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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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A better one is telling a girl you message on Facebook that read your messages "I know you read my message at 8:03pm"
dreamcastmaster
Banned
That's not how it reads emojis or not. You went feeling it but still spammed emoji? Sure looks like you didn't have a back up girl!
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Grabbed lunch today, she had a bit of a cold but I didn't mind. Had a short walk around on the beach and left. She seemed nice but I didn't feel a super close connection, I'll hit her up for another date with drinks to see if she was just feeling nervous. There were quite a few "I don't know" answers to pretty general questions, like what music she liked.
Was going to meet up with someone afterwards but she's at a friends place now. Might hit her up later. Honestly I'm just exhausted after this weekend.
Was going to meet up with someone afterwards but she's at a friends place now. Might hit her up later. Honestly I'm just exhausted after this weekend.
Just throw out a simple "what's up stranger how have you been" or mention something that you talked about that you saw in person.
Jzero
Member
Just be mysterious and ignore them, works for me and I don't even try. In my experience though, "alpha" women always come to you.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Then change your approach and fix that?
Don't just give up and be all like "I'm a beta male because that's how the world is". Girls don't like that.
longdi
Banned
Im 30 now, how to change my spots if that was how i lived for a third of my life? Is this a genetic thing or just a lifestyle mentality thing?
Furthermore, i feel you need great financial resources, to change our lives...you cant just drop your income stream and do adventurous stuff?
Furthermore, i feel you need great financial resources, to change our lives...you cant just drop your income stream and do adventurous stuff?
electricshake
Member
Don't call us females. It's fine as an adjective but not as a noun.
Raptomex
Member
Yeah I should have. We talked about burgers on Friday so that was the opening I used. I asked if she wanted to go to this burger place with me. She said yes and that she should have open evenings this week. I'll follow up and choose a day.
I need to go to a car wash now.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Wut?
No, it's a choice thing. Me ACHing you $50k wouldn't make you stop referring to women as "females" and wondering if -- I don't know -- something like, the ability to approach women was genetic or not.
You've got a lot of work to do.
I suggest you read the OP. I recommend you consider therapy. Also, wherever you encountered terms like "beta male," and I'm supposing it's reddit, you need to avoid those places forever.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
People referring to alphas and beta and all these technical terms for talking to people are huge red flags. To be successful at dating you only need to be relaxed and have decent self-esteem. Work on that and you will have a good time.
So, let's start longdi with...
- not referring to people as males or females like you're a clinical robot
- Saying you need money to date
- immediately going "I'M OLD WHY WOULD I CHANGE MYSELF" (lol you're 30, not old, and you're not a dog, you can change things if you want to
- Thinking you need to spend a bunch of time and money to be interesting. Unless you spend all your free time on the internet and consuming media, you're more interesting than you think.
Just two posts and you're immediately throwing all these red flags at us
- not referring to people as males or females like you're a clinical robot
- Saying you need money to date
- immediately going "I'M OLD WHY WOULD I CHANGE MYSELF" (lol you're 30, not old, and you're not a dog, you can change things if you want to
- Thinking you need to spend a bunch of time and money to be interesting. Unless you spend all your free time on the internet and consuming media, you're more interesting than you think.
Just two posts and you're immediately throwing all these red flags at us
longdi
Banned
Thats the thing...i work 10-12 hr shift weekdays, come home just to spend/waste rest time on internet. Come weekends, im kinda bumped out. I could quit the job, but its well paying, and at 30, employment opportunities are lowered with cheap immigrants and AI stuff.
Ok btw thought the term females is just a word, lol didnt expect the reactions it gets here..
Ok btw thought the term females is just a word, lol didnt expect the reactions it gets here..
Subpar Scrub
Banned
I don't know why, but the dates I went on over this weekend sort of felt a bit too interview-ish. Like, it was mostly the same questions and stuff with each person and the conversations felt like a whole lot of:
"So, do you like ****?",
"Yeah, I like *** and ****. You?"
"I enjoy ***."
Just over and over. I don't know, I felt kind of boring even though I was trying to push the conversations onward. I'll message both of them again and see if a second date will feel more comfortable but damn, it's bummed me out a little I guess haha.
