Just trust us. It will cause drama. And accusing a girl of doing dirty shit from hearsay will make you look bad. Just take your money and run.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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Just trust us. It will cause drama. And accusing a girl of doing dirty shit from hearsay will make you look bad. Just take your money and run.
ConradCervantes
Banned
Yeah, don't do it, Branson. Just let the knowledge of her indiscretions be enough for you. Confronting her will only lead to wanting to know more and more, and that thought process will consume you.
You can if you want, but man, I really do advise to fuck that shit and keep it to yourself. I still have never told my first ex that I knew she fucked around (we hang out here and there).
Kind of sounds like you do. Maybe not maliciously against HER, but definitely as a form of catharsis for yourself.
Give her a piece of your mind, get it off your chest and make her feel like an even more piece of shit. She hurt you bad, man.
hawkshockey11
Banned
Honestly what you do is up to you. I probably would decide to tell her if I was in your shoes, but from the armchair where I am now it seems like a pointless comment.
Good to hear Leeness! Let us know how it all goes.
I think the alcohol influenced the post a bit.
He has been a good friend to me in a lot of ways, but it's just the little things bugged me a lot the other night.
Everytime we go out I'm always second to him, I'm almost invisible whilst he's the one who gets the attention all the time. This isn't entirely his fault, it's just the way he is with people I guess.
We might be going out again tonight (he invited me out), but I'm going to make sure I'm not how I usually am around him. I've just got to call him out on the times he's spouting bullshit, and also stand my ground a bit more as a person.
I must say as a person the past week or so I've gotten a lot more confident with myself, and I'm certainly not putting myself down as much as I used to. I'm a cool dude, I'm talented, I have a lot to offer, and I shouldn't shy away all the time like I usually do.
Anyway, sorry for bringing in this into this thread.
Smelly Tramp
Member
Mate, on campus is all well and good but I'm not a student any more, finished my last exam in my final year and now have gone back to my hometown and living at home with family.
Plus the whole "classes" thing is a very American thing, doesn't really happen here. We're a drink and drugs culture, only way to meet birds is down the pub or in clubs.
Only way I met my ex is because I was living on campus 2 years ago and we just connected. God damn it.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
Hey - If I can come with my opinion on this, I would like to, because I was given a great advice once, that helped me not judge people so much (which has been a really big problem for me in the past). It goes something like this;
"Just because you don't like something about someone, it does not make them a bad person"
The person who told me this meant it in a way (I think) that I should not feel disappointed when people around me didn't always do what I expected or wanted them to do.
I too have a friend, who becomes egotistical and narcissistic when it comes to women. He too is a lady killer, yet he is very unstable and can't handle rejection. So for someone, who must have slept with over 50 chicks. Perhaps above 100, and I am not joking. How dare he act all psycho when he eventually is faced against a woman who gets pumped'and them dumps his ass?
I think we can find similarities in other things -
Even though Billionaires have tons money, they still get furious when they lose money even though they have much less reason to be mad than someone who is poor.
Same thing goes for top athletes. There was big talks about an athelete who killed himself over coming second in a world championship. He was the second best in the entire world, so he killed himself. This is not intelligent behavior, but we see this pattern everywhere.
I am saying that you should be reactive against your friend. But even if your friend has a poor trade, it doesn't mean you need to reject him or something. You can choose to accept that as a part of him, if you can live with it. Maybe you have knowledge now about it. Maybe you just don't hang out with him in these sorts of social venues, but instead in places were socializing and egostroking is not on the bender. Your friends can have character flaws. That doesn't make them bad people, and I think we expect too much of a friendship if we don't allow them to be bad at some things.
Your friend does not sound like a emphatic wing man. If you can't live with it, or your standards are high, then go ahead give him hell, or ignore him, or do the thing that will spike change.
I just wanted to tell you this because it allowed me to change my own perspective on my friends perspective. It helped me realize that just because I live up to my own standards, I can't expect others to live up to them.
It's like the advice that was told to combine over and over again - If you open the door for someone expecting a "thank you", then you are opening it for the wrong reasons. Open the door, and do the right thing because you want to. Don't be mad or sad that the other person is not following your example. We can't expect that, but our egos tell us that we can't.
