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Asian-GAF: We're all the same, like Stormtroopers |OT| |AT|

C

CapNBritain

Member
I had heard about the lynching and yes it is/was pretty messed up. I didn't know about the immigration policies though.

On another note, what say you AsianGAF, gross or glorious?

Fq96Fiy.jpg
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Pig ears and seaweed. Only like $6 with drink, rice, and bowl of soup!
 
S

SixMachine

Member
CapNBritain said:
I had heard about the lynching and yes it is/was pretty messed up. I didn't know about the immigration policies though.

On another note, what say you AsianGAF, gross or glorious?



Pig ears and seaweed. Only like $6 with drink, rice, and bowl of soup!
Click to expand...

It's good but do they have any kind of sauce with them or were they cooked in any? Pig ears don't taste much by themselves, so you would be eating it just for the texture at that point. They are also pretty good pickled, but I like it more sour. I had some pickled pig ears that were barely sour.
 
C

CapNBritain

Member
SixMachine said:
It's good but do they have any kind of sauce with them or were they cooked in any? Pig ears don't taste much by themselves, so you would be eating it just for the texture at that point. They are also pretty good pickled, but I like it more sour. I had some pickled pig ears that were barely sour.
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The pig ears are coated in a godly, fatty sauce.
 
B

Black Republican

Member
backslashbunny said:
Yeah it's kinda depressing. It's not like that anymore, but since I live literally in the city next to Santa Ana... it was definitely shocking.



Actually, I have heard of her and did give her a listen. I think I still trend more towards Dumbfounded and Awkwafina, though (TBH I think I relate to them more).
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they're really good, dumbfounded is dope and i hope awkwafina breaks through a little more, more female mcs mainstream wise the better
 
A

Aruarian Reflection

Chauffeur de la gdlk
backslashbunny said:
Interesting article, thanks.

I actually want to note that I think all colors tend to self-segregate. I don't have any personal experience with this, but it did seem to me like (at least in high school) people stayed with "their" color more. It was a little better in college, but not by much.

I especially like the last paragraph. I think it's true for some people (definitely for me), that I self-segregate because I'm more comfortable with other Asians. It doesn't just extend to academics... it reflects in a lot more aspects of life. How I view things. How I interact with parents, with my family. How my priorities are. The actions I do, the way I think... a lot of times, other Asian Americans "get it." There's no need to explain what I mean.
Click to expand...

I recently moved by myself to a new state where the closest person I know is about 1,000 miles away. This isn't new for me since in the past 10 years I've lived in 4 different states and in 3 different time zones. And overall my experience has made me more well rounded compared to my old high school friends who just stay cocooned in California their entire lives. But what makes this most recent move really sting is that I had just returned to SoCal for the past couple years and had gotten so re-adjusted to living in an Asian-majority population and all the benefits that comes with, including food and culture. It is really jarring to jump from that to living in what might as well be a whole new country. I hear stories about foreigners in Japan who do a "Gaijin nod" in recognition on the occasion they see another white guy, and I feel like I'm doing the same thing everytime I come across another Asian person.

It's not that I don't want to make friends with Caucasians, but Caucasians from a city like L.A. are definitely not the same as Caucasians in the Midwest. The city I'm in, although not cosmopolitan, is at least somewhat cultured but it is overwhelmingly white and I distinctly feel that I stand out and get looks wherever I go. I'm already a little homesick, but I might get to the point where I watch Taiwan TV news on Youtube just to hear some Mandarin (I care about things in Asia more compared to your average Asian American; I'm interested in the upcoming Taiwan election, for instance). I'm thinking about joining the university Taiwanese student's association club but they're likely mostly international students and that brings up the whole Asian American vs FOB topic which I don't want to get into. But I definitely would feel like I have more in common with them compared to the average resident around here.

