I can't remember who it was, but someone said that death is the core motivator, or lies at the end of all of our reasoning for everything that we do. I don't think that's necessarily true for everyone, but maybe because I'm inclined to think symbolically, or to view the world through the lens of my self-assessment of 'meaning', I identify with that perspective. I think it's maybe a result of taking intuitive leaps, if you vault far enough at the end is always 'death'. The energy that creates a sense of urgency and my reason for expending any effort at all on this course is an awareness that death exists. So presented that way it's kind of like I don't have a choice, maybe. That said the simplest joys are often the best, I think there's a strong danger of seeing the narrative of your life in the vein of some grave importance.