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[Croc]

Among other things i would never use no homo if not when joking with friends because i know there are hypersensitive people where you have to watch every single letter before saying anything.

"Hey what you said was offensive for me even though its litteral meaning isn't and you didn't say it to offend me neither so stop using it because i am offended"
"Well guess who has a problem me or you?"

"No homo" is like a 100% perfect example of something having more than just a single literal meaning, whether you intend it to or not.

Are you stubborn enough that you automatically blame the problem on the other person being oversensitive and won't even entertain the thought of ridding a single phrase from your vocabulary that offends people and makes them uncomfortable?

 

[Red_Man]

I'm imagining so many of the Bish "Banned" gifs in real life and it is fucking glorious.

 

[exYle]

Exactly. I mean, if you're not gay - great. Do your thing. But it shouldn't be seen as something you need to clarify or else *shock horror* a gatling gun that fires hard cocks is going to be aimed directly into your face.

HAHAHAHAHAAHA

 

[Amory]

Using the term "no homo" makes you sound like the biggest fucking tool in the entire world. It quite literally makes me cringe when I hear it.

It's like when little kids interact with peers of the opposite sex, and then give themselves a cootie shot. Except instead of children, it's massively insecure douchebags.

 

[Loofy]

I don't see anything contradictory in this.

1) I think its odd that someone might confuse chocolates for a sexual advance, in this context.

2) I think its odd that someone might insist on reminding people that they are straight when they give chocolates.

"I give out chocolates to male colleagues all the time, it doesnt mean Im flirting with them" = "I give out chocolates to male colleagues all the time, no homo"

For the record I do think it is offensive, only cause I thought the term homo was offensive. Isnt it?
If someone said 'Speaking as a heterosexual male, I think you got nicely sculted pectoral muscles.' Then I see nothing wrong with that.

 

[SapientWolf]

It's derogatory towards homosexuals and has no place in a classroom. You don't need a sexuality disclaimer when sharing holiday chocolates with classmates.

I think "Yes, homo" would have been more funny but possibly even more inappropriate.

 

[Marvie_3]

Nice work, bish.

 

[bishoptl]

I don't know the dynamic of your class and how well they know each other. Sounds like it could have been insensitive or it could have been a joke/teasing.

"the only way I could salvage the class" A little dramatic, don't you think?

Honest question? I don't think so - it got real quiet, real fast. Using that silence to talk to everyone about the situation and squash it so we could get back to work felt like (in my estimation) the best way to get things back on track.

 

[Devolution]

This is how the talk went, don't let him fool you.

 

[kirby_fox]

I've never had a reason to say no homo. And I've told male friends I loved them.

Being comfortable with your own sexuality vs. being afraid to be labeled something you aren't. Don't care if someone thinks I'm gay or not, let them think what they want because it doesn't change who I am.

...sad thing is these grad students are probably close to my age. I have no faith in my own generation.

 

[Amory]

Is it possible the person was using the phrase in a stupid attempt to be ironic?

 

[oneils]

"I give out chocolates to male colleagues all the time, it doesnt mean Im flirting with them" = "I give out chocolates to male colleagues all the time, no homo"

One goes without saying because I'm not stupid and neither are the people I work with (I only said it here because it seems like it actually needs to be said. Which really surprises me). The other is said because I am dumb, I guess, and assume that my colleagues are dumb. Don't you see the difference?

For the record I do think it is offensive, only cause I thought the term homo was offensive. Isnt it?

If someone said 'Speaking as a heterosexual male, I think you got nicely sculted pectoral muscles.' Then I see nothing wrong with that.

I actually don't know whether it is offensive or not. I personally don't find it offensive. I just think its plain dumb. If anyone walked around my office handing chocolates out with no homo labels on them I would conclude that they are pretty dumb. So, I guess you could say that I think the expression is redundant and dumb. Does that make sense?

If a man told me he thought I had nice legs I would say thanks! I would not assume they were gay. That's the thing that confuses me about the whole no homo expression. I tell the admin assistants at work that I think their new hairdo looks great but I don't feel compelled to remind them that I am not making a sexual advance.

