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[Estellex]

I can't chime in about China, since I am ignorant about the markets generally and do not read about business stuff . But it's very interesting to read!





My whole life from preschool to 12th grade.



Never have plans that day. Our family doesn't do holidays.

I am surprised that your parents purposely went out of their way to make food for you. I understand if it was a time before you went to Highschool, but all the way up to 12th grade? They could have taught you how to cook for yourself instead of waking up early to make food for you during your Highschool years.

 

[Estellex]

Well, yeah? But they didn't. They wanted me to focus on school. I never cleaned either.

I taught myself to cook, after college, and hired a housekeeper. Asian love can be a bit crippling.

Actually, I assume most families don't teach their kids to cook anymore, or nothing basic the basics.

Learning how to cook for yourself wouldn't detract you from school. It is a basic survival skill. I don't see the logic for this, it is like they spoon fed you to do his and it probably took a toll on their health. Waking up at 3:00 AM repeatedly can't be healthy.

I honestly don't see how it would distract you from school though. Would making food for yourself really hinder you all that much? The cleaning part is iffy. I assumed they wouldn't have to go out of their way and wake up early just to clean. I am just trying to understand their logic.

With all due respect, did you extend the courtesy to your parents by asking them to teach you how to cook so they wouldn't have to do it for you?

Most families do teach their kids how to cook. What is that Chinese saying? Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

That sort of thing.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Well, yeah? But they didn't. They wanted me to focus on school. I never cleaned either.

I taught myself to cook, after college, and hired a housekeeper. Asian love can be a bit crippling.

Actually, I assume most families don't teach their kids to cook anymore, or nothing basic the basics.

I cook and clean all by myself.

 

[Estellex]

I asked them as kids but my dad just said that I could hire a housekeeper.

Don't really mind though, the food I like eating isn't what my mom cooks.



Is that normal in middle/upper middle class families? Serious question.

Again with all due respect ma'am, I just wanted to inquire more into this. You should have insisted to cook instead of letting them do it for you. A lot of people in Highschool have jobs during their senior or junior years. It is understandable that your parents want you to focus in school, but waking up really early just to do something that a Highschooler can easily do is just well.... bad.

Also again, I am just typing this with all due respect. I know you are much older than me and I do respect my elders, but I just wanted to dive into this topic.

Just my two cent and I will leave it at there. Also what do you considered as middle-class income wise?

 

[RapidCancel]

Is that normal in middle/upper middle class families? Serious question.

I'd consider myself middle class and I clean and cook myself daily. I don't know anyone that hires a house keeper besides one of my fiance's friend who makes 6 figures.

 

[BlueSteel]

When I was in college, my mom would cook stuff during the weekends and drive up to Chicago (we lived in the burbs) to bring food to me.

This is despite the fact that both my younger sister and I are bombass good cooks. I can understand though. They grew up firmly poor, and managed to scrape that into a lower-middle class existence in the states. Cooking would't detract from our studies (we had better clean up after ourselves though), but my mom's worrying about our success led her to bring food for us anyways.

 

[StMeph]

When I first went to college, my parents expected me to make a 4.5 hour drive every weekend to visit home. I had to disabuse them of that idea, but I still went home about once a month. They always prepared a bunch of food for me to take back with me. Every single time, without fail.

Again with all due respect ma'am, I just wanted to inquire more into this.

Are you po-lice?

 

[Cow Mengde]

Is that normal in middle/upper middle class families? Serious question.

Oh Bunny, it's you. Didn't realize you were back.

Anyway, I think it's probably pretty common. I'm lower middle class (if such a category exists) and there is no way we can afford to hire someone to cook and clean for us. We have to fend for ourselves so to speak, so we learned all the basic essential skills. I'm not a great cook by any means, but I can cook. I actually don't cook as often as some others thanks to my parents having pretty good work schedules.

 

[Opiate]

I went to school about 1000 miles away from where I Grew up. My parents were pretty okay with me not coming home.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I went to school about 1000 miles away from where I Grew up. My parents were pretty okay with me not coming home.

Opiate
Depressingly Realistic
(Today, 05:54 PM)

Seriously though, if you're doing good for yourself, some parents know they have to let go one of these days.

 

[Opiate]

I wonder if Asian parents are, on average, clingier than parents of other cultural backgrounds. It's probably difficult for any one person to know: you can't control for other variables, as you only grew up with one group of parents and not several.

^ Sure, will get on HotS now.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I wonder if Asian parents are, on average, clingier than parents of other cultural backgrounds. It's probably difficult for any one person to know: you can't control for other variables, as you only grew up with one group of parents and not several.

