Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Women want a violent aggressive male to protect them. More kawaii guys like me can look more badass by working out, at the very least.

That or you can date a woman of another race, unless you're an Asian guy in which case you have to work out. [P.S. is funny joak]

Also, you can wear red. I love wearing red.

How does that explain Justin Beiber and groups like One Direction?
 
>.< Damn me for not having a manly face. Maybe if I act all threatening that'll help? Maybe like, carry a big ass knife between my teeth, offset the lack of masculinity with an increase of danger and threat?

What if you met someone looking like Bruce Willis, a bad-ass looking guy. You shake his hands and he has the weakest, floppiest handshake you've ever felt. You ask him where you want to go for lunch, he's unsure, indecisive. He doesn't take the lead, he doesn't even seem sure of himself. He keeps looking around, twitchy movements, his eyes flick left and right. When he speaks he ums and errs, he speaks quickly as though throwing the words he's saying out of his mouth as quickly as possible.

Being a badass has nothing to do with looks. Its a combination of body language and the lens through which you process the world around you. Your just limiting yourself in your thinking here. Im not saying "become a dickhead" or "become a badass" but remember that you actually do have the capacity to become whatever type of personality you want. Seriously!
 
Thats a really good idea actually. Acting classes, salsa classes, other dance classes. Once I get back from the States this summer and start my MSc next year Im going to start doing some bar work. Anything with constant interactions with other people to push my social skills. Id really like to try and start promoting night clubs and stuff.
I think it would be a lot of fun taking some acting classes, and maybe even dance classes as you said.

It would force me to open up a bit more, and that would hopefully benefit me when I'm out and about.

>.< Damn me for not having a manly face. Maybe if I act all threatening that'll help? Maybe like, carry a big ass knife between my teeth, offset the lack of masculinity with an increase of danger and threat?
Perhaps dress differently and get a haircut? They can both potentially help a man look more manly.
 
Women want a violent aggressive male to protect them. More kawaii guys like me can look more badass by working out, at the very least.

That or you can date a woman of another race, unless you're an Asian guy in which case you have to work out. [P.S. is funny joak]

Also, you can wear red. I love wearing red.

Be careful about generalizing. If you have a non-masculine face, you'll just attract girls that are attracted to non-masculine faces. If you try to be something you aren't, you'll just look funny.

It bothers me that guys will say you can be "an ass/breast/face man", someone who prefers "cute/hot girls", likes "confident/shy girls", etc., but when it comes to women, they say, well, all women want this, this, and that.

If you're just looking to improve your chances of finding some girlfriend, then yeah, there are changes you can make to your appearance. But when if starts affecting who you are, then you'll have a problem.
 
Be careful about generalizing. If you have a non-masculine face, you'll just attract girls that are attracted to non-masculine faces. If you try to be something you aren't, you'll just look funny.

It bothers me that guys will say you can be "an ass/breast/face man", someone who prefers "cute/hot girls", likes "confident/shy girls", etc., but when it comes to women, they say, well, all women want this, this, and that.

If you're just looking to improve your chances of finding some girlfriend, then yeah, there are changes you can make to your appearance. But when if starts affecting who you are, then you'll have a problem.

He's right you know. I was once talking to a pretty smart guy and we saw some badass looking guy and I said "He must get all the girls" to which he replies "No, he only gets certain girls".

No such thing as a universally attractive person.
 
If you don't know, why should anyone else? How COULD anyone else?

I think I'm a decent person. Shouldn't the other person know if they'll like me or not?

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. It doesn't mean you're not fun. You just like different things.

You just haven't met like-minded people. For introverts it can be tricky since they like being by themselves, but they're out there and chances are they're looking for people like you too.

I know. I just haven't met anyone like that in person yet.




Thanks.
 
I know. I just haven't met anyone like that in person yet.

Thanks.
Have you tried OkCupid? I messaged someone for about a month until we had a date last week. Even though the first date was kind of strange given we had already talked about so much, it still went really well once she was no longer nervous. Maybe you're similar?

And you don't have to worry that you're an introvert - my "What do you do on a Friday night" is "Going to dinner with friends, studying, playing board/card/video games, painting, or homework (terribly interesting, I know)." As a guy, I average around one unsolicited message a week. As a girl, you'll get a ton more than that.
 
Be careful about generalizing. If you have a non-masculine face, you'll just attract girls that are attracted to non-masculine faces. If you try to be something you aren't, you'll just look funny.

It bothers me that guys will say you can be "an ass/breast/face man", someone who prefers "cute/hot girls", likes "confident/shy girls", etc., but when it comes to women, they say, well, all women want this, this, and that.

If you're just looking to improve your chances of finding some girlfriend, then yeah, there are changes you can make to your appearance. But when if starts affecting who you are, then you'll have a problem.

Hey don't put down lookin funny. Have you seen a LMFAO music video?
 
Whose ascribing fault? You like what you like, in large part due to biology.

