Bam Bam Baklava
Member
If I had those eyes I would be a model. Dat ocean blue.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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If I had those eyes I would be a model. Dat ocean blue.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
It's not supposed to be funny. You have a unique color that I have always liked.
Ok, better. It turns out you're a normal looking guy! Nothing too remarkable, and nothing at all which would constitute a problem. A blank slate to layer confidence on.
You've got a head start on many. Don't waste that, man.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
yeah, he's right. That's a sweet color.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
Do I seem like the kind of person that would bullshit you? Everyone here would describe me as an extreme realist.
what the fuck man. you look like a normal guy. As long as you have a little bit of a personality you shouldn't have any trouble finding girls.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Either you are a troll or you are a lost cause.
If you think for a moment that the regular counselors in this thread--who have had our patience stretched nearly to the breaking point--are going to play nice with you, or are afraid we will hurt your feelings, you are SORELY mistaken.
You obviously aren't responding to compliments, so perhaps you'll respond better to tough love.
Stop playing the victim and realize that the world is not conspiring against you. This is Neogaf. If you looked like a slob, or dressed funny, or had an off face, it would be constructively stated. This has not happened. All that has happened is the kind guys in this thread--who are offering help--have been rebuked by your sniveling and disgusting lack of self-esteem.
You are ugly, Izick, but it's not because of your physical features. You are ugly because you project yourself as ugly. You have such large confidence and self-consciousness problems that not even the mighty Neogaf can calm your fears.
We cannot help you. Until you fix your horribly fucked up inner image of yourself, there is absolutely nothing that can be offered from us in this thread.
Did you see the pictures?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I saw them, but I don't want to compliment you because you're being a nasty piece of shit.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Yes I did.
1. Not ugly. Period. End of discussion. No sarcasm or jokes at all. You. Are. Not. Ugly. I don't know how else to say it that you won't take it wrong way. I'm trying to be all nice and giving out false compliments, I don't fucking do that even in real life. Listen to what we are saying.
2. Please, please, please, work on your attitude. Please, I'm trying to help you and all that, but there's a song that says:
We are not your enemies, don't treat us like we are and you'll learn things!
My friend, you have some self image issues. You're not a bad looking guy at all...it's all in your head. I know a girl who goes through this exact same thing and she's beautiful. Have you tried talking to someone about it?
Smelly Tramp
Member
so a little update for everyone:
got talking to a girl i really should not be talking to due to her being associated with certain friends before, and also my best friend really likes her.
one thing lead to another, we did things, although not as far as sex because she didn't put out (which i respect). nobody knows about it, but she really likes me.
it's weird, i could pursue other girls, but there's something about this one. she's like my twin, exact same life situation, exact same hobbies, music and film interest. she's also different from the ex-gf in that i can rip her to shreds and it just bounces off her, and then she does the same to me.
she's perfect for me in every way really, but i do NOT want another girlfriend, another relationship, and for my 2 friends to cut me off.
and in typical sod's law fashion, like in the last scene of swingers, as soon as i'm ready to move on from the ex-gf, guess who starts txting me long batshit insane messages. she's now saying she doesn't want to let go, that she wants us to meet up and get back together. she tried to ring me like 7 times last night, and txt me about 10 times.
MY HEAD IS SO CONFUSED.
got talking to a girl i really should not be talking to due to her being associated with certain friends before, and also my best friend really likes her.
one thing lead to another, we did things, although not as far as sex because she didn't put out (which i respect). nobody knows about it, but she really likes me.
it's weird, i could pursue other girls, but there's something about this one. she's like my twin, exact same life situation, exact same hobbies, music and film interest. she's also different from the ex-gf in that i can rip her to shreds and it just bounces off her, and then she does the same to me.
she's perfect for me in every way really, but i do NOT want another girlfriend, another relationship, and for my 2 friends to cut me off.
and in typical sod's law fashion, like in the last scene of swingers, as soon as i'm ready to move on from the ex-gf, guess who starts txting me long batshit insane messages. she's now saying she doesn't want to let go, that she wants us to meet up and get back together. she tried to ring me like 7 times last night, and txt me about 10 times.
MY HEAD IS SO CONFUSED.
Hypereides
Member
Word.
Hes probably not bad looking, but his constant desire for validation and reaffirmation is disgusting.
