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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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I know my pictures suck a little, but I don't think they suck so hard to get almost no matches hahaha

I guess the problem is that I don't have very interesting pictures, any examples of good pictures to have on tinder?

Or maybe online dating isn't very popular where I live? 🤔 🤔 🤔
 

Solo

Member
Any tips on this whole online dating thing .

Ghosting is the new normal. People will just up and cut you off across social media without warning. That's the biggest thing you have to come to grips with. It goes both ways too. The longer you spend in the online dating world, you'll start ghosting people too if you just aren't feeling it. And the reason for all this ghosting is simple: people have a fucking plethora of options now due to online dating, and everyone on these apps is doing the same thing you are, playing the field and exhausting all their options. Sad but true, someone could seem like a good fit for you or into you, but they might still end up ghosting you if a better option is out there. It's a hard world, but that is dating in 2017.

I met my girlfriend off Tinder for what it's worth. When we matched, she was one of several women I was talking to, and even after our first date or two I was still going on other dates and talking to other girls. It wasn't until probably our third or fourth date where I had my lightbulb moment and realized how much I liked her. That's when I ghosted all the other girls and deleted Tinder. We've been together for 3 years now. So you can find what you're looking for out there!
 

Gizuko

Member
What do you guys do when you are having a hard (?) time communicating with someone?

This pretty interesting gal messaged me earlier but geez, is she hard to talk to. I probably need to take a hint.

I mean, if I ask you what you usually write about (in my language, this is ambiuous and could be asking if she writes prose, poems, or whatever, or have the same meaning as it has in english), don't simply tell me you write about your feelings! Like, come on, you are a much more interesting person than that - and if you are not, just ask something else, give me something to work with here. Jesus.

This is pretty worse than ghosting, at least ghosting can't mean she is bad at messaging.
 
I wish there was an app for "right now" meets.

Obviously that would tend towards hookups but Jesus if the whole tinder thing doesn't get boring fast. When I'm not in the mood I just don't open that app at all.

Maybe I just fancy a pint tonight and have no one to go with!
 
Been talking to a girl at work, and was wondering if it would be wise to just up and ask her if she had plans tonight over a text? She scribbled down her number last week, and today said she invited me to hike together whenever our days off line up- but I was thinking of just shooting a simple "Hey, you got any plans tonight?" And seeing where that goes. Thoughts? Does it look bad to not have asked in person when I had the chance? Or wait to ask face to face, and on a weekend?

Before bad idea to date coworkers, I don't plan on staying- and am working towards a different career. It's just a bloody retail job that pays a liveable wage
 
Been talking to a girl at work, and was wondering if it would be wise to just up and ask her if she had plans tonight over a text? She scribbled down her number last week, and today said she invited me to hike together whenever our days off line up- but I was thinking of just shooting a simple "Hey, you got any plans tonight?" And seeing where that goes. Thoughts? Does it look bad to not have asked in person when I had the chance? Or wait to ask face to face, and on a weekend?

Before bad idea to date coworkers, I don't plan on staying- and am working towards a different career. It's just a bloody retail job that pays a liveable wage

Don't think waiting til face to face is a bad thing. Neither is texting. Whatever you're more comfortable with. Asking her out 24 hours or so later won't make or break your chances unless she's already involved with someone
 

Stopdoor

Member
What do you guys do when you are having a hard (?) time communicating with someone?

This pretty interesting gal messaged me earlier but geez, is she hard to talk to. I probably need to take a hint.

I mean, if I ask you what you usually write about (in my language, this is ambiuous and could be asking if she writes prose, poems, or whatever, or have the same meaning as it has in english), don't simply tell me you write about your feelings! Like, come on, you are a much more interesting person than that - and if you are not, just ask something else, give me something to work with here. Jesus.

This is pretty worse than ghosting, at least ghosting can't mean she is bad at messaging.

I give up and turn to purely emojis, but then clearly that's a sour route going by a few pages back, lol.
 
What do you guys do when you are having a hard (?) time communicating with someone?

This pretty interesting gal messaged me earlier but geez, is she hard to talk to. I probably need to take a hint.

I mean, if I ask you what you usually write about (in my language, this is ambiuous and could be asking if she writes prose, poems, or whatever, or have the same meaning as it has in english), don't simply tell me you write about your feelings! Like, come on, you are a much more interesting person than that - and if you are not, just ask something else, give me something to work with here. Jesus.

This is pretty worse than ghosting, at least ghosting can't mean she is bad at messaging.

How can she be interesting when she's not communicating?
 

Raven117

Member
I wish there was an app for "right now" meets.