On the bright side, maybe this is a good opportunity to try an AMWF relationship =D
 
S

SRG01

Member
Aruarian Reflection said:
I recently moved by myself to a new state where the closest person I know is about 1,000 miles away. This isn't new for me since in the past 10 years I've lived in 4 different states and in 3 different time zones. And overall my experience has made me more well rounded compared to my old high school friends who just stay cocooned in California their entire lives. But what makes this most recent move really sting is that I had just returned to SoCal for the past couple years and had gotten so re-adjusted to living in an Asian-majority population and all the benefits that comes with, including food and culture. It is really jarring to jump from that to living in what might as well be a whole new country. I hear stories about foreigners in Japan who do a "Gaijin nod" in recognition on the occasion they see another white guy, and I feel like I'm doing the same thing everytime I come across another Asian person.

It's not that I don't want to make friends with Caucasians, but Caucasians from a city like L.A. are definitely not the same as Caucasians in the Midwest. The city I'm in, although not cosmopolitan, is at least somewhat cultured but it is overwhelmingly white and I distinctly feel that I stand out and get looks wherever I go. I'm already a little homesick, but I might get to the point where I watch Taiwan TV news on Youtube just to hear some Mandarin (I care about things in Asia more compared to your average Asian American; I'm interested in the upcoming Taiwan election, for instance). I'm thinking about joining the university Taiwanese student's association club but they're likely mostly international students and that brings up the whole Asian American vs FOB topic which I don't want to get into. But I definitely would feel like I have more in common with them compared to the average resident around here.

On the bright side, maybe this is a good opportunity to try an AMWF relationship =D
Click to expand...

Just putting this out there: AMWF relationships are very different from AMAF relationships, especially if both AMAF parties had tiger parents.

But yeah, that Toronto case. That was a rough thing to read :/
 
S

Septimus Prime

Member
backslashbunny said:
So what do y'all think about the recent murder in Toronto, the girl with the tiger parents? Did it remind any of y'all about your own lives?

Reading it was so weird for me. My best friend in high school had parents like that, too.

Mine were slightly better. They didn't check my cell phone or my computer (thank god). However, I was also not allowed to go out, my parents picked me up every day from school, my life was closely monitored, and I wasn't "allowed" to have boyfriends. I also doctored my grades and report cards.

I don't think I ever thought about murdering my parents. Even when I was upset at them, I was mostly upset at myself for failing to live up to their standards. There was a period of time in high school when I self-inflicted (still have the scars now, actually). Luckily for me, I ended up going to uni far enough away to live on my own, and even though I almost got kicked out of school at one point and had a ton of issues related to parents and guilt and self, in the end I managed to graduate, work a bit, and now am happy where I am. Of course, I went through a lot of stupid things to do so, and had that whole period of "what the fuck am I doing," but I'm lucky I got out of it without any permanent harm.

The story was so sad, and I feel the worst for the mother. You could tell that the mom was trying to "tone down" the dad [looking back, my mom was also always the one that was convincing my dad not to be so hard on me], but... well, she's the only one that died.

I told my mom this story and my mom just thinks the kid was bad and the parents did nothing wrong. Didn't expect her to think differently, even though I was trying to show her why tiger parenting is not always good, and why being strict and trying to force your kids to go down a certain path is not the best thing for every kid. What can you do, right? haha
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I can't relate that well to this one. I mean, my mom was strict by American standards, but she was no tiger mom and left me alone for the most part. The most I can relate is that I've also doctored some less-than-favorable report cards, but I got caught and punished for those quickly.
 
K

Kieli

Member
I never doctored my report cards (too stupid to do that).

I just threw them away.

Except one time when I got straight As first term, and then 3 Fs second term. I gave my dad the first term report card again.

He was initially happy, then later realized what I did, and boy I was in a shit-ton of trouble.
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
Kieli said:
I never doctored my report cards (too stupid to do that).

I just threw them away.

Except one time when I got straight As first term, and then 3 Fs second term. I gave my dad the first term report card again.

He was initially happy, then later realized what I did, and boy I was in a shit-ton of trouble.
Click to expand...

I remember when I got two B-'s and my parents scheduled a conference in both classes to talk about why I was doing shitty. Then they took away all of my stuff until my grades straightened out.
 
K

Kieli

Member
zeemumu said:
I remember when I got two B-'s and my parents scheduled a conference in both classes to talk about why I was doing shitty. Then they took away all of my stuff until my grades straightened out.
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Parent teacher conferences were not fun for me.

Immediately afterward, my dad would radiate pure hatred for me. So much so that my mom was uncomfortable. This was during his tiger parenting phase.

