's just like that sometimes and that she will probably calm down in a few days, but I feel really bad about it. As I said, I care for her a lot and I'm already quite fragile emotion-wise, so this hurt me quite bad. Hell, I could hardly sleep last night. What do you guys suppose I should do? Shall I just wait it out and see if I can talk to her again in a few days? Or should I just try to forget all about her?
BoobPhysics101
Banned
She sounds like a touchy douche that has no idea how to handle being friends with a guy and will overreact to imaginary crossed boundaries. That being said, you shouldn't have gone into 'annoying-mode' because that obviously changed the chemistry between you two.
Find a better female friend and learn from her.
Yeah, I know. I had little control over myself that evening and I hate myself for it. I kinda wish I could go back and fix it, but what's done has been done, I just hope we can go back to being friendly with each other.
Pretty much, yeah. I'd move on and if I were you I'd try to avoiding making the same mistake again with another girl.
Did you promise her this the first time you cheated? If you did, and after that you cheated again, why would she trust you again? I don't mean to sound like a jackass, but if a girl cheated on me twice, I would get the hell out of the relationship.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Hahaha, the flowers worked apparently.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
Fucking hell, it seems so much easier for girls. Talk about take your pick.
You don't love her.
Well, here I am with contact lenses on me for the first time Feels pretty good, not at all like what I expected. Can't wait to see (heh) the reactions. Only downside is no super vision improvement due to odd eye error. Still considering laser surgery, but I'm too lazy to look up prices
Feels pretty good, not at all like what I expected. Can't wait to see (heh) the reactions. Only downside is no super vision improvement due to odd eye error. Still considering laser surgery, but I'm too lazy to look up prices NihonTiger90
Member
Good news: woke up and fund several new profile views on my OKC profile.
Bad news: not a single message. Gotta keep plugging away, I guess.
Bad news: not a single message. Gotta keep plugging away, I guess.
I think we need more context here - how exactly were you 'really annoying'? You must have been acting pretty bizarrely to get this sort of reaction.
Yup. Clearly your messages are catching their interest. What's your profile look like?
So what's the consensus on dating two women at the same time? Has anyone done it? Got some random girls phone number on weekend and she wants to have a date, but I'm already seeing the law student.
Might have to bail out on the random girl since things are going really well with the other one. Third date coming tomorrow, went for the kiss last time so there's definitely something here.
Might have to bail out on the random girl since things are going really well with the other one. Third date coming tomorrow, went for the kiss last time so there's definitely something here.
If by 'dating' you mean that you're pursing a serious relationship then I would not see two women at the same time, that's called being a doucebag.
If it's more of a... go on a first/second date with each one and then make a decision sort of thing then I don't think it's a big deal. If you're going to try to be with both of them for a longer period of time you should probably let them know you aren't being exclusive to them.
If it's more of a... go on a first/second date with each one and then make a decision sort of thing then I don't think it's a big deal. If you're going to try to be with both of them for a longer period of time you should probably let them know you aren't being exclusive to them.
brucewaynegretzky
Member
Nah just read the description. He's fine. You can't possibly know enough about these girls to be really dedicated to either of them. You're just trying to get to know people. Nothing dishonest there.
theignoramus
Member
I just bombed it with a girl I was working on via text. my fault, i said something that sounded piggish, now that i think about it. seems like i have an unnaturally hard time making anything go somewhere with someone and it really really sucks.
edit: hang on a minute. I may have spoke too soon.......
I just talked this girl into talking me into spitting something for her...oh boy. I havnt rapped in almost a half dozen years, lol.
edit: hang on a minute. I may have spoke too soon.......
I just talked this girl into talking me into spitting something for her...oh boy. I havnt rapped in almost a half dozen years, lol.
If you're early in the dating there should be no committal to a single person. It's 100% fine. I've done it, never caused any problem. Any girl that gets attached to you so quickly that she'd have a problem with that sort of behavior is bound to cause issues no matter what.
Although I'm also going places right now, holy crap I've had a lot of views on profiles from the girls I've messaged. It's actually been a bit weird because I'm getting dozens of 10/10s (my personal taste) to view my profile but very very few messages.
Be careful with knee jerk reactions to what you believe may have been crossing the line. Don't go second guessing yourself.
Welcome to online dating. They check your profile to see if they want to know you better. If not, they won't message you. Online is a numbers game. Even if you have a good profile (photos are most important) you still need to do a lot of messaging to get a decent number of responses. The hotter the woman, the lower your chances.
Not sure if you guys remember the backstory to this but here it goes...