I think it depends on what they believe. There are plenty of parents that believe when their kids grow up, it's their chance to take care of their aging parents the way they took care of you. To me, that's not a bad thing at all. This only become a problem if the child wants to leave while the parents want them to stay.

 

[Estellex]

Lol. With all due respect, reading through your posts earlier, I was trying to figure out why you thought that China exploited America, but this actually explains a lot .

You'll find when you get older that people come from very different backgrounds and most people are a product of their environment. This isn't at you specifically- a lot of GAF OT fails to understand that not everyone was raised exactly like them, and tend to want everyone else to conform to their own morality. But, most of the time you'll find making everything "everyone else is wrong if they're not like me" translates poorly into real life interactions, especially once you start mixing with people not like you. *edit: Note, this is only true for issues that are not factual. Don't confuse morality/ethics and facts!

Some people are much more privileged than others, and it's not a value judgment, it's just reality. I'm incredibly grateful for my privileged upbringing, even if it means I have to actively work at learning how to cook & clean later.

Middle/uppermiddle class income is, as far as I would define it around my area, is around 180k. Of course, 180k~ is middle income relative to my area, while my area is upper-middle class relative to most of America.

Of course by all means I can understand how some kids are spoiled and are more privileged than others if they were born to wealthier families. I just wanted to make sure that I didn't offend you, ma'am. A lot of the older people in the gaming community like to think of other people in that same community as "kids" so I didn't want you to feel like I was lecturing you on trivial household duties. I was scared that I might have disrespected or seem condescending to you.

When I was asking you those questions I thought I was feeling a bit pushy and I hope that it didn't turn out that way. Sorry for not considering how some people were bought up.

But in all honesty, I just couldn't fathom that your parents had to wake up so early to cook for you when it is a simple thing to do oneself. It just caught me by surprised as that wasn't how I was raised. The act of having a housekeeper was foreign to me.

 

[Zoe]

I wonder if Asian parents are, on average, clingier than parents of other cultural backgrounds. It's probably difficult for any one person to know: you can't control for other variables, as you only grew up with one group of parents and not several.

I don't think "clingy" is the right word. A clingy parent can't let go because of their perceived loss while Asian parents have cultural expectations.

 

[Troubled Bat]

Spoiler

The cutest thing ever.

 

[3phemeral]

Spoiler

The cutest thing ever.

Interesting how the closer the fabric gets to her ass, the smoother and shinier it becomes.

 

[Rainy]

My parents are definitely on the clingier side...don't know how they'll feel when I head across the country for med school next month.

 

[Estellex]

Is anyone here a in the business major? I am planning to enter the field, but I heard that Asians are under-represented in the business field in the U.S. Something to do with stereotypical notion about low charisma and etc.

Surprisingly a lot of CEOs of tech companies are Asian.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Spoiler

The cutest thing ever.

Wait, why do the eyes on the hat blink? Did the kid kill the bunny and is wearing its skin, but the bunny head is not quite dead yet, so it's reacting?

 

[SixMachine]

I remember when I was a kid, I thought I had it good because I only had to pay for my school lunch with a quarter, though later in life I found out because my family was poor as fuck lol. My mom did try to cook as much as possible but I learned as I went along since I had to cook for my little brother on a bunch of days. I think my parents did well though, basically were fobs and no degrees to get a really good job, they tried to work as much overtime as possible at the factory they worked at. When I was little my dad used to be the only one who worked but when the company got into some financial trouble they laid him off and my mom got a job to help with everything while my dad went through sort of a mid-life crisis trying to find work. They both work at the same factory now making radios for the military, so I guess it all worked out in the end.

Surprisingly I amassed a shit ton of video games over the years even though my parents weren't rich. I have boxes of SNES games and a lot of the consoles from the 90s and up besides random shit like NGage. I just spent whatever money I made doing random stuff and money from family on that stuff. I didn't get an allowance, I did random ass jobs as a 13 year old like passing out flyers and helping a family friend's carpet cleaning company. My older brother worked through hell in the kitchen of a chinese restaurant, the people in the kitchen are some crazy mofos. There was this old cambodian dude who literally could stick his hand into a vat of oil and not feel a thing. I saw him just grab something in there with his bare hands. He also was constantly asking my older brother if he wanted to marry his daughter, but he was (probably) joking.

 

[Regret Upon Approval]

I wonder if Asian parents are, on average, clingier than parents of other cultural backgrounds. It's probably difficult for any one person to know: you can't control for other variables, as you only grew up with one group of parents and not several.

