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[tranciful]

I use the word "dating" to describe two people who are in a exclusive/committed relationship where one another acknowledges the other as their "(gender)friend."

You've seen her for a couple of weeks? Keep on seeing her. If she talks about exclusivity and you feel you're not ready or you don't want it, stand up for yourself and be honest. Being pressured into something you don't want will only lead to resentment down the line, so it's your responsibility to say what you really feel when these discussions arise.

I wouldn't have a problem with saying no to being exclusive even if that ended it right there. Ironically, I am basically exclusive anyway -- I just don't like to juggle women. I think I'd feel guilty if I thought a relationship could become exclusive and I was seeing other women at the time (though in this case, I would end it, so maybe there's no need for the guilt)

Do you think it makes a difference if we've slept together? I guess part of my question is 'what is socially acceptable and what is crossing the line' in terms of dating and exclusivity.

 

[Dr Duncan Steel]

Next time you smile, walk up, and say "hey there" and spark up a conversation. You might be able to draw some conclusions based on how that conversation goes, but you can't draw much of anything from her not noticing you when you walk by. Hell, she might be wondering why you didn't notice her.

God I was thinking the same thing. But in all fairness everything happened so fast. What was one second to her, was probably minutes for me :/

 

[tranciful]

God I was thinking the same thing. But in all fairness everything happened so fast. What was one second to her, was probably minutes for me :/

You'll have more chances. Next time, just do it. I think you'll find that the more you push yourself like that, the more comfortable you'll get and the more positive experiences you'll have. Stuff like that has been key for me in making my social life more enjoyable.

I remember one example in particular where I saw an acquaintance at a bar as I was leaving, she was busy talking with someone so I just kept walking past her. I was almost gone when I changed my mind, walked back in, went up and said hey. She immediately stops talking to the other dude, gives me a big hug and we have a great chat. Felt stupid for passing up the first chance -- she was obviously excited to see me.

 

[soultron]

I wouldn't have a problem with saying no to being exclusive even if that ended it right there. Ironically, I am basically exclusive anyway -- I just don't like to juggle women. I think I'd feel guilty if I thought a relationship could become exclusive and I was seeing other women at the time (though in this case, I would end it, so maybe there's no need for the guilt)

Do you think it makes a difference if we've slept together? I guess part of my question is 'what is socially acceptable and what is crossing the line' in terms of dating and exclusivity.

You can sleep with as many women as you'd like if you're not in a committed relationship. You run the risk of STD/STIs, however, even when you wear a condom, so don't go fuck-crazy.

Until you've had the talk bringing up exclusivity, nothing really "crosses the line." However, different women respond differently to the unwritten implications of not being exclusive/committed with someone means that you have the option of seeing and sleeping with other women. Some operate the same way, and will be seeing and sleeping with other men. Others, like you, won't want to or don't have the energy to juggle multiple prospects. These women (the latter) usually don't like it if you bring up the fact that you're seeing other people because of their views.

Operate on whatever principles you choose to. Just know that once you're in a committed relationship, you're with one person and going outside of this definitely monogamous relationship is cheating and not cool. But this is obvious, is it not?

Hopefully this answers some of your questions. I'm still having trouble wrapping my head about what exactly you're concerned with.

 

[tranciful]

You can sleep with as many women as you'd like if you're not in a committed relationship. You run the risk of STD/STIs, however, even when you wear a condom, so don't go fuck-crazy.

Until you've had the talk bringing up exclusivity, nothing really "crosses the line." However, different women respond differently to the unwritten implications of not being exclusive/committed with someone means that you have the option of seeing and sleeping with other women. Some operate the same way, and will be seeing and sleeping with other men. Others, like you, won't want to or don't have the energy to juggle multiple prospects. These women (the latter) usually don't like it if you bring up the fact that you're seeing other people because of their views.

Operate on whatever principles you choose to. Just know that once you're in a committed relationship, you're with one person and going outside of this definitely monogamous relationship is cheating and not cool.

Hopefully this answers some of your questions. I'm still having trouble wrapping my head about what exactly you're concerned with.

Nah you've laid it out in clear terms -- thanks. I've had relationships but still consider myself new to the 'dating scene' and part of this is the fact that I'm having to define my principles. I tend to be "one girl at a time, even from the start" but I'm thinking it might make more sense to not restrict myself like that and keep my options open (seems to be more common anyway). I know things change when exclusivity has been explicitly established and would never cheat -- I just needed clarification for pre-exclusive stuff. Thanks.

