Support NeoGAF

[Ray Wonder]

How much do ex's that still have feelings for the person you're dating bother you if the person you're dating shows no interest in them.

How do you know the ex has feelings? Did the ex text the person you're dating? Or do you know this person?

Because if the person you're dating is entertaining her ex by texting them, I'd be worried. I just went through this shit like last month.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I don't want to sound like I was shooting down the idea. Considering the youngest female in my current branch is in her late 40s, I can safely assume you're not talking about my office

By no means is this an absolute, but does she know your name before you do your transaction? If you're not in the branch every day and she does, I'd feel a little more strongly about your prospects. Tellers have all kinds of tricks to make personal connections with their customers but it usually involves pulling up their information first.

As for the 10 minutes thing, certainly could be true. We used to get our surveys at 12:16 on Friday afternoons. Exactly at 12:16. My people would do whatever it took to get all 5's as the bank I was working for at the time paid significant bonuses to their entire staff for the results of those scores.

Well, she remembered me and my shenanigans from the first time I talked to her at the second time I chatted with her.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

How do you know the ex has feelings? Did the ex text the person you're dating? Or do you know this person?

Because if the person you're dating is entertaining her ex by texting them, I'd be worried. I just went through this shit like last month.

I'm not seeing anyone right now but my friend is dating someone and apparently their ex sent them a handbag for Christmas even though they broke up 6 months ago. She said they speak occasionally but not much and told him she didn't know how to make things more clear to him and she brought it up because she thought it was too big of a gift to get from him for Christmas.

I told him along you're thinking but I was curious what others thought since he's across country where she used to live and she brought it up as being a crazy thing to receive. Maybe I just don't trust anyone but people in general speaking with ex's usually just causes unnecessary headaches.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Whatever you do, don't ask out a teller by passing her a note.

 

[LucidMomentum]

Whatever you do, don't ask out a teller by passing her a note.

That works at a strip club though...

 

[Ray Wonder]

I'm not seeing anyone right now but my friend is dating someone and apparently their ex sent them a handbag for Christmas even though they broke up 6 months ago. She said they speak occasionally but not much and told him she didn't know how to make things more clear to him and she brought it up because she thought it was too big of a gift to get from him for Christmas.

I told him along you're thinking but I was curious what others thought since he's across country where she used to live and she brought it up as being a crazy thing to receive. Maybe I just don't trust anyone but people in general speaking with ex's usually just causes unnecessary headaches.

Does she work with her ex? How did he give her a gift? They met up and he gave her a gift? Idk, sounds weird.

Also, disclaimer, after this past time I'm super paranoid about ex's

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Does she work with her ex? How did he give her a gift? They met up and he gave her a gift? Idk, sounds weird.

Also, disclaimer, after this past time I'm super paranoid about ex's

He lives across country so I just presumed shipped it to her but honestly I'd have to ask.

 

[Ray Wonder]

He lives across country so I just presumed shipped it to her but honestly I'd have to ask.

Ohhhhh, yeah, that makes sense. Sorry, I misread. I'd feel kinda safe knowing they're so far away.

 

[Salamando]

I'm not seeing anyone right now but my friend is dating someone and apparently their ex sent them a handbag for Christmas even though they broke up 6 months ago. She said they speak occasionally but not much and told him she didn't know how to make things more clear to him and she brought it up because she thought it was too big of a gift to get from him for Christmas.

I told him along you're thinking but I was curious what others thought since he's across country where she used to live and she brought it up as being a crazy thing to receive. Maybe I just don't trust anyone but people in general speaking with ex's usually just causes unnecessary headaches.

Everyone's got shit that causes unnecessary headaches.

Did she send the handbag back?

 

[LucidMomentum]

I'm not seeing anyone right now but my friend is dating someone and apparently their ex sent them a handbag for Christmas even though they broke up 6 months ago. She said they speak occasionally but not much and told him she didn't know how to make things more clear to him and she brought it up because she thought it was too big of a gift to get from him for Christmas.

I told him along you're thinking but I was curious what others thought since he's across country where she used to live and she brought it up as being a crazy thing to receive. Maybe I just don't trust anyone but people in general speaking with ex's usually just causes unnecessary headaches.

A friend of mine got both Pokémon Sun & Moon from his Ex, with a letter.

He then had to talk to her and explain to her that they broke up for a reason.

He's still playing them though.

But yeah, I wouldn't look too much into it.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

A friend of mine got both Pokémon Sun & Moon from his Ex, with a letter.

He then had to talk to her and explain to her that they broke up for a reason.

He's still playing them though.