"So, do you like ****?",
"Yeah, I like *** and ****. You?"
"I enjoy ***."
Just over and over. I don't know, I felt kind of boring even though I was trying to push the conversations onward. I'll message both of them again and see if a second date will feel more comfortable but damn, it's bummed me out a little I guess haha.
This is some /r/sadcringe material right here
Where did I go wrong guys (the first sad pizza message was 24 hours after the date proposal)
Wasn't really feeling it anyway
longdi
Banned
Shit that's what happened to me too. Is such thing supposed to be that way, and things will get better?
Uh, what industry do you work in? I find the bolded a bit of an odd comment.
Also you act like 30 is putting someone out to pasture or something lol. Maybe it's hard to find work for your industry or something but unless it's super heavy labor it's not because of your age, and even then 30's not really the cutoff there.
I'm guessing programming.
It's one thing to say "I can't find a new job", another to rationalize inaction due to the potential hardships of finding one. At least it's consistent with his desire to write-off hardships due to external factors. Being a "beta" because of genetics, come on.
He needs to own his life, and be the change he wants. If he wants it bad enough, it'll happen.
Are you generally a listener? I find that this happens often if both people are.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
I'm either, I can listen to someone speak for hours on end or talk my mouth off. I generally try to listen more during dates, unless they're short on words in which case I'll talk more and try to provoke some sort of discussion or whatever, but it just felt kind of weird.
Maybe it was the feeling of the discussion being too safe? I don't know.
Conversations like that can be quite awkward lol. Normally it shows lack of interest if those are the kind of answers you're receiving/providing. The cause for this could be very situational, such as something on the other persons mind. It could also just be that you two don't have that natural chemistry. Normally when you feel that "X" factor a conversation shouldn't feel forced and should feel very natural. If you can potentially handle another awkward dialog I'd say try it out again.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
And that's just the thing I guess. It wasn't awkward like neither of us wanted to be there, but just like neither of us knew what to say. I'll attempt to set up second dates and see how it goes.
Went on a date and it was mixed,
I went out for a bit and first thing I noticed is she was very quiet, barely talked in the restaurant. Also when ordering food she didn't have the greatest of attitude, got really off vibes.
Once we got outside and walked around the city it got much better. I was able to talk to her and just be a bit more relaxed, we kissed at the end of the date as well. I'm quite mixed she wants to hangout again I agreed to it but just going with the flow of things. I'm still super young i'll see where this goes.
I went out for a bit and first thing I noticed is she was very quiet, barely talked in the restaurant. Also when ordering food she didn't have the greatest of attitude, got really off vibes.
Once we got outside and walked around the city it got much better. I was able to talk to her and just be a bit more relaxed, we kissed at the end of the date as well. I'm quite mixed she wants to hangout again I agreed to it but just going with the flow of things. I'm still super young i'll see where this goes.
Messofanego
Banned
Immigrants gonna steal your job?
longdi
Banned
Yes im in the IT field and sadly, this is a fear we all have...especially bad for me who overthinks things...:/
Hence i rather stay stuck in the rut and losing years of my life on the desk.
Anyone managed to break this vicious cycle? Yes i admit i have esteem issues, since im never the brightest spark in class, had to grind my way to finish school and luckily land a comfortable paid job. Not a wisecracking dude, bad experience since young and my brain is wired to logically get out of spot asap.
I dun want to live the rest of my life alone but yet i dont feel adequate to meet the OP terms. :/
SmackDaddy
Member
Make yourself indespensible and then you won't have to say things like "immigrants takin muh jerb"
Everything in your post is self-deprecating. I'd start there by learning to love yourself and being proud of where you're at.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Fucking hell. Went out with some buddies and got fucked up last night. We were having races at the pub by pushing someone in a chair around the bar. Broke my big toe on my right foot. Cant walk. In lots of pain. I think I had fun? Definitely did not pick up. I do have a reeses peanut butter cup on the table in front of me tho.
artsi
Member
I use (or used.. as I'm not really available anymore) that and got a conversation started 95% of the time but I dunno, maybe it's different in other countries where you need to make up something funny.
