Support NeoGAF

[demonkaze]

How much money are we talkin about here. If the money's gone it's gone. Why waste your time on top of it. Tell her to go fuck herself or take her new boy toy instead.

We both spent £700 each on the holiday and then more money on clothes etc for it as well.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Man I wish I looked like Brad Pitt, made 100k a year and drove a ferrari.

 

[Arjen]

I know this post is old EvilLore but i just wanted to quote it because you were 100% correct. Reading this over made my eyes a little wet. It really is missing the point. I really need to do something about myself. I just don't know what. I don't even think theres anything i really to work on beside just learning how to approach women.

What a waste of money. But i don't resent myself because that experience was easily forgettable. Thank god. So much so that i still feel like, and consider myself, a virgin. It really didn't feel like sex at all. No feeling. Over in a flash. It's like nothing happened.

I was hesitant to post this, but what the fuck. I needed to say it. Im glad i did what i did because now i know that shit is not for me. If i didn't do it i would of kept worrying about it day in and day out. Now it's over with. Now i need to work on myself so i can go out there and get a real women and have a real sexual experience and relationship.

You live and learn.

Hey at least you've got it out of your system now, seems like you really learned a thing from the experience, and can now begin making yourself better, seems to me that's a good step forward.

 

[Kung Fu Grip]

@Kung Fu Grip:

What's done is done.

Like you said, live and learn. Go out there and work on yourself man. Don't work on your "game" or how to approach girls, work on you. Trust me, it will go a long way in making you feel better about yourself. I just went through transitioning from what was once a happy relationship, to a total rut where I was a mess and didn't know what to do, to then finally being okay and then even better. That psychological transition from "rut" to "okay" would not have been possible if I didn't avert all energy and time into me, myself and I and bettering my life.

Our situations are different, yes. But what you can do is the same as what I was able to do. It is so freeing and wonderful to say that I am once again proud of who I am and what I am and how I got to where I am. Especially after, as I said in my post above, feeling as though I had hit an emotional bottom.

It's the same old tune man, you've heard it a thousand times over in this thread:

-Go to the gym.
-Get in shape if you aren't.
-Adjust to a healthier diet (you'd be amazed at how this affects your mental outlook).
-Pride yourself in your work if you do work and strive to do the best you can. If you're in school, the same can be applied here. Working hard and seeing the success is wonderful.
-Work on your outer image, buy yourself some new clothes. You'll feel good, and get tons of compliments.

I can list those off with absolute confidence because I have done every single one of those that I have listed above and it is, again, what made it possible for me to be okay and then even better than okay. My confidence and sense of self is back to where it used to be, and honestly even better.

Working on yourself is the absolute most important thing you can be doing right now, and great things will start happening to you once you do. Trust me.

I don't like to post in this thread anymore but......

Thanks for the advice, but none of those things is going to change me. These set rules you guys have is not for everybody. Some people will do the things listed in the OP, or what you just listed, and end up more frustrated because not a damn thing has changed for them. Yes i need to work on myself, but not in those ways.

People follow these rules to a T when i don't think they have to.

Hey at least you've got it out of your system now, seems like you really learned a thing from the experience, and can now begin making yourself better, seems to me that's a good step forward.

Yes. Yes it is.

 

[Minamu]

People follow these rules to a T when i don't think they have to.

And some people need to stop being disrespectful and at least TRY the advice given to them before dismissing everything as "not for them" and then go back to being miserable. If you find yourself frustrated over not getting women because you work out then you are doing everything for the wrong reasons...

 

[I'm an expert]

We both spent £700 each on the holiday and then more money on clothes etc for it as well.

Meh, that's nothing. Just eat the cost and save the headache. Sounds more like you're hoping some weird drunken situation happens so you can win her back for a night or two. I can't hate on that. Just make sure you prepare for that not happening as well.

 

[zethren]

I don't like to post in this thread anymore but......