Savage bruh.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Everyone's got shit that causes unnecessary headaches.

Did she send the handbag back?

No, she kept it

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

So met a girl over the Christmas break who I'm honestly crazy about. We've absolutely hit it off, more than any other girl I've dated in two years. I'm confident she feels similarly, and every date we have is an absolute blast. Been dating about a month now.

Problem is... she's a little younger than me, and she goes back to college in a week and a half. We've agreed we'll give things a go when she goes back, and already arranged for me to catch the train down to her college town a couple weeks after she goes down. I can afford the train fare on a regular basis.

Anybody in a similar situation got any tips on making it work week to week? I tend to be a little bit of a needy person, and I can just see her out living the college lifestyle grating on me while I'm working a 9-5 back here.

 

[LucidMomentum]

Savage bruh.

Kid's got more game than I do, admittedly. The funny thing is he doesn't have to even try. He's in worse shape than I am fitness wise but he's 6'4" so the ladies love him.

Anybody in a similar situation got any tips on making it work week to week? I tend to be a little bit of a needy person, and I can just see her out living the college lifestyle grating on me while I'm working a 9-5 back here.

All I'm gonna say is. Be her daddy, but don't be her dad.

Be chill. "College life" is most of the time stressing about bills, studying, and maybe letting loose once in a while. Sounds like she wants to let loose by hanging out with you on the regular.

If you can't / don't want to trust her, then it's gonna bug you a lot more than it's worth. I say that as someone who's had multiple LDRs.

Eventually I just stopped thinking the worst and life got way easier.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

A friend of mine got both Pokémon Sun & Moon from his Ex, with a letter.

He then had to talk to her and explain to her that they broke up for a reason.

He's still playing them though.

But yeah, I wouldn't look too much into it.

Geez, at least get them one version so they're forced to trade with you for the rest.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Whatever you do, don't ask out a teller by passing her a note.

 

[Makonero]

So met a girl over the Christmas break who I'm honestly crazy about. We've absolutely hit it off, more than any other girl I've dated in two years. I'm confident she feels similarly, and every date we have is an absolute blast. Been dating about a month now.

Problem is... she's a little younger than me, and she goes back to college in a week and a half. We've agreed we'll give things a go when she goes back, and already arranged for me to catch the train down to her college town a couple weeks after she goes down. I can afford the train fare on a regular basis.

Anybody in a similar situation got any tips on making it work week to week? I tend to be a little bit of a needy person, and I can just see her out living the college lifestyle grating on me while I'm working a 9-5 back here.

Skype on a regular basis. Stay busy on your end so you don't get needy. Be open about how you're feeling and make sure communication lines stay open. Don't get upset if it falls apart because of distance, these things happen.

 

[TimeEffect]

Talking to a girl who is pretty receptive and even flirty

Problem is she has one pic only, another with her back turned and far away and she's likely heavier than she appears. I guess thats all fine but id like to know what im getting into. She's also half an inch taller than me and Im wondering if that would be considered awkward

Last time i did this, the girl was an inch taller and i dont think she was impressed

 

[Megalosaro]

So met a girl over the Christmas break who I'm honestly crazy about. We've absolutely hit it off, more than any other girl I've dated in two years. I'm confident she feels similarly, and every date we have is an absolute blast. Been dating about a month now.

Problem is... she's a little younger than me, and she goes back to college in a week and a half. We've agreed we'll give things a go when she goes back, and already arranged for me to catch the train down to her college town a couple weeks after she goes down. I can afford the train fare on a regular basis.

Anybody in a similar situation got any tips on making it work week to week? I tend to be a little bit of a needy person, and I can just see her out living the college lifestyle grating on me while I'm working a 9-5 back here.

How much older are you, out of curiosity?

There is this girl I think is pretty cute and I love talking to. Decided not to go for it because I'm 29 and she's 21. The generational gap was ridiculous in a lot of ways.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Talking to a girl who is pretty receptive and even flirty

Problem is she has one pic only, another with her back turned and far away and she's likely heavier than she appears. I guess thats all fine but id like to know what im getting into. She's also half an inch taller than me and Im wondering if that would be considered awkward

Last time i did this, the girl was an inch taller and i dont think she was impressed

You can't criticize her when you apparently don't have any pictures posted yourself. That said, the more zoomed out the picture it is, the heavier she is. And you can't see her face, either? I mean, I think you're basically handicapping yourself -- dating sites are mainstream and normalized these days -- with your approach. For what it's worth, I had a MUCH more restrictive job and I still used OKCupid.

