Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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How does one go about handling eye tag with someone you've never talked to but share a course with?

I've thought in the past that this had happened to me. Is she looking at you when you aren't (like when you turn your head and see her), or are you looking for like several seconds and she glances over?
 
"i quite enjoy my henny nom saying. so how about we sip some henny nom saying, listen to some Sinatra nom saying, and do the grown up thing nom saying"
 
I've thought in the past that this had happened to me. Is she looking at you when you aren't (like when you turn your head and see her), or are you looking for like several seconds and she glances over?

She initiated it. I'll glance over to see if she's looking and then return to taking notes or whatever it is I'm doing. I make sure it's not the creepy staring for seconds and then her looking. That just makes things awkward.
 
She initiated it. I'll glance over to see if she's looking and then return to taking notes or whatever it is I'm doing. I make sure it's not the creepy staring for seconds and then her looking. That just makes things awkward.

Well you're lucky, cause she probably likes you then! :P

Just give her a smile when you glance over some time, and then talk to her after class.
 
Quick question. When a girl asks you if what she's wearing is decent (say, at a club) and you know her, can it be seen as her looking for your approbation and thus, a show of interest? Question beeing asked when she's already with two of her friends (both girls).

A friend of mine is wondering and I believe it doesn't mean much. What do the "pros" think?
 
Quick question. When a girl asks you if what she's wearing is decent (say, at a club) and you know her, can it be seen as her looking for your approbation and thus, a show of interest? Question beeing asked when she's already with two of her friends (both girls).

A friend of mine is wondering and I believe it doesn't mean much. What do the "pros" think?

I'm inclined to say it doesn't mean much either. Definitely not worth the effort of looking into too much. It could mean something or it could just be an honest question, I think it would differ from one girl to the next.
 
Quick question. When a girl asks you if what she's wearing is decent (say, at a club) and you know her, can it be seen as her looking for your approbation and thus, a show of interest? Question beeing asked when she's already with two of her friends (both girls).

A friend of mine is wondering and I believe it doesn't mean much. What do the "pros" think?

I wouldn't think it's a show of interest at all...but I'm probably wrong.
 
I'm noticing my emotions change from sadness to anger over the relationship I just got out of, and I'm not sure how to interpret them. I'm hoping it's a sign that the initial shock/sadness is wearing off and I'm starting to realize just how disrespectful she was to end our relationship the way she did. I wrote a big rant but I decided to spare you guys the post.

I won't do it, but I would really like to just call her up and chew her the fuck out right now. I'm telling myself this is progress, but fuck, I need to go punch something.
 
it is indeed progress. Don't call her though. You are above it.

BTW I've been seeing this girl for a little bit now and I swear to god we are just like Welsh and Witt in Thin Red Line.

I'm Witt and she's Welsh haha, I swear all our conversations are like a battle.
 
I've been with my first girlfriend for six months now, and I'm noticing that when we go out, I'm eyeing other women. I'm not doing it heavily, but I'm still taking notice and am feeling the natural attraction toward other attractive women. I've never noticed myself doing this before. I am still greatly attracted toward my girlfriend, I even feel my attraction growing as we grow closer and I see her becoming more confident in the world as she and I have grown more intimate.

She's talked before about how her past boyfriends would go so far as to turn their heads to follow another lady while walking with her, and how she felt completely disrespected by it. I don't want to be doing that to my girl. I feel like I shouldn't be doing it, but when I let lose, I do it anyway. This is natural, correct? How can I keep this under control so that I don't have to stress out and freeze up whenever an attractive woman walks by.
 
I've been with my first girlfriend for six months now, and I'm noticing that when we go out, I'm eyeing other women. I'm not doing it heavily, but I'm still taking notice and am feeling the natural attraction toward other attractive women. I've never noticed myself doing this before. I am still greatly attracted toward my girlfriend, I even feel my attraction growing as we grow closer and I see her becoming more confident in the world as she and I have grown more intimate.