 

[Miguel]

I think I've just been lucky that the girls that I've dated have always seemed to instantly have a great connection whether due to interests or just "getting" each other. Had my first set of dates where I bailed last year. It was only 3 dates in, but I think I posted about it in here. After date 2, I just wasn't feeling it but thought maybe it was just one of those things, so we went on a 3rd, and the girl was just not appealing to me mentally. She was cute, but somewhere along the line, from the first date to the 2nd date, she just became super boring.

In any case, I decided to break things off, because the girl I was with most recently and I had been talking at that point and she seemed to be into me, we had had a few convos already, and I asked her to go to a concert with me. Possibly my best first date ever. There were so many hiccups that ended up not mattering because we were having so much fun. Now that I think about it, I wrote about that date here...

First time I've reread that since the date, and more importantly since the split. Really disappointed in how things ended, but it was a fun time for about a month.

Before either of these two was this girl I had known for about 3 years, and I thought we clicked in terms of interests, personality, and intimacy, but she had in the past decided to disappear many a time, but I thought things were gonna be different when we were dating, I guess not. She disappeared, and I'm debating whether or not to text her for her birthday next week. Not a good idea to do it, but I'll make that decision the day of.

Been a weird past few months of dating, not much, but I'm looking forward to see what lies ahead. Nothing solid yet. And with Valentine's Day looming, I'm gonna scale back on the online dating side of things. I'd rather not get into anything in the next week. Different story if I'm out and about and something happens, but I don't want to get into something with someone around Valentine's day on OKC or POF. Starting to date around "gift-y" times of the year isn't too appealing to me at this point.

I think that's all I have for now, most of this will probably end up going in my next blog post.

 

[Vermillion]

Even the concept that your virginity is a stigma could subconsciously affect how you portray yourself. It might give you an air of desperation if your goal is to get rid of it. I'd say accept that there are more people that are virgins your age than you might think, and just be comfortable with it.

You don't have to tell women that you're a virgin. But it can work in your favor if they've been tested recently and are on birth control

I'm 18, and already the group I hung out with in high school has lost their virginity. Two of them room together above me. Hard not to be socially pressured, y'know?

None of them are over 18, btw. And group of five including me, so...

 

[soultron]

I'm 18, and already the group I hung out with in high school has lost their virginity. Two of them room together above me. Hard not to be socially pressured, y'know?

None of them are over 18, btw. And group of five including me, so...

Get over yourself, get over your friends, and stop worrying about it.

I was 20 when I lost mine and I don't think I worried much about it, even before I lost it.

 

[Miguel]

I'm 18, and already the group I hung out with in high school has lost their virginity. Two of them room together above me. Hard not to be socially pressured, y'know?

None of them are over 18, btw. And group of five including me, so...

Being a virgin at 18 is nothing, I was older. Many in here were older. Some in here were much younger. I'll admit I had the same mentality early, but then realized it was pointless, worrying about it wasn't going to make it happen any sooner, in fact, it likely would have had the opposite effect.

 

[BronzeWolf]

I wouldn't have a problem with saying no to being exclusive even if that ended it right there. Ironically, I am basically exclusive anyway -- I just don't like to juggle women. I think I'd feel guilty if I thought a relationship could become exclusive and I was seeing other women at the time (though in this case, I would end it, so maybe there's no need for the guilt)

Do you think it makes a difference if we've slept together? I guess part of my question is 'what is socially acceptable and what is crossing the line' in terms of dating and exclusivity.

Just because you don't have 20 girls at your doorstep and you are seeing only one, does it mean you are in an exclusive relationship. When you go on dates, your exclusiveness is not implied. It is in a LTR.

You can have sex, go out on dates but unless you formally ask her to be your girlfriend, you are not dating. Sorry. I used to make the same mistake as you and thought that "well, I am her boyfriend anyway". Not a chance pal, she will most likely resent you and dump you if you don't ask her formally.

I'm 18, and already the group I hung out with in high school has lost their virginity. Two of them room together above me. Hard not to be socially pressured, y'know?

None of them are over 18, btw. And group of five including me, so...

I would be more worried with making a girl come just by sucking her pussy, than me coming on her.

 

[Vermillion]

I would be more worried with making a girl come just by sucking her pussy, than me coming on her.

Che?

I don't understand what you mean here.

 

[BronzeWolf]

Che?

I don't understand what you mean here.

I would be more worried about how to make a woman feel right, than the actual virginity losing part

 

[Vermillion]

I would be more worried about how to make a woman feel right, than the actual virginity losing part

Oh, I'm aware. That's my intention.