Besides, I thought you only messaged people without pictures, which amounts to like 0.2% of your potential pool? How can you even estimate that you might be attracted to them?

Anyway, don't be afraid of the height differential. I basically exclusively dated petite brunette Jewish girls, and now I'm with an Amazonian redhead who's maybe an inch shorter than me and would definitely be taller than me in heels or boots. It's hot. And it's only awkward if you make it awkward.

How much older are you, out of curiosity?

There is this girl I think is pretty cute and I love talking to. Decided not to go for it because I'm 29 and she's 21. The generational gap was ridiculous in a lot of ways.

Why? You'll have different interests, but that's what makes it fun. I'm dating someone eight years younger than me (I'm almost 34; she's 26), and while she doesn't get my stupid 90s kid references, that shit doesn't actually matter.

She's cute and you love talking to her. Isn't that what matters?

 

[TimeEffect]

You can't criticize her when you apparently don't have any pictures posted yourself. That said, the more zoomed out the picture it is, the heavier she is. And you can't see her face, either? I mean, I think you're basically handicapping yourself -- dating sites are mainstream and normalized these days -- with your approach. For what it's worth, I had a MUCH more restrictive job and I still used OKCupid.

Besides, I thought you only messaged people without pictures, which amounts to like 0.2% of your potential pool? How can you even estimate that you might be attracted to them?

Anyway, don't be afraid of the height differential. I basically exclusively dated petite brunette Jewish girls, and now I'm with an Amazonian redhead who's maybe an inch shorter than me and would definitely be taller than me in heels or boots. It's hot. And it's only awkward if you make it awkward.

I sent her 5 pretty clear pics of myself. I dont mind her appearance. Im just thinking that 1 angled pic may not be what it ends up appearing to be. I can see her face.

And no i message anyone, Im okay with the height, im just worried she may not be.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

I sent her 5 pretty clear pics of myself. I dont mind her appearance. Im just thinking that 1 angled pic may not be what it ends up appearing to be

And no i message anyone, Im okay with the height, im just worried she may not be

You sent her 5 pics of yourself and she didn't volunteer more of her, leaving you with the blurry, zoomed-out shot?

Yeah, she's fat.

Anyway: don't worry about what you can't control. Whether or not she wants a 6'8" dude or whatever is her problem, not yours.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

How much older are you, out of curiosity?

There is this girl I think is pretty cute and I love talking to. Decided not to go for it because I'm 29 and she's 21. The generational gap was ridiculous in a lot of ways.

I'm 23, she's 19. V. Mature for her age without being haughty and uptight.

 

[TimeEffect]

You sent her 5 pics of yourself and she didn't volunteer more of her, leaving you with the blurry, zoomed-out shot?

Yeah, she's fat.

Anyway: don't worry about what you can't control. Whether or not she wants a 6'8" dude or whatever is her problem, not yours.

Alright I wont worry about it.

She has one close up pic but its angled... I don't mean to be mean, but u know how some girls angle pics to look dramatically less bigger than they are? The other pic is just some super zoomed out of her on a field

She also doesnt want to give me her IG until we talk more which is fine.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I'm 23, she's 19. V. Mature for her age without being haughty and uptight.

Yall serious? 4 year difference is what you're sweating?

Alright I wont worry about it.

She has one close up pic but its angled... I don't mean to be mean, but u know how some girls angle pics to look dramatically less bigger than they are? The other pic is just some super zoomed out of her on a field

She also doesnt want to give me her IG until we talk more which is fine.

I dont even swipe right unless I get a full body pic in the profile. If I cant figure out what you look like why am I even going to bother?

 

[Kyne]

I'm 23, she's 19. V. Mature for her age without being haughty and uptight.

man, this was me a couple of years ago (i was 24 and she was 20).

could not deal with the starfish aspect of it all. had to break it off after a month.

 

[TimeEffect]

man, this was me a couple of years ago (i was 24 and she was 20).

could not deal with the starfish aspect of it all. had to break it off after a month.

Starfish?

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

man, this was me a couple of years ago (i was 24 and she was 20).

could not deal with the starfish aspect of it all. had to break it off after a month.

Starfish aspect...?

 

[Kyne]

Starfish?

Starfish aspect...?

sex with an inexperienced girl who thought that the guy had to do all the work and she literally would lay out on the bed like

edit: okay this makes me sound kind of like a dick. for the record i did try to bring it up (how she needs to meet me halfway during the whole routine) but she wasn't having any of that.

 

[TimeEffect]

Nvm

 

[LucidMomentum]

sex with an inexperienced girl who thought that the guy had to do all the work and she literally would lay out on the bed like

edit: okay this makes me sound kind of like a dick. for the record i did try to bring it up (how she needs to meet me halfway during the whole routine) but she wasn't having any of that.