It's why you can't follow the mantra "treat others like you want to be treated yourself". The intent is sound and it means well, but think about it! People are different. stereotypes and generalizations can only take you so far. Whatever you do, or whatever you think is right, will piss other people off.
Maybe the guy told her he told you about her fooling around.
If she has any shred of moral fiber left in her, the guilt of not telling you and living with that secret will fester and cause her more suffering than hearing you say that you know.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
I enjoy reading your posts, because your approach seems more genuine. No matter how much I see the PUA's I find it unnatural. I would not be comfortable with someone (man or woman) coming up to me and asking what my favorite color is. That would be weird, because I don't see it as a socially good starting point.
How exactly are you making girls come over to you?
I don't understand it. I don't think I am unattractive(?). I know I am tall, so maybe that makes people angry, but I only get compliments from men. A very drunk man told me I looked like Clive Owen which I think is crazy and can't be true, and said guy, was so drunk he could barely walk.
So guys I can talk too about anything, and no harm done, but women seems afraid of me, which is weird.
I only stick around places were I am genuinely enjoying myself.
You think that girls don't approach you, if you have a friend guy standing next to you?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
She did get away with it. Telling her you know is just for your own piece of mind because I guess you knowing that she knows you know is important to you for some reason. It comes off as vindictive and spiteful.
I know what you're feeling when I put myself in that sort of emotional frame of mind, and I know it's eating away at you, but it really is pointless to talk about.
You have been in a bar or club before, right? Practically every word uttered by anyone there is far dumber than 'what's your favorite color?'. If I got asked that I'd be relieved and perceive the asker as a comparably intelligent and thoughtful person.
Alright guys, thanks, Ive decided I'm not going to tell her I know. I know, and thats all that matters. I am nervous as fuck though to see her again. Heeeerree we gooo.
So like, my friend just asked me if I was going to tell her. I said no. He said "Damn, and she gets away with all of it". Fuuuuck.
So like, my friend just asked me if I was going to tell her. I said no. He said "Damn, and she gets away with all of it". Fuuuuck.
But that's the thing, she already has gotten away with it. All telling her does is say "I know that you know you did a bad thing"
Yeah, I know. She hasn't texted me back and its been about an hour. She said she would give it to me today. Its starting to piss me off.
And he just sent me a really pissed off text saying to not ask for his advice if I'm not going to take it lol.
luckyboyceo
Member
Count me in on the don't confront her train.
Trust us, Branson. You think it's a good idea right now, but if you were to confront her, it'd just add a whole extra layer of drama to your life that you just don't need. Sure, you might not ever get that definitive closure that you're looking for on the situation, but you're also not going to get the anger, bitterness and (most likely) regret that comes with it. Pick your poison, I guess, but I'd strongly advise against a confrontation.
Vermillion
Banned
I'd tell her, remain calm while telling her, then cut her off, but... your decision.
Vermillion
Banned
Good shit, dude
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
I'm in such a depressed slump. It sucks not having any of my college friends around to do stuff with. Makes everything lonely as hell.
I hate not being able to go bars or do anything to really meet people. There's really not much to do for someone my age when college's out. Suggestion on possible place to check out?
Anyway, enough of my negativity injection to the thread.
Carry on.
I hate not being able to go bars or do anything to really meet people. There's really not much to do for someone my age when college's out. Suggestion on possible place to check out?
Anyway, enough of my negativity injection to the thread.
Carry on.
SpectreFire
Member
Alright guys, I finally recently took a new picture of myself and I decided to give my profile an overhaul.
What do you think?
What do you think?
2 months ago I met a girl who was from another city. Went out drinking, had a good time but I wasn't forward enough and nothing happened. I'm pretty sure she was looking to hook up thinking back but oh well.
Now, I texted today her saying I'll be in her city for the weekend and did she want to meet up. I was going to try and be forward this time and actually get somewhere. The thing is, she said yes but said "We can meet for drinks on friday as mates". Nothing too subtle about that, huh? Should I go for broke and be very upfront in a text to her saying something like I was looking for more than just mates if we met up or meet up and try and break the FZ in person(is there any point at this stage)?