He mellowed out a lot in high school and didn't even care about parent teacher conferences anymore.
 
Y

YesNOnoNOYes

Member
backslashbunny said:
So what do y'all think about the recent murder in Toronto, the girl with the tiger parents? Did it remind any of y'all about your own lives?

Reading it was so weird for me. My best friend in high school had parents like that, too.

Mine were slightly better. They didn't check my cell phone or my computer (thank god). However, I was also not allowed to go out, my parents picked me up every day from school, my life was closely monitored, and I wasn't "allowed" to have boyfriends. I also doctored my grades and report cards.

I don't think I ever thought about murdering my parents. Even when I was upset at them, I was mostly upset at myself for failing to live up to their standards. There was a period of time in high school when I self-inflicted (still have the scars now, actually). Luckily for me, I ended up going to uni far enough away to live on my own, and even though I almost got kicked out of school at one point and had a ton of issues related to parents and guilt and self, in the end I managed to graduate, work a bit, and now am happy where I am. Of course, I went through a lot of stupid things to do so, and had that whole period of "what the fuck am I doing," but I'm lucky I got out of it without any permanent harm.

The story was so sad, and I feel the worst for the mother. You could tell that the mom was trying to "tone down" the dad [looking back, my mom was also always the one that was convincing my dad not to be so hard on me], but... well, she's the only one that died.

I told my mom this story and my mom just thinks the kid was bad and the parents did nothing wrong. Didn't expect her to think differently, even though I was trying to show her why tiger parenting is not always good, and why being strict and trying to force your kids to go down a certain path is not the best thing for every kid. What can you do, right? haha
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I semi-half-relate

:<

My mom put STRONG emphasis on academic achievement but she has pretty good boundaries. She put me into Catholic school in Australia and made me study math like an addict, but she let me opt out from ballet and piano when I explained to her that I had no interest in those things. But her academic achievement emphasis really helped me at the end of my studying years. I graduated from University with Awards and stuff and got my first job straight out of uni with a very reputable financial institution.

I think I would not have my position as HR manager right now had my mom been less strict with me. So, whilst I hated those years and reminisced upon them with a mixture of conflicting feelings, I have to admit that I am reaping the benefits in buckets at the moment.

But yeah, my mom does not push me over the edge. She communicates and she listens and when I told her I hated ballet, she actually told me that I didn't have to everything she wanted me to, and that was a good moment.

I think there's value in Asian style parenting, but yeah.... needs good boundaries.
 
L

Llyranor

Member
I think there's a nice balance somewhere in-between. I was raised on strict discipline and prioritizing academic studies. The only extracurricular stuff they forced me to do was Karate (which I immensively appreciate I did now, but as a dumb kid I wanted to watch saturday morning cartoons instead). If anything, I kind of wish they forced to take some music lessons.

I did pretty well grades-wise, so after high school they just let me do my own thing. At that point, I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I think I may have been guilt-tripped into getting into a competitive field that I wasn't really drawn towards. Nowadays, I'm quite content of being in it, and I had the grades for it, so I guess it all worked out.

I don't believe in excessive Tiger parenting, as it can be detrimental to a child's upbringing (and bring about some social deficiencies), but I also don't believe in 'you're a special snowflake, do whatever you want to be!'. I think as the long as the kid is able to show that s/he's doing his/her best school-wise (and not just neglecting it or not caring), then s/he should have the freedom to do other activities s/he wants. Not every kid can be an A+ student, and I don't believe restricting all the freedoms of a kid is going to be productive in that aspect. I do believe in drilling in a strong work ethic and discipline at an early age is important, though.
 
M

mercviper

Member
I seem to have lucked out in the tiger parenting department. My parents were anything but that. In fact, it was so the opposite direction my sister crazily wished there would be some amount of tiger parenting. If I had to guess I would attribute it to our friends in middle/high school having tiger parents and wanting to fit in.
I still felt I failed my parents horribly when I first bombed a test in college. That was a rough night and the first time I ever turned in a blank test lol.