Yeah communication is a big part of what makes sex with someone especially awesome.

When I have to do everything it takes a lot more out of me, and also makes it seem like I'm doing something wrong.

I like it when my partner gets into it and I have to try and keep up.

 

[gaiages]

A friend of mine got both Pokémon Sun & Moon from his Ex, with a letter.

He then had to talk to her and explain to her that they broke up for a reason.

He's still playing them though.

But yeah, I wouldn't look too much into it.

Fuck, I'd do the exact same thing lol

Hell, if my ex gifted me both versions of Pokemon I'd keep one and give the other to my boyfriend

Alright I wont worry about it.

She has one close up pic but its angled... I don't mean to be mean, but u know how some girls angle pics to look dramatically less bigger than they are? The other pic is just some super zoomed out of her on a field

She also doesnt want to give me her IG until we talk more which is fine.

Yeah I'll be honest I tend to angle my shots up slightly to hide the double chin that can peak out. Then again, I had one even when I was thin-ish... stupid genetics. Thankfully it only shows when I have my face angled down, so it's an easy fix when in photos ;D

 

[vypek]

sex with an inexperienced girl who thought that the guy had to do all the work and she literally would lay out on the bed like



edit: okay this makes me sound kind of like a dick. for the record i did try to bring it up (how she needs to meet me halfway during the whole routine) but she wasn't having any of that.

Lmao. I'm dying at this. I've never heard of starfish in this kind of context. Interesting. Too bad she didn't want to meet halfway I guess

 

[TimeEffect]

sorry nvm

 

[GK86]

sorry nvm

Just be honest.

 

[TimeEffect]

Just be honest.

Yeah, will do, thanks. The hard part is explaining why

 

[GK86]

Yeah, will do, thanks. The hard part is explaining why

Meh, if she gives a shit you have dodged a bullet.

 

[Alastor3]

I don't have a question, just a statement.

to clear out my mind I guess.

In october last year, my university organised meeting with a tutor in French because my French suck (and it's my native language and im currently studying in creative writing too ahha.... anyway) so I meet my tutor who is about 22 years old but is really mature for what i could tell. We saw each other every weeks for a few hours to reviews my texts. Those hours past really fast because we had so much fun.

We had about 15 hours in total and it ended in december. Over the time, my sentiments for her grew but I didn't get the courage to tell her before leaving for christmas, for one part because i don't have confidance in myself and also because since I still got a semester and I will see her again in 2 weeks from now, I was afraid it would make thing awkward and that I will had another tutor.

The thing is, with her, it seems I can be myself, I can make faces, jokes, everything and she will always laugh.

So we part away but I couldn't wait and a week later added her on facebook, but 3 weeks have past and still pending.

So at christmas, since I was pretty happy to see familly, and also because it's my birthday too, I decided to just text her a simple Merry Christmas and told her I wrote a few more pages of my novel.

But she never reply.

I saw that as a passive/aggresive ''im not interested'' because i know she look at her cellphone and i know she went to facebook.

I never said anything that could be out of place, I know I wasn't too direct but I wasn't invasive.

Im still gonna ask for my university to have meeting with her. I don't know, maybe it's turning 28 years old that woken me but I don't want to let her go. I want to be happy and at least try one more time, this time, in face to face.

See you in a couple weeks.

 

[TimeEffect]

Meh, if she gives a shit you have dodged a bullet.

I wouldn't blame her. Just something I blame myself for if anything

 

[Kyne]

I don't have a question, just a statement.

to clear out my mind I guess.

In october last year, my university organised meeting with a tutor in French because my French suck (and it's my native language and im currently studying in creative writing too ahha.... anyway) so I meet my tutor who is about 22 years old but is really mature for what i could tell. We saw each other every weeks for a few hours to reviews my texts. Those hours past really fast because we had so much fun.

We had about 15 hours in total and it ended in december. Over the time, my sentiments for her grew but I didn't get the courage to tell her before leaving for christmas, for one part because i don't have confidance in myself and also because since I still got a semester and I will see her again in 2 weeks from now, I was afraid it would make thing awkward and that I will had another tutor.

The thing is, with her, it seems I can be myself, I can make faces, jokes, everything and she will always laugh.

So we part away but I couldn't wait and a week later added her on facebook, but 3 weeks have past and still pending.

So at christmas, since I was pretty happy to see familly, and also because it's my birthday too, I decided to just text her a simple Merry Christmas and told her I wrote a few more pages of my novel.

