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[Izick]

thanks Izick. Biggest thing I have learned from this, never trick yourself into thinking you will know someone forever....

I know, it's likely that it will happen one day, especially to someone that sounds as nice as you, but let's be honest here, if she was a big enough jerk to not even wish you happy birthday, broken up or not, that's low. And it's not like it would have been awkward for her to do it (like it would have been out of the blue or something), since you were both at least talking to each other at the time. Just not cool. She probably wasn't the right one, man. Just have to move on!

Hang in there! :O

 

[hawkshockey11]

I know, it's likely that it will happen one day, especially to someone that sounds as nice as you, but let's be honest here, if she was a big enough jerk to not even wish you happy birthday, broken up or not, that's low. And it's not like it would have been awkward for her to do it (like it would have been out of the blue or something), since you were both at least talking to each other at the time. Just not cool. She probably wasn't the right one, man. Just have to move on!

Hang in there! :O

We weren't talking though. I have tried maybe 4 times in 3 months to get a response and still nothing.

And I knew she wasn't going to be the "one." I am 19. We became friends in high school senior year and dated until January this year. I knew nothing about sex, or relationships, or even just basic girl knowledge. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did. I just want to be friends in the most platonic sense. I have no idea what I did to deserve this treatment and I have no idea why it matters to me so much. I need to get wasted...

Obligatory

birthday comic

I posted that on my facebook this morning. I got one like... from my cousin...

 

[hawkshockey11]

Alright it is settled. When she gets back from college this summer, I am going to go into fucking bridge-burning mode and get my money back. I have some shit bottled that can make that bitch cry.

 

[Atramental]

Cool your jets for a second, man. Let me ask you some questions.

How much money does she owe you?

And what the hell did she do (besides break up with you) that makes you want to "make that bitch cry"?

 

[AdventureRacing]

Alright it is settled. When she gets back from college this summer, I am going to go into fucking bridge-burning mode and get my money back. I have some shit bottled that can make that bitch cry.

I have some stuff i could say to my ex that would make her cry for sure, i could probably ruin her life if i wanted to. What exactly is there to gain from this though? It doesn't matter if she treated me really badly there is simply nothing to gain from acting that way. It will just bring you down to their level and make you look bad.

Outside of the initial satisfaction it will end up making you feel worse. If you really want to get over her and move on you should continue to just live your own life and just forget about her.

 

[Atramental]

I have some stuff i could say to my ex that would make her cry for sure, i could probably ruin her life if i wanted to. What exactly is there to gain from this though? It doesn't matter if she treated me really badly there is simply nothing to gain from acting that way. It will just bring you down to their level and make you look bad.

Outside of the initial satisfaction it will end up making you feel worse. If you really want to get over her and move on you should continue to just live your own life and just forget about her.

Agreed.

Let the past remain in the past and keep on moving forward.

 

[Fularu]

Alright it is settled. When she gets back from college this summer, I am going to go into fucking bridge-burning mode and get my money back. I have some shit bottled that can make that bitch cry.

Terrible idea

Just move on, like she did.

 

[hawkshockey11]

Cool your jets for a second, man. Let me ask you some questions.

How much money does she owe you?

And what the hell did she do (besides break up with you) that makes you want to "make that bitch cry"?

$100, it's a lot to a poor college kid like me.

And honestly nothing besides being the worst dumper ever and owing me money.

Before you tell me to not do that to her, I am all talk. I am venting. I never would be able to do that if I got the chance. Hell, I would probably see her and all the anger would melt away and I would just leave.

I have been trying to keep her in a good light in my mind for months now and it just isn't working since I keep thinking "she is a good person, she will finally say something back one day" and I keep getting myself into these cycles of waiting for nothing because I am just too nice to her in my mind. Then these days come that I have been waiting for and I get depressed when nothing happens. This is the first time I am angry towards her and it feels good. It feels good to make her the villain in all this. It is easier to forget something you hate, rather than something you respect and think highly of.

On an unrelated side note- I thought of a brilliant noir short story idea. Always wanted to write one but never could think of a decent plot until now.

 

[Atramental]

Don't keep her in a good or bad light. Let her fade away into the darkness.