About 3 weeks ago I was put in the friend zone. I started avoiding hanging out with this girl despite the close bond we developed.
Recently she asked me on facebook why she doesn't see me anymore. I told her i'm a busy guy. She flirtatiously told me I was full of my self. I responded by saying I still wouldn't mind seeing her. She said I should text her cuz she got a new phone.
I'm still avoiding her when I can. I don't care at this point. I can tell it hurts her but I honestly could not give a shit.
Last night my friend told me we were meeting up with her to smoke. We went into her car. She let my friend drive because she wasn't sober and sat in the back with me and another friend. She started hitting me and telling me that i'm an asshole for hurting her. Later on she started kissing me on the cheek repeatedly.
This is some fucking crazy bullshit. I don't even think she likes me either she's just naturally flirtatious so despite the flirting I can't even tell if she likes me intimately or not.
Still don't care. I don't care if this destroys her psychological state. I have no desire for her. Part of me is doing this because I KNOW it hurts her honestly. But is that really wrong of me?
Is it wrong of me to hurt a girl psychologically by phasing her out of my life?
About 3 weeks ago I was put in the friend zone. I started avoiding hanging out with this girl despite the close bond we developed.
Recently she asked me on facebook why she doesn't see me anymore. I told her i'm a busy guy. She flirtatiously told me I was full of my self. I responded by saying I still wouldn't mind seeing her. She said I should text her cuz she got a new phone.
I'm still avoiding her when I can. I don't care at this point. I can tell it hurts her but I honestly could not give a shit.
Last night my friend told me we were meeting up with her to smoke. We went into her car. She let my friend drive because she wasn't sober and sat in the back with me and another friend. She started hitting me and telling me that i'm an asshole for hurting her. Later on she started kissing me on the cheek repeatedly.
This is some fucking crazy bullshit. I don't even think she likes me either she's just naturally flirtatious so despite the flirting I can't even tell if she likes me intimately or not.
Still don't care. I don't care if this destroys her psychological state. I have no desire for her. Part of me is doing this because I KNOW it hurts her honestly. But is that really wrong of me?
Is it wrong of me to hurt a girl psychologically by phasing her out of my life?
Meh don't care.
I have other girls in my life.
4 girls came into my room and wanted to watch porn with me for some reason....
There were three dudes sitting on my bed in the back feeling awkward.
One of the dudes was like "I feel uncomfortable."
I turned around and said, "Pay attention dammit this is good for you!"
brucewaynegretzky
Member
So wait... you like this gir? And you're avoiding her? Just because she isn't interested? That's pretty shitty. Why not just hang out with the damn girl? She probably has friends. You also probably have a good time when you're with her, or you wouldn't hang out with her in a group. This whole philosophy of "If she's not interested I don't want to have anything to do with her" makes no sense to me. She didn't do anything wrong by not being interested in you....
She used to hang out with me and another friend every day. Now we both avoid her. She moved on to hanging out with some other guy.
You act like i'm a "bad person" for doing this. So what i'm obligated to be around her? I'm not doing anything wrong by just dropping anything.
theignoramus
Member
she's invited me out for a drink at this seedy (no pun) hotel. lol. we've talked for the last two days and I still havnt bothered asking what this girl does for a living. some kind of consultant, but that could mean anything lol.
If you're barely at first base, you don't owe anyone anything and shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. Back when I was dating, I'd been to third base with a girl when I had 'the talk' with her telling her that I was going to go exclusive with someone else. She took it really well and said she was dating someone else too (which I was happy for). Years later, I found out we had a mutual friend, and the girl I dated back then said nothing but good things about me to our mutual friend, so she appreciated the heads up instead of the 'poof' disappearing act.
You're not obligated to do anything and neither is she.
Well of course. That's why i'm moving on and hanging out with other girls instead.
brucewaynegretzky
Member
Didn't say you were a "bad person" at all. What I said is I don't get how her not being interested in you romantically completely changed your perception of her. If she was cool enough for you to like why isn't she cool enough to chill with as a normal person?
Because she physically hits me for pretty much no reason last time I saw her?
What are you doing when she's hitting you? Smiling and nodding?
NihonTiger90
Member
Been working on improving it here and there. It was pretty basic to start with but I'm adding in a lot more as I see other profiles on the site. I'm also trying to work on it to make it so it incorporates some of my personality.
ugh! i hate making a profile cause i hate talking about myself. i try to be laid back and funny in my profile cause that's me irl but i think 99% of the girls just look at your pics and move on. :\
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