 

[tranciful]

Just because you don't have 20 girls at your doorstep and you are seeing only one, does it mean you are in an exclusive relationship. When you go on dates, your exclusiveness is not implied. It is in a LTR.

You can have sex, go out on dates but unless you formally ask her to be your girlfriend, you are not dating. Sorry. I used to make the same mistake as you and thought that "well, I am her boyfriend anyway". Not a chance pal, she will most likely resent you and dump you if you don't ask her formally.

For the record, I know I'm not in an exclusive relationship -- I don't want an exclusive relationship with her and haven't been referring to her as my gf. I just haven't bothered to go on dates with other girls, thus far. I'm actually relieved to know that it's typically ok to see other people until it is explicitly exclusive -- that's basically exactly what I wanted.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

So, here's a little story about how I suck.

I'm on a plane this morning coming back from Seattle, right? And this very attractive woman sits next to me on the plane. I say hello, hi, the usual, but then decide to go to sleep.

But she is reading a book.

I'm interested in what it is, so I look at the title.

I shit you not, A Storm of Swords.

So I then proceed to talk to her about the book, and it turns out that she's a huge fantasy geek. So then we get to talking about things like SDCC, kinect, and which geek celebs are not really geeks. The usual. I just cannot believe my luck: finding a geek girl on the same plane, and she sat next to me, not the other way around.

So an hour goes by and she's not freaked out by my enthusiasm for everything at all. So the plane lands, and I introduce myself. She introduces herself.

Then I realize that I have no business cards in my wallet. None.
No way to not-slyly give her my number.

So we part ways.

Then at baggage claim, I'm buying food.
She's right behind me.
I clam up and say "see you" as I walk away to the shuttle.

What. The shit is wrong with me, GAF? Am I destined to be alone forever?

 

[tranciful]

Thought you guys may get a kick out of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzJC9OCT0ss

 

[Johnlenham]

So, here's a little story about how I suck.

I'm on a plane this morning coming back from Seattle, right? And this very attractive woman sits next to me on the plane. I say hello, hi, the usual, but then decide to go to sleep.

But she is reading a book.

I'm interested in what it is, so I look at the title.

I shit you not, A Storm of Swords.

So I then proceed to talk to her about the book, and it turns out that she's a huge fantasy geek. So then we get to talking about things like SDCC, kinect, and which geek celebs are not really geeks. The usual. I just cannot believe my luck: finding a geek girl on the same plane, and she sat next to me, not the other way around.

So an hour goes by and she's not freaked out by my enthusiasm for everything at all. So the plane lands, and I introduce myself. She introduces herself.

Then I realize that I have no business cards in my wallet. None.
No way to not-slyly give her my number.

So we part ways.

Then at baggage claim, I'm buying food.
She's right behind me.
I clam up and say "see you" as I walk away to the shuttle.

What. The shit is wrong with me, GAF? Am I destined to be alone forever?

I was going to say look her up on facebook but actually thats probably reaching abit too far. Guess you are screwed unless she happens to look you up instead.

Thought you guys may get a kick out of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzJC9OCT0ss

AHA! omg I was at a festival last summer with two female friends and one of them brought the guy she was seeing along so it was our first time "meeting" him. A few hours in the two girls go off to the loo and we are standing their chatting watching Sasha DJ when this girl next to us comes over and asks If we are brothers then asks what jobs we do! funny seeing that in the vid!

 

[Pachimari]

Edited.

 

[ErasureAcer]

So, here's a little story about how I suck.

I'm on a plane this morning coming back from Seattle, right? And this very attractive woman sits next to me on the plane. I say hello, hi, the usual, but then decide to go to sleep.

But she is reading a book.

I'm interested in what it is, so I look at the title.

I shit you not, A Storm of Swords.

So I then proceed to talk to her about the book, and it turns out that she's a huge fantasy geek. So then we get to talking about things like SDCC, kinect, and which geek celebs are not really geeks. The usual. I just cannot believe my luck: finding a geek girl on the same plane, and she sat next to me, not the other way around.

So an hour goes by and she's not freaked out by my enthusiasm for everything at all. So the plane lands, and I introduce myself. She introduces herself.

Then I realize that I have no business cards in my wallet. None.
No way to not-slyly give her my number.

So we part ways.

Then at baggage claim, I'm buying food.
She's right behind me.
I clam up and say "see you" as I walk away to the shuttle.

What. The shit is wrong with me, GAF? Am I destined to be alone forever?

You'll see her in the afterlife. Don't worry my friend.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

You'll see her in the afterlife. Don't worry my friend.