Smelly Tramp
Member
Yeh, one thing is for certain, i'm not getting back with her. it's gonna take some willpower knowing i can make one phone call and make it all right and continue to get laid for the near future.
the new girl lives in the same city as me, is not necessarily prettier than my ex gf, but is definitely sexier. she's also common as muck, a peasant like me (well we all are from this city). both unemployed but with prospects.
she's a better kisser as well, has larger breasts and huge arse (looks amazing) and seems like she'd be better in bed.
You sold me on her kind sir.
TurboLibre
Member
Howdy yall. Haven't been in this thread for some time but I thought I'd give a little update:
My life has gone through some massive changes in just a few short months. I moved out of my last place and now I'm in a house with a bunch of my close friends. Got a second job that makes a lot more money, so pretty soon I'll have some expendable cash and can start upgrading various aspects of my life. I'm also turning into quite the extrovert. I've always been an ambivert but normally focused on more of my introverted side, that's changing though. Lately I've been very social almost every night, hanging out with friends or going on some crazy adventures. It's at the point where I don't really like being alone all that much, which is a pretty big change from how I used to be.
Not much has changed when it comes to women though. It's the same old story time and time again: I meet a girl and we hit it off. I'm oblivious to it until one of my friends mentions it. I take interest and make a move. Girl "vanishes". Like clockwork. It's happened so often I've developed a nasty Pavlovian effect, so it's hard not to feel negative about the whole idea of dating, ya know? Now when I find out someone might be interested my gut feeling is "dammit, this won't end well". I'm trying to fight it but the only way I can think of is to actually find some sort of success, so it's a vicious cycle. As sad as it sounds though, the fact I keep finding myself in these situations is a sign of progress. Before this year I'd run into a prospect maybe once a year and now it's happening fairly regularly. At least that's the silver lining I'm seeing here.
Wish I had some good news on that front, but at least everything else is going pretty well. It's mainly a message to those that are stuck in a rut or generally depressed: You don't know where you can be in just a few short months.
My life has gone through some massive changes in just a few short months. I moved out of my last place and now I'm in a house with a bunch of my close friends. Got a second job that makes a lot more money, so pretty soon I'll have some expendable cash and can start upgrading various aspects of my life. I'm also turning into quite the extrovert. I've always been an ambivert but normally focused on more of my introverted side, that's changing though. Lately I've been very social almost every night, hanging out with friends or going on some crazy adventures. It's at the point where I don't really like being alone all that much, which is a pretty big change from how I used to be.
Not much has changed when it comes to women though. It's the same old story time and time again: I meet a girl and we hit it off. I'm oblivious to it until one of my friends mentions it. I take interest and make a move. Girl "vanishes". Like clockwork. It's happened so often I've developed a nasty Pavlovian effect, so it's hard not to feel negative about the whole idea of dating, ya know? Now when I find out someone might be interested my gut feeling is "dammit, this won't end well". I'm trying to fight it but the only way I can think of is to actually find some sort of success, so it's a vicious cycle. As sad as it sounds though, the fact I keep finding myself in these situations is a sign of progress. Before this year I'd run into a prospect maybe once a year and now it's happening fairly regularly. At least that's the silver lining I'm seeing here.
Wish I had some good news on that front, but at least everything else is going pretty well. It's mainly a message to those that are stuck in a rut or generally depressed: You don't know where you can be in just a few short months.
Thanks, but there's definitely some things about my looks I hate an insane amount (like all people though).
Hopefully toning up a bit will amend those issues.
I can't believe some of you guys are being called unattractive, seriously.I hate to be that guy in a topic like this, but I felt like getting a third opinion tonight after a conversation with a friend. He brought up that I looked unattractive, and while I think he was just being a douche, it occurred to me that I don't really have a good sense of male attractiveness so it's not like I'm a good judge anyway.
critique the shit out of it, I'm interested in objective opinion
I'm not interested in dating atm but I've never been good at reading others. I sometimes catch looks, but I don't know if it's just common "gaze-catching" that tends to happen anyway (and being 6'5", I feel like I get weird stares regardless of gender just on the basis of standing out...)
You look like a mix between Tim Buckley and James Franco man.
Damn, I missed it.
I'm sure you look fine man, especially going by what others have said.