Thanks for the advice, but none of those things is going to change me. These set rules you guys have is not for everybody. Some people will do the things listed in the OP, or what you just listed, and end up more frustrated because not a damn thing has changed for them. Yes i need to work on myself, but not in those ways.

People follow these rules to a T when i don't think they have to.

I'm not here to force you to do anything, only to encourage upon you what I have personally done and found successful. What I listed are very basic things that you can do to simply enhance the overall quality of your life and self image. The last time I did these things I found an incredible girl who stuck with me for 6 years. Shit happens, and the relationship is over which lead to an emotional rut, but I didn't let it defeat me for long and and once again I'm back to where I was and better.

I can only speak from experience, but I understand that not everything works for everyone. But honestly, it's some pretty basic stuff so I think you would benefit from at least giving it a shot.

Best of luck to you man in whatever you choose for yourself. I'm glad that at least you're taking a "live and learn" approach to your situation.

 

[KevinCow]

I'm seriously struggling to figure out this Gamestop girl.

When I talk to her in person, she seems friendly and bubbly and happy to see me. But it's been really hard to communicate with her outside of seeing her when she's working.

Yesterday, I suggested we play some Borderlands when she gets off work. She said yes, she'd definitely be online, and sounded excited about it. But then I stayed up until 2 and she never got on. And I can't figure out if she wss just really tired after work (which I would totally understand), or if she was trying to give me a hint.

I guess I'll give her some space for now - but she hasn't outright rejected me or asked me to leave her alone, so I'm not quite giving up yet. I've given her my number and told her to give me a call or text when she's not so swamped with work so I don't have to keep asking when she's gonna be free, and I'll catch her online if I see her... but I think that's about all I can do for now. Probably best to avoid the Gamestop for a while, too.

 

[goodfella]

I'm seriously struggling to figure out this Gamestop girl.

When I talk to her in person, she seems friendly and bubbly and happy to see me. But it's been really hard to communicate with her outside of seeing her when she's working.

Yesterday, I suggested we play some Borderlands when she gets off work. She said yes, she'd definitely be online, and sounded excited about it. But then I stayed up until 2 and she never got on. And I can't figure out if she wss just really tired after work (which I would totally understand), or if she was trying to give me a hint.

I guess I'll give her some space for now - but she hasn't outright rejected me or asked me to leave her alone, so I'm not quite giving up yet. I've given her my number and told her to give me a call or text when she's not so swamped with work so I don't have to keep asking when she's gonna be free, and I'll catch her online if I see her... but I think that's about all I can do for now. Probably best to avoid the Gamestop for a while, too.

Maybe it would have been better to ask her out than to arrange an online gaming session.

 

[Vermillion]

Drunk and bold, I walked up to a girl and told her she was cute at a party. Told me she had a boyfriend. Bad luck, whatever. But her friend started to introduce herself to me.

Then the cops came.

Life of Joker™.

 

[UFRA]

Drunk and bold, I walked up to a girl and told her she was cute at a party. Told me she had a boyfriend. Bad luck, whatever. But her friend started to introduce herself to me.

Then the cops came.

Life of Joker™.

No means no, dude!

 

[Vermillion]

No means no, dude!

...What? What are you saying?

 

[Devolution]

I'm seriously struggling to figure out this Gamestop girl.

When I talk to her in person, she seems friendly and bubbly and happy to see me. But it's been really hard to communicate with her outside of seeing her when she's working.

Yesterday, I suggested we play some Borderlands when she gets off work. She said yes, she'd definitely be online, and sounded excited about it. But then I stayed up until 2 and she never got on. And I can't figure out if she wss just really tired after work (which I would totally understand), or if she was trying to give me a hint.

I guess I'll give her some space for now - but she hasn't outright rejected me or asked me to leave her alone, so I'm not quite giving up yet. I've given her my number and told her to give me a call or text when she's not so swamped with work so I don't have to keep asking when she's gonna be free, and I'll catch her online if I see her... but I think that's about all I can do for now. Probably best to avoid the Gamestop for a while, too.