:|

 

[ErasureAcer]

:|

If you're so desperate to see her sooner you could always write a novel about your time together...ala Before Sunset. She'll read it and come to your book signing and then you'd fall in love all over again...it'd be just like the movie!!!

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

If you're so desperate to see her sooner you could always write a novel about your time together...ala Before Sunset. She'll read it and come to your book signing and then you'd fall in love all over again...it'd be just like the movie!!!

I can bottle my tears and make a fortune selling them as stimulants for petulant children on the internet.

But I become redundant.

 

[soultron]

Nothing you can do aside from using it as motivation the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, HP. She's gone, so you need to move on and learn from it.

 

[KJTB]

So, here's a little story about how I suck.

I'm on a plane this morning coming back from Seattle, right? And this very attractive woman sits next to me on the plane. I say hello, hi, the usual, but then decide to go to sleep.

But she is reading a book.

I'm interested in what it is, so I look at the title.

I shit you not, A Storm of Swords.

So I then proceed to talk to her about the book, and it turns out that she's a huge fantasy geek. So then we get to talking about things like SDCC, kinect, and which geek celebs are not really geeks. The usual. I just cannot believe my luck: finding a geek girl on the same plane, and she sat next to me, not the other way around.

So an hour goes by and she's not freaked out by my enthusiasm for everything at all. So the plane lands, and I introduce myself. She introduces herself.

Then I realize that I have no business cards in my wallet. None.
No way to not-slyly give her my number.

So we part ways.

Then at baggage claim, I'm buying food.
She's right behind me.
I clam up and say "see you" as I walk away to the shuttle.

What. The shit is wrong with me, GAF? Am I destined to be alone forever?

An "it was really nice talking to you, let's get lunch sometime?" would have probably worked just fine.

 

[Orgen]

I hate guys like you Orgen. If a girl has a bf move on, you dick.

You can hate me all you want but come on don't be so rude! ;P

I've broken a few relationships years ago, been through a lot of shit with girls (and I've done a lot harm too being an asshole) and that's why I have a set of rules with all this meeting/dating/relationship thing. And believe me when I say that pursue a girl with a boyfriend/married is a no-no in my book BUT if she's the one looking for me and inviting me over... I'm in (I'm talking about one night stands not drama relationships).

She played me very well (showing interest, flirty, touchy, sexual jokes...) and when I was ready to make my move she told me about her bf and how he didn't satisfy her. I asked her what she wanted from me then and this was her answer:

"I'll be blunt with you. Despite all my boyfriend problems I'm a very faithful person so I'm not going to cheat on him. You're a handsome guy and if I didn't have a bf we'd be in my bed by now."

I gave her my number (in case you need it I said) and said good night. Confident? Dick? Asshole? You draw the line. Even if she calls me tomorrow to pay her a visit I don't think I'm doing anything wrong here but I can understand if someone thinks the other way.

Now you can stop/keep hating me or hating me more but at least with a good reason!

Not sure I agree. If the girl is genuinely devoted, then she'd brush off Orgen's remarks without further thought and move on. Otherwise, well, can't fault a guy for trying.

As I've said she played me veeeeery well. I was convinced she wanted something from me (besides the talking thing) but when I was ready to make my move... bam! Boyfriend in da house! I didn't want to shoot the door forever so I gave her my number.

lol... since nowadays I'm going 24ish hours or more between posts in here, I may just do the song thing, since that's my general format for my blog entries whenever I do them. (I'll post some examples... but basically years ago on VH1 there used to be something called Insomniac Music Theatre, so I took that as my title, and anytime I write anything worthwhile in my blog, I will have music to accompany the post. It's fun, therapeutic, and relaxing even if the topic itself isn't.)

I do the same with my FB status (whenever I do them). Post something and then a song related to the status or something that's going on my mind. I have some free time now so I'll post some songs that can relate to some replies of this thread:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BT9NMnl1nY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63NiS3uZaTA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Erm19Kdplz4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJKfm3VcOEQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgQWp_Hlius
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO4e4nCYBEo&ob=av2e
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTMSF7f332M

Haha that was fun ;D

 

[Hypereides]

So, here's a little story about how I suck.

I'm on a plane this morning coming back from Seattle, right? And this very attractive woman sits next to me on the plane. I say hello, hi, the usual, but then decide to go to sleep.

But she is reading a book.

I'm interested in what it is, so I look at the title.

I shit you not, A Storm of Swords.

So I then proceed to talk to her about the book, and it turns out that she's a huge fantasy geek. So then we get to talking about things like SDCC, kinect, and which geek celebs are not really geeks. The usual. I just cannot believe my luck: finding a geek girl on the same plane, and she sat next to me, not the other way around.