 

[Dynedom]

My god. Glorious. Un-junior this guy asap!

 

[bishoptl]

Is it possible the person was using the phrase in a stupid attempt to be ironic?

No. That was the first question I put to him, because - as Wolves Evolves alluded to on page one - game design students can display a somewhat esoteric type of humour. He admitted that he jokingly didn't want any guys hitting on him.

 

[-Pyromaniac-]

What a jerk. Everyone knows you're supposed to use "Pause" in public. Or something. I haven't been slanging it in the real world since I was 14.

 

[mr2xxx]

Is it possible the person was using the phrase in a stupid attempt to be ironic?

Seems like that is what happened, if it was someone taking it wrong was such a concern you wouldn't pass out candy to a class full of males. Seems like he just wanted to make a joke and the chocolates were the vessel for it.

 

[Huff]

Honest question? I don't think so - it got real quiet, real fast. Using that silence to talk to everyone about the situation and squash it so we could get back to work felt like (in my estimation) the best way to get things back on track.

The kid could be a fucking dumbass.

But I can also see it as somekind of inside or longstanding joke between the class, especially if it's smaller and everyone knows each other well. No Homo gets used a lot in mine, but it's almost always coming from our flamboyantly open gay classmate, who is saying it to be ironic or funny. The way I might hit on him in front of a crowd to be funny.

 

[Alucrid]

Oh, I forgot the most important question of them all. Milk or dark?

 

[mr2xxx]

I think "Yes, homo" would have been more funny but possibly even more inappropriate.

It'd be much better if it was mixed with both, the guys who got the no homo will get into a deep depression and wonder why no one likes them.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

Yeah, this. The phrase "no homo" isn't anti-gay.

No = anti.
homo = gay.

It is INHERENTLY anti gay, as it assumes that any possible assumption of gayness is a negative that needs to be corrected before that thought can even be spoken into existence. But I mean, just looking at words, and what they mean, arguing that the phrase "no homo" isn't negative towards homosexuals in any way seems ridiculous.

It's also a phrase that is condescending and assumptive as hell.

 

[LeleSocho]

"No homo" is like a 100% perfect example of something having more than just a single literal meaning, whether you intend it to or not.

Are you stubborn enough that you automatically blame the problem on the other person being oversensitive and won't even entertain the thought of ridding a single phrase from your vocabulary that offends people and makes them uncomfortable?

That's the problem... you think that it's like that when i and a lot of other people don't... so yes if you have confirmation that the person that said it intended something else and yet you have still problem with this then it's your and yours only problem. If it makes you uncomfortable i can only think that (in this particular case) you have more problem with your sexuality than i have with yours which again it's a yours only problem.

 

[shintoki]

Nice Work!

 

[ultim8p00]

I'm pretty sure he meant to say he loves whoever he was passing the chocolates to, but not in a romantic way. That's what no homo means.

I don't think he was trying to say no homosexuals. Poor word choices, but I'm not sure his intent was to offend anyone. Probably thought it was funny joke.

 

[Deadpandas]

So is grduate student an American thing? an doesn't "lit them up" mean you set them on fire?

 

[Orayn]

That's the problem... you think that it's like that when i and a lot of other people don't... so yes if you have confirmation that the person that said it intended something else and yet you have still problem with this then it's your and yours only problem. If it makes you uncomfortable i can only think that (in this particular case) you have more problem with your sexuality than i have with yours which again it's a yours only problem.

So how far do you take the idea that it's everyone else's responsibility to know the intended meaning and not get offended? Do you agree with Louis CK's bit about using slurs as long as you don't "mean" them in a slur kind of way?

So is grduate student an American thing? an doesn't "lit them up" mean you set them on fire?

Grad student = Already graduated with a degree in some topic, doing further research/study as a post-graduate.

And yes, Bish metaphorically lit the kid on fire, presumably by putting him on the spot and criticizing him in front of the whole class.

 

[Devolution]

I'm pretty sure he meant to say he loves whoever he was passing the chocolates to, but not in a romantic way. That's what no homo means.