Varies and is hard to average.
But my mom is by far clingier than my dad, and all around very protective.
Comparing to some cousins, identical cultural background, their parents are quite less clingy.

All in all though, considering various people of different backgrounds I know and my own anecdotal family experiences I am inclined to agree with you.

 

[suzu]

^This pretty much.

Happy Dragon Boat Festival for anyone that celebrates it.

 

[Estellex]

Varies and is hard to average.
But my mom is by far clingier than my dad, and all around very protective.
Comparing to some cousins, identical cultural background, their parents are quite less clingy.

All in all though, considering various people of different backgrounds I know and my own anecdotal family experiences I am inclined to agree with you.

One of my friends is around 21 years old and her parents wouldn't even allow her to date. What's funny is that she lives away from her parents. I just found this ridiculous because not only is she a grown adult, but she also doesn't reside with them.

As a result, my friend is now dating secretly;warning all her other friends to not post about their relationship on social media. When I found out, I asked her if it was weird that she is a grown adult and not is allowed to be in a relationship with someone, and she said it isn't because that is how some Asians are. My reaction? I was pleasantly surprised when she said that.

Meh :/

 

[Septimus Prime]

To piggy back off this, perhaps it's because the Asian cultures tend to be more community-based, and families/generations often lived under the same roof all their lives.

Clingy isn't the word I'd use. I'd probably say that a lot of the newer immigrants have very established ideas of what life is "supposed" to be like and how children and families are "supposed" to be. It's not until you are Americanized that individual freedom and choice become a thing.

For example, most of my Asian immigrant friends think that telling your kid to gtfo at 18 and go figure out his/her life is unspeakably cruel and horrible parenting. On the other hand, to a lot of us here, it's about independence and letting your kid grow up and make his/her own mistakes. Of course, that's no longer practical given how prohibitively expensive everything is, but hopefully you get my point. It'd more about a fundamentally different view of what a family and community are (collectivism v. individualism).

Yeah. Asian culture definitely seems to stress family over individualism. My wife's family, which is mostly in the Philippines, is completely different from my own family, which has been in the States for decades, and the two sides often consider the other as weird.

^This pretty much.

Happy Dragon Boat Festival for anyone that celebrates it.

Happy Solstice! Stand an egg at noon!

Spoiler

My mom just gave us a bunch of Chinese tamales.

 

[StMeph]

My mom just gave us a bunch of Chinese tamales.

I refuse to adopt that name.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I refuse to adopt that name.

We need to come up with a name for them though.

 

[Gully State]

Tamale ain't English anyways. Just call it what it is..

Zongzi

 

[Septimus Prime]

I refuse to adopt that name.

If you really think about it, it's just a tightly-packed, sticky carbohydrate, wrapped in large leaves, and then steamed. It's really no different from a Mexican zhongzi.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Tamale ain't English anyways. Just call it what it is..

Zongzi

I can't make that sound cool.

 

[Septimus Prime]

I can't make that sound cool.

You can always knock out a syllable and give it a dumb spelling to give it that trendy hipster vibe.

"Yo dawg, hook me up with that 'zee!

Spoiler

i'm lovin it

"

 

[Regret Upon Approval]

To piggy back off this, perhaps it's because the Asian cultures tend to be more community-based, and families/generations often lived under the same roof all their lives.

Clingy isn't the word I'd use. I'd probably say that a lot of the newer immigrants have very established ideas of what life is "supposed" to be like and how children and families are "supposed" to be. It's not until you are Americanized that individual freedom and choice become a thing.

For example, most of my Asian immigrant friends think that telling your kid to gtfo at 18 and go figure out his/her life is unspeakably cruel and horrible parenting. On the other hand, to a lot of us here, it's about independence and letting your kid grow up and make his/her own mistakes. Of course, that's no longer practical given how prohibitively expensive everything is, but hopefully you get my point. It'd more about a fundamentally different view of what a family and community are (collectivism v. individualism).

Yes, the bolded, big, big thing right there.

 

[Zoe]

I usually hear it as... uh.... ba zhang(???) cause everybody I know is Taiwanese.

 

[StMeph]

I usually hear it as... uh.... ba zhang(???) cause everybody I know is Taiwanese.

The zhang is the same as zhong, in reference to the thing itself. The ba/ma part is "meat", since that's the most common filling, though there are other/sweet versions too.

 

[Estellex]

What is the general consensus on the term Taiwanese-American?