She's talked before about how her past boyfriends would go so far as to turn their heads to follow another lady while walking with her, and how she felt completely disrespected by it. I don't want to be doing that to my girl. I feel like I shouldn't be doing it, but when I let lose, I do it anyway. This is natural, correct? How can I keep this under control so that I don't have to stress out and freeze up whenever an attractive woman walks by.

Monogamy is a choice, and it's normal to check out other women. It's not something most guys can control, but we are thinking beings and have some discretion over our nature, so I'd be discreet about it and try to keep it toned down when around her. Like it or not, most women find it offensive.
 
So this girl who is really cute and awesome told me the following: She's never had a boyfriend, never had sex, thinks blowjobs are gross, has overly religious parents, parents control her and won't even let her change her room, doesn't use tongue cause spit is gross.

My balls have never hurt so bad in my life.

Before I knew this I asked her out to dinner and she said that wasn't a creative date and it's dumb to go to dinner.

wat. I mean I'm not a man whore or anything, but it's hard to want this after a sexual relationship.
 
So this girl who is really cute and awesome told me the following: She's never had a boyfriend, never had sex, thinks blowjobs are gross, has overly religious parents, parents control her and won't even let her change her room, doesn't use tongue cause spit is gross.

My balls have never hurt so bad in my life.

Before I knew this I asked her out to dinner and she said that wasn't a creative date and it's dumb to go to dinner.

wat. I mean I'm not a man whore or anything, but it's hard to want this after a sexual relationship.

This is your move bro. You've got to change all of that.
 
So this girl who is really cute and awesome told me the following: She's never had a boyfriend, never had sex, thinks blowjobs are gross, has overly religious parents, parents control her and won't even let her change her room, doesn't use tongue cause spit is gross.

My balls have never hurt so bad in my life.

Before I knew this I asked her out to dinner and she said that wasn't a creative date and it's dumb to go to dinner.

wat. I mean I'm not a man whore or anything, but it's hard to want this after a sexual relationship.

So you only want to have sex with her?
 
So this girl who is really cute and awesome told me the following: She's never had a boyfriend, never had sex, thinks blowjobs are gross, has overly religious parents, parents control her and won't even let her change her room, doesn't use tongue cause spit is gross.

My balls have never hurt so bad in my life.

Before I knew this I asked her out to dinner and she said that wasn't a creative date and it's dumb to go to dinner.

wat. I mean I'm not a man whore or anything, but it's hard to want this after a sexual relationship.
I got nothing more than the Christian side hug for two months before I dropped the girl I saw who was like that.

Fuck. That. Shit.

::edit::
So you only want to have sex with her?
More like so she only wants to be your platonic buddy?
 
Nah I've just never met a girl like this before. Idk how to react to it all.

Some of these people open up very quickly and "forget" their religious ways. I would at least try...

I'm noticing my emotions change from sadness to anger over the relationship I just got out of, and I'm not sure how to interpret them. I'm hoping it's a sign that the initial shock/sadness is wearing off and I'm starting to realize just how disrespectful she was to end our relationship the way she did. I wrote a big rant but I decided to spare you guys the post.

I won't do it, but I would really like to just call her up and chew her the fuck out right now. I'm telling myself this is progress, but fuck, I need to go punch something.

It IS progress. It is a lot easier to forget someone that makes you angry. I haven't been able to do that with my ex even though there is no reason I shouldn't be angry (broke up with me over facebook, started sleeping with guys after 1 week, hasn't responded to any of the "hi's" i have sent since, owes me $100, etc, etc). Just don't call her, or text her, or talk to her at all. I wish I never sent the few texts I did (One in particular was really stupid in hindsight, basically I gave a suggestion to some of the drama she was having with other guys because her friend wouldn't shut up about me having to help her because she was "out of control" or some shit.)


Do the "WOOSH!" technique.
Last time I tried people laughed at me :(
Besides I already know that I don't need this girl to be happy in life. It is just that this girl was completely responsible for who I am today and who I will be in the future and I at least want to talk to her sometime again.
 