You have her gamertag? Just invite her to game with you whenever.

 

[RionaaM]

This is tough love, but no, it's not as hard as it seems at all. That's usually just an excuse not to try harder, honestly. As for not getting a girl interested, that's because of the self-loathing, not the other way around. It's an endless circle, yes, but it can be broken by attempting to break it in the right place, which is yourself. You can get girls by not being self-loathing, but you can't stop being self-loathing by getting girls. It might feel that way but then you're just fooling yourself. And this IS possible for anyone that at least doesn't have serious mental issues that require medicine etc. That kind of thing must be fixed first, then our advice will work for those people too. Anything else is just excuses again. Not being able to go to the gym because of school is probably crap too, a gym session shouldn't last more than two hours, including taking a shower etc. So that's about 6 hours per week. It'll also have a positive effect on your mental health and capacity to work and think so school will be easier if you keep it up. If you have time to argue on GAF, you have the time to visit the gym, it's as simple as that. You can argue with that as much as you want, but you'll only be hurting yourself. As for clubbing, go alone anyway. If you don't, you're again making poor excuses for yourself. You're probably not even that shy, you've just been sold on the concept of shyness. And you're reinforcing the stereotype by telling yourself that you are shy. That's not helping.

I've been down in that depression swamp as well. That's why I keep giving this advice, because it worked great for me and many others, and I'm no longer down in that swamp. Considering you're aware of all the advice given here, you must realize that it's only your own head that keeps you down there, and you give in to those thoughts. Your mind wants you down there, and you let it control you. You can't blame your brain for this, only yourself for letting you be dominated like that. Getting out is actually easier than most believe, and it's only as hard as you want it to be. It is possible to snap out of it like a light switch, but most people don't believe that's true and would argue with me on it, and that's why it keeps being false for most. Granted, I needed my own reality shattering event to snap out of it all and it seems that these are truths you have to realize on your own terms in many cases. Sometimes it's not something you can accept simply by reading about it. I think this thread has proven that many times over by now, unfortunately.

Saying this in here usually makes me feel like the devil's advocate, but I'm very pro creating my own reality. And it always starts with cutting out the shit you usually say, like I'm shy and an introvert, I can't laid because I'm too ugly and fat or whatever. When you say such things to yourself, either verbally, in text or even just in your head, that's the life you will create and live. I used to be as introverted as the next guy but I decided this wasn't true, and thus it wasn't anymore. You gain absolutely nothing positive by reinforcing your beliefs about being shy. But you gain so much by changing that into something more positive like "I'm always confident, courageous and extroverted". Also convince yourself that your self-esteem hole is just a pothole, or better yet, isn't there at all. If you believe that, it will be true.

You're a wise man. I don't know if I'll be able to do that, to get out of this state of mind, but trying to is the only thing left to do. I wish I could, but every passing day it gets worse. I'll see if I can sign up for the gym one of these days. And as for clubbing alone, I still don't think I could do that.

 

[SMT]

I'm seriously struggling to figure out this Gamestop girl.

When I talk to her in person, she seems friendly and bubbly and happy to see me. But it's been really hard to communicate with her outside of seeing her when she's working.

Yesterday, I suggested we play some Borderlands when she gets off work. She said yes, she'd definitely be online, and sounded excited about it. But then I stayed up until 2 and she never got on. And I can't figure out if she wss just really tired after work (which I would totally understand), or if she was trying to give me a hint.

I guess I'll give her some space for now - but she hasn't outright rejected me or asked me to leave her alone, so I'm not quite giving up yet. I've given her my number and told her to give me a call or text when she's not so swamped with work so I don't have to keep asking when she's gonna be free, and I'll catch her online if I see her... but I think that's about all I can do for now. Probably best to avoid the Gamestop for a while, too.

She sensed your attraction meter explode, cut all communications with her and see what happens.