So an hour goes by and she's not freaked out by my enthusiasm for everything at all. So the plane lands, and I introduce myself. She introduces herself.

Then I realize that I have no business cards in my wallet. None.
No way to not-slyly give her my number.

So we part ways.

Then at baggage claim, I'm buying food.
She's right behind me.
I clam up and say "see you" as I walk away to the shuttle.

What. The shit is wrong with me, GAF? Am I destined to be alone forever?

Sounds like you had a perfect opportunity for a number exchange right in front of you. She was clearly interested in seeing you again. Well that sucks. Learn from it and move on.

 

[Slayer-33]

An "it was really nice talking to you, let's get lunch sometime?" would have probably worked just fine.

It's dat bro brain freeze that happened to him.

He fudge'd it up big time though god damn son. You don't get opportunities like that often.

 

[scar tissue]

+1 for the "virgins over 18 are not uncommon" camp
It boggles my mind how many seemingly totally normal guys can't get laid.
Female virgins over 18 are very rare tho, and - in my experience - usually one or several of the following: overweight, ugly, overly picky, or made bad experiences with men.

And yeah, virginity is totally a stigma and anyone saying otherwise is a fucking liar. Women will think you're a total fucking loser (which most likely is correct, too).
Hide that shit at all costs. You can tell her after the deed.

Edit: But you should most likely not think about your virginity too much. You'll end up being desperate. I had the best chances of success (shit, I actually had girls interested in me) when I totally didn't think about it. I still managed to screw it up but that's another story.

 

[Minamu]

Putting Kingi on ignore is pretty pointless when everyone's quoting the posts xD Sorry about that, I can see you again. Your posts really reek of pointless negativity though. Stop doing that, for everyone's sake.

I'm having a bit of a high class problem at the moment. After a one night stand, the girl's best friend is extremely interested in me. I mean really interested, enough to send two friend requests and look for my number on facebook after I accepted. I get maybe 10-15 (at least) text messages from this milf (28 years old with a 6 year old daughter) per day now. It's getting a bit weird as we've only met three times (made out once) and she's already dropped the "I'm not ready for a relationship" card for no reason (I don't care nor am I interested in anything but her body basically and that's barely) and she keeps telling me she's really curious about me. I like the attention of course and we're most likely going to the same party on Friday but I'm getting sick at the moment, and part of me is glad that's happening :S Being carefree and not giving a shit about anything is really working wonders here, but I kinda don't want it to xD The amount of text messages and facebook stalking is giving a really creepy relationship/needy vibe. I'm fairly interested in hooking up a couple of times but at this point I wonder what the cost will be, you know? Any thoughts?

 

[Hypereides]

+1 for the "virgins over 18 are not uncommon" camp
It boggles my mind how many seemingly totally normal guys can't get laid.
Female virgins over 18 are very rare tho, and - in my experience - usually one or several of the following: overweight, ugly, overly picky, or made bad experiences with men.

And yeah, virginity is totally a stigma and anyone saying otherwise is a fucking liar. Women will think you're a total fucking loser (which most likely is correct, too).
Hide that shit at all costs. You can tell her after the deed.

Edit: But you should most likely not think about your virginity too much. You'll end up being desperate. I had the best chances of success (shit, I actually had girls interested in me) when I totally didn't think about it. I still managed to screw it up but that's another story.

Im actually very surprised by the amount of men that Ive met, who are above 20~25+ and either havent had sex or are reluctant to do something about it. Theres really alot of people out there that arent sexually liberated.

Its all individual though. One of my great friends has problems. Back when he was in a relationship 10 years ago and he was deeply in love with this chick that cheated on him. It completely destroyed him.

It had such a large impact, that hes extremely hesitant to approach and talk to girls since then. Its a shame really especially since hes a really good guy. Whenever he sees a girl he likes, he just crumbles.

I'm having a bit of a high class problem at the moment. After a one night stand, the girl's best friend is extremely interested in me. I mean really interested, enough to send two friend requests and look for my number on facebook after I accepted. I get maybe 10-15 (at least) text messages from this milf (28 years old with a 6 year old daughter) per day now. It's getting a bit weird as we've only met three times (made out once) and she's already dropped the "I'm not ready for a relationship" card for no reason (I don't care nor am I interested in anything but her body basically and that's barely) and she keeps telling me she's really curious about me. I like the attention of course and we're most likely going to the same party on Friday but I'm getting sick at the moment, and part of me is glad that's happening :S Being carefree and not giving a shit about anything is really working wonders here, but I kinda don't want it to xD The amount of text messages and facebook stalking is giving a really creepy relationship/needy vibe. I'm fairly interested in hooking up a couple of times but at this point I wonder what the cost will be, you know? Any thoughts?