If a person was born in the U.S and is ethnically Chinese, then calling them Chinese or Chinese-American are both correct right?
However if a person's parents are from Taiwan and they were born in the U.S were calling them Chinese or Chinese American suffice as well since they are ethnically Chinese.

The reason I am asking this, is that I notice that there were some tension when I called people that are from Taiwan, Chinese. Of course these people weren't born in the U.S or anywhere else from Taiwan like my examples above. I got confused about this and asked one of my Chinese friends about this, and he said it is a controversial topic.

Taiwan is still mostly ethnically Chinese from what I have read. Somewhere around 98%. I asked one of my family member and she said that Taiwanese people are essentially Chinese.

 

[suzu]

Lol Chinese tamales.

In Cantonese it's joong (and in Taishanese it's doong).

 

[Cow Mengde]

(and in Taishanese it's doong).

Ehehehehe.

Zong, jong, and doong doesn't sound any better. Today I will invent a new word.

Sweetricewrappedinleavesandshit

 

[Septimus Prime]

What is the general consensus on the term Taiwanese-American?

If a person was born in the U.S and is ethnically Chinese, then calling them Chinese or Chinese-American are both correct right?
However if a person's parents are from Taiwan and they were born in the U.S were calling them Chinese or Chinese American suffice as well since they are ethnically Chinese.

The reason I am asking this, is that I notice that there were some tension when I called people that are from Taiwan, Chinese. Of course these people weren't born in the U.S or anywhere else from Taiwan like my examples above. I got confused about this and asked one of my Chinese friends about this, and he said it is a controversial topic.

Taiwan is still mostly ethnically Chinese from what I have read. Somewhere around 98%. I asked one of my family member and she said that Taiwanese people are essentially Chinese.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about it. There are tensions in Taiwan between Chinese nationals and native Taiwanese, as well.

On another note, I bought some a2 milk today. It tastes good!

 

[SRG01]

One of my friends is around 21 years old and her parents wouldn't even allow her to date. What's funny is that she lives away from her parents. I just found this ridiculous because not only is she a grown adult, but she also doesn't reside with them.

As a result, my friend is now dating secretly;warning all her other friends to not post about their relationship on social media. When I found out, I asked her if it was weird that she is a grown adult and not is allowed to be in a relationship with someone, and she said it isn't because that is how some Asians are. My reaction? I was pleasantly surprised when she said that.

Meh :/

I was apparently a secret and only introduced as a friend to my ex's parents for the greater portion of our relationship, until randomly when I asked her what to refer myself as during her sibling's birthday party, she said 'boyfriend'.

Then again, she was the one who had issues since her family was more or less fine with me. Weird.

 

[Estellex]

Your friend answered the question (second bolded) you asked (first bolded).

Are you asking WHY it's controversial, or are you looking for us to agree with you that it's okay for you to call them Chinese despite other people telling you it's controversial.



Stuffed glutinous rice steamed in leaves.

The second part was actually meant to have a question mark at the end. I didn't know that it was the correct answer all along.

I know that it has to do with some politics. I didn't read up more in it. I was just trying to understand if it was ok to call them Chinese and I assume based on your comment that it is ok?
I put out more detail because I wanted more reassurance. I don't want to be seen as the bad guy and anger a group of people based on my ignorance. However, yeah agreeing with me is nice because I would then know that I didn't do anything wrong.

 

[Zoe]

What is the general consensus on the term Taiwanese-American?

If a person was born in the U.S and is ethnically Chinese, then calling them Chinese or Chinese-American are both correct right?
However if a person's parents are from Taiwan and they were born in the U.S were calling them Chinese or Chinese American suffice as well since they are ethnically Chinese.

The reason I am asking this, is that I notice that there were some tension when I called people that are from Taiwan, Chinese. Of course these people weren't born in the U.S or anywhere else from Taiwan like my examples above. I got confused about this and asked one of my Chinese friends about this, and he said it is a controversial topic.

Taiwan is still mostly ethnically Chinese from what I have read. Somewhere around 98%. I asked one of my family member and she said that Taiwanese people are essentially Chinese.

That's like saying a Vietnamese-American should call themselves Chinese because there are many ethnically Chinese there. Except Vietnam has people there who would not be considered ethnically Chinese.

Taiwan had aboriginal populations just like other countries. It also has its own language and culture. Sure, the bf will call himself Chinese at times for either simplicity or when he doesn't know if the person he's speaking to is a mainlander, but if you ask him what he really identifies as, he would say Taiwanese.

 

[StMeph]

Ethnically both are the same, but in this case the difference is based on nationality.