She is irrelevant and you need to become much more carefree. Your future can only get better once you've let go of your feelings for this girl.

I would say more but I have to get a project done for tomorrow.

Later.

 

[hawkshockey11]

Don't keep her in a good or bad light. Let her fade away into the darkness.

She is irrelevant and you need to become much more carefree. Your future can only get better once you've let go of your feelings for this girl.

I would say more but I have to get a project done for tomorrow.

Later.

Yeah man it has just been hard. I do fine for days at a time and actually do forget her and then I have fucking days like this that make me scared that this shit will never end.

 

[Fularu]

Yeah man it has just been hard. I do fine for days at a time and actually do forget her and then I have fucking days like this that make me scared that this shit will never end.

It will (end). But you can make it happen faster by striving to make it end (as in, going out, meeting people and leaving her behind)

 

[Hylian7]

I've decided if I don't hear from this girl by the end of next week, I'm chalking it up as a loss and moving on.

 

[Almond]

Both, but particularly to the former. The younger a girl is the pickier she is about a guy's appearance (and I don't think many would argue that); but a girl's self-esteem is related to how pretty she feels, and she feels pretty based on the reactions of others. As others said, it's the reason why a lot of girls just don't believe others when they're told they look just fine.

Also, if you're that darned insecure about yourself, PM me a picture and I'll tell you whether or not you need to just shut up about your insecurities. ;p

No thanks. I've had enough people tell me by looking at my picture I look pretty average, a couple that said a little more. I take "average" as I'm nothing special to look at, plus I feel their opinions would change for the worse if they saw me in person. Thanks for the response though.

 

[hawkshockey11]

It will (end). But you can make it happen faster by striving to make it end (as in, going out, meeting people and leaving her behind)

I have been, I have met a lot of girls. Some I am very attracted to. Have had sex with many. Still have these days though...

 

[luckyboyceo]

Yeah man it has just been hard. I do fine for days at a time and actually do forget her and then I have fucking days like this that make me scared that this shit will never end.

That's pretty much how I've been feeling lately with the relationship I got out of. I felt great yesterday, was a total mess today. As much as it sucks, I'm chalking it up as part of the process.

Regardless, if it makes you feel better, know that I'm currently having a beer with you in mind. Happy birthday, man. I'll wish that you get over your situation as fast as possible... and get your money back.

 

[TheSchwab_7]

So the girl that I've been talking about on here lately showed up at my dorm with her friend after she texted me and I basically texted her that I only wanted to be friends. I was willing to just be friends cause you can always have a new friend! I was watching Terminator 2, and she knocks on the door saying she wants to talk, so I ask what do you want to talk about and she's like us. (known this girl since last Thursday).

So she starts talking about how she doesn't understand why I don't want to be with her. Basically because of several things: She's never dated a guy, she's a virgin, controlling parents, thinks talking about feelings are dumb, cares too much about what her friends think of her, and a bunch of other things that just turned me off after she revealed them. I've dated girls with similar characteristics in the past, and it turned out terrible.

I tell her this, and she then says that I don't have to act all high and mighty cause I've dated girls before. I facepalm. She then attacks me for saying that I would have sex with a girl after only knowing her for a few days. She then explains to me that any girl who has sex after such a short period amount of time is a whore, and she is also right cause her friends agree with her. I then explain to her that there's nothing wrong with sex because it's a natural thing that two people do when they have that feeling. Sex is sex. It's not something forbidden.

So she keeps on telling me stuff, and I try my best to listen and understand, but then I realized she's never had sex or a boyfriend, so of course nothing I'm saying to her makes sense. I basically tell her: I want sex (she's a virgin and I don't want that either), I want blowjobs, making out with tongue, but mostly a girl who has had experience dating/relationships. For me, these two things help figure out what you like in a significant other and what you don't like. I don't want to be with a girl who doesn't know what she wants. She may not know what she wants, and I don't want to get my heart broken by making the same mistakes I did in my past relationship.

Then she made me feel kinda crappy cause she made me seem like a man-whore for wanting these things, but I'm also proud of myself for realizing what I want and not making a mistake I would have made in the past.