Now, I texted today her saying I'll be in her city for the weekend and did she want to meet up. I was going to try and be forward this time and actually get somewhere. The thing is, she said yes but said "We can meet for drinks on friday as mates". Nothing too subtle about that, huh? Should I go for broke and be very upfront in a text to her saying something like I was looking for more than just mates if we met up or meet up and try and break the FZ in person(is there any point at this stage)?
SpectreFire
Member
Just on the front, there's a picture of it on my profile.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Friends routinely bringing home girls to fuck. I cannot find any takers. Feelsbadman 
I think she was being very upfront herself. Have fun, maybe it will go somewhere if its in the cards, but if you voice your intentions now, she may bail.
But is there even any point meeting if she said that? I don't want to go knowing I'm dead in the friendzone. That isn't fun, I'd be skipping my real friends to be seeing her. Shouldn't I make my intentions clear and if she still wants to meet then cool, if she says no way well then it was never going to work anyway?
You're a guy from out of town that she met two months ago and you're calling her cause you're in town for the weekend. There's no prospect of a relationship for her here, just 'slut shame'. Doesn't mean that it couldn't have worked under normal circumstances. Don't miss time with your friends for her, invite her to hang out with the group if you still wanna gauge where she's at.
It's hooking up, not a relationship but she was the one that set the first meeting up in my city and she sure wasn't after a relationship. I think she was wanting to hook up and I wasn't forward enough originally. I wouldn't call her a slut but from what I found out she's...experienced.
shanshan310
Member
I think it would feel like a weight off your chest telling her, if its not too late. You don't want to look back and wish you had.
I'd be afraid of putting love there, as it might scare off too many people. Of course, if you're looking for a romantic it's not terrible to have on there.
There is an undercurrent of self-deprecation - is that something you want to convey? It doesn't jive with the "I'm the greatest man that ever lived", and so you seem mixed up.
"Just doing what every other 23 year old is..." - you should strive to be different. You need to stand out to get noticed. Don't tell people how you're the same, they'll assume that for you.
The "I'm good at making bullet point lists" is a bit trite.
Typo: prospects aren't exactly clear
A general point: show, don't tell, when possible. Don't tell them you're good at making people laugh, just make them laugh.
gamergirly
Member
I would suggest a temporary mmorpg to pass the time. U may even be able to meet up with a clan member depending on where u live
This is slightly old but still:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU&feature=player_embedded
I think it could help quite a few in here. If nothing else, it's a great way to get a better mind control.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU&feature=player_embedded
I think it could help quite a few in here. If nothing else, it's a great way to get a better mind control.
Attackthebase
Member
Switch the word "rad" with "groovy." Because groovy is the best word in the world.
I also had blue hair, children were in love with it. It felt awesome. Now, I'm rocking the auburn.
Yeah guys, she never responded to my text last night. Who knows why. I just said "I'm off, let's meet at this place". Ugh. I just want this over with.
I mean, I don't even enjoy my hobbies anymore like playing and being interested in gaming and the whole culture around it. I just work and try to hang out with people. I'm not even excited for E3. And that's weird for me. It really really sucks to buy something like diablo 3 and play it for like an hour a day and stop after 3 total because your mind just hates you.
I'm never getting in a relationship again. :/.
I mean, I don't even enjoy my hobbies anymore like playing and being interested in gaming and the whole culture around it. I just work and try to hang out with people. I'm not even excited for E3. And that's weird for me. It really really sucks to buy something like diablo 3 and play it for like an hour a day and stop after 3 total because your mind just hates you.
I'm never getting in a relationship again. :/.
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
Give it time man and you will find someone else. This 5 day trip I have been doing in Prague was just what I needed to get my mind at ease from my ex and the pyschological pain I've had left main side mentally. I've met two ladies on two separate nights and had fun in my apartment for the night life and been going everywhere in the day exploring. It's fantastic and I would reccomend to people here to just go on holiday, either by yourself or with a pal (I went alone) and forget about the past and move on for the future with a new state of mind. It's done me wonders.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
I don't enjoy MMOs. But even so, I live pretty far from any big city, so a meetup is highly unlikely.
You know, you're probably not seeing that money for a good long time.
Yeah. Why respond to me if she's not going to follow through? I have literally never met someone who is as terrible of a person as she is. I don't think she knows I could take her to small claims court over this
If you don't get paid in a month or two, go for it.
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