 

[thestopsign]

I went to a mixer party last night and was playing pong with one of my buddies and he goes over to get a beer and brings back a girl and she starts playing with me but tells me she doesn't want to drink. I was mildly drunk at the time, so I assumed that meant she wasn't that into me or something (it made sense to me last night haha). I joke around with her a bit, but after a game of pong we parted.

My friend comes up to me later and asks me what happened with her, and I was confused. Apparently she came up to him and asked if she could play with me because she thought I was good looking *Facepalm* haha. She was really attractive too. Much more attractive than the girl I'm about to talk about.

I cut my losses and ended up at a different party. A girl I knew from last year came up and started dancing with me. I thought she was a complete bitch last year (she still is!), but I didn't really care at the time because I was drunk. I ended up taking her back to my room (I'm a virgin still may I remind you), and she told me no sex, which I was fine with. We did everything but sex, but I never got off. She gave me a hand job, and really I'm not sure if she was just bad at it or what, but that didn't work, it actually hurt kind of. After I got her off she tried to give me head, but again it didn't feel like anything (she wasn't using her tongue at all I think). It may have been the alcohol, but I was pretty sober by the time she left. I always kind of imagined blow jobs feeling instantly good and was basically worried about the typical stereotype of too fast, but that wasn't even a problem.

I don't really regret it besides for being a little awkward. I learned I need better pillow talk (my game was basically non-existent once I got in my room with her), I learned how to pleasure a girl a bit even if I wasn't the best at it, and I got a bit of confidence. Just need a bit of refining/better choice of girl if possible. If you all have any advice, it would be appreciated, especially for the foreplay banter or what was going on with me/her.

Edit: I'm really starting to realize that girls find me really attractive, it's just my game is completely lacking.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I'm seriously struggling to figure out this Gamestop girl.

When I talk to her in person, she seems friendly and bubbly and happy to see me. But it's been really hard to communicate with her outside of seeing her when she's working.

Yesterday, I suggested we play some Borderlands when she gets off work. She said yes, she'd definitely be online, and sounded excited about it. But then I stayed up until 2 and she never got on. And I can't figure out if she wss just really tired after work (which I would totally understand), or if she was trying to give me a hint.

I guess I'll give her some space for now - but she hasn't outright rejected me or asked me to leave her alone, so I'm not quite giving up yet. I've given her my number and told her to give me a call or text when she's not so swamped with work so I don't have to keep asking when she's gonna be free, and I'll catch her online if I see her... but I think that's about all I can do for now. Probably best to avoid the Gamestop for a while, too.

She's supposed to give you her number, dude.

This is reminding me of Butters and the girl from Raisins.

 

[kidtamagotchi]

This might be kind of long...

I am a 31 year old guy who's only ever had one date (it was a pity date from my perspective). I am confident (but not overtly so), I know who I am, and I am not ashamed to be a virgin. People say I am shy, but I don't think I am. I don't like being the center of attention.

So I'm currently in my first semester of community college, and there are all these girls constantly staring at me. I don't know what to do. I have to assume these girls are like 18, 19 years old. They are very attractive but I'm just not going to chance it. It's not fair, where were these girls when I was that age?

I want to have a romantic relationship someday, but I hate going on dates. I feel like getting to know the girl for a while first is best, then we can go on dates. I don't feel comfortable flirting either (I did it once, and it was great because it was funny things we were saying). I just don't know what to do.

 

[SlipperySlope]

This might be kind of long...

I am a 31 year old guy who's only ever had one date (it was a pity date from my perspective). I am confident (but not overtly so), I know who I am, and I am not ashamed to be a virgin. People say I am shy, but I don't think I am. I don't like being the center of attention.

So I'm currently in my first semester of community college, and there are all these girls constantly staring at me. I don't know what to do. I have to assume these girls are like 18, 19 years old. They are very attractive but I'm just not going to chance it. It's not fair, where were these girls when I was that age?

