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[names2hard4you]

I'd say this is a rookie move and a bad way to think. You gotta play it cool, homey. Don't get all tripped up because she's beautiful - that'll shine through in your intersections, I think.

We have spoken on the phone, and overall like I mentioned before she just seems like a very fun, loving girl. I don't think her beauty alone will make me act off, I am actually looking forward to meeting her. I too often find myself dating girls that love to play the "dating game" and aren't honest. My first impression through both text and the phone is that she is very honest and fun.

I think the spontaneous 'let's meet and go somewhere cool' can be a really nice set up for a date. Even if it isn't really spontaneous. Good luck!

This is from personal experience, but I always find these kinds of dates to be the best ones. You can talk as you walk, and you are walking with a set goal to go somewhere, so it's not aimless in the end. It also helps to alleviate any kind of tension or shyness on their side for the first time you meet, since they aren't sitting in front of you in what seems like an interview.

Not to say those types of dates are bad, meeting at the coffee place or restaurant, whatever. It just helps to know them a little better before sitting and looking eye to eye

 

[Sickboy007]

Third date went really well. So good that I had a panic attack at the end and I probably blew it. Fuck my entire being.

 

[Mory Dunz]

Of the mistakes Jason made there, the response to the sex thing wasn't one.

imo, it's kind of a effin weird thing to say to someone to begin with. You're dancing and kissing, and she says out loud that you're not having sex tonight. Like, what?

onepunchok.gif seems a ok response given it's a dumb declaration to make. Plus it kills the moment whether you planned on doing it that night or not.

Spoiler

also a bit presumptuous no?

 

[ZackieChan]

Maybe it's not Jason, but rather the girls he's going out with?

Spoiler

Probably both

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Third date went really well. So good that I had a panic attack at the end and I probably blew it. Fuck my entire being.

You need to chill the fuck out man.

Relax, it's much more likely you haven't blown anything and your over-investment in this relationship plus the feelings from your last relationship have you off balance. Take a breath, it'll be okay. There's no need to put so much pressure on yourself or this relationship.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

We have spoken on the phone, and overall like I mentioned before she just seems like a very fun, loving girl. I don't think her beauty alone will make me act off, I am actually looking forward to meeting her. I too often find myself dating girls that love to play the "dating game" and aren't honest. My first impression through both text and the phone is that she is very honest and fun.

This is from personal experience, but I always find these kinds of dates to be the best ones. You can talk as you walk, and you are walking with a set goal to go somewhere, so it's not aimless in the end. It also helps to alleviate any kind of tension or shyness on their side for the first time you meet, since they aren't sitting in front of you in what seems like an interview.

Not to say those types of dates are bad, meeting at the coffee place or restaurant, whatever. It just helps to know them a little better before sitting and looking eye to eye

Sounds good, just avoid putting her on any kind of pedestal and you'll be golden.

 

[Sickboy007]

You need to chill the fuck out man.

Relax, it's much more likely you haven't blown anything and your over-investment in this relationship plus the feelings from your last relationship have you off balance. Take a breath, it'll be okay. There's no need to put so much pressure on yourself or this relationship.

Thanks. I'm definetely off balance right now, lots of unresolved emotional baggage.

We just texted and she was really understanding. She told me that next time it happens I should tell her 'you're really cute' as a safe word.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Thanks. I'm definetely off balance right now, lots of unresolved emotional baggage.

We just texted and she was really understanding. She told me that next time it happens I should tell her 'you're really cute' as a safe word.

She sounds awesome. Now just try to relax and not put too much pressure on yourself or how things progress, that's the road to self sabotage.

Easier said than done, I know..Maybe try some breathing exercises and try to work through your baggage by confiding in a close friend/family member. You've got this, focus on moving past those past feelings that have you feeling this way so they don't interfere with your future happiness.

 

[Sickboy007]

She sounds awesome. Now just try to relax and not put too much pressure on yourself or how things progress, that's the road to self sabotage.

Easier said than done, I know..Maybe try some breathing exercises and try to work through your baggage by confiding in a close friend/family member. You've got this, focus on moving past those past feelings that have you feeling this way so they don't interfere with your future happiness.

Thanks again. I probably see her as a one-way ticket to happiness-land and that's not healthy. On the other hand, she really is fucking awesome.