Last time I tried people laughed at me :(
I guess you didn't see my post suggesting that you do this in private. haha...

Besides I already know that I don't need this girl to be happy in life. It is just that this girl was completely responsible for who I am today and who I will be in the future and I at least want to talk to her sometime again.
Very well.

Edit: Also, this technique can be applied to anything.

I don't really have any negative emotions or feelings of attachment at the moment so I just use it to stop myself from procrastinating.
 
She says she will never give bjs because of germs. she says that talking about feelings is dumb because people judge her. Shes afraid of going out with guys cause of what her friends think. She wont go bowling or to a movie cause its dumb.
 
She says she will never give bjs because of germs. she says that talking about feelings is dumb because people judge her. Shes afraid of going out with guys cause of what her friends think. She wont go bowling or to a movie cause its dumb.

Sounds pretty damn immature to me! I'd move on..
 
She says she will never give bjs because of germs. she says that talking about feelings is dumb because people judge her. Shes afraid of going out with guys cause of what her friends think. She wont go bowling or to a movie cause its dumb.
This is the only reaction:

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She says she will never give bjs because of germs. she says that talking about feelings is dumb because people judge her. Shes afraid of going out with guys cause of what her friends think. She wont go bowling or to a movie cause its dumb.

You want this type of negativity in your life? If she can't even embrace what she's in to (being honest with herself), you really think she's ready to start an adult relationship? And frankly, all models (male or female) come standard with oral.
 
She says she will never give bjs because of germs. she says that talking about feelings is dumb because people judge her. Shes afraid of going out with guys cause of what her friends think. She wont go bowling or to a movie cause its dumb.
This girl sounds waaaay too immature and she has A LOT of growing up she needs to do.

edit: I dunno, if I was in your situation I wouldn't even bother with her.
 
She says she will never give bjs because of germs. she says that talking about feelings is dumb because people judge her. Shes afraid of going out with guys cause of what her friends think. She wont go bowling or to a movie cause its dumb.

Tell her she needs to lighten up or join a convent.
 
This girl sounds waaaay too immature and she has A LOT of growing up she needs to do.

edit: I dunno, if I was in your situation I wouldn't even bother with her.

See it sucks cause at first I thought she was totally cool and normal, we hit it off well, but I've already been in a relationship where the girl was immature and shit and got my heart broken. The signs are telling me no cause if I continue I'll go down the same path as before.
 
See it sucks cause at first I thought she was totally cool and normal, we hit it off well, but I've already been in a relationship where the girl was immature and shit and got my heart broken. The signs are telling me no cause if I continue I'll go down the same path as before.
Yeah, don't make that same mistake again.

You're probably not going to change this girl by getting into a relationship with her. Let her do that on her own.

And there's plenty of girls out there who are much more mature and won't give you all that bullshit that you just listed in your previous post.

Also, is she in high school or a freshman in college? 'Cause I'm definitely getting that vibe.
 
See it sucks cause at first I thought she was totally cool and normal, we hit it off well, but I've already been in a relationship where the girl was immature and shit and got my heart broken. The signs are telling me no cause if I continue I'll go down the same path as before.
Is she 15? Because then her behaviour is acceptable. If she is not, then lol, what the fuck are you doing.
 
it is indeed progress. Don't call her though. You are above it.
Thanks. I'm not going to call her but I really would love to. Especially since the last phone calls we've had I think I've been way too understanding of the situation. She deserves a good verbal lashing, but you're right, I'm above it.

It IS progress. It is a lot easier to forget someone that makes you angry. I haven't been able to do that with my ex even though there is no reason I shouldn't be angry (broke up with me over facebook, started sleeping with guys after 1 week, hasn't responded to any of the "hi's" i have sent since, owes me $100, etc, etc). Just don't call her, or text her, or talk to her at all. I wish I never sent the few texts I did (One in particular was really stupid in hindsight, basically I gave a suggestion to some of the drama she was having with other guys because her friend wouldn't shut up about me having to help her because she was "out of control" or some shit.)
Yeah, I've learned my lesson about sending texts/calls in these situations before. They never work out as planned. So as much as I may want to, I know I won't.