Obviously that would tend towards hookups but Jesus if the whole tinder thing doesn't get boring fast. When I'm not in the mood I just don't open that app at all.

Maybe I just fancy a pint tonight and have no one to go with!

You mean, actually meeting up with someone new without an ulterior motive of relationships, hooking up, weighing options or anything other than just the experience of speaking with a stranger to broaden your view of the world and have a pint?
 
What do you guys do when you are having a hard (?) time communicating with someone?

This pretty interesting gal messaged me earlier but geez, is she hard to talk to. I probably need to take a hint.

I mean, if I ask you what you usually write about (in my language, this is ambiuous and could be asking if she writes prose, poems, or whatever, or have the same meaning as it has in english), don't simply tell me you write about your feelings! Like, come on, you are a much more interesting person than that - and if you are not, just ask something else, give me something to work with here. Jesus.

This is pretty worse than ghosting, at least ghosting can't mean she is bad at messaging.

I talk to someone else, because my time and effort are valuable.

How can she be interesting when she's not communicating?

She's probably having a fantastic conversation with someone else she's more interested in, whether it's a girlfriend in real life or a guy on Tinder. Basically, sometimes conversations flicker out and die; it just happens. Nothing you can do about it.

This is why I love weirdos.

Some doctor messaged me and was like, "I'm going to Europe. Let's get drinks when I come back. I want to hear about Japanese sex crimes. Also, I'm Afghan, but I don't personally know any warlords."
 

Golgo 13

The Man With The Golden Dong
There is some weird stuff going on in this thread 😜

200w.gif
 
I imagine it sort of like the back alley behind a gay bar.

I'm currently in Japan with my roommate, who hates me. He has to rely on me since I speak the language.

He's spent the whole time on dating app caled skout and he's getting so many hits. I'm hoping he finds someone so I can ditch his ass.

I've been months without reading this thread and now I read this. Why the fuck did you go to Japan to live with him? Why the fuck didn't you tell him to fuck off after all he did to you?
Are you still with your gf? please, tell me you didn't leave her to go to live with your asshole roonmate to Japan.
 

vypek

Member
I've been months without reading this thread and now I read this. Why the fuck did you go to Japan to live with him? Why the fuck didn't you tell him to fuck off after all he did to you?
Are you still with your gf? please, tell me you didn't leave her to go to live with your asshole roonmate to Japan.

He is still with her. Recently had nice stories to share but roommate and Mega apparently had these tickets and plans before the falling out.
 
Welp. Got a date with a pretty one tonight. I was trying to stall a bit because I'm kinda broke after the last few nights out but she was pretty firm about wanting to meet up tonight. Oh well. We said just pints. Im sure I can swing a few. I would hate to have admit to me being a poor on the first date. Ugh.
 

Stopdoor

Member
Dang guys, third first date since I started using apps and I think we're in a relationship already
yes I know
. Like, it was legit, great vibe after being kinda hesitant over text. Went super bold (for me), arm around her shoulder and she was really into it. Talked about solid second dates and everything.

Wasn't expecting that.
 

Golgo 13

The Man With The Golden Dong
Welp. Got a date with a pretty one tonight. I was trying to stall a bit because I'm kinda broke after the last few nights out but she was pretty firm about wanting to meet up tonight. Oh well. We said just pints. Im sure I can swing a few. I would hate to have admit to me being a poor on the first date. Ugh.
You'll be fine my friend. I think it's best to end the date fairly early anyway -- in my experience I've found it's better to leave her wanting more on the first date than to make it seem like you'll hang out as long as she see's fit. Remember, she needs to realize you're busy and a valueable commodity :)
 
Dang guys, third first date since I started using apps and I think we're in a relationship already
yes I know
. Like, it was legit, great vibe after being kinda hesitant over text. Went super bold (for me), arm around her shoulder and she was really into it. Talked about solid second dates and everything.

Wasn't expecting that.

Sounds postive, hope it works out for you!
 
You'll be fine my friend. I think it's best to end the date fairly early anyway -- in my experience I've found it's better to leave her wanting more on the first date than to make it seem like you'll hang out as long as she see's fit. Remember, she needs to realize you're busy and a valueable commodity :)
I appreciate the advice. And normally I would do what you said. But it seems like this girl wants to keep hanging out. I explained why I am broke and she doesnt seem to mind at all. She wants to just grab a few beer and go back to my place so I'm just guna do that.

Edit: so we got back to my place. She recognized my Nuka Cola poster and talked about Fallout for a bit. That was sweet. Then we ordered pizza and had to go across the street to grab cash because Dominoes had a shit debit machine. I locked us out of my apartment so I had to spiderman up the balcony out back and my neighbour came out screaming at me like "what the fuck are you doing?"
Im like "I lovked myself out man I'm sorry"

Holy fuck. Nice first date so far.
 