She wants some subscription-free, tax-free, durty, no strings attached sex. The woman is in need of some lovin'. And shes set her heart on some young meat. You gotta feed the hungry ya'know.

 

[Hypereides]

Small Update on flakey girl.

Well, looks like Im back in the heat. I held out 3 weeks after her bitchy attitude (she was drunk & horny) and sent her a small text yesterday:

"Hey Flakey girl... just wanted to sent regards on your Uni. start. We should figure out something soon"

She text'd back today:

"Thank you very much! Im pretty satisfied so far by my choice.. even though I dont get the city people. (in the context that she doesnt understand city folks). But we have to absolutely meet up soon"

Roughly translated.

So I guess thats set up. Now she has to pursue me.

 

[scar tissue]

Also, I forgot to mention something. Today when I was in the lobby/waiting room of the science building for a psychology experiment I signed up for (it's a required activity for my psychology 101 course) this cute strawberry blonde haired girl sat next to me. And there were plenty of empty seats for her to sit in but nope, she sat next to me.

I didn't talk to her or anything (I kind of wish I did now, haha) but I found it kind of interesting that I was in a positive state of mind before she came into the lobby. It's almost as if my positive state of mind drew her to me.

I was in the same situation a year ago. I talked to her because otherwhise it woulda been awkward as hell, we were sitting right next to each other ("You waiting for that experiment too?").
Since it was only the two of us, I was pretty sure it was a setup and already the experiment, so we talked about that. We soon spotted the "hidden" camera and all that, was kinda funny. The experiment was basically to see how two strangers of opposing sex react to being put in a room together. Fairly certain that's what happened to you too.
Anyway, I ended up having to rate the girl and stating whether I could imagine having sex, friendship, relationship with her.
I'd give a lot to know how she rated me. Did she think I was fuckable?

Spoiler

My money is on NO. I was a nervous mess back then, and in some ways, still am.

 

[Mr.City]

Going off the last few pages, I see some posters are wallowing deep in their self pity. It's a very attractive quality.

 

[Darklord]

So, here's a little story about how I suck.

I'm on a plane this morning coming back from Seattle, right? And this very attractive woman sits next to me on the plane. I say hello, hi, the usual, but then decide to go to sleep.

But she is reading a book.

I'm interested in what it is, so I look at the title.

I shit you not, A Storm of Swords.

So I then proceed to talk to her about the book, and it turns out that she's a huge fantasy geek. So then we get to talking about things like SDCC, kinect, and which geek celebs are not really geeks. The usual. I just cannot believe my luck: finding a geek girl on the same plane, and she sat next to me, not the other way around.

So an hour goes by and she's not freaked out by my enthusiasm for everything at all. So the plane lands, and I introduce myself. She introduces herself.

Then I realize that I have no business cards in my wallet. None.
No way to not-slyly give her my number.

So we part ways.

Then at baggage claim, I'm buying food.
She's right behind me.
I clam up and say "see you" as I walk away to the shuttle.

What. The shit is wrong with me, GAF? Am I destined to be alone forever?

Slyly give her your numbers? You go "Can I get your number?" just fucking say it. Don't give a card, or dick around or over think it. Nothing sly is needed. DO IT.

 

[Minamu]

She wants some subscription-free, tax-free, durty, no strings attached sex. The woman is in need of some lovin'. And shes set her heart on some young meat. You gotta feed the hungry ya'know.

I hope that's all it is. She has basically said that to me, and that she wants to be friends only at the moment (as a start) but that's not the vibe I'm getting at all No strings is something I can provide easily. As for young meat, I dunno, I'm 27 in 7 months so she's not that much older than me.

 

[Hypereides]

I hope that's all it is. She has basically said that to me, and that she wants to be friends only at the moment (as a start) but that's not the vibe I'm getting at all No strings is something I can provide easily. As for young meat, I dunno, I'm 27 in 7 months so she's not that much older than me.

1) I know.

2) Then make it clear to her that you "dont have the time and space to get involved in a relationship at the moment. And it would only be unfair to her. But you can still keep seeing one another, and if she needs any advice about guys you'll be happy to help her."

Or something like that... after you've had sex though.

 

[Minamu]

1) I know.

2) Then make it clear to her that you "dont have the time and space to get involved in a relationship at the moment. And it would only be unfair to her. But you can still keep seeing one another, and if she needs any advice about guys you'll be happy to help her."

Or something like that... after you've had sex though.