 

[butimnotarapper]

So the girl that I've been talking about on here lately showed up at my dorm with her friend after she texted me and I basically texted her that I only wanted to be friends. I was willing to just be friends cause you can always have a new friend! I was watching Terminator 2, and she knocks on the door saying she wants to talk, so I ask what do you want to talk about and she's like us. (known this girl since last Thursday).

So she starts talking about how she doesn't understand why I don't want to be with her. Basically because of several things: She's never dated a guy, she's a virgin, controlling parents, thinks talking about feelings are dumb, cares too much about what her friends think of her, and a bunch of other things that just turned me off after she revealed them. I've dated girls with similar characteristics in the past, and it turned out terrible.

I tell her this, and she then says that I don't have to act all high and mighty cause I've dated girls before. I facepalm. She then attacks me for saying that I would have sex with a girl after only knowing her for a few days. She then explains to me that any girl who has sex after such a short period amount of time is a whore, and she is also right cause her friends agree with her. I then explain to her that there's nothing wrong with sex because it's a natural thing that two people do when they have that feeling. Sex is sex. It's not something forbidden.

So she keeps on telling me stuff, and I try my best to listen and understand, but then I realized she's never had sex or a boyfriend, so of course nothing I'm saying to her makes sense. I basically tell her: I want sex (she's a virgin and I don't want that either), I want blowjobs, making out with tongue, but mostly a girl who has had experience dating/relationships. For me, these two things help figure out what you like in a significant other and what you don't like. I don't want to be with a girl who doesn't know what she wants. She may not know what she wants, and I don't want to get my heart broken by making the same mistakes I did in my past relationship.

Then she made me feel kinda crappy cause she made me seem like a man-whore for wanting these things, but I'm also proud of myself for realizing what I want and not making a mistake I would have made in the past.

I don't have much input but this part made me lol

 

[HarryHengst]

So the girl that I've been talking about on here lately showed up at my dorm with her friend after she texted me and I basically texted her that I only wanted to be friends. I was willing to just be friends cause you can always have a new friend! I was watching Terminator 2, and she knocks on the door saying she wants to talk, so I ask what do you want to talk about and she's like us. (known this girl since last Thursday).

So she starts talking about how she doesn't understand why I don't want to be with her. Basically because of several things: She's never dated a guy, she's a virgin, controlling parents, thinks talking about feelings are dumb, cares too much about what her friends think of her, and a bunch of other things that just turned me off after she revealed them. I've dated girls with similar characteristics in the past, and it turned out terrible.

I tell her this, and she then says that I don't have to act all high and mighty cause I've dated girls before. I facepalm. She then attacks me for saying that I would have sex with a girl after only knowing her for a few days. She then explains to me that any girl who has sex after such a short period amount of time is a whore, and she is also right cause her friends agree with her. I then explain to her that there's nothing wrong with sex because it's a natural thing that two people do when they have that feeling. Sex is sex. It's not something forbidden.

So she keeps on telling me stuff, and I try my best to listen and understand, but then I realized she's never had sex or a boyfriend, so of course nothing I'm saying to her makes sense. I basically tell her: I want sex (she's a virgin and I don't want that either), I want blowjobs, making out with tongue, but mostly a girl who has had experience dating/relationships. For me, these two things help figure out what you like in a significant other and what you don't like. I don't want to be with a girl who doesn't know what she wants. She may not know what she wants, and I don't want to get my heart broken by making the same mistakes I did in my past relationship.

Then she made me feel kinda crappy cause she made me seem like a man-whore for wanting these things, but I'm also proud of myself for realizing what I want and not making a mistake I would have made in the past.

And this, my dear friends, is called dodging a bullet.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

So the girl that I've been talking about on here lately showed up at my dorm with her friend after she texted me and I basically texted her that I only wanted to be friends. I was willing to just be friends cause you can always have a new friend! I was watching Terminator 2, and she knocks on the door saying she wants to talk, so I ask what do you want to talk about and she's like us. (known this girl since last Thursday).

So she starts talking about how she doesn't understand why I don't want to be with her. Basically because of several things: She's never dated a guy, she's a virgin, controlling parents, thinks talking about feelings are dumb, cares too much about what her friends think of her, and a bunch of other things that just turned me off after she revealed them. I've dated girls with similar characteristics in the past, and it turned out terrible.