Hypereides
Member
Z
ZombieFred
Unconfirmed Member
This. A lot of guys here are not ugly at all and look pretty well for themselves. People here just need to worry less and be more confident. Doing that will put you on the right path of being happy and that along is one of the most attractive things to have
electricshake
Member
From what I've seen you guys are way too hard on yourselves. Missed Izick's pic though. But sometimes little things help - if you wear glasses make sure your frames suit you, or try contacts. Go shopping with someone who's opinion you trust. Go to a stylist instead of a barber next time you need a haircut.
I find if I'm wearing something I feel good in I have so much more confidence. And confidence is key!
I find if I'm wearing something I feel good in I have so much more confidence. And confidence is key!
Jeez, feels like I'm reading my posts from a couple of years ago, except worse. I used to obsess about my looks and feel like I was some horribly unattractive dude, because women didn't seem to care about me. Now I'm not a particularly good looking dude. The best way to describe would be average. But that's fine! Honestly, over the past 2 years I've dated women ranging from good looking to absolutely gorgeous. These women had no trouble answering with a "yes, I'd loved to!" when I asked them out. Granted, things never truly worked out in the end, but that's because I still lack a certain amount of confidence/character.
Women love confidence and they want someone with a great personality. And honestly, who doesn't? As long as you take care of your appearance (good hygiene and clothing), show confidence and are fun/interesting to be around, your physical looks will hardly factor in on whether or not they are willing to date you. And if it does, screw them, they're not worth your time.
@LoftyMetroid:
Tell your friend he's an idiot. You look great. I'd kill for a head of awesome hair like that.
Women love confidence and they want someone with a great personality. And honestly, who doesn't? As long as you take care of your appearance (good hygiene and clothing), show confidence and are fun/interesting to be around, your physical looks will hardly factor in on whether or not they are willing to date you. And if it does, screw them, they're not worth your time.
@LoftyMetroid:
Tell your friend he's an idiot. You look great. I'd kill for a head of awesome hair like that.
Just read back my first post here and it seems like it was mostly just venting and not really asking for advice so I'll rephrase my problem to make it a little bit more TL;DR.
I wanna up the tempo of seeing a girl but we both pretty much agreed not to text if we don't wanna meet up. I invited her once but she couldn't and didn't counterpropose which I HATE. Now I don't wanna keep bothering her since that never works but I feel like I had a lot of fun with her last time and I feel like she cools down after I haven't seen her in a while. I know she'll probably text me in the next week or so but I don't want to wait and would love to spend a ton of time with her over summer.
How do I handle this?
I wanna up the tempo of seeing a girl but we both pretty much agreed not to text if we don't wanna meet up. I invited her once but she couldn't and didn't counterpropose which I HATE. Now I don't wanna keep bothering her since that never works but I feel like I had a lot of fun with her last time and I feel like she cools down after I haven't seen her in a while. I know she'll probably text me in the next week or so but I don't want to wait and would love to spend a ton of time with her over summer.
How do I handle this?
I'm done with you. No wonder you think you're ugly. Your attitude is the worst.
Family members ask you innocent questions about your love life and you think they're making fun of you.
We say you're not ugly, you think we're lying.
You come off as a know it all. Thinking you know how women should act, and yet after finally seeing your picture, I know you're full of it.
You need an attitude adjustment. You don't know anything. I'm almost insulted by your behavior. There are so many people out there that's in a much worse position than you and they make the best of it.
This goes for anyone else out there that thinks their unattractive or whatever... You can only work with what you have... everyone does. You are not special in that regard. I can wish that I'm taller, or have bigger eyes, or better skin. I can wish that I look more like Brad Pitt. But it's not going to happen. The only thing I can do is try and make the best VERSION of me.
My skin sucks... so what do I do? I try and take care of it with moisturizer and facial cleaner to minimize the outbreaks
I'm shorter than average... I wear clothes that fit well and makes me look slightly taller. I work out to be thinner..
I have small eyes.. well nothing I can do about that except own them.
You make do with what you have... but the first thing you need to have, is a better attitude. It all starts there. Izick, seriously man... you really are another combine. (whom I've seen pictures for as well and is not ugly at all) But I already know this post will not be heard by you. You will spin it negatively and spout more woe is me. Grow up.
I will
I like the stuff I have now, it's massively different from before, but it's always nice to get more.Well hey, thanks
I've gone from ordinary 40 dollar blue jeans from the supermarket with what I consider bland tshirts to wearing colorful white or red pants in the 100 dollar range. Some of them have truly outrageous prints on them and I know friends talk about them (most likely in a bad way but who cares). I haven't met a single woman who has not liked the red pants and I get compliments for my strange bird wing printed light blue jeans fairly regularly now Like you said, it comes from within and I'm very comfortable in them. I don't know, even though one pair is bright red, I feel much more comfortable and manly when wearing them. Several guys have made negative remarks about them but that just makes me like them more.soundahfekz
Member
I already know what your problem is man.