Sounds alright She just sent me Rod Stewart's Do Ya Think I'm Sexy and Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy xD That's no accidental songs to send a guy haha.
Edit: And Kiss - Forever, wtf.

 

[Furio53]

Alright, well I've given a bit of advice on here quite a few times, now its time for me to ask for advice or just an outside look at my situation.

Met a girl online, we hit it off, exchanged emails etc. I asked for her number, we talked and set up a date, with intermittent texts in between. So we go out, signals seem to be there. She mentioned other activites we should do, there was some touching. It seemed like a decent start. So I call her on sunday trying to set up a date for this week. We had talked about going hiking etc. She texts me saying she'll call me later that day or the next (superbowl parties etc) We end up exchanging a few texts later that night, so she says she'll call me back the next day. Then nothing. So I don't call or text, I just wait and see. She calls last night and leaves a voicemail while I was out running. So I call her back and no answer, I leave a voicemail. This was only about 20 minutes or so after she called, and then again, nothing. It seems to be a pattern now, with the hot and cold, radio silence kind of thing. Sure, she is probably talking to other guys. I'm just trying to get a read on her, it's tough. Never had this much difficulty setting up a 2nd date after a good 1st date.
Only things I can think of is shes either scared (thats fine), indifferent (not fine), or just something else.

anyone have thoughts?

 

[ThisWreckage]

I hate it when you're talking to a girl and her ex boyfriend will not leave her alone. It's frustrating. I know he's feeding her a bunch of bullshit too.

 

[Hypereides]

Sounds alright She just sent me Rod Stewart's Do Ya Think I'm Sexy and Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy xD That's no accidental songs to send a guy haha.
Edit: And Kiss - Forever, wtf.

Oh my. Well, well, well..... me think its about time you make this private and make some magic.

Youve practically already dipped your penis half way.

All you have to do, is just be naturally casual through the evening, then isolate her, and kiss her.

 

[Minamu]

Oh my. Well, well, well..... me think its about time you make this private and make some magic.

Youve practically already dipped your penis half way.

All you have to do, is just be naturally casual through the evening, then isolate her, and kiss her.

Could be. I played a sex joke that didn't go so well just now. She recoiled fairly heavy but it seems to be on again a few seconds later xD She's gonna jump me on Friday if I go out, she basically said it out loud. Yet, I'm not that excited about it at all xD

Edit: Unfortunately she made the comparison that she'd rather buy a subscription than buy separate issues of a magazine these days, so it's pretty clear we are looking for two very different things (although it sure hasn't seemed that way irl).

 

[Roger Danish]

I feel like shit and that I am the most evil person in the world if I tell her we are done. I'm partly scared if she will talk bad about me to the whole family, because my first ex invented stuff about me and still do.

Maybe if you start dating women outside your family tree, this wouldn't be as much of a problem.

 

[BronzeWolf]

Alright, well I've given a bit of advice on here quite a few times, now its time for me to ask for advice or just an outside look at my situation.

Met a girl online, we hit it off, exchanged emails etc. I asked for her number, we talked and set up a date, with intermittent texts in between. So we go out, signals seem to be there. She mentioned other activites we should do, there was some touching. It seemed like a decent start. So I call her on sunday trying to set up a date for this week. We had talked about going hiking etc. She texts me saying she'll call me later that day or the next (superbowl parties etc) We end up exchanging a few texts later that night, so she says she'll call me back the next day. Then nothing. So I don't call or text, I just wait and see. She calls last night and leaves a voicemail while I was out running. So I call her back and no answer, I leave a voicemail. This was only about 20 minutes or so after she called, and then again, nothing. It seems to be a pattern now, with the hot and cold, radio silence kind of thing. Sure, she is probably talking to other guys. I'm just trying to get a read on her, it's tough. Never had this much difficulty setting up a 2nd date after a good 1st date.
Only things I can think of is shes either scared (thats fine), indifferent (not fine), or just something else.

anyone have thoughts?

She is not very interested from the sound of it. Have you called her out on that behavior?

Small Update on flakey girl.

Well, looks like Im back in the heat. I held out 3 weeks after her bitchy attitude (she was drunk & horny) and sent her a small text yesterday:

"Hey Flakey girl... just wanted to sent regards on your Uni. start. We should figure out something soon"

She text'd back today:

"Thank you very much! Im pretty satisfied so far by my choice.. even though I dont get the city people. (in the context that she doesnt understand city folks). But we have to absolutely meet up soon"

Roughly translated.

So I guess thats set up. Now she has to pursue me.

Why did you contact her first?