I tell her this, and she then says that I don't have to act all high and mighty cause I've dated girls before. I facepalm. She then attacks me for saying that I would have sex with a girl after only knowing her for a few days. She then explains to me that any girl who has sex after such a short period amount of time is a whore, and she is also right cause her friends agree with her. I then explain to her that there's nothing wrong with sex because it's a natural thing that two people do when they have that feeling. Sex is sex. It's not something forbidden.

So she keeps on telling me stuff, and I try my best to listen and understand, but then I realized she's never had sex or a boyfriend, so of course nothing I'm saying to her makes sense. I basically tell her: I want sex (she's a virgin and I don't want that either), I want blowjobs, making out with tongue, but mostly a girl who has had experience dating/relationships. For me, these two things help figure out what you like in a significant other and what you don't like. I don't want to be with a girl who doesn't know what she wants. She may not know what she wants, and I don't want to get my heart broken by making the same mistakes I did in my past relationship.

Then she made me feel kinda crappy cause she made me seem like a man-whore for wanting these things, but I'm also proud of myself for realizing what I want and not making a mistake I would have made in the past.

You're not a man-whore. You two are just on very different wave-lengths. Plus, she seems sorta... haughty?

I do hope you used some tact though. Unless she was being a total bitch, then you can throw tact out the window. She also seems pretty immature (hahaha, she's right cause her friends agree with her).

Tell her to date someone from her pool of friends in that case.

 

[Zerokku]

I'm just frustrated with myself in the dating scene. I find it so difficult to put myself out there anymore, and I sure as hell wasn’t the same way in high school. I mean rejection scared me to death, and still does, but at least I put myself out on a limb back then. Now? I don’t let people get too close. The big problem is that in my best relationship, the first one where I can honestly and truly say I loved someone, I was cheated on. I’m not one to do really let people in emotionally that easily in the first place, so having a relationship not only end, but end in such a manner (with her cheating on me with a friend of mine much less), did a number on me. It was a year-to-year and a half, which was easily my longest relationship.

Its not like I don't have any self confidence, I carry myself well and am a relatively confident person in most things, but whenever a relationship has any chance of moving beyond just a basic friendship, I kind of turtle up emotionally, and lose that self confidence.

I know I'm the issue here, and I know its fucking pathetic to let something like that still be affecting me several years later but... I don't know.

Any advice?

 

[Darren870]

Story:

A couple months back I meet a girl who runs in the same social circles as I do. We talked it up, I figured out she lives an hour away and is a nurse so has a really crazy work schedule so didn't really press it. We've been talking on and off for that time and I haven't really had the inclination to push it forward.

Jump to this weekend. I'm passed out at 2 am and I get five phone calls from her along with a text basically saying I need a designated driver and could I come pick her up. Keep in mind I've hung out with this girl once and that was in a group of people. So today she asked me why I haven't been talking to her as much this week and I told her that I was freaked out by that.

GAF am I in the wrong here? I feel like five missed calls and a text at 2 am when I barely know a person is a bit much. It's sad but I think if I liked her more I wouldn't have minded as much.

Just wanted to use you as a free ride. You were probably on her mind at the time so thats why she called out. Probably would have led to a drunk make out session....

 

[Devolution]

So the girl that I've been talking about on here lately showed up at my dorm with her friend after she texted me and I basically texted her that I only wanted to be friends. I was willing to just be friends cause you can always have a new friend! I was watching Terminator 2, and she knocks on the door saying she wants to talk, so I ask what do you want to talk about and she's like us. (known this girl since last Thursday).

So she starts talking about how she doesn't understand why I don't want to be with her. Basically because of several things: She's never dated a guy, she's a virgin, controlling parents, thinks talking about feelings are dumb, cares too much about what her friends think of her, and a bunch of other things that just turned me off after she revealed them. I've dated girls with similar characteristics in the past, and it turned out terrible.

I tell her this, and she then says that I don't have to act all high and mighty cause I've dated girls before. I facepalm. She then attacks me for saying that I would have sex with a girl after only knowing her for a few days. She then explains to me that any girl who has sex after such a short period amount of time is a whore, and she is also right cause her friends agree with her. I then explain to her that there's nothing wrong with sex because it's a natural thing that two people do when they have that feeling. Sex is sex. It's not something forbidden.