It's not a judgement to say that you get your panties wet over jerks. It just is. We (men) can learn from it, or we can deny it and learn nothing.

I don't get my panties wet over jerks. But I guess if you want to read it that way.
 
I don't get my panties wet over jerks. But I guess if you want to read it that way.

Well, if you are attracted to a guy, the chances of you actually identifying him as a jerk are slim to none.

In fact, no matter how much friends and family may warn you about said jerk, you'll probably stand by him and say something like 'Oh you just don't KNOW him' or 'You don't get him' or something like that.

The vagina will always overpower reason. It shares that power with the penis. They are our overlords.
 
Well, if you are attracted to a guy, the chances of you actually identifying him as a jerk are slim to none.

In fact, no matter how much friends and family may warn you about said jerk, you'll probably stand by him and say something like 'Oh you just don't KNOW him' or 'You don't get him' or something like that.

The vagina will always overpower reason. It shares that power with the penis. They are our overlords.

I must have evolved past the state where I make excuses for assholes because I find them physically attractive. But thanks for the assumptions.
 
I must have evolved past the state where I make excuses for assholes because I find them physically attractive. But thanks for the assumptions.

Again, had you been attracted to them, you would have found it very difficult to correctly identify them as assholes.

Once the labia moisten, reality is malleable.
 
Uh at this point I hope what you're posting is pure parody because it's insulting.

Nah, I'm just a big believer in biomechanics.

Men aren't immune either. Ask any guy who's had a friend who let his gf treat him like shit, simply because her power over his dick convinced him she was a loving treasure of a person.


Jesus man, WTF is wrong with you? Not everybody conforms to what you were told by your bros.


If by 'my bros' you mean the members of the scientific community that have done extensive studies on gender relations and sexuality, then yes, I would say most human beings do in fact conform to those patterns, regardless of how much their personal view of themselves conflicts with the idea.
 
Nah, I'm just a big believer in biomechanics.

Men aren't immune either. Ask any guy who's had a friend who let his gf treat him like shit, simply because her power over his dick convinced him she was a loving treasure of a person.

Don't let the existence of non-abusive relationships fuck up your argument or anything.
 
What the crap happened in here??? D: I don't want to date jerks!

EDIT: I'm not sure how they could do research into something so subjective as "liking a 'jerk' ", but okay.
 
A "nice guy" is complaining about assholes taking the women he never had.

I'd like you to quote something resembling a complaint, actually.

Or anything that suggests I'm a nice guy (in the facetious sense or otherwise), for that matter.

I don't have many problems with women, actually, because I choose to absorb the information provided by the scientific community and make use of it.


And apparently I'm pretty good looking, according to people here, though I've never considered myself such. So that may help, but I've obviously never relied on it since I've never thought of it as a strength.
 
women love confidence, and jerks are likely to have confidence. Obviously, you don't have to be a jerk in order to be confident. That's basically it.
 
Any ideas for a guy in South Florida that doesn't have any close friends to go out and do to meet people and women and stuff? I'm trying to stay positive but i am struggling to think of a way to be able to go out on my own and make something happen other than message girls on cupid who always flake out. Everyone always says "join clubs' but honestly i wouldn't know how to begin with that. I'm not in high school or college anymore where you go find a sign-up sheet. I'm 28 living on my own. I'm tempted to just drive somewhere and walk around but honestly that never works for me cause i fall into the habit of just minding my own business and moving quickly when i get nervous.
 
women love confidence, and jerks are likely to have confidence. Obviously, you don't have to be a jerk in order to be confident. That's basically it.

The study I quoted had nothing to do with confidence. There was no behavior involved, because it was based purely on pictures.

It merely shows that there is a direct overlap in the men that women view as attractive and the men they view as threatening.

Which is to say, a man they view as more or less likely and capable of dealing them violence or ill treatment, are also the men they are more likely to turn around and bend forward for.


Love this stuff:

Gents, we are on the cusp of physiological PROOF that women get wet for assholes.



http://www.bakadesuyo.com/are-dangerous-men-more-attractive-men
 
I'd like you to quote something resembling a complaint, actually.

Or anything that suggests I'm a nice guy (in the facetious sense or otherwise), for that matter.

I don't have many problems with women, actually, because I choose to absorb the information provided by the scientific community and make use of it.


And apparently I'm pretty good looking, according to people here, though I've never considered myself such. So that may help, but I've obviously never relied on it since I've never thought of it as a strength.

Did you ever think that maybe they're choosing the slightly scary looking dudes in order to keep themselves safe? See look I can make conclusions too.
 
Did you ever think that maybe they're choosing the slightly scary looking dudes in order to keep themselves safe? See look I can make conclusions too.

Read the study.

The operational definition of threatening in this study was not 'capable' or 'strong'.

It was defined in terms of a person's willingness or ability to deal harm to the subject (the women).

Furthermore, the brainscans involved showed activity in the part of the brain that deals with attraction, and the part of the brain that deals with threat assessment.