 

[gaiages]

I'll never understand some of JU's situations.

They sound so absurd.

Honestly, I think most of Jason's situations are quite typical for someone in the dating game, it's just his attention to detail and over analysis that makes them seem far more than what they are.

 

[badboy78660]

Lol so one of my boys is asking for advice on this conversation he has going on with a girl he met last night. Having a hard time figuring out if that bit at the end is a compliment or not

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Playful banter, doesn't have any deeper meaning.

 

[brawly]

Lol so one of my boys is asking for advice on this conversation he has going on with a girl he met last night. Having a hard time figuring out if that bit at the end is a compliment or not

It's a compliment

Spoiler

for the cat.

Why would it matter anyway? She's texting with him, so clearly she deems him cute enough.

 

[badboy78660]

Playful banter, doesn't have any deeper meaning.

It's a compliment

Spoiler

for the cat.

Why would it matter anyway? She's texting with him, so clearly she deems him cute enough.

I appreciate the replies. Yeah, I told him not to get too worked up about it--guy just recently put himself back on the market after a rough divorce so his self-esteem/confidence could use some work

 

[ZackieChan]

He belongs in this thread

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Even with self esteem issues, I'm surprised he didn't read it as the banter it was. Did he literally just stop replying and message you the screenshot?

 

[names2hard4you]

Although playful, I can understand the guy. I've seen people flip over less lol. I wouldn't have been offended or anything, but that's a poor choice of words if I've ever seen them lol. Plus with the self-esteem issues on top, I can totally see the guy being a little shook.

 

[MogCakes]

Thanks guys! She's a terrible friend so in that case I'll just stop hanging out with her :lol



In a nightclub she pulled my chin down and gave me a peck on the lips and another time she pulled my face down holding both my cheeks towards her lips (I hesitated so we didn't kiss).

I just call it as I see it man.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Zackie, I'll take the both comment!

 

[ZackieChan]

Zackie, I'll take the both comment!

I do find it odd that the running theme seems to be roommates who are against you. What's the deal there?

 

[WolfeTone]

In the past I've always struggled with how to gracefully bring up the topic that I'm not looking for a serious relationship. I tend to attract girls who are looking for something serious or at least monogamous, so I think in my head I always pigeonhole them and assume that they're not down for something casual.

I'm lately realizing that I'm just assuming they have these feelings and this is hurting both them and myself.

Some of the recent girls I've met are the type I would have initially written-off because I'd assume they'd want a serious boyfriend. It's various things that lead me to making these assumptions, they're in the 25-35 age range of ''serious husband hunting'', they're from an Asian country and so obviously looking for a traditional boyfriend, they're very close to their family and obviously want their own family soon. None of these actually mean anything about what they want.

It really just comes back to communication. I have to stop assuming these girls want boyfriends and find out what they really want. I've found that rather than asking them directly what they want, it's better if I tell them what I'm looking for and then just listening to their answer.

Lesson learned: Project less. Don't assume you know what people want. Ask them. Be direct.

I already knew this really, but seriously, being direct pretty much works for every aspect of dating and relationships in general.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I do find it odd that the running theme seems to be roommates who are against you. What's the deal there?

Dont recall any being against me. One roommate back in December came to bail one out. Another roommates back in June they liked me. This was the only time where her friends were acting like assholes to me. One of them was her roommate.

 

[gwailo]

C'mon man, you've been in enough bars/clubs to know that groups of women are very protective of each other. The friends probably through she was too drunk to be doing anything. For all they knew, you were just some random guy grinding up on her. I do think you give off a slick player vibe also which caused a red flag to go up.

 

[WolfeTone]

You mentioned earlier Jason that this girl is about 10 years younger than you. Girls are very protective of their friends, especially when clubbing or alcohol is involved (for good reason). Think about how it might look from the friends' perspective. You might be giving off a creepy, predator vibe (not saying you are, just saying you might appear this way). Her friends are naturally protective of her. If the friends pick up a bad vibe from you, your chances drop to zero.

If you want to be successful in that kind of environment, charming the friends is crucial. I've always found a good approach is to lightly make fun of the girl to her friends. Say stuff like 'Is she always like this when you go out? Why do you put up with her?' or 'When do most guys usually realize she's psycho and bailout?'.