Gizuko

Member
I talk to someone else, because my time and effort are valuable.



She's probably having a fantastic conversation with someone else she's more interested in, whether it's a girlfriend in real life or a guy on Tinder. Basically, sometimes conversations flicker out and die; it just happens. Nothing you can do about it.

This is why I love weirdos.

Some doctor messaged me and was like, "I'm going to Europe. Let's get drinks when I come back. I want to hear about Japanese sex crimes. Also, I'm Afghan, but I don't personally know any warlords."

Guess that's it, it's really not worth my time when even I am not enjoying the conversation.
 
I've been months without reading this thread and now I read this. Why the fuck did you go to Japan to live with him? Why the fuck didn't you tell him to fuck off after all he did to you?
Are you still with your gf? please, tell me you didn't leave her to go to live with your asshole roonmate to Japan.

She's at home waiting for me. She couldn't take the time off, anyway.

Which is a shame. She's been here before but it'd be nicer with her here. We spoke this morning. It was nice. I miss her terribly.

I'm so exhausted. I'm having fun, but this heat, man. I'm ready to go home.

 
She's at home waiting for me. She couldn't take the time off, anyway.

Which is a shame. She's been here before but it'd be nicer with her here. We spoke this morning. It was nice. I miss her terribly.

I'm so exhausted. I'm having fun, but this heat, man. I'm ready to go home.

Bit of a heatwave in SE Asia right now. I think Sunday was the hottest day I ever experienced. Good not to hear your roommate caused any drama so far.
 

gaiages

Banned
There is some weird stuff going on in this thread 😜

200w.gif

For us, it was Tuesday.

I've been months without reading this thread and now I read this. Why the fuck did you go to Japan to live with him? Why the fuck didn't you tell him to fuck off after all he did to you?
Are you still with your gf? please, tell me you didn't leave her to go to live with your asshole roonmate to Japan.

It's only a trip.

Dang guys, third first date since I started using apps and I think we're in a relationship already
yes I know
. Like, it was legit, great vibe after being kinda hesitant over text. Went super bold (for me), arm around her shoulder and she was really into it. Talked about solid second dates and everything.

Wasn't expecting that.

:|

Glad you had a good time but don't get too overinvested.

Bit of a heatwave in SE Asia right now. I think Sunday was the hottest day I ever experienced. Good not to hear your roommate caused any drama so far.

Meanwhile in Florida, aka humidity central, the humidity is down and you can like breathe outside! It's great! Thanks impending doom hurricane out of nowhere! \o/
 
Here's some sanity for y'all this morning.

Happy update, I'm off the market. I found a beautiful girl and last night we decided to make it official. We actually met through a GAF discord group.
 
Only just clocked this page! I've not long got back on the dating scene and it's not going too well but I'm not really putting a huge amount of effort in at the moment, however I need some advice if anyone can help?!

So firstly a guy I know fairly well invited me to a party at his with his partner. After lots of drinks we were talking about the fact I'm single now and his partner mentioned a friend of hers who is fairly nerdy and would really like me, and to add her on fb. I did so and she accepted and I sent her a quick message explaining why I added her etc, and she accepted the request and responded with "Oh bloody hell *insert my friends name* what is she like! And we had a few exchanges but didn't speak much more than that......

Now about 3 weeks later she has commented on a few of my statuses, and I've had several replies from her on some of her statuses etc, and it seems like she is actively speaking to me more now that she knows what I'm like, what I post on fb (nerdy shit of course).

So question is, I was really close when drunk over the weekend to drop her a message again and say something like "Hey sorry if this is super forward but you seem awesome and I'd love to grab a drink with you sometime, even just as friends?" Or something like that? She seems super awesome and I'd just like to meet her face to face and if something comes of it then amazing, if not I've made a new buddy.

What do you think I should do Gaf?! Send a message, and if so how should I word it? Or shall I just wait it out for longer and hope she appears at a party at some point and speak to her more naturally then? Speak to my mate and see if she can put a good word in? I don't know my mates partner as well as him so I feel a bit weird asking that unless I'm probably drunk lmao.


Sorry for the essay!! Needed some context to it all aha.
 

Raptomex

Member
Only just clocked this page! I've not long got back on the dating scene and it's not going too well but I'm not really putting a huge amount of effort in at the moment, however I need some advice if anyone can help?!

