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[ZackieChan]

Use them all, dude. Stop fretting and start dating.

 

[Ursn]

So I might have gotten a girl with an iud pregnant. Just my luck. I should play the lottery.

 

[Roberto Larcos]

Man, I must just suck at Tinder - I'm looking for something casual and all the girls I match on Tinder want more serious stuff.

Hint: a lot are lying.

Tinder is socially acceptable, but writing 'just looking for a hook-up, nothing more' is not - where I am at least. Same goes for messaging etiquette - lots of people won't give off that you'll get lucky on the first date, but they'll come back to yours after meeting for that first coffee.

 

[bluethree]

at least they're not saying they want "language exchanges" like they do in Japan

 

[Roberto Larcos]

at least they're not saying they want "language exchanges" like they do in Japan

Is Tinder any good in Japan? Thinking of heading out there after I finish my degree.

 

[Kiever Sher]

i don't like get all upset about everyone, just if I liked someone a bit. I've had a ton of dates where it didn't bother me when it didn't work out. I just have a maelstrom of anxiety and self esteem issues. I should be really glad at the progress I've made from never dating to having some minor successes. Doesn't seem to work that way though.

Anyways.

Spoiler

Gaiages is a female lol.

As for the rest of your post, don't worry about it as there will be other opportunities in the future.

Oh right. If I'd known that I would've fumbled over my words completely, just to be consistent with my everyday persona.

 

[Denzar]

Nothing will happen with her.

But if she does return... take her to the alcoves.

Alcoves? Kinda like nooks and crannies?

Of course not. I was genuinely freaked out and amazed.

It sounds like bullshit to me. If she was leaving the continent, why was she looking on Tinder? I smell a scam here. Like she'll say "I really want to come back to meet you, but I need $1000 for an airplane ticket" sort of thing.

I got the super like the evening before she left and asked if I could meet then. Was watching Rick and Morty and couldn't be bothered.

She sent me picture of her home (She seems loaded. If those pictures are genuine ofc.) and this quote from William Blake: "“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite."

The fuck, man?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Use them all, dude. Stop fretting and start dating.

Yup. I've been following this thread while I was banned and it's easy to see when you're not giving advice that a lot of the problems in here stem from over-thinking, creating scenarios that probably won't happen and other ridiculous shit that you shouldn't be thinking about until after you've met the person, gone on a date and found if you're compatible or not.

So I might have gotten a girl with an iud pregnant. Just my luck. I should play the lottery.

I'd question if she ever actually had one. Pregnancies, while possible, are pretty rare when there's an IUD involved. They are known to be very reliable. Again, not to say they can't happen, but if she's pregnant, she should contact her physician.

 

[Benzychenz]

Got some awesome pics from my Europe trip and already have a Tinder lunch date set for next week. yeww

 

[Prodigal Son]

I don't know if this is an insensitive question to ask here but how do I politely tell someone I that want nothing to do with them? A girl I met in freshmen college year basically keeps planning 'dates' for us and I don't know how to tell her I don't really have any interest whatsoever in a friendship with her let alone a relationship. I keep going along because it would seem rude to be busy every time she plans something. It sounds mean-spirited, largely because it is. I actually resent her at this point but I can't exactly just say that.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Alcoves? Kinda like nooks and crannies?

Of course not. I was genuinely freaked out and amazed.



I got the super like the evening before she left and asked if I could meet then. Was watching Rick and Morty and couldn't be bothered.

She sent me picture of her home (She seems loaded. If those pictures are genuine ofc.) and this quote from William Blake: "“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite."

The fuck, man?

Screenshot her profile pics/the pic she sent you and Google reverse image that shit.

Can't guarantee it'll work, but it's worth a shot.

 

[Benzychenz]

I don't know if this is an insensitive question to ask here but how do I politely tell someone I that want nothing to do with them? A girl I met in freshmen college year basically keeps planning 'dates' for us and I don't know how to tell her I don't really have any interest whatsoever in a friendship with her let alone a relationship. I keep going along because it would seem rude to be busy every time she plans something. It sounds mean-spirited, largely because it is. I actually resent her at this point but I can't exactly just say that.

Well, if you were 'busy' every time to start with she probably would have got the message, but now that you've been going along with her you're probably just gonna have to be blunt.

 

[Messofanego]

Screenshot her profile pics/the pic she sent you and Google reverse image that shit.

Can't guarantee it'll work, but it's worth a shot.