I'll echo some of the other posters and say that you're probably over-analyzing a bit. You did nothing wrong in this scenario. Sometimes things just don't work out for reasons outside your control.

 

[Smo21]

When's to soon to tell someone you care about them?

 

[ZackieChan]

When's to soon to tell someone you care about them?

Impossible to say, but probably more than a couple dates.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

You mentioned earlier Jason that this girl is about 10 years younger than you. Girls are very protective of their friends, especially when clubbing or alcohol is involved (for good reason). Think about how it might look from the friends' perspective. You might be giving off a creepy, predator vibe (not saying you are, just saying you might appear this way). Her friends are naturally protective of her. If the friends pick up a bad vibe from you, your chances drop to zero.

If you want to be successful in that kind of environment, charming the friends is crucial. I've always found a good approach is to lightly make fun of the girl to her friends. Say stuff like 'Is she always like this when you go out? Why do you put up with her?' or 'When do most guys usually realize she's psycho and bailout?'.

I'll echo some of the other posters and say that you're probably over-analyzing a bit. You did nothing wrong in this scenario. Sometimes things just don't work out for reasons outside your control.

Yeah. Well later on when I met her inside the bar she said her friends thought I was a random d-bag. One of them was with her (she was with some guy), and she warmed up to me. Even was going to buy me a round; but i wanted to be nice and buy the round.

Anyway she hasn't responded back, which I knew was going to happen.

One of my friends who tagged along that night said it was bad idea to go there. Even if she wanted me to go there, I should've just hung out with my friends and leave her be.

I was supposed to have a date Saturday night with another girl and she canceled last minute. And another one canceled last minute today.

Ouch, lol. Not a Good Friday, Saturday, and Monday experience.

 

[Astral]

I know I'm being extremely shallow for asking this but how do you lower your standards after dating a total bombshell? I feel like I got so lucky with my ex (or unlucky considering her personality). I know GAF hates the idea of there being a "league" but she was out of my league and girls as attractive as her are too. Yet that's what I want.

 

[vern]

I know I'm being extremely shallow for asking this but how do you lower your standards after dating a total bombshell? I feel like I got so lucky with my ex (or unlucky considering her personality). I know GAF hates the idea of there being a "league" but she was out of my league and girls as attractive as her are too. Yet that's what I want.

Don't lower your standards? Keep dating hot chicks. It's what I do

Spoiler

fiveheads not withstanding

.

 

[Astral]

Don't lower your standards? Keep dating hot chicks. It's what I do

Spoiler

fiveheads not withstanding

.

It's just something I see thrown around a lot. I guess I'm just not confident enough to to date really hot girls even though I have once before.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

I know I'm being extremely shallow for asking this but how do you lower your standards after dating a total bombshell? I feel like I got so lucky with my ex (or unlucky considering her personality). I know GAF hates the idea of there being a "league" but she was out of my league and girls as attractive as her are too. Yet that's what I want.

If you're attracted to "bombshells" then continue going for them. Be confident and approach them. A woman I was talking to told me she thinks she needs to put up a banner when she's out that says, "it's ok to talk to me!".

This last girl was a legit 9/10 in looks. I was even shocked when she was excited to see me on our first date. I approached her, we talked briefly, and told her we should get together for a drink and talk more. I was a bit drunk, so she ended up taking my phone and put her contact info in.

I think a lot of guys get intimidated by attractive women and they're afraid to approach them, so confidence is key.

 

[ZBR]

So my girlfriend and I kind of got into it a few days ago and she brought up the point that I never ask her how her day was. My counter was that I ask her everyday. My girlfriend runs her own daycare so whenever she gets home I ask her "How was daycare today?" or "How was it at the daycare today?" most times she replies with a "I don't want to talk about it." or "Fine." I told her all of this also.

Now, am I wrong in thinking that is kind of fucked up? or is there really a difference between "how was you day?" and "how was it at the daycare today?" I would understand it a bit more if she went to go do something afterwards but most of the time she comes home after she gets done with work.

 

[Salamando]

So my girlfriend and I kind of got into it a few days ago and she brought up the point that I never ask her how her day was. My counter was that I ask her everyday. My girlfriend runs her own daycare so whenever she gets home I ask her "How was daycare today?" or "How was it at the daycare today?" most times she replies with a "I don't want to talk about it." or "Fine." I told her all of this also.