I want to have a romantic relationship someday, but I hate going on dates. I feel like getting to know the girl for a while first is best, then we can go on dates. I don't feel comfortable flirting either (I did it once, and it was great because it was funny things we were saying). I just don't know what to do.

If my math is right, they were around 5-7 years old.

 

[kidtamagotchi]

If my math is right, they were around 5-7 years old.

Lol, not what I meant! I mean where were the 18-19 year old girls checking me out when I was that age (they were non-existent)?

 

[DreD]

So I went to a bar with three acquaintances last night and boy was it a wild night! I'm not used to this, so I just feel like sharing how it all went down. I didn't get any action (two of my friends did), but I think could have if I wanted to (on more than one occasion even)...

We started the night by just chatting up with random girls. About half way through, we started dancing and just hanging out with this group of girls. I'm usually reluctant to dance, but since I've started my swing lessons, it's like i'm way more comfortable with myself and I guess it showed. Anyway, this really nice looking blonde went up to me and told me I was hot, and so I replied to her she was also very nice to look at. The thing is, my friend was hitting on her the whole night and she seemed to respond positively to his advances. Still, I think she might have been more into me than him (or maybe she was just fooling around, trying to put some pressure on my buddy), but I'll never know... I didn't try anything on her and my friend successfully ended up sleeping with her later.

Anyway, at the end of the night, as we were leaving the bar, we meet some new girls and I don't really know how it all worked out, but they joined us as we went back to my friend's place. As soon as I got in, this really smokin brunette comes to me, push me to the wall, put her hand under my sweater and starts to kiss me. I barely knew her or even talked to her before, so it really took me off guard. I didn't slep with her (she was really drunk, didn't felt right to me), we spent a couple minutes just cudling and joking around, just having fun. She gave me her number and I've texted her today, but I'm not sure what to make of this...

The thing is, she told me she felt guilt for being bitchy with my friends (I don't remember that being the case, but I don't think they'd mind either way) and that, unfortunately, she didn't really remember much of the night. She also told me she doesn't usually act like that or get as wasted... I kinda see this as a red flag (flaky vibe), but still... she told me I was a real gentleman just after I told her not to worry so much about what happenned, that we all had a lot of fun and ejoyed ourselves. Then we texted on and off, just asking each other questions about ourselves (I didn't want to ask too much though, I don't enjoy doing that via text messages). Maybe an hour ago, I told her good night and said I'd be nice if we could meet up again sometime. She just replied with "Yea, good night". I'm not sure what I should do now. I kinda want to ask her out properly, but my schedule is kinda packed for next week... However, I feel like if I wait too long, I'll lose any momentum I might have there. What's also cool is that she's exactly my age (27). It's a nice change of pace compared to the younger chicks (22-24) I usually meet.

 

[SMT]

Lol, not what I meant! I mean where were the 18-19 year old girls checking me out when I was that age (they were non-existent)?

Girls like older guys from my experience, but you gotta be pretty. They automatically assume you're experienced, and rock solid.

 

[abuC]

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion I won't be getting married, not even sure if I'll ever have kids either. The long term relationship I was in ended and I thought she could be the one to have kids with, but that didn't happen. It's also left me in a place where I just don't feel like investing time getting to know anyone on a deep level. I don't have trouble meeting or talking to women, my problem is finding the type of woman I want to spend time with, I am very picky and would rather just be alone than wasting time getting to know someone I won't really like in the end.


I've accepted the possible outcome, but still, kind of sucks that I'm now getting hit with the questions about grandkids, especially since I'm the last of my kind, the last name dies with me if I don't have a son.

 

[snoopen]

Do you guys think mixed team sports are good to meet new people? One of my female friends invited me to join their team, i'm not too interested in her, but one of her friends who I am interested in is playing in the team.. it's touch rugby. I'm happy to play, only problem is, is that it's a 30-40 min drive after work once a week.. worth it?