 

[Estellex]

That's like saying a Vietnamese-American should call themselves Chinese because there are many ethnically Chinese there. Except Vietnam has people there who would not be considered ethnically Chinese.

Taiwan had aboriginal populations just like other countries. It also has its own language and culture. Sure, the bf will call himself Chinese at times for either simplicity or when he doesn't know if the person he's speaking to is a mainlander, but if you ask him what he really identifies as, he would say Taiwanese.

Taiwan is 98% Han Chinese though. That number is staggeringly high. I don't know if most people would considered the aboriginal population since it is so small.

Was Vietnam a country that was seen as a huge immigrant destination for the Chinese? What percentage of the population is aboriginal compared to the Chinese immigrants?

I recalled a famous Basketball player by the name of Jeremy Lin saying that he was Chinese in an interview. A lot of people considered him Chinese even though his parents were from Taiwan. Much like your BF I think. I think most Taiwanese-American don't really care if they are called Chinese or Taiwanese. At least that is my assumption, correct me if I am wrong. I think it is mostly the people that were born in Taiwan.

 

[robox]

Lol Chinese tamales.

In Cantonese it's joong (and in Taishanese it's doong).

that's the crux for me. there's no universal chinese pronunciation, like with japanese. the word may be the same, but different dialects means it's called differently, depending on who you speak to, or population differences in a locale. it's a marketing problem. i'm not crazy about zhong but i still like them better than onigiri, which are much better known.

and also its cousin, lo mai gai, can also be classified as a tamale

 

[Cow Mengde]

I got it! Chamale. Short for Chinese Tamale.

 

[Gully State]

I can't make that sound cool.

It's delicious..you don't need to make zongzhi sound cool...

Add a little bit of this for some extra hmmmm....couldn't find a smaller pick.

I always think of Taiwanese as a nationality moreso than an ethnicity (not talking about the aboriginal Taiwanese people mind you). There are two groups of Han Chinese in Taiwan. Descendants of merchants from Fujian province that came during the Ming Dynasty (benshengren- natives). These were the people that lived through the Japanese occupation and contributed to the Taiwanese dialect. Then you have those supporting the KMT and fled there shortly after WWII (Waishengren - outsiders). As someone born in Taiwan with grandparents consisting of the latter group, I've personally always identified as Chinese ethnically. Nationality wise- I'm American.

 

[SRG01]

Taiwan is 98% Han Chinese though. That number is staggeringly high. I don't know if most people would considered the aboriginal population since it is so small.

Was Vietnam a country that was seen as a huge immigrant destination for the Chinese? What percentage of the population is aboriginal compared to the Chinese immigrants?

I recalled a famous Basketball player by the name of Jeremy Lin saying that he was Chinese in an interview. A lot of people considered him Chinese even though his parents were from Taiwan. Much like your BF I think. I think most Taiwanese-American don't really care if they are called Chinese or Taiwanese. At least that is my assumption, correct me if I am wrong. I think it is mostly the people that were born in Taiwan.

Ethnically, a lot of people will call themselves Chinese despite being born in places such as Malaysia, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Brunei, etc. My ex's family is two-generations deep in Brunei and yet they still say they're Chinese or Hakka. It's not so much a recognition of the "country" rather than a recognition of bloodline and traditions.

For the record, I know of exactly one person in real life that refers to themselves as Taiwanese. Everyone else says Chinese.

There must be something about the differences that are obvious, even though my parents are one wai sheng and one ban sheng.

Do you speak to them in Mandarin? Because that would be a giveaway. If not, I find that there are subtleties in appearance depending on different regions of China (or Chinese from other parts of the world for that matter).

 

[Cow Mengde]

Chamale. I like it . Luckily for me all my friends know what a zongzi is though :x

That's the point. We need to teach people what a Chamale is now! It'll be in the Oxford Dictionary pretty soon. I mean, how many non-Chinese would know how to pronounce zongzi?

 

[Gully State]

That's the point. We need to teach people what a Chamale is now! It'll be in the Oxford Dictionary pretty soon. I mean, how many non-Chinese would know how to pronounce zongzi?

How many non-Korean know how to pronounce soondubu or bulgolgi or kalbi, or jigae? What about xiao long bao?

 

[Rainy]

Happy Father's Day Asian-GAF!

 

[Septimus Prime]

How many non-Korean know how to pronounce soondubu or bulgolgi or kalbi, or jigae? What about xiao long bao?

See, Xiao Long Bao would actually benefit from translation. Little Dragon Bun. Hell yes.