So she keeps on telling me stuff, and I try my best to listen and understand, but then I realized she's never had sex or a boyfriend, so of course nothing I'm saying to her makes sense. I basically tell her: I want sex (she's a virgin and I don't want that either), I want blowjobs, making out with tongue, but mostly a girl who has had experience dating/relationships. For me, these two things help figure out what you like in a significant other and what you don't like. I don't want to be with a girl who doesn't know what she wants. She may not know what she wants, and I don't want to get my heart broken by making the same mistakes I did in my past relationship.

Then she made me feel kinda crappy cause she made me seem like a man-whore for wanting these things, but I'm also proud of myself for realizing what I want and not making a mistake I would have made in the past.

Hey dude. She sucks why feel crappy?

 

[tearsofash]

Been conflicted lately. I want a girlfriend, like instinctually. All of a sudden. However, my brain is also telling to not care about getting one.

I still hit up grindr and OKC to chat up folks, but little else. Having a hard time meeting people on grindr, it's all dudes wanting to know how big my junk is.

 

[AdventureRacing]

Been conflicted lately. I want a girlfriend, like instinctually. All of a sudden. However, my brain is also telling to not care about getting one.

I still hit up grindr and OKC to chat up folks, but little else. Having a hard time meeting people on grindr, it's all dudes wanting to know how big my junk is.

I'm sort of in the same position. I do want to have a girlfriend but it isn't really a priority and my current situation makes it difficult. I think i'll probably stay single for at least the next year just working on myself (by which time my living and working arrangements also won't be a problem).

If i happen to meet someone in the mean time great, if not i can wait.

 

[SpectreFire]

Been conflicted lately. I want a girlfriend, like instinctually. All of a sudden. However, my brain is also telling to not care about getting one.

I still hit up grindr and OKC to chat up folks, but little else. Having a hard time meeting people on grindr, it's all dudes wanting to know how big my junk is.

Uh... grindr is a gay/bi dating app for men.

 

[OrangeGrayBlue]

I despise texting.

edit- more specifically, I despise texting etiquette. How often should I text? Is it ok always being the one to initiate conversation? How flirtacious should my texts be, in general? Or should they not be flirtacious because it just comes across corny? Should I just call at times, or could that be awkward too early into the dating process?


I miss the days where you either made a phone call or didn't talk.

 

[AdventureRacing]

I despise texting.

I feel you there. It's one of the big reasons my last relationship went to shit (she loves to text and you just come off as different people). I try to minimise texting as much as possible.

 

[HarryHengst]

Hey dude. She sucks why feel crappy?

he feels crappy because she doesnt suck.

 

[Chinner]

Uh... grindr is a gay/bi dating app for men.

lol. this is like a bad sitcom.

 

[mcrae]

Uh... grindr is a gay/bi dating app for men.

i had never heard of it so just glazed over it in his post....


ROFL......

so this weekend im going to visit and party with my younger sister. I've had a pseudo-relationship going on with her roomate since last time i went to do this, about 1.5 months ago. it never really progressed because she lives 45 minutes away, and didnt see her that often. plus, she wants to be official boyfriend/girlfriend before anything sexual happens, and i think thats stupid because what if it is really bad? but i digress...

since we're going to be living about 4 hours away from each other for the next 4 months, and then 1.5 hours away from each other for the 4 months after that, i'm no longer interested in even seeing if a relationship could be in the works. she doesnt really realize this yet, though i have cooled the frequency of chatting off in the two weeks since i've seen her. basically i want to go attend this party my sister/her friends are having (im friendly with ~4 of them, and know another~5, which is basically the entire group heading out) without feeling any boyfriendy-obligations towards this girl. and shit if i get wasted im definitely going to be hitting on people at the bar possibly in front of her... shouldve had the self control to hold back when we first started smiling at each other from across the room 6 weeks ago, lol.

 

[Redux]

I despise texting.

edit- more specifically, I despise texting etiquette. How often should I text? Is it ok always being the one to initiate conversation? How flirtacious should my texts be, in general? Or should they not be flirtacious because it just comes across corny? Should I just call at times, or could that be awkward too early into the dating process?