 

[Gucci Messiah]

Do you guys think mixed team sports are good to meet new people? One of my female friends invited me to join their team, i'm not too interested in her, but one of her friends who I am interested in is playing in the team.. it's touch rugby. I'm happy to play, only problem is, is that it's a 30-40 min drive after work once a week.. worth it?

I'd go, seems like a good way to meet new people and make friends.

 

[zethren]

Crushin' hard, GAF.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion I won't be getting married, not even sure if I'll ever have kids either. The long term relationship I was in ended and I thought she could be the one to have kids with, but that didn't happen. It's also left me in a place where I just don't feel like investing time getting to know anyone on a deep level. I don't have trouble meeting or talking to women, my problem is finding the type of woman I want to spend time with, I am very picky and would rather just be alone than wasting time getting to know someone I won't really like in the end.


I've accepted the possible outcome, but still, kind of sucks that I'm now getting hit with the questions about grandkids, especially since I'm the last of my kind, the last name dies with me if I don't have a son.

It's never too late. As a guy your age range for children are longer, so you never know. Not sure how much stock you put in your "line" and the proliferation of your last name, but you could always adopt and become a single dad.

 

[Cubsfan23]

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion I won't be getting married, not even sure if I'll ever have kids either. The long term relationship I was in ended and I thought she could be the one to have kids with, but that didn't happen. It's also left me in a place where I just don't feel like investing time getting to know anyone on a deep level. I don't have trouble meeting or talking to women, my problem is finding the type of woman I want to spend time with, I am very picky and would rather just be alone than wasting time getting to know someone I won't really like in the end.


I've accepted the possible outcome, but still, kind of sucks that I'm now getting hit with the questions about grandkids, especially since I'm the last of my kind, the last name dies with me if I don't have a son.

don't fall into the trap of thinking you're a loser because you're not married or have kids


There are PLENTY of married people who would trade places with you. Trust me.

 

[Tex117]

So my holiday (If I can really call it that now) with my ex (that broke up with me less than a month ago) is next week and I'm really starting to dread it now. We both agreed that since we spent a lot of money on it that we would go and try and at least attempt to be civil.

Fact is, I'm pretty sure she already has another boyfriend already, one who when she was with me last month, was one of her best friend's boyfriend for the last 7 months that she was living with and she seemingly hated because he was being an asshole to her friend. I know this speaks volumes for the type of girl this woman is and I would never get back with her although i'd be lying if I said my feelings hadn't gone.

Truth is, it kind of kills me everytime I think about this and depresses me immensely. I really want to cut of all ties with her after this holiday, I know blocking her on facebook etc will be good for me because I still look and it just makes things worse however seeing as I directly work with her every day, at most times alone too, I think its best to be civil until I leave my current job.

On the other hand, I've decided to hand in my notice where I work when I come back from holiday, the job was nothing special anyway and I've considered going to university (something i've always wanted to do) and seeing as i'm 25 now, I consider it would be better to do it now seeing as I have no ties.

Not to sure why i'm writing this, guess it helps a little seeing as i'm pretty depressed at the moment, I know its for the best and I dodge a bullet not being with this woman anymore but I can't help feeling shitty. I'm also worried what I might say or do on this holiday with her, especially when drunk.

Effin ouch. Just do what you do. Drink...alot.

Good for you about attending university though. Good Luck!

 

[mooooose]

Broke up with my ex four months ago, and it was messy. She moved on super fast with a new guy and we talked far too much afterwards still and I was/am hung up on her, and want her back badly, but today, I decided, I really want a new fucking girlfriend.

I really want to date again. I miss having a girlfriend to hang out with.

Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to any girls that I can and report back whatever happens. I do not fear anything.

 

[Tex117]

Broke up with my ex four months ago, and it was messy. She moved on super fast with a new guy and we talked far too much afterwards still and I was/am hung up on her, and want her back badly, but today, I decided, I really want a new fucking girlfriend.

I really want to date again. I miss having a girlfriend to hang out with.

Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to any girls that I can and report back whatever happens. I do not fear anything.