Youve become addicted to attention, but hear me out. Negative attention from your false perception of yourself, you've decided, is better than none at all. You're acting out because you feel like you go neglected attention wise and in a way, even if people are frustrated with you, it's better then not virtually existing.
I get it, but now you have to confront Izick's issues head on. This isn't even about dating women right now as you are in no condition for a relationship and that's ok. You have to build a foundation first and only then will you begin to have an identity that will resonate with the opposite sex. Negative attention just perpetuates that reality youve delcared. you must find a way to disconnect from the high.
But if it wasn't my looks...then what could it be? I was always told I was funny, I was always popular back in school and I have many friends now, I've always been invited to parties and stuff because people like me....the look part was the only part that made sense; that's what it had to be. I didn't used to have a shitty attitude, or at least I never acted like it. Looks were the piece that fit...
What the hell do I do now?
What the hell do I do now?
Vermillion
Banned
I didn't see it... oh, well.
Vermillion
Banned
You had all of that going for you and... fuck it. I'm out.
So how do you actually approach girls? Because as much as some people say "just go say hey to them", that only works if you want uggos. You have to come up unique because every girl above level 7/10 is getting hit like 5+ times per night.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
He hasn't. He wants them to approach him.
Count Dookkake
Member
This is not meant as an insult, but maybe you projecting something that others pick up on.
luckyboyceo
Member
You pretty much hit the nail on the head here. Great post.
Izick, this thread is not an endless pool of attention for you. If you don't shape up and start changing your attitude, nobody is going to waste their time/energy on trying to help you out. I know you're frustrated, but moping and bringing everyone down with you isn't going to do yourself any good.
Great to hear that you've been making progress in certain areas of your life. That's a huge step in the right direction, and even if it doesn't have an effect on your dating life directly, it will make you a happier person, which is even more important.
It sounds like you know the answer to your question. You can't go in expecting to fail, because guess what? You will. Your confidence will be shot and you'll look like someone who's totally out of their comfort zone. Even if you are out of your comfort zone, you need to try your hardest so that eventually you'll be comfortable.
Trying flirting more on a regular basis. It can be as easy as asking the girl bagging your groceries a couple questions, looking her right in the eyes and smiling. Anything that can make things more natural for you, so that when you do get yourself in a position where you want to pursue someone, it doesn't feel odd and your confidence is high because you've done it before. I think that's probably your biggest problem right now, you realize someone is interested and you change your attitude to accommodate that and it scares them off, when in reality they just wanted the YOU that they originally met.
To sum it up, try and incorporate more flirting into your daily life. Not only will it allow you to be more comfortable around women, and women who you're interested in, but it will give you a much more lighthearted and carefree vibe, the kind of vibe that we encourage endlessly in this thread. I think you'll start seeing results pretty quick.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
He gotta watch some movies I guess lol... Practice and believe™
Smelly Tramp
Member
You gotta come up with something to say, or come out with a generic line at first. This will cause the girl to look at you.
Then i usually drop a dickhead line like "if you're gonna keep staring at my face you might as well take a picture of me", they'll usually retort with just a smile if it works (at which point i stop being arrogant and talk to them) or if you strike out they'll say "no i wasn't!" or something like that (to which i then turn the situation around).
of course it doesn't always work but i pull off the smug arrogant prick look quite well.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I don't even see what Izick is complaining about. Like he said people like him and he gets invited to parties, shit man I wish I had it that good. You hear that bro, someone in here is actually jealous of you. So stop bringing yourself down and actually try before you complain about girls not swooning at the sight of you.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
If Izick doesn't stop posting in this thread, I'm putting him on my ignore list. He has an inflated sense of self-worth and is playing the victim card for pity and validation. I'm done helping him.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
The reason many people don't post advice here anymore is because this thread is to help those with self-esteem or socializing issues, or lack experience, not to see the same couple of users self-loathing with no chance of helping them out.
electricshake
Member
Jesus you keep acting like you're the victim! Stop wallowing in self pity. Women don't find that attractive. No wonder you're not having any success.
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