I miss the days where you either made a phone call or didn't talk.

My girlfriend and I text 3-4 times a day, but they're paragraph like. This may sound weird but she's a good texter. What I mean by this is, she'll respond back with something witty not just the usual "lol" like some of my friends. And it's usually always something over what we talked about (good memory she has) and makes me chuckle.

 

[Shanks]

I didn't want to create a new topic but I wanted some advice. I've been with this girl for about three years now and she recently moved about 5 hours away for a job that lasts until November when she is heading back. I feel like she has been becoming more as more distant, to the point now that we talk once every couple days for maybe around a half hour or so. If i text her, i generally hear nothig back for hours. When I tell her it's frustrating not being able to talk, she just tells me she is busy. I'm being insecure though because she talks to some guy she works with (who she says is gay) throughout the day and sometimes late at night. Am I just being a needy weirdo? This long distance shit is difficult and I just feel like unimportant. Anybody go through anything like this or have any advice?

 

[jaxword]

I'm being insecure though because she talks to some guy she works with (who she says is gay) throughout the day and sometimes late at night.

Yeah, no he's not.

Somewhere along the line you stopped talking and this guy's picking up the slack and giving her the attention she craves.

Best fix this asap.

 

[HarryHengst]

I didn't want to create a new topic but I wanted some advice. I've been with this girl for about three years now and she recently moved about 5 hours away for a job that lasts until November when she is heading back. I feel like she has been becoming more as more distant, to the point now that we talk once every couple days for maybe around a half hour or so. If i text her, i generally hear nothig back for hours. When I tell her it's frustrating not being able to talk, she just tells me she is busy. I'm being insecure though because she talks to some guy she works with (who she says is gay) throughout the day and sometimes late at night. Am I just being a needy weirdo? This long distance shit is difficult and I just feel like unimportant. Anybody go through anything like this or have any advice?

She has to understand that a relationship, especially a long distance one, needs a lot of effort and time from both sides to work. It seems she either does not realize that you need more attention and she needs to put in more effort, or she really is starting to withdraw from you. The only thing you can do is, the next time you see her in person (preferably, unless it will take months before you see her again), to talk about this. If she is incapable or unwilling to give the relationship the attention that is needed, im afraid you are looking at something that is coming to an end.

About the gay dude, if she says he is gay, you should trust her. If you cant trust her about that, you might as well end it right now.

 

[shanshan310]

Long distance can be tough. Really for me the biggest problem was talking TOO much. When we talked every couple of days we'd find more to say, but if we talked everyday we just got depressed about missing each other. Its easy to feel like you're not involved in her life anymore. I tried to remedy this by sending him letters and little "gifts" (I was in Japan so usually it was candy or memorabilia stuff), as well as varying our skype dates. We played games together, we even, though I'm kind of embarrassed to say it, got naked and stuff on cam. On some level you need to give her space, especially if she's busy with work. But on another level she definitely needs to be giving you the time you deserve. If you can, I'd try and organise to visit her for a weekend or something. I think you really need some time to talk it through together, and make sure you're both on the same level with this. Online would be fine for this too, but in person is better if you can afford it.

When I was just a long-distance relationship fledgling my upperclassman (who had been doing it for over a year) told me you need only two things to succeed. Trust, and "big love".

 

[jdogmoney]

Someone I care deeply for is in a relationship that she's expressed dissatisfaction with. Should I intimate that I'm interested, or just leave it be and be supportive?

 

[AdventureRacing]

Someone I care deeply for is in a relationship that she's expressed dissatisfaction with. Should I intimate that I'm interested, or just leave it be and be supportive?

Well it depends on things like how serious their relationship is and how long they have been together not to mention the reasons for the dissatisfaction. In general i'm against that sort of thing but if they're likely to break up anyway and you really like her than i guess it's ok.

I would tread very carefully though as it could easily backfire.

 

[shanshan310]

Someone I care deeply for is in a relationship that she's expressed dissatisfaction with. Should I intimate that I'm interested, or just leave it be and be supportive?

I'd be careful. She might be turning to you as a friend, and pressing her when she's upset about the relationship may make her even more confused. If it really looks inevitably headed for the rocks, just wait it out a bit. Like AdventureRacing said, it really depends on how involved their relationship is, what kind of dissatisfaction it is.