I do agree with you about it being easier to forget someone who makes you angry. Unfortunately, I think that my anger will blow over eventually and I'll be right back to where I was. I don't know, man. My brain is a mess right now. Really I'd just prefer to go to sleep until all of this disappears. I've never felt like this before and it sucks.
 
I was hanging out in my friends place and we had some people over.

One of them was a girl I've seen around campus but we've never been introduced to each other. She came up and told me I had a beautiful smile, that really made my day.

We really hit it off too!

So later that night my friend, her and another girl went back to my dorm. On the way there she just starts holding my hand. It may sound sappy but I like that type of stuff. She said we should exchange numbers and hangout more. It's been a while since I've found a girl I'm attracted to for more than her body.

There is one problem she is in a relationship.

I think I'll go for it.
 
I was hanging out in my friends place and we had some people over.

One of them was a girl I've seen around campus but we've never been introduced to each other. She came up and told me I had a beautiful smile, that really made my day.

We really hit it off too!

So later that night my friend, her and another girl went back to my dorm. On the way there she just starts holding my hand. It may sound sappy but I like that type of stuff. She said we should exchange numbers and hangout more. It's been a while since I've found a girl I'm attracted to for more than her body.

There is one problem she is in a relationship.

I think I'll go for it.
I hope you mean you go for a one night stand with her (or multiple ones). If you go for a relationship you just know you will never trust her, because she cheated on her current BF with you, so she might cheat on you as well. :lol
 
She says she will never give bjs because of germs. she says that talking about feelings is dumb because people judge her. Shes afraid of going out with guys cause of what her friends think. She wont go bowling or to a movie cause its dumb.

Answer me this: Why do you like this girl again? It sounds to me like you don't. I know people settle sometimes, but you sound like you would not like this at all, and would be extremely unhappy. Bail out, and move on. Seriously.
 
Answer me this: Why do you like this girl again? It sounds to me like you don't. I know people settle sometimes, but you sound like you would not like this at all, and would be extremely unhappy. Bail out, and move on. Seriously.

I met her last week and she told me all of this today. That's why.
 
I hope you mean you go for a one night stand with her (or multiple ones). If you go for a relationship you just know you will never trust her, because she cheated on her current BF with you, so she might cheat on you as well. :lol

Things die and are born, feelings are no exception. I wouldn't be bothered too much.
 
Oy...

No. Please don't get with her. I'm 21 as well and she comes off as a high schooler.

There's more girls out there, man. Move on for your own sake.

I don't even know if that's correct. She doesn't want to share her feelings because she thinks "people will judge here." Are you kidding me? That sounds like something a little kid would say.

I'm guessing she's really attractive, because I don't know why someone would try to get with someone with that kind of baggage going on.
 
Yeah I know. It's unfortunate cause I was finally thinking "Woo a normal girl!" Time to keep on looking.
Just stay focused on what you want and you will find that normal girl soon.


I don't even know if that's correct. She doesn't want to share her feelings because she thinks "people will judge here." Are you kidding me? That sounds like something a little kid would say.
I guess I'm thinking back to the different cliques that were in high school and all the social pressures that came with those.
 
I guess I'm thinking back to the different cliques that were in high school and all the social pressures that came with those.

Yeah, that makes sense, but even then I don't think if you're in a relationship with somebody, I can't fathom someone from the ages around 17-20 saying something so ludicrous as that.
 
Sharing feelings with others requires more trust than you guys seem to think. Way more.
If someone judges me or condemns me for my feelings I tell them to go fuck themselves.

Also, as of right now, I don't really care what other people think of me. What matters to me is me and what I want out of life. And there are people out there who like me for who I am. Those are the people I want to gravitate to and be around because they are my support group.

If you are friends with people you can't share your feelings with then they are not your friends. They are stumbling blocks to your own personal happiness.
 
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