Yup, I've done this and reported a few girls, got them kicked off the site.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I don't know if this is an insensitive question to ask here but how do I politely tell someone I that want nothing to do with them? A girl I met in freshmen college year basically keeps planning 'dates' for us and I don't know how to tell her I don't really have any interest whatsoever in a friendship with her let alone a relationship. I keep going along because it would seem rude to be busy every time she plans something. It sounds mean-spirited, largely because it is. I actually resent her at this point but I can't exactly just say that.

Tell her. It's not difficult. Hey, I don't have any feelings for you, I don't see you as a friend or anything else and I think it'd be better if we moved on.

Jazz it up however you want, but the main thing is to make sure you leave no doubts about how you feel. It's clearly time to rip the band-aid off, there's nothing to feel guilty about. Honestly, how far are you going to let this go because of your passiveness and unwillingness to express your feelings?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Yup, I've done this and reported a few girls, got them kicked off the site.

It's surprising people still try to pull this shit when it's so easy to find out if they are scamming or not.

Is the power of reverse image search not well known or something?

 

[Roufianos]

Man, I must just suck at Tinder - I'm looking for something casual and all the girls I match on Tinder want more serious stuff. I'm hesitant to go back to OKCupid - been thinking about Coffee Meets Bagel but if that's even more relationship oriented, hmmmmm maybe not.

Also after reading this thread I'm sorely tempted to make my Tinder profile "Too many hours on my phone, not enough hours on my bone."

I'd say a lot are lying too, from my experience anyway. The key is just to work your way in there slowly instead of being too forward.

 

[Prodigal Son]

Tell her. It's not difficult. Hey, I don't have any feelings for you, I don't see you as a friend or anything else and I think it'd be better if we moved on.

Jazz it up however you want, but the main thing is to make sure you leave no doubts about how you feel. It's clearly time to rip the band-aid off, there's nothing to feel guilty about. Honestly, how far are you going to let this go because of your passiveness and unwillingness to express your feelings?

I don't think I could ever say the italicized to another human being without including a whole crock of bullshit. I've danced around every problem I've ever had in life. The idea of just telling someone something like that scares me more than just going along with it. I guess I'll just have to think of something.

 

[Rked]

Got 2-3 matches on tinder last night. I started talking to them, everything seemed to be going well then they just stop. OKC they seem to not respond at all.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Man, I must just suck at Tinder - I'm looking for something casual and all the girls I match on Tinder want more serious stuff. I'm hesitant to go back to OKCupid - been thinking about Coffee Meets Bagel but if that's even more relationship oriented, hmmmmm maybe not.

Also after reading this thread I'm sorely tempted to make my Tinder profile "Too many hours on my phone, not enough hours on my bone."

When you say people on Tinder are looking for serious relationships, have you actually been on dates or are you going by what they say in their initial messages/their profile?

Worth keeping in mind that not everyone wants to advertise they only want casual sex and would rather go with something safer like I'm looking for a serious relationship in case they meet someone and there's no connection/they've been catfished or they don't want to have sex that day. It's about trying to make sure there's no expectations going into a date.

Just talk to people, set up dates and see how it goes.

 

[velociraptor]

What's a good birthday gift for a girl? Keep in mind that I'm not exactly loaded with cash as a uni student

 

[Sickboy007]

I just met yesterday this girl and I think I'm in love. She's my first match on OKC.

Please send help

 

[Benzychenz]

I just met yesterday this girl and I think I'm in love. She's my first match on OKC.

Please send help

She might be the one bro.

Never too early to start thinking of what kind of wedding you want.

 

[Sickboy007]

She might be the one bro.

Never too early to start thinking of what kind of wedding you want.

I'm thinking of converting, her family would approve. Fuck my foreskin.

 

[Salamando]

What's a good birthday gift for a girl? Keep in mind that I'm not exactly loaded with cash as a uni student

Take her to her favorite restaurant or on a nice picnic? Hard to say, when all we know about this girl is (1) she's a girl, and (2) she was born.

 

[Kiever Sher]

I just met yesterday this girl and I think I'm in love. She's my first match on OKC.

Please send help

Careful bruh. If she doesn't return the feeling you could find yourself 10 months down the line drinking several bottles of wine solo on a Friday night. OR SO I HEAR, I WOULDN'T KNOW OF COURSE.

 

[Llyranor]

Just make sure the range of number of kids you and she want overlaps and you're all set.

 

[Sickboy007]

Careful bruh. If she doesn't return the feeling you could find yourself 10 months down the line drinking several bottles of wine solo on a Friday night. OR SO I HEAR, I WOULDN'T KNOW OF COURSE.

I'm two months out of a four year old relationships, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? I just wanted to bang, I didn't ask for this.

Do men have biological clocks? I think my brain is ovulating.