So firstly a guy I know fairly well invited me to a party at his with his partner. After lots of drinks we were talking about the fact I'm single now and his partner mentioned a friend of hers who is fairly nerdy and would really like me, and to add her on fb. I did so and she accepted and I sent her a quick message explaining why I added her etc, and she accepted the request and responded with "Oh bloody hell *insert my friends name* what is she like! And we had a few exchanges but didn't speak much more than that......

Now about 3 weeks later she has commented on a few of my statuses, and I've had several replies from her on some of her statuses etc, and it seems like she is actively speaking to me more now that she knows what I'm like, what I post on fb (nerdy shit of course).

So question is, I was really close when drunk over the weekend to drop her a message again and say something like "Hey sorry if this is super forward but you seem awesome and I'd love to grab a drink with you sometime, even just as friends?" Or something like that? She seems super awesome and I'd just like to meet her face to face and if something comes of it then amazing, if not I've made a new buddy.

What do you think I should do Gaf?! Send a message, and if so how should I word it? Or shall I just wait it out for longer and hope she appears at a party at some point and speak to her more naturally then? Speak to my mate and see if she can put a good word in? I don't know my mates partner as well as him so I feel a bit weird asking that unless I'm probably drunk lmao.


Sorry for the essay!! Needed some context to it all aha.
If I read that correctly, you didn't send the message. I would say go with that message or something similar. Leave "friends" out of it. Just my opinion. When I ask a woman out I usually send a similar message and it seems to go over well.
 
So question is, I was really close when drunk over the weekend to drop her a message again and say something like "Hey sorry if this is super forward but you seem awesome and I'd love to grab a drink with you sometime, even just as friends?" Or something like that? She seems super awesome and I'd just like to meet her face to face and if something comes of it then amazing, if not I've made a new buddy.

What do you think I should do Gaf?! Send a message, and if so how should I word it? Or shall I just wait it out for longer and hope she appears at a party at some point and speak to her more naturally then? Speak to my mate and see if she can put a good word in? I don't know my mates partner as well as him so I feel a bit weird asking that unless I'm probably drunk lmao.


Sorry for the essay!! Needed some context to it all aha.

Ask her out, don't say just as friends though. If you're attracted make it a date. If she says no then you're now friends and you won't be stuck in this limbo you're setting yourself up for.
 
If I read that correctly, you didn't send the message. I would say go with that message or something similar. Leave "friends" out of it. Just my opinion. When I ask a woman out I usually send a similar message and it seems to go over well.

Yeah I haven't sent her a message yet at all, just had something like that planned, almost did over the weekend with a bit of liquid courage haha. I'm away this weekend so perhaps I should send her a message next week.

Thanks for the tip :D

Ask her out, don't say just as friends though. If you're attracted make it a date. If she says no then you're now friends and you won't be stuck in this limbo you're setting yourself up for.



Good point. I'll deffo leave 'friends' out of the message.
 
Only just clocked this page! I've not long got back on the dating scene and it's not going too well but I'm not really putting a huge amount of effort in at the moment, however I need some advice if anyone can help?!

So firstly a guy I know fairly well invited me to a party at his with his partner. After lots of drinks we were talking about the fact I'm single now and his partner mentioned a friend of hers who is fairly nerdy and would really like me, and to add her on fb. I did so and she accepted and I sent her a quick message explaining why I added her etc, and she accepted the request and responded with "Oh bloody hell *insert my friends name* what is she like! And we had a few exchanges but didn't speak much more than that......

Now about 3 weeks later she has commented on a few of my statuses, and I've had several replies from her on some of her statuses etc, and it seems like she is actively speaking to me more now that she knows what I'm like, what I post on fb (nerdy shit of course).

So question is, I was really close when drunk over the weekend to drop her a message again and say something like "Hey sorry if this is super forward but you seem awesome and I'd love to grab a drink with you sometime, even just as friends?" Or something like that? She seems super awesome and I'd just like to meet her face to face and if something comes of it then amazing, if not I've made a new buddy.

What do you think I should do Gaf?! Send a message, and if so how should I word it? Or shall I just wait it out for longer and hope she appears at a party at some point and speak to her more naturally then? Speak to my mate and see if she can put a good word in? I don't know my mates partner as well as him so I feel a bit weird asking that unless I'm probably drunk lmao.


Sorry for the essay!! Needed some context to it all aha.

Once again the answer is in the topic title, just ask her out already.
 

Llyranor

Member
Thanks y'all!



I don't understand this reference. Sorry.
Dumb GAF joke about tipping in restaurants, sorry :(
Only just clocked this page! I've not long got back on the dating scene and it's not going too well but I'm not really putting a huge amount of effort in at the moment, however I need some advice if anyone can help?!