 

[hawkshockey11]

That's pretty much how I've been feeling lately with the relationship I got out of. I felt great yesterday, was a total mess today. As much as it sucks, I'm chalking it up as part of the process.

Regardless, if it makes you feel better, know that I'm currently having a beer with you in mind. Happy birthday, man. I'll wish that you get over your situation as fast as possible... and get your money back.

Thanks man. Yours is a newer wound then mine though. You are doing great considering that. Much better than my first month anyways.... Don't even ask.

 

[Izick]

We weren't talking though. I have tried maybe 4 times in 3 months to get a response and still nothing.

And I knew she wasn't going to be the "one." I am 19. We became friends in high school senior year and dated until January this year. I knew nothing about sex, or relationships, or even just basic girl knowledge. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did. I just want to be friends in the most platonic sense. I have no idea what I did to deserve this treatment and I have no idea why it matters to me so much. I need to get wasted...

Wait, I thought that you told her that her email was sending out spam and stuff? I know it's not like "talking" talking, but you were both still in contact. I'm just saying it wouldn't of been hard to just throw in a happy birthday somewhere in there to you.

To me, it sounds like she's pissed that she lost you, because there's no reason someone would be so cold to someone else, especially if the other person wants to be friends still.

 

[jaxword]

Someone I care deeply for is in a relationship that she's expressed dissatisfaction with. Should I intimate that I'm interested, or just leave it be and be supportive?

If she leaves him for you, this means she's willing to leave one man for a (apparently) "better" man.

Do you have the fortitude and character to never falter, thus ensuring she doesn't do the same to you a year or two into a relationship? Will you be better than any other apparent potentials down the line?

 

[krrrt]

Hi GAF

I heard some things I didn't want to hear today and I'm going crazy over them.
I know I'm having a pity party and I know this is pretty LiveJournal-y and more than a little self-indulgent and pathetic but I feel like I'm on the verge of relapsing.
My rational mind knows I probably won't do it cause that would be stupid, but I'm still having a hard time.

WHY DOES LOVE HAVE TO BE SO HARD.

 

[Sadsic]

if i hate myself should i not be trying to date anyone?

 

[HarryHengst]

if i hate myself should i not be trying to date anyone?

Yes. Get therapy or something. Dating someone wont remove the reasons you hate yourself.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Ok, so I've noticed something recently that I figured I'd ask around here about. You may or may not remember a few months back (6ish) I came in talking about my breakup with my ex who I'd been with for 6 years (or first month of undergrad actually). At the time I definitely was completely going out of my mind when it came to women. I felt the need to "look" for someone really hard and was trying to figure out who the next person I would date would be.

Flash forward to now and I'm back to being relatively clear minded when it comes to this. So now I've been going out with friends to bars and whatever and on any given night a lot of my friends will constantly try and ask me what I think about girl x or y who is just sitting at the bar or I barely know or try and get me to go hit on the girl. They do this with people they see me talking to as well. If I'm just talking to a girl they're like "O are you hitting on her? Are you interested?" This is from my friends both in relationships and single. Somehow I can't convey to them that sometimes I'm honestly just trying to meet someone and NOT trying to hit on them. Including attractive girls. When I see a hot girl, obviously I notice, but that doesn't automatically mean when I talk to them I'm hitting on them.

Is this a common phenomena? I've come to realize it would take someone pretty amazing to get me to really want to work at trying to date a girl again. You don't find people you connect with like that all that often, so I'm not really all that worried. My friends keep telling me I have to be more "aggressive" or whatever whenever I'm even moderately interested. I just don't see it. I don't mind just talking to a girl. If I want to hit on her I'll make it obvious. I dunno it just seems weird. Maybe it's because I'm normally a pretty seclusive guy, but when I actually want to be social I'm pretty good at it so people think I'm trying. Who knows. The whole dynamic is just weird though. Sometimes I worry these girls I'm talking to think I'm hitting on them or trying to sleep with them since that's what my friends seem to think.

 

[TheSchwab_7]

Hey dude. She sucks why feel crappy?