Now, am I wrong in thinking that is kind of fucked up? or is there really a difference between "how was you day?" and "how was it at the daycare today?" I would understand it a bit more if she went to go do something afterwards but most of the time she comes home after she gets done with work.

Choose your battles. Fucked up or not, just start asking her how her day is.

 

[Aaron]

It's just something I see thrown around a lot. I guess I'm just not confident enough to to date really hot girls even though I have once before.

If you did it once, you can do it again. Maybe you can do what I did. I got dumped by a gorgeous woman, and went on a first dating spree on OkCupid to meet as many different women as I could. Even though I didn't click with any of them, we all had pleasant nights, and I learned a lot from the process. Then I had a date with an absolutely beautiful woman, and I felt both confident and prepared from those past experiences to make sure she had the best time. And she did. So if you feel like your skills aren't up to the task, get out there and get some experience. Maybe you'll make a few female friends in the process.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Went out to watch the debates and got a number the old fashioned way -- no, the real old fashioned way: her friend passed me a note asking if I was on a date (no), if I was into her friend that I was sitting next
to and chatting with (yes), and if I wanted her number (sure).

So, gotta text her tomorrow and set something up. Totally weird to not have something emerge from online dating.

 

[Benzychenz]

Alright so I matched with some girl on tinder a few days ago, her bio is just "Let's go on an adventure and fuck somewhere new." and her connected insta is just pics of her in lingerie.

So, this afternoon she sent me the first message, pretty boring convo, she's getting baked today, blah blah, I said we should chill and she said yeah sure but next week because she's on her period.

Should I follow through with this? Am I going to lose a kidney?

Also she lives like an hour drive away from me.

 

[vern]

Alright so I matched with some girl on tinder a few days ago, her bio is just "Let's go on an adventure and fuck somewhere new." and her connected insta is just pics of her in lingerie.

So, this afternoon she sent me the first message, pretty boring convo, she's getting baked today, blah blah, I said we should chill and she said yeah sure but next week because she's on her period.

Should I follow through with this? Am I going to lose a kidney?

Also she lives like an hour drive away from me.

Just smang. Enjoy your time.

 

[Benzychenz]

Just smang. Enjoy your time.

Well, that's all the convincing I needed! We'll see what she says when next week rolls around.

 

[vern]

Well, that's all the convincing I needed! We'll see what she says when next week rolls around.

I mean if she wanted to fuck your shit up or murder you she wouldn't wait til she's off her period. Unless she gets off on sex first then rips your throat out....

 

[Benzychenz]

I mean if she wanted to fuck your shit up or murder you she wouldn't wait til she's off her period. Unless she gets off on sex first then rips your throat out....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_cannibalism

 

[vern]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_cannibalism

She can't murder you while she fucks you whiles she's on her period? That actually sounds hot. Blood everywhere.

Anyway just be safe make sure she is real and meet in public first. Then smang.

 

[gaiages]

I know I'm being extremely shallow for asking this but how do you lower your standards after dating a total bombshell? I feel like I got so lucky with my ex (or unlucky considering her personality). I know GAF hates the idea of there being a "league" but she was out of my league and girls as attractive as her are too. Yet that's what I want.

Hot people get asked out less than you think. Why? Because everyone thinks the hot ones are out of their league. They may get complimented on their looks/catcalled a lot, but actual dates? Not so much. Just go for it.

Well, that's all the convincing I needed! We'll see what she says when next week rolls around.

Just make sure to tell someone where you're going, just in case. It's likely just sexy times, but always good to have a backup in case someone does try to steal your organs!

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Went out to watch the debates and got a number the old fashioned way -- no, the real old fashioned way: her friend passed me a note asking if I was on a date (no), if I was into her friend that I was sitting next
to and chatting with (yes), and if I wanted her number (sure).

Sometimes adults ask each other out the same way they did in second grade lol.

I've been on four dates with the same girl so far and she's pretty great. She's going to be my date to my cousin's wedding in a couple weeks, which should be really fun. I think I'm going to have my first official relationship ever, which is exciting.

 

[Spinluck]

Is every girl on Tinder a stoner? Jesus lol. I have never had a problem with weed, but these girls act like it's the best thing ever. Get a grip lol.