I was definitely never a model student. Constant Cs in social studies and english. I could ace math and science tests no problem, but if the course entailed a lot of busy work I wouldn't do it and end up with a B. So I ended up taking advanced courses in high school because the teachers there didn't feel like they had to grade their students' homework to get them to do it. Surprisingly, or I guess unsurprisingly given stereotypes, friends assumed I was straight As and not many realized or knew I dropped out of college instead of graduating. Never felt I had to hide any of this from my parents though.

Also, perception is a funny thing. My lil bro and sis have done much better than me academically so I feel like the black sheep of the fam when it comes to that. I talked to my brother about it a few years back and he actually told me he feels that I'm the standard that he needs to live up to. Apparently I'm all my dad talks about when I'm not home with everyone else.
 
C

CapNBritain

Member
Wow I just read up about the Toronto case. I can't relate to this at all. My dad spent every evening doing my homework with me to make sure I did well in school, but there was never the sense of control and expectation that is described in this article or by some of the posters here. I'm pretty sure a combination of me being a terrible child and my parents divorcing probably saved me from this type of upbringing.

The cutting thing as a coping mechanism is definitely something new to me. I knew a Chinese girl who did that, and my friends and I just assumed she was crazy. I feel bad thinking back on it now, as I'm sure there was a lot of stuff going on with her family that probably contributed to that.
 
S

Septimus Prime

Member
Not to derail the tiger parenting discussion, but since we were just talking about self-segregation and all that, here's something someone I know liked on Facebook this morning (why Facebook shows me posts from a bunch of people I don't even know is still a mystery, but oh well): http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-groceries-race-20150727-htmlstory.html

In Alhambra, demographic shift reaches the grocery store
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But the change she couldn't accept came in June, when the Ralphs on Alhambra's Main Street closed and was replaced by 99 Ranch, an Asian supermarket.

"I know the city's changing," Myers said. "That's just inevitable. But does it have to change our supermarket?"
Click to expand...
This spring, Alhambra residents packed City Council meetings at the news that the Ralphs on Main Street was closing, though the city had no role in the renting of the space. Rumors flew of Chinese ownership driving up rental prices to kick Ralphs out, though the property owners are not Chinese and Ralphs decided not to renew an expiring lease.
Click to expand...
Since Ralphs Store No. 199 closed in March, Myers has been driving three miles farther to Pavilions in South Pasadena for her groceries. It's a short journey that begins in one era of the city and takes her through another.
Click to expand...
Farther north, past Main Street where she used to turn left to go to Ralphs, Myers points disapprovingly at a senior housing complex built by a Chinese developer that towers over the surrounding homes.

"We're being pushed out," she said.
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She could buy those things at stores in Alhambra. But it's not about groceries, Myers said. It's about comfort — the familiar smell of the Pavilions, the American music on its soundtrack, the way the fish comes wrapped in plastic or displayed behind glass, and the language that the specials are announced in — English.

Having the right kind of supermarket in Alhambra isn't about convenience, Myers said. Her complaints about grocery shopping can snowball into grievances about bad driving, rude service at restaurants, cleanliness and eventually, what kind of community Alhambra should be and what it means to be American. Conversations about grocery stores, Myers said, always become conversations about belonging.
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The quote that I bolded is disgusting. Personally, I've always shopped at--and still mostly shop at--Western supermarkets for groceries, but that complaint about "belonging" is such bullshit. Oh, so the newer Alhambra residents shouldn't feel like they belong to appease you?
 
C

cdyhybrid

Member
Septimus Prime said:
Not to derail the tiger parenting discussion, but since we were just talking about self-segregation and all that, here's something someone I know liked on Facebook this morning (why Facebook shows me posts from a bunch of people I don't even know is still a mystery, but oh well): http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-groceries-race-20150727-htmlstory.html







The quote that I bolded is disgusting. Personally, I've always shopped at--and still mostly shop at--Western supermarkets for groceries, but that complaint about "belonging" is such bullshit. Oh, so the newer Alhambra residents shouldn't feel like they belong to appease you?
Click to expand...

Won't someone think of the white people?
 
S

Sober

Member
Maybe all the Asians should go back to Asia and all the white people should go back the Europe and we give all the Native Americans back their land.

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I mean you wouldn't tell a white person to go back to Europe would you?
 