That or I just post a random gif.
stn
Member
Don't be one of those guys who watched a PUA video and now attaches a label to everything. Forget beta and alpha, just focus on a being a solid person who has self-respect and likes to meet people. The "females" will come if you adopt that mentality AND also invest time in going out.
PancakeBurglar
Member
Beta and Alpha talk is so obnoxious, whenever I read something that uses terms like that I struggle to take it seriously. Terms like that often used by PUA and sexist assholes, as others have said just focus on being a decent person and work on things like fitness, fashion, grooming, social interactions if you have trouble attracting women, eventually you'll meet someone who is a good fit for you.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Obi wan "hello there" gif is what I usually use if I can't come up with anything lol
TheLostBigBoss
Banned
I'm a gamma male
LookAtMeGo
Member
Omega man here.
PancakeBurglar
Member
Guys clearly Sigma Males is what you need to be in order to attract women.
So, I messed up big time last night. I met this girl on Tinder a little over a month ago. We get along really well and have very similar personalities which is great. We have talked pretty much daily over the past month. The first date (after about a week or two of talking) went extremely well. I could tell she was totally into me and I was into her as well. It ended with us making out for quite a while before separating.
I was supposed to go out on a second date with her last week, but I had an awful cold and had to cancel. She was disappointed, but understood. We continued to talk and I told her that I definitely want to see her next weekend. We were supposed to go on a date last night. I was super excited to see her again. I could tell that tonight was going to be the night where I bring her back to my place. I spent about an hour cleaning everything real well in my apartment. I had several hours before the date so I decided to lie down on the couch for a bit and watch a movie. Huge mistake. My dumb ass fell asleep and didn't wake up until almost 2 hours after the date was going to start. I apologized profusely, but she just wasn't having it. I feel like I would have been okay if I never cancelled last week, but she was probably sick of it after last night.
I'm really disappointed in myself that I messed this up, but I really liked this girl and I hate to see it end this way. We have not communicated whatsoever today. Is there anything I can do or do I just need to move on and accept that I screwed up?
I was supposed to go out on a second date with her last week, but I had an awful cold and had to cancel. She was disappointed, but understood. We continued to talk and I told her that I definitely want to see her next weekend. We were supposed to go on a date last night. I was super excited to see her again. I could tell that tonight was going to be the night where I bring her back to my place. I spent about an hour cleaning everything real well in my apartment. I had several hours before the date so I decided to lie down on the couch for a bit and watch a movie. Huge mistake. My dumb ass fell asleep and didn't wake up until almost 2 hours after the date was going to start. I apologized profusely, but she just wasn't having it. I feel like I would have been okay if I never cancelled last week, but she was probably sick of it after last night.
I'm really disappointed in myself that I messed this up, but I really liked this girl and I hate to see it end this way. We have not communicated whatsoever today. Is there anything I can do or do I just need to move on and accept that I screwed up?
KIFFLOM fellow brother/ sister.
entremet
Member
Back on the market!
A relationship that started promising just fizzled out. Chemistry died and it needed to be put to sleep. Kinda excited to get back in the scene again.
A few things here. Why are you texting her so much? You're killing any tension. Don't be so available.
Also, you made a mistake. Apologize once and move on. You're human. If she likes you, she'll give you another chance. Moreover, are you dating other people? You're not exclusive so keep dating around. It will help you be less anxious about finding the One. You'll also appear less needy and hence more attractive.
A relationship that started promising just fizzled out. Chemistry died and it needed to be put to sleep. Kinda excited to get back in the scene again.
A few things here. Why are you texting her so much? You're killing any tension. Don't be so available.
Also, you made a mistake. Apologize once and move on. You're human. If she likes you, she'll give you another chance. Moreover, are you dating other people? You're not exclusive so keep dating around. It will help you be less anxious about finding the One. You'll also appear less needy and hence more attractive.
Thanks for the input! I wouldn't say we text constantly throughout the day, but we definitely have a few minutes of texting each day. Some days longer than others. I agree that the constant texting (with minimal dates) wasn't a great idea.
Do you think I should just hold out from texting her and see if she decides to text me back? I am definitely going to continue dating around. I will admit that I somewhat focused on her after we hit it off so well on the first date. Something I will refrain from doing in the future.
entremet
Member
Thanks bud! Best of luck to you getting back into the game.
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