Someone telling me they're going to get high later is about the least interesting thing they can tell me.

 

[SeanC]

Is every girl on Tinder a stoner? Jesus lol. I have never had a problem with weed, but these girls act like it's the best thing ever. Get a grip lol.

Someone telling me they're going to get high later is about the least interesting thing they can tell me.

Could be worse. They could tell you how much they love being a vegan.

 

[gwailo]

So my girlfriend and I kind of got into it a few days ago and she brought up the point that I never ask her how her day was. My counter was that I ask her everyday. My girlfriend runs her own daycare so whenever she gets home I ask her "How was daycare today?" or "How was it at the daycare today?" most times she replies with a "I don't want to talk about it." or "Fine." I told her all of this also.

Now, am I wrong in thinking that is kind of fucked up? or is there really a difference between "how was you day?" and "how was it at the daycare today?" I would understand it a bit more if she went to go do something afterwards but most of the time she comes home after she gets done with work.

One question is asking about the job, the other is asking about her. It's semantics but that's par for the course when dealing with (some) women. If she is constantly saying she doesn't want to talk about her job, she probably doesn't like it and if you ask that every day, she is getting tired of it.

Usually fights over small things like this are a symptom of something bigger. How is the relationship otherwise?

 

[Astral]

Is every girl on Tinder a stoner? Jesus lol. I have never had a problem with weed, but these girls act like it's the best thing ever. Get a grip lol.

Someone telling me they're going to get high later is about the least interesting thing they can tell me.

I had a girl get angry at me for not wanting to smoke, whether it be weed, hookah, cigarettes, or whatever. She stopped talking to me soon after. It wasn't even "smoke with me" it was just "smoke you'll like it!" I get not liking someone for not sharing your interests but getting mad? I hate Tinder.

 

[Llyranor]

One question is asking about the job, the other is asking about her. It's semantics but that's par for the course when dealing with (some) women. If she is constantly saying she doesn't want to talk about her job, she probably doesn't like it and if you ask that every day, she is getting tired of it.

Usually fights over small things like this are a symptom of something bigger. How is the relationship otherwise?

Yeah. Maybe she's upset that you haven't picked up on her dismissive responses to 'how was daycare?', it may make it seem like you're not really paying attention. .

 

[dskillzhtown]

I've been dipping my pen in company ink lately and the more I learn about this girl, the more I am scared I would wake up with a butcher knife stuck in my chest. She had long hair, she cut it over the weekend because she thinks that "Hair carries the negativity of your past so to truly let go, you need to cut it off". She also tells me that she doesn't watch movies with people in masks, even the Marvel movies because "masks are a symbol of hiding evil." She also is deathly afraid of butterflies. I am usually just fascinated when around her because she is so bizarre and has zero self-awareness.

On top of all that, she has this "Queen" complex so she thinks she can do no wrong. I totally admit her looks is what attracted me to her and I thought she was somewhat normal. She has a good job and...who am I kidding it was 90% about her looks. But now the crazy has come out. Glad we work 2 buildings from each other.

 

[Astral]

I've been dipping my pen in company ink lately and the more I learn about this girl, the more I am scared I would wake up with a butcher knife stuck in my chest. She had long hair, she cut it over the weekend because she thinks that "Hair carries the negativity of your past so to truly let go, you need to cut it off". She also tells me that she doesn't watch movies with people in masks, even the Marvel movies because "masks are a symbol of hiding evil." She also is deathly afraid of butterflies. I am usually just fascinated when around her because she is so bizarre and has zero self-awareness.

On top of all that, she has this "Queen" complex so she thinks she can do no wrong. I totally admit her looks is what attracted me to her and I thought she was somewhat normal. She has a good job and...who am I kidding it was 90% about her looks. But now the crazy has come out. Glad we work 2 buildings from each other.

Fuck this shit right here. My ex had the same shit except in her case it was princess. She rarely ever admitted she did something wrong and even when she did, the shit I did was infinitely worse in her eyes. "You always say no to me." No I don't. You just focus on the times I say no and when I do, it's for a good reason. "You're not allowed to do this or that but it's perfectly fine if I do it." Fuck you. I say dip. It's worth getting a knife to the chest.