So firstly a guy I know fairly well invited me to a party at his with his partner. After lots of drinks we were talking about the fact I'm single now and his partner mentioned a friend of hers who is fairly nerdy and would really like me, and to add her on fb. I did so and she accepted and I sent her a quick message explaining why I added her etc, and she accepted the request and responded with "Oh bloody hell *insert my friends name* what is she like! And we had a few exchanges but didn't speak much more than that......

Now about 3 weeks later she has commented on a few of my statuses, and I've had several replies from her on some of her statuses etc, and it seems like she is actively speaking to me more now that she knows what I'm like, what I post on fb (nerdy shit of course).

So question is, I was really close when drunk over the weekend to drop her a message again and say something like "Hey sorry if this is super forward but you seem awesome and I'd love to grab a drink with you sometime, even just as friends?" Or something like that? She seems super awesome and I'd just like to meet her face to face and if something comes of it then amazing, if not I've made a new buddy.

What do you think I should do Gaf?! Send a message, and if so how should I word it? Or shall I just wait it out for longer and hope she appears at a party at some point and speak to her more naturally then? Speak to my mate and see if she can put a good word in? I don't know my mates partner as well as him so I feel a bit weird asking that unless I'm probably drunk lmao.


Sorry for the essay!! Needed some context to it all aha.
I knew before reading that you never met her.

(All the above advice is sound)
 
It is kind of funny the long form posts are generally the same.

Of course I've never done that, so I wouldn't know.

Haha my bad. Normally I'm fine with online dating and have met most of my previous relationships using online dating, this is the first time in ages that it's a friend of a friend that I want to go on a date with. Which makes stakes a little higher for me haha, hence the caution and posting on here lol.
 

Peltz

Member
Dang guys, third first date since I started using apps and I think we're in a relationship already
yes I know
. Like, it was legit, great vibe after being kinda hesitant over text. Went super bold (for me), arm around her shoulder and she was really into it. Talked about solid second dates and everything.

Wasn't expecting that.

You put your arm around her shoulder on the first date and she was into it?

Not only is she your gf, you're practically married.

(But really.... you can't know someone that fast. Enjoy yourself but take it slow dude.)
 
Neither of the dates I had over the weekend have responded to texts lol, feels bad man. I do have a couple of other people I'm messaging though.

I hate it when they don't mention they have children on the apps. I'm not about that. 😕
 
So the date last night was fun. She was really hot and into stuff I like, like Star Wars and LotR and had the same taste in videogames. We played some Rocket League. She played P.T and it scared the shit out of her, watched Return of the King. We hooked up but I think thats all she is really looking for is someone to have some fun with for the next bit because she sounds like she doesnt plan on staying in the city much longer. She got up this morning when I got up for work to leave and it was a wee bit awkward.

I'll give it a lil bit and see if she wants to hang out again. I'd be down for a partner in crime for the next month or so before she leaves. Or if it was just a one time thing it was still fun. She said I was the first date ahe had been on since she broke up with her long term BF so I'm not going to expect anything.

Just kinda sucks because a girl like that doesnt come around often. Eh.
 
She's at home waiting for me. She couldn't take the time off, anyway.

Which is a shame. She's been here before but it'd be nicer with her here. We spoke this morning. It was nice. I miss her terribly.

I'm so exhausted. I'm having fun, but this heat, man. I'm ready to go home.

I'm relieved to read it. Happy to see you two doing so well.
 

Stopdoor

Member
:|

Glad you had a good time but don't get too overinvested.

You put your arm around her shoulder on the first date and she was into it?

Not only is she your gf, you're practically married.

(But really.... you can't know someone that fast. Enjoy yourself but take it slow dude.)

I was kind of kidding around, I know the advice is don't get overinvested. I partly say it because she could almost use that advice, she came off as... transparent? Just a massive contrast to my last few dates.
 

Salamando

Member
What's the proper move for matching a girl whom you'd matched/met before?

Jan '16, we got drinks one night, went to a college basketball game another, and then I stopped texting once her texts became more abrupt. First date there was mad chemistry, fair bit on the second date too, so I don't know what happened.

Do I try again, tell her we'd gone out previously, or just laugh and move on?
 

gaiages

Banned
What's the proper move for matching a girl whom you'd matched/met before?

Jan '16, we got drinks one night, went to a college basketball game another, and then I stopped texting once her texts became more abrupt. First date there was mad chemistry, fair bit on the second date too, so I don't know what happened.

Do I try again, tell her we'd gone out previously, or just laugh and move on?

You can try again, but I wouldn't expect much. I wouldn't really bring up the date from over a year and a half ago unless she does.
 
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