I don't think he was trying to say no homosexuals. Poor word choices, but I'm not sure his intent was to offend anyone. Probably thought it was funny joke.

The whole phrase is indicative of some sort of insecurity about a presumption of homosexuality. Who the fuck cares. You can love a friend. Cut the crap about "no homo" out.

 

[LeleSocho]

No = anti.
homo = gay.

It is INHERENTLY anti gay, as it assumes that any possible assumption of gayness is a negative that needs to be corrected before that thought can even be spoken into existence. But I mean, just looking at words, and what they mean, arguing that the phrase "no homo" isn't negative towards homosexuals in any way seems ridiculous.

You said it yourself. It simply means negation (no) of homosexuality (homo) there isn't written anywhere that the word No means "negation because it's bad" it simply means NO, negation, opposite of what is the next word. period.

 

[oneils]

So is grduate student an American thing? an doesn't "lit them up" mean you set them on fire?

North American thing, I guess. It means that they have completed undergraduate studies and are now pursuing a graduate degree (advanced degree like masters or doctorate, er I'm guessing you know this part).

Light them up means to fire your weapon at someone. But in this context the weapon is bish's words chewing the guy out.

 

[oneils]

So how far do you take the idea that it's everyone else's responsibility to know the intended meaning and not get offended? Do you agree with Louis CK's bit about using slurs as long as you don't "mean" them in a slur kind of way?



Grad student = Already graduated with a degree in some topic, doing further research/study as a post-graduate.

And yes, Bish metaphorically lit the kid on fire, presumably by putting him on the spot and criticizing him in front of the whole class.

I think a lot of people may be misinterpreting Louis CK's joke. If you watch it to the end, the punch line is that people are responsible for the shitty words that they use. Its kind of a long joke and tends to get misinterpreted. He subverts first 90% of it in the last few seconds or so (starts with faggot, moves to cunt, and then nigger).

edit: at around 2:45 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuLrBLxbLxw I can't find the whole joke in one clip. Its kind of split up.

2nd edit: found a better link. Its basically a 6 minute joke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Vj2iQSeboA

 

[LeleSocho]

So how far do you take the idea that it's everyone else's responsibility to know the intended meaning and not get offended?

As long as i know what intended the people who said the words and i've checked the litteral meaning of them

 

[ultim8p00]

The whole phrase is indicative of some sort of insecurity about a presumption of homosexuality. Who the fuck cares. You can love a friend. Cut the crap about "no homo" out.

Yeah, I know. Calm down.

All I was saying is that he probably didn't mean to say anything malicious. A bit like when people say "that's gay" without actually hating gay people. They just never really think about the implications of what they are saying.

 

[Oxirane]

The chocolates probably would have prevented the horrible flight experience that Jeff Cannata had.

Jeff Cannata Story

 

[Pineconn]

No = anti.

That is your mistake. "No" in this case means "I am not" or, in other contexts, "it is not," etc. Not once have I ever heard "no homo" to mean anything anti-gay. Possible usage:

"I love sausage. No homo."
"Blow into your instrument to warm it up. No homo."

This is honestly way bigger of a deal than it really is. It's slang. Is it of bad taste? Maybe. But it isn't a gay slur in the literal sense.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

You said it yourself. It simply means negation (no) of homosexuality (homo) there isn't written anywhere that the word No means "negation because it's bad" it simply means NO, negation, opposite of what is the next word. period.

Negation of Homosexuality is a positive thing, then. Okay.

The whole phrase is indicative of some sort of insecurity about a presumption of homosexuality.

Exactly. You don't say "No Homo" unless you're worried someone might think you're gay. Insecurities are inherently negative.

Words mean things. Telling people that the nice thing you're doing is absolutely NOT to be construed as anything homosexual means not being percieved as gay is a priority, a CONCERN. Why would that possibly be a concern if you weren't insecure/worried by the mere concept of being mistaken for a gay person?

 

[LeleSocho]

Negation of Homosexuality is a positive thing, then. Okay.

So other than no I guess you don't know what the word context mean either uh?

just to put this clear: Negation of homosexuality where referred to the act of giving that box to bish
"there is negation of homosexuality in this my act of giving you this box of chocolate"

 

[Devolution]

Yeah, I know. Calm down.