 

[velociraptor]

Take her to her favorite restaurant or on a nice picnic? Hard to say, when all we know about this girl is (1) she's a girl, and (2) she was born.

Just wondered what people generally buy for their girlfriends as birthday gifts. Restaurant seems like a solid shout.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I don't think I could ever say the italicized to another human being without including a whole crock of bullshit. I've danced around every problem I've ever had in life. The idea of just telling someone something like that scares me more than just going along with it. I guess I'll just have to think of something.

You're storing up a lot of future problems if you keep letting things reach a similar point and you can't express how you feel without adding a layer of bullshit.

You don't like her, by your own admission you're literally forcing yourself to do stuff with her because you it would be rude to say no (the fuck, man) and you're at a point where you resent her with hate not that far behind, but you still can't bring yourself to be honest about how you feel? I ask again, how far would things have to go before you actually said something?

You can't continue through life dancing around things that make you uncomfortable. Use this as a learning experience, it'll be tough and you will probably feel like shit afterwards (more likely won't, that'll just be misplaced guilt), but you need to do this, it's not as selfish or rude as you might think it is.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I'm two months out of a four year old relationships, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? I just wanted to bang, I didn't ask for this.

Do men have biological clocks? I think my brain is ovulating.

Is this the first person you've met since the end of your last relationship?

 

[Sickboy007]

Is this the first person you've met since the end of your last relationship?

First I've kissed since, yes.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

What's a good birthday gift for a girl? Keep in mind that I'm not exactly loaded with cash as a uni student

Take her to her favorite restaurant or on a nice picnic? Hard to say, when all we know about this girl is (1) she's a girl, and (2) she was born.

I'd also add, how long have you been dating?

Never a good idea to do something big too early. A picnic sounds good though, weather permitting, but I'd probably keep it light and go somewhere fun. Arcades, mini golfing, bowling, etc.

Depends entirely on how long you've been dating and how far along the relationship is.

 

[Roberto Larcos]

Just wondered what people generally buy for their girlfriends as birthday gifts. Restaurant seems like a solid shout.

Perfume is a good shout, but don't try to judge it yourself. Go for something classic like Chanel No.5, no-one complains about that.

 

[electricshake]

Just wondered what people generally buy for their girlfriends as birthday gifts. Restaurant seems like a solid shout.

My bf has gotten me cat themed things, a board game, a video game, colouring pens and books, and clothes for my birthday/Christmas. Just depends what she likes. I love cats and games so that's why he gets me these things.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

First I've kissed since, yes.

I could be wrong, but maybe you're projecting some of the unprocessed feelings you still have lingering from your last relationship? Not going to be easy to move past four years in just two months, especially if this is your first time being close with someone, a lot of those feelings you thought were buried will come back up.

Or it could be love, it probably isn't, but I wouldn't rule it out. (it probably isn't)

 

[Sickboy007]

I could be wrong, but maybe you're projecting some of the unprocessed feelings you still have lingering from your last relationship? Not going to be easy to move past four years in just two months, especially if this is your first time being close with someone, a lot of those feelings you thought were buried will come back up.

Or it could be love, it probably isn't, but I wouldn't rule it out. (it probably isn't)

I hope you're right, but I never felt this way about my ex. I loved her, but I wasn't giddy like an 18 year old just thinking about her. She's probably the smartest girl I've ever met, and beautiful to boot. She's also way more similar to me personality-wise, which is ultimately the reason my last relationship went bad.

That said, on some sense you're probably right. The almost manic feeling could be a reaction of my self-worth kicking in after being repressed for a while. I do like her a lot though (btw, we messaged for like a week before meeting in person).

I'll try not to fuck it up, I'll keep you guys updated.

 

[velociraptor]

I'd also add, how long have you been dating?

Never a good idea to do something big too early. A picnic sounds good though, weather permitting, but I'd probably keep it light and go somewhere fun. Arcades, mini golfing, bowling, etc.

Depends entirely on how long you've been dating and how far along the relationship is.

4-5 months. Ah right, I see.

 

[Prodigal Son]

You're storing up a lot of future problems if you keep letting things reach a similar point and you can't express how you feel without adding a layer of bullshit.

You don't like her, by your own admission you're literally forcing yourself to do stuff with her because you it would be rude to say no (the fuck, man) and you're at a point where you resent her with hate not that far behind, but you still can't bring yourself to be honest about how you feel? I ask again, how far would things have to go before you actually said something?

You can't continue through life dancing around things that make you uncomfortable. Use this as a learning experience, it'll be tough and you will probably feel like shit afterwards (more likely won't, that'll just be misplaced guilt), but you need to do this, it's not as selfish or rude as you might think it is.

