I've talked about this before, but I think one of the most important mantras to drill into new "Big Two" comic readers is this: nobody can read everything. Everybody misses stuff, everybody has to turn to a wiki now and then. And that doesn't inhibit enjoyment of those books at all.
I mean, I should be able to recommend Uncanny X-Force/Avengers and All-New X-Men to people despite the fact that both are steeped in references to past events and obscure characters. You just need to approach them with the correct mindset: roll with it, enjoy yourself, check out the most interesting threads for yourself later and return to those books with a deeper appreciation for how well the authors pulled everything together. I'm a huge Marvel nut and even I didn't catch everything in those books, and that's okay. They're just great comics. My young daughter started in on ANXM a few days ago and she's loving it. She's never read a single X-Men comic before but she doesn't seem to care at all...because it's just a great comic.
Too often people only ever recommend standalone stories and elseworlds stuff, and while all that does have an important place in initiating new readers to the hobby, I don't think there is any way to truly penetrate these universes without diving into the books we all read every week and just accepting that you aren't going to get every single reference and that's okay. I would argue you don't even need to know who Apocalypse is to enjoy Uncanny X-Force despite how central he is to that entire book. You will pick it up as you go. Again, it's just a great comic...and you miss out on so many great comics if you harbor an aversion to continuity. Continuity is a huge part of what makes DC and Marvel so fun.