All I was saying is that he probably didn't mean to say anything malicious. A bit like when people say "that's gay" without actually hating gay people. They just never really think about the implications of what they are saying.

If he thinks it's harmless he just got taught a lesson. It's not harmless. It's an inherently negative association.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

I guess you don't know what the word context mean either uh?

No, I understand it perfectly fine. There's a fair amount of weaseling being done in order to justify this stupid bit of meathead slang, and I'm simply pointing out how easy it is to reduce it back to it's core elements of negativity and insecurity.

Because words fucking mean things. That people don't want to think about that too deeply doesn't change the core truth at the center of the choices being made.

 

[Croc]

That's the problem... you think that it's like that when i and a lot of other people don't... so yes if you have confirmation that the person that said it intended something else and yet you have still problem with this then it's your and yours only problem. If it makes you uncomfortable i can only think that (in this particular case) you have more problem with your sexuality than i have with yours which again it's a yours only problem.

Buddy; society has been telling me since the day that I was born that my sexuality is abnormal and occasionally even wrong. It's taken years for me and thousands of other people to come to terms with who we really are, and to even muster up the courage to be proud of it and tell the people close to us in one single moment what took us years to figure out.

Trust me, I have no. fucking. problem. with my sexuality. I just don't appreciate when people treat "no homo" as some innocent joke that has no repercussions, and tell ME that I shouldn't be offended by a joke that belittles something at the very core of who I am.

 

[Devolution]

The sad thing is a college graduate hasn't matured beyond stupid high school hang ups.

 

[MrToughPants]

I can picture Bish rolling as a Half-Orc Swashbuckler.

 

[Orayn]

I think a lot of people may be misinterpreting Louis CK's joke. If you watch it to the end, the punch line is that people are responsible for the shitty words that they use. Its kind of a long joke and tends to get misinterpreted. He subverts first 90% of it in the last few seconds or so (starts with faggot, moves to cunt, and then nigger).

edit: at around 2:45 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuLrBLxbLxw I can't find the whole joke in one clip. Its kind of split up.

Yeah, I meant to address the way people sometimes invoke that sketch as a defense. It's kind of like the way people try to use this image as validation for being "anti-PC":

...While conveniently ignoring everything about Stephen Fry and the attitudes he actually espouses.

 

[heliosRAzi]

I'm surprised this thread hasn't been inundated with the usual meme

 

[IrrelevantNotch]

I don't see a problem with it.

 

[base shagohod]

Did you put on a Samuel L. mask first?

This legit made me laugh loud enough to wake the neighbors.

 

[Rookje]

Blame this guy

 

[oneils]

Yeah, I meant to address the way people sometimes invoke that sketch as a defense. It's kind of like the way people try to use this image as validation for being "anti-PC":

...While conveniently ignoring everything about Stephen Fry and the attitudes he actually espouses.

Ah ok, gotcha. Yeah I see people take that Fry quote way out of context as well. People are waaaay too literal. Context matters. Particularly in the case that bishop has described.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

Also, when did the term "homo" stop being a gay slur? Because it sure as fuck was one when I was in middle/high school throughout the 90s.

 

[TimeEffect]

He didn't mean anything offensive by it, if he did he wouldn't have handed out chocolate to a presumably male dominated class. But he's either really comfortable with that class or straight up stupid. I just hope you didn't ruin Valentine's Day forever for him. But maybe he needed a good wake up call, better you than an employer.

If that was me, I'd bury myself and never want to see anybody ever again.

Maybe you should speak to him again? Did you end things coldly? The lesson you taught is great, but I hope he actually learned something and doesn't only think of resentment

 

[Poyunch]

I honestly thought you got high with one of your students.

 

[goil]

The people who don't see the problem should probably try looking at it from a different perspective. Handing out chocolates with that on them implies that if a gay person were to do the same, it would be a cause for concern.
Also, this isn't a casual environment with close friends. Just because he knows the people in his class doesn't mean he knows everything about them. Doing that in a work environment could get him fired. It's better he learns this lesson now.