But she never reply.

I saw that as a passive/aggresive ''im not interested'' because i know she look at her cellphone and i know she went to facebook.

I never said anything that could be out of place, I know I wasn't too direct but I wasn't invasive.

Im still gonna ask for my university to have meeting with her. I don't know, maybe it's turning 28 years old that woken me but I don't want to let her go. I want to be happy and at least try one more time, this time, in face to face.

See you in a couple weeks.

Erm. Don't do this. You sound like a villain in a rom com.

Seriously though, she's not interested and you forcing a meeting is borderline creepy.

 

[Peltz]

How much do ex's that still have feelings for the person you're dating bother you if the person you're dating shows no interest in them.

Zero. Only worry about the stuff you can control. No use caring about stuff outside your control.

 

[Megalosaro]

Why? You'll have different interests, but that's what makes it fun. I'm dating someone eight years younger than me (I'm almost 34; she's 26), and while she doesn't get my stupid 90s kid references, that shit doesn't actually matter.

She's cute and you love talking to her. Isn't that what matters?

Sure, but I think there is a bit more to it than that. I sense that she's still at the point in her life where she's discovering who she is. I know who I am. I dunno... it feels subversive or something. She's a blast to be around and has an awesome personality and I'm definitely attracted to her, but I don't think we're on the same level maturity wise.

 

[Alastor3]

Erm. Don't do this. You sound like a villain in a rom com.

Seriously though, she's not interested and you forcing a meeting is borderline creepy.

I understand the statement, but why not just reject my friend request or reply to my text?

Also, she know we will see each other this january to continue our sessions.

 

[Oblivion]

Haven't asked a stupid question in this thread for a while, so here goes.

So me and this girl have been dating since August. Sadly we don't get a chance to see each other a lot as we live both far away and both of our parents reside in our respective houses. Still, despite that, we've texted each other every single day since we met. Sometimes I text her first, other times she does. But for the week leading up until Sunday, I was texting her first every single time. Usually, one of texts the other by like 2 PM or 3 PM at the very latest. However, by Sunday, she didn't text me back until like 8 PM. And like I said, this was after like 4 days of me texting her first.

So I kinda got annoyed with the fact that she's stopped doing that and I haven't texted her both yesterday and today. Thus far she hasn't initiated a text.

Thoughts?

 

[Llyranor]

Asking the university to have a meeting wtf

 

[GK86]

Asking the university to have a meeting wtf

How else is he suppose to prove to her that he is her one true love?

 

[LyleLanley]

I understand the statement, but why not just reject my friend request or reply to my text?

Also, she know we will see each other this january to continue our sessions.

People hate confrontation but by ignoring you she's told you everything you need to know. Don't be a creep and just move on.

 

[Lulubop]

People hate confrontation but by ignoring you she's told you everything you need to know. Don't be a creep and just move on.

this.

Im still gonna ask for my university to have meeting with her. I don't know, maybe it's turning 28 years old that woken me but I don't want to let her go

 

[diaspora]

I understand the statement, but why not just reject my friend request or reply to my text?

Also, she know we will see each other this january to continue our sessions.

Silence was your rejection.

 

[jadedm17]

Asked a girl out today.

I fucking love the ray of hope of asking a new fun person to food; She was asking me if I was single a few days ago and one of the things I had to hold onto going into the New Year was the fun of asking her out and all the possibilities of what may come after.

Hope for the best, expect the worst.

Even if nothing comes of it that's fine.

Stay positive my friends, thats what I'm trying to say.

My future plans are to work on me - mentally, physically, pay the last of my debts, etc - and let the rest fall in line.

Haven't asked a stupid question in this thread for a while, so here goes.
..

Thoughts?

My first thought is just "I hate dating in 2017", but really there's a lot that can be going on. Facetime and Skype are great tools to use. It could be a sign she's not as interested but it could just be busy too, the texting game is just a headache.

Details would help : How long have you dated? How old are you? How far? Have you met and for how long? It's hard to keep a spark for long-distance, especially when you're young (let's say under 25), so communication, trust and making the effort to spend time in person or plan an end date for when it wont be LDR.

The best course is to just communicate. Text her, ask her to skype/facetime, and in a calm rational way let your feelings be known.

sex with an inexperienced girl who thought that the guy had to do all the work and she literally would lay out on the bed like

Honesty is brutal sometimes; I don't blame you.
Everything is a balance : Give and take. Sex included.
I still can't get over my ex of ~10 years ago now because of just how intense she was in everything; We were both givers and no one has matched that fire since. (I don't really expect them too TBH.)