Just been experiencing a lot of girls who seem great at first who then turn out to be completely insane in the end. :/ Plus I didn't appreciate the fact she called me out on wanting sex. She made me feel like a player, which I'm not.

if i hate myself should i not be trying to date anyone?

Gotta love yourself before you can love someone else. Take a break and focus on yourself for awhile.

 

[AHA-Lambda]

K guys, got dumped last Monday and, honestly, it was probably my first "real" relationship. Lasted just over a year.

It feels so weird. We seemed like we genuinely quite loved each other but as of about a month ago my ex said that her feelings have changed and she only sees us as friends now, good friends admittedly - she admits herself her circle of friends isn't very large so she still would like to hang out once in awhile when I feel ready.

I was an absolute bloody wreck when it happened, feel better now that time has passed for it to sink in, still not 100% obviously. Went out on Monday night to get my mind off of it all, kinda worked tbh. Times like this have made me realise who my friends are, that even includes her. She was genuinely concerned for me and how this would affect me - she was crying herself when she was breaking up with me.

The thing I don't get is the sudden turn around though
Only 3 months ago she got me a iPad for my 21st! But now it's a case of "I just can't see us as boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love me."

Shit still kinda hurts gaf She wants to hang out again quite soon, and see the avengers with some friends. Anyone have any thoughts or opinions on this lil tale?
I don't feel ready for another relationship yet, I'll be back into this topic properly when I am

 

[Hausmeister]

Has a girl who asks you to punch a guy (not entirely serious) after dating him three months and getting a breakup with the reason "there were no sparks" already friendzoned you? If not, what would be the appropriate amount of time to ask her out after that?

 

[hawkshockey11]

Wait, I thought that you told her that her email was sending out spam and stuff? I know it's not like "talking" talking, but you were both still in contact. I'm just saying it wouldn't of been hard to just throw in a happy birthday somewhere in there to you.

To me, it sounds like she's pissed that she lost you, because there's no reason someone would be so cold to someone else, especially if the other person wants to be friends still.

I told her but she didn't say anything back. Like the last 6 times I have sent something.

And she dumped me and has found multiple people that are much better than me. She had many chances to get me back. I asked her if she wanted to try again a week after the break-up and she didn't know what to say so I told her to "sleep on it and get back to me tomorrow" she never said a thing. I really would have been happy with a no. It is all just really confusing. She doesn't seem capable of all this crap. She was really good friends with her ex that dumped her 3 times. I can't be worse than that can I?

K guys, got dumped last Monday and, honestly, it was probably my first "real" relationship. Lasted just over a year.

It feels so weird. We seemed like we genuinely quite loved each other but as of about a month ago my ex said that her feelings have changed and she only sees us as friends now, good friends admittedly - she admits herself her circle of friends isn't very large so she still would like to hang out once in awhile when I feel ready.

I was an absolute bloody wreck when it happened, feel better now that time has passed for it to sink in, still not 100% obviously. Went out on Monday night to get my mind off of it all, kinda worked tbh. Times like this have made me realise who my friends are, that even includes her. She was genuinely concerned for me and how this would affect me - she was crying herself when she was breaking up with me.

The thing I don't get is the sudden turn around though
Only 3 months ago she got me a iPad for my 21st! But now it's a case of "I just can't see us as boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love me."

Shit still kinda hurts gaf She wants to hang out again quite soon, and see the avengers with some friends. Anyone have any thoughts or opinions on this lil tale?
I don't feel ready for another relationship yet, I'll be back into this topic properly when I am

Feelings change fast and 3 months is a lot of time. It seems like it was a good break-up though and you guys will be friends in the end. I wouldn't hang out just yet. It will just feel like you are dating again. Take a few weeks off to mourn and focus on yourself and then you guys can talk again.

 

[VASPER]

So long story short, i starting seeing this girl last week on Saturday 4/7/12 we used texting every day that week seeing each other 5 times since then, once on my birthday 4/15 and that's the last time we saw each other. So she goes on saying she is so busy she cant talk for the next few weeks that scares me, then she hasn't talked to me in 3 days and i am freaking out. I like this girl a lot and have only given of myself when i feel she is accepting so i am so freaking scared i like her a lot and i feel like I've already lost her. Hug me GAF i don't really have anyone else to talk to right now so lay into me.