I hate it when you're talking to a girl and her ex boyfriend will not leave her alone. It's frustrating. I know he's feeding her a bunch of bullshit too.

Happening to me right now. Your girlfriend must draw the fucking line somewhere, she must know that she can fuck up her current relationship by heeding her ex more than it's absolutely necessary

 

[Hypereides]

Why did you contact her first?

Yeah. I realise it wasnt that bright. But it should cement a seed of interest. I wont write back to her till she does. Im off on radio silence now. Its her turn to invest into this.

But relax. We're past the kissing and sexual touching part.

Besides 3 weeks ago she was the last to reply, so I can allow myself to text after such a long time.

The previous encounter is somewhere in this thread.

 

[Furio53]

She is not very interested from the sound of it. Have you called her out on that behavior?

I was thinking about it. Yeah I've thought the same, but at times, she does seem interested. Not sure how exactly to call her out beyond being a tough read

 

[BronzeWolf]

I was thinking about it. Yeah I've thought the same, but at times, she does seem interested. Not sure how exactly to call her out beyond being a tough read

"So we were going on a date right? did the alligator eat you?"

Gauge her answer

Yeah. I realise it wasnt that bright. But it should cement a seed of interest. I wont write back to her till she does. Im off on radio silence now. Its her turn to invest into this.

But relax. We're past the kissing and sexual touching part.

Besides 3 weeks ago she was the last to reply, so I can allow myself to text after such a long time.

The previous encounter is somewhere in this thread.

"look I am writing you to let you know that I really don't want or need you. call me"
That's what you did

 

[Hypereides]

@Bronzewolf

Most recent developements:

Part 1

Part 2

Theres more, but this is the most important.

"look I am writing you to let you know that I really don't want or need you. call me"
That's what you did

....and THAT is exactly what I want her to think. If you knew this girl, you'd understand. She aint the typical emotional type.

This girl is proving to be a challenge. And well, Im going to give it a hardass try to tame her. Im enjoying this ride, my friend.
But thanks for the analysis. I will definitely hit you up in the thread, if I have questions.

 

[dskillzhtown]

I hate it when you're talking to a girl and her ex boyfriend will not leave her alone. It's frustrating. I know he's feeding her a bunch of bullshit too.

Takes two to tango. If she is actively talking to him or responding to his attempts to speak, they are destined to get back together and you are just a rental while her car is in the shop.

Find out what the deal is or find another girl who isn't still talking to her ex.

 

[TurboLibre]

+1 for the "virgins over 18 are not uncommon" camp
It boggles my mind how many seemingly totally normal guys can't get laid.
Female virgins over 18 are very rare tho, and - in my experience - usually one or several of the following: overweight, ugly, overly picky, or made bad experiences with men.

And yeah, virginity is totally a stigma and anyone saying otherwise is a fucking liar. Women will think you're a total fucking loser (which most likely is correct, too).
Hide that shit at all costs. You can tell her after the deed.

Seemingly normal? Stop that. You are normal, you just haven't lucked out yet. I know a lot of people out there like to pretend you need to be a morbidly obese basement dweller with zero social skills to be an older virgin, but that's a bunch of bullshit. And it's only a stigma if you make it one. I don't know a single person that has thought less of me for being a virgin. In fact, most of them are floored when they find out. I can't count how many times someone has gone on about how I'm this "amazing, attractive, funny" guy and they have no clue how I've managed to stay single. My point is, stop stressing over it, you're not damaged goods because you haven't met anyone yet and nobody worth your time is going to think that.

 

[BronzeWolf]

@Bronzewolf

Most recent developements:

Part 1

Part 2

Theres more, but this is the most important.



....and THAT is exactly what I want her to think. If you knew this girl, you'd understand. She aint the typical emotional type.

This girl is proving to be a challenge. And well, Im going to give it a hardass try to tame her. Im enjoying this ride, my friend.
But thanks for the analysis. I will definitely hit you up in the thread, if I have questions.

I Read your posts. You are deluding yourself. This girl has you grabbed by the balls so hard it's sad that you try to make it come off as if she didn't. Soultron gave me shit because I endured a flakey girl for two weeks. And he was right. But you have been texting this girl for three months already? And she never ever consummates? Are you fucking ball-less

You keep talking about sending her messages with you apologizing ("but not really" keep telling you that! you are not fooling ME)

My recommendation? Stop lying to yourself about this bitch and stop lying to me about how "that's what you want her to think" as if you wouldn't jump through the window the moment this girl responds positively.

And for the love of fucking God in the ass. You are 27, why are you getting all worked up with a 19 year old teenager?