Pie and Beans
Look for me on the local news, I'll be the guy arrested for trying to burn down a Nintendo exec's house.
You know why I don't know what it's like to be unemployed? Because I always took whatever job I could get, my first job at university was to photocopy handouts for the lecturers, shit sucked. Before uni I worked part time in a newsagents (for less than the minimum wage no less) while I was at college, that was a terrible job but I wanted the money and it was the only job I could get at 16. My parents aren't wealthy and they couldn't afford my travel costs to college as well as my social life like my friends. Sucked for me because I would spend all of Saturday and Wednesday afternoons in a shitty newsagents earning £4.25/h (cash!).
I don't think you really understand what shitty jobs are. Theyre certainly not office work photocopying things or even retail job. They're working in a fish factory, cleaning toilets, door to door sales work. You're from a different world, you'll never understand the otherside of the bullshit you sometimes spout.
In other news, although not terribly on topic, the Leveson Inquiry McMullan stuff from today was amazing.
He was a journalism student with Michael Gove.
"I'm quite pleased to say I finished at the top of my class and he finished at the bottom end and he's now minister for education."
I felt slightly proud that I had written something that created a riot and got a paediatrician beaten up.
He was asked to track down the woman who took John Major's virginity and found her in France.
"We found her but couldn't get picture of her with her new boyfriend. I think the cleaner was in so I blagged my way in and pinched it off the mantlepiece. Rebekah Brooks said 'No, put it back we're not allowed to nick stuff', but Piers [Morgan - former editor of the News of the World] said 'Well done'."
I absolutely loved giving chase to celebrities. Before Diana died it was such good fun. How many jobs can you have car chases in? It was great.
McMullan says he regrets the stories he did on Jennifer Elliott, the daughter of actor Denholm Elliott.
She became a drug user and started begging following the death of her father and the News of the World exposed this.
"I really regret it because I'd got to know her very well and I really quite liked her. The fact she was begging outside Chalk Farm station came from a police officer, who had been surprised when he asked her to move on.
I went too far on that story. Someone crying out for help, not crying out for a News of the World reporter.
I then took her back to her flat and took a load of pictures of her topless."
Privacy is for paedos; fundamentally nobody else needs it.
Panto villain season kicked off in style!!