The men they are attracted to are men they deem as potential threats to THEMSELVES.
 
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Read the study.

The operational definition of threatening in this study was not 'capable' or 'strong'.

It was defined in terms of a person's willingness or ability to deal harm to the subject (the women).

Furthermore, the brainscans involved showed activity in the part of the brain that deals with attraction, and the part of the brain that deals with threat assessment.

The men they are attracted to are men they deem as potential threats to THEMSELVES.

Any man who's big and nasty enough to fuck another dude up can just bat me aside no problem. I don't think you understand what I'm asserting here. That we can come to conclusions based on that information when nothing more is specified. You're deciding it means women love them some assholes rather than they're choosing men who can protect the unit even if they find them a bit scary themselves. In fact that might be why they choose them. But who the fuck even cares, you're asserting biology as the end all be all of human interaction which is just simplistic and insulting to the fact that people are social animals and have moved past such limiting primal urges.
 
^ lol.


Aside from the fact I've met plenty of jerk-y guys who didn't look very physically strong. The definition for "a jerk" is so subjective anyway.
 
You really should do a self-study. Become an asshole and see how many women you get raging horny after you.

Oh wait.

I might try it. I did find that being aloof and indifferent, showing no regard for what women thought in conversation or interaction, or what they thought of me, DID lead to a sizeable uptick in interest.

Granted, that's more of a subdued narcissism than outwardly threatening behavior, but they all fit under the umbrella of sociopathic character traits.


There was actually a great book called 'The Psychopath Test' which showed that a higher than average percentage of successful business people could be classified as sociopaths. I would be interested to see if those classified as sociopaths also saw greater success than women.

I would guess yes.
 
By all means, provide a study that contradicts the findings.

Your white-knighting to preserve the honor of the noble treasures of the feminine are neither informative nor inspiring.
It's literally what the study you linked said. The fact masculine men are both more attractive and more dangerous than feminine mean doesn't mean attractive comes from danger.

And what's the problem with me being a white knight. Maybe one of these maidens will give me their noble treasures. Knights love treasures.
 
It's literally what the study you linked said. The fact masculine men are both more attractive and more dangerous than feminine mean doesn't mean attractive comes from danger.

And what's the problem with me being a white knight. Maybe one of these damsels will give me their noble treasures. Knights love treasures.

So danger comes from attraction?

There's clearly a correlation, if the same men that are dampening pussies are also stirring danger warning mechanisms in the brain.
 
So danger comes from attraction?

There's clearly a correlation, if the same men that are dampening pussies are also stirring danger warning mechanisms in the brain.

Attraction and danger come from masculinity. It's literally what your link says. A more masculine man is more dangerous than a feminine one. A more masculine man is more attractive.

Did you really need a study to tell you this?
 
Attraction and danger come from masculinity. It's literally what your link says. A more masculine man is more dangerous than a feminine one. A more masculine man is more attractive.

What I think is a more interesting study is the one that found that women on the pill become attracted to more feminine men while they're using it. /offtopic.
 
Attraction and danger come from masculinity. It's literally what your link says. A more masculine man is more dangerous than a feminine one. A more masculine man is more attractive.

Did you really need a study to tell you this?

I liked seeing conclusive evidence of it from brain scans.

If you think the fact that masculine men are perceived by women as both more attractive AND more threatening is just a wonderful, beautiful coincidence of nature, then so be it.

What I think is a more interesting study is the one that found that women on the pill become attracted to more feminine men while they're using it. /offtopic.

Makes sense to me.

When a woman's hormone cocktail is looking to reproduce, she's looking for the masculine, threatening, alpha bad-boys to create strong off-spring.

When her hormone levels have been adjusted post-pregnancy or ovulation (or manipulated by science) so that reproduction isn't top priority, she goes looking for the less dangerous provider and nurturing males to spend their resources on her.

The ideal scenario, she raises the alpha's child using the other guy's resources.

So a woman with pill-manipulated hormones is in provider-search mode, not 'fuck a baby into me' mode.
 
women get wet for assholes.

you get your panties wet over jerks.

Once the labia moisten, reality is malleable.


the same men that are dampening pussies are also stirring danger warning mechanisms

'fuck a baby into me' mode.

I don't have many problems with women

You silver tongue devil you probably do now.
 
That study describes a trend - it doesn't give you the leeway to pick out a woman, say, "This is how you view men and this is what you are attracted to" without being sexist.

This is ignoring the fact that brain activation studies are known for leading scientists to make poor conclusions.

And by the time you were saying
The Antitype said:
Again, had you been attracted to them, you would have found it very difficult to correctly identify them as assholes.

Once the labia moisten, reality is malleable.
You were being sexist, derogatory, and objectifying Devolution.

And if you're think I'm just white-knighting, I'm doing this because I hate when men speak for me about what I'm looking for in someone, or say I'm only interested in sex because I'm a guy and that's all guys are interested in.
 
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