S

SystemBug

Member
Sober said:
Maybe all the Asians should go back to Asia and all the white people should go back the Europe and we give all the Native Americans back their land.

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I mean you wouldn't tell a white person to go back to Europe would you?
Click to expand...

i have
 
Shouta

Shouta

Member
Septimus Prime said:
Not to derail the tiger parenting discussion, but since we were just talking about self-segregation and all that, here's something someone I know liked on Facebook this morning (why Facebook shows me posts from a bunch of people I don't even know is still a mystery, but oh well): http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-groceries-race-20150727-htmlstory.html







The quote that I bolded is disgusting. Personally, I've always shopped at--and still mostly shop at--Western supermarkets for groceries, but that complaint about "belonging" is such bullshit. Oh, so the newer Alhambra residents shouldn't feel like they belong to appease you?
Click to expand...

Not enough Facepalms for the quotes in that article.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Alhambra.

I thought that was an Arabian word? At a push Spain, with that famous palace. What's it doing in America?
 
S

suzu

Member
Septimus Prime said:
Not to derail the tiger parenting discussion, but since we were just talking about self-segregation and all that, here's something someone I know liked on Facebook this morning (why Facebook shows me posts from a bunch of people I don't even know is still a mystery, but oh well): http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-groceries-race-20150727-htmlstory.html

The quote that I bolded is disgusting. Personally, I've always shopped at--and still mostly shop at--Western supermarkets for groceries, but that complaint about "belonging" is such bullshit. Oh, so the newer Alhambra residents shouldn't feel like they belong to appease you?
Click to expand...

Oh ffs. That last quote especially.. jeez.
 
Y

y2dvd

Member
So there were these two cute Asian ladies at a bar the other night. Not sure if it made a difference but they looked in their late 30s. I go up to them to chat and they said I must not be korean. I asked why and they said korean guys don't really go up to girls at a bar. I know it's a broad statement lol but any truth to it?
 
G

Gully State

Member
y2dvd said:
So there were these two cute Asian ladies at a bar the other night. Not sure if it made a difference but they looked in their late 30s. I go up to them to chat and they said I must not be korean. I asked why and they said korean guys don't really go up to girls at a bar. I know it's a broad statement lol but any truth to it?
Click to expand...

I forget what the term is but in Korean bars, the table service involves servers bringing girls to the guys' table to drink together. ..
 
S

Septimus Prime

Member
Ashes said:
oh noes...

I am actually kinda interested in how that place got to be named Alhambra
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California was colonized by Spaniards, so there's a lot of Spanish heritage here. In SoCal, we still have missions and pueblos and stuff. There's actually a Chinese restaurant in Alhambra called Mission 261 that's a repurposed mission.

Gully State said:
As someone who grew up in Northern California, every time I see Alhambra mentioned, I think this...instead of city in Socal.
Click to expand...
Interesting. That same water company is called Sparkletts here.

Sparkletts.jpg


Same logo and phone number and everything.
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
y2dvd said:
So there were these two cute Asian ladies at a bar the other night. Not sure if it made a difference but they looked in their late 30s. I go up to them to chat and they said I must not be korean. I asked why and they said korean guys don't really go up to girls at a bar. I know it's a broad statement lol but any truth to it?
Click to expand...

Are you in Korea?
 
Y

y2dvd

Member
zeemumu said:
Are you in Korea?
Click to expand...
Nah I'm half Cambodian and half Chinese. I rarely get Korean.
I
Gully State said:
I forget what the term is but in Korean bars, the table service involves servers bringing girls to the guys' table to drink together. ..
Click to expand...

Sober said:
This is important because my friend who taught English in (South) Korea told me that Korean dudes never speak up at all so he would just get girls left and right just by literally going up and saying hi.
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Wow I always heard about Japan being bad regarding the opposite sex but I thought Korea was much better about it. Fly me there! Sober, was your friend Korean-American?
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
y2dvd said:
Wow I always heard about Japan being bad regarding the opposite sex but I thought Korea was much better about it. Fly me there! Sober, was your friend Korean-American?
Click to expand...


I have a friend who went to Japan and she posted about some stories about some really awkward dudes hitting on her.
 
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