You're most likely right. I don't know if this is the kind of thing I should do in person but I'll probably try to shoot her a text soon if it's appropriate.

 

[Spinluck]

So I was dating this girl for a few weeks and it was going really well, I was actually quite optimistic but just taking it step by step.

All of a sudden she texts me at 1am a few nights ago telling me that she's unsure what she wants. She hates waiting around for me to text, she doesn't want to base her happiness on someone and bullshit like that.

She also says she really likes me but it's on a shallow level and she's not sure if she's ready to commit at a time when it's starting to get serious.

I tell her that I feel the same way as we've only met a few times. We're not just gonna meet and fall in love and get into a relationship. I think it was still very early days and not serious at all.

She proposes that we don't speak and that she'll text me when she realises how she feels. It could be a day or up to a week.

I tell her fuck that, I'm starting a post-grad course this week and really don't need to be on edge waiting for her to message.

She also admitted to being hooked on weed which I would guess all the paranoia comes from. She'd previously told me that she'd never had a relationship or been on a date because guy's only treated her as a fuck buddy.

It's pretty clear now that's what she wanted. She kept talking about sex and saying that I was too smooth to genuinely want to date. I think she pulled out once she realised that I was being genuine.

Girls on Tinder are such fucking weirdos. Maybe I should just change my approach and forget trying to actually date them.

Parts of this sounds awfully familiar for me.

I think most girls on Tinder are just looking for some good dick. I think they're just as shallow as people generally make guys out to be.

 

[Sickboy007]

Parts of this sounds awfully familiar for me.

I think most girls on Tinder are just looking for some good dick. I think they're just as shallow as people generally make guys out to be.

I should have stuck with Tinder.

 

[Spinluck]

I should have stuck with Tinder.

Yeah, there seems to be a fuck first, think about relationships later thing going on now.

 

[Sickboy007]

Yeah, there seems to be a fuck first, think about relationships later thing going on now.

It's probably Trump. People are getting ready for that end of the world orgy.

 

[Spinluck]

Just keep working at it man.

As long as you don't have ridiculously high standards you'll get laid pretty easy on Tinder. If getting laid is indeed all you want.

 

[neoanarch]

So I got a girls number and now I'm flaking on texting her. Cause I am an idiot. She is obviously interested enough that she gives you her number. But that little nagging negative voice is in the back of you head is there. So Gaf how do you quiet the negativity and send out the first text or call?

 

[Denzar]

Just keep working at it man.

As long as you don't have ridiculously high standards you'll get laid pretty easy on Tinder. If getting laid is indeed all you want.

About that. Since I made it abundantly clear to myself that I'm in no shape or form to be dating (see introverted girl bullshit), how do I go about getting laid through Tinder?

I get plenty of matches but I've never had sex with one of them. Well, not directly anyway. Do I just put "not looking for anything serious" or something of the like in my description or do you guys think it's better to leave that out, meet up and see from there?

 

[neoanarch]

About that. Since I made it abundantly clear to myself that I'm in no shape or form to be dating (see introverted girl bullshit), how do I go about getting laid through Tinder?

I get plenty of matches but I've never had sex with one of them. Well, not directly anyway. Do I just put "not looking for anything serious" or something of the like in my description or do you guys think it's better to leave that out, meet up and see from there?

Not directly? The question is why does it never get anywhere if you're looking for a hook up?

 

[Sickboy007]

So I got a girls number and now I'm flaking on texting her. Cause I am an idiot. She is obviously interested enough that she gives you her number. But that little nagging negative voice is in the back of you head is there. So Gaf how do you quiet the negativity and send out the first text or call?

Most human beings are terrible, if you aren't you already have the advantage.

 

[Mahonay]

So I got a girls number and now I'm flaking on texting her. Cause I am an idiot. She is obviously interested enough that she gives you her number. But that little nagging negative voice is in the back of you head is there. So Gaf how do you quiet the negativity and send out the first text or call?

Realize that she talked to you and gave you her number in the first place. She has indicated she'd like to see you again. Fulfill the interaction. Shoot her a text and let it ride from there.

 

[Denzar]

Not directly? The question is why does it never get anywhere if you're looking for a hook up?

Not directly as in, we matched, talked, ran into eachother coïncidentally while drunk and banged.

It never goes anywhere 'cause I don't initiate conversation. I'm planning to ofc., hence the question. Should've made that clear.

 

[ZackieChan]

So I got a girls number and now I'm flaking on texting her. Cause I am an idiot. She is obviously interested enough that she gives you her number. But that little nagging negative voice is in the back of you head is there. So Gaf how do you quiet the negativity and send out the first text or call?

Like all things in life, you just sack up and fucking do it