Or maybe you should just focus on yourself here.

Just a thought.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Finally broke the ice with this cutie in class I had been eyeing for a while. She came off as standoffish so I decided to just holla at her for the hell of it, and turns out she reciprocated with a big smile and started talking my ear off. Didn't ask for her number since we're in the same class and we're good students. Definitely gonna up the flirting and advance on this.

 

[mooooose]

Or maybe you should just focus on yourself here.

Just a thought.

I have a shit ton and I realized she isn't coming back and I will probably always want her to, and hopefully I can meet somebody who will help me move on. I'm not tired of being alone, I'm tired of not having someone special in my life to share my life with.

 

[Cubsfan23]

use yourself to help you move on.....you don't need to rely on others

 

[Gvaz]

I have a shit ton and I realized she isn't coming back and I will probably always want her to, and hopefully I can meet somebody who will help me move on. I'm not tired of being alone, I'm tired of not having someone special in my life to share my life with.

That's not what he meant. He meant be overall happy being alone with yourself.

I've been doing some dating since my gf of 5 years broke up with me, and it's only now, almost 10+ months later am I becoming comfortable with being by myself. With being my own person, that doesn't have someone else they rely on to talk to, to fuck, to cuddle with, who will be home when you get home.

Eventually, it gets to the point where being by yourself is alright. You'll always miss the person, but it doesn't hurt as bad.

 

[mooooose]

I'm fine alone now. I just miss her as a person. I'm surprisingly fine and can't even remember what having someone there feels like, but I miss it. I miss the intimacy, but I don't need it anymore.

When I say help me move on, I mean to say, my ex was my first love and I need to accept that she won't be my last, and searching for someone new and finding someone I like will help in that.

 

[zethren]

Which I think is just fine.

It's natural to want companionship. That's just who we are.

As long as you are okay after the break up, okay with who you are and where you are in life. As long as you are okay being yourself, by yourself. It's a learning period, I found. And skipping out on it wouldn't be wise.

 

[MTE]

I'm fine alone now. I just miss her as a person. I'm surprisingly fine and can't even remember what having someone there feels like, but I miss it. I miss the intimacy, but I don't need it anymore.

When I say help me move on, I mean to say, my ex was my first love and I need to accept that she won't be my last, and searching for someone new and finding someone I like will help in that.

While I wouldn't say love, as I'm not talking proper relationship, just infatuation; This is where I am at the moment. I have an outlier in my dataset. I want to know that it's not an error.

 

[CrazedProfessional]

Don't you guys hate those girls who are willing to go on a few dates then later tell you they only went out with you to get a few drinks at a bar for chivalry's sake.

So what do I do, say no next time a when a lady interest asks if I can get her a drink?

 

[zethren]

Don't you guys hate those girls who are willing to go on a few dates then later tell you they only went out with you to get a few drinks at a bar for chivalry's sake.

So what do I do, say no next time a when a lady interest asks if I can get her a drink?

Channel your inner EviLore and grab dat ass.

But really, that's just the kind of thing that happens. If you can sense it coming you can prevent it and refuse the drink, but you don't want to mess something up with someone who might actually be worthwhile just out of paranoia.

It's quite the song and dance.

 

[CrazedProfessional]

It's quite the song and dance.

I don't like this song.

 

[zethren]

I don't like this song.

How do you feel about the dance?

 

[CrazedProfessional]

How do you feel about the dance?

Eh it's fine I guess, maybe.

 

[Meatfist]

I was at a party this weekend, and introduced myself to this girl that walked in. First thing that came out of her mouth was "How old are you? You look twelve!"

Ouch. Wish I could grow a beard or something.

 

[zethren]

I was at a party this weekend, and introduced myself to this girl that walked in. First thing that came out of her mouth was "How old are you? You look twelve!"

Ouch. Wish I could grow a beard or something.

How long is your hair?

Are you capable of growing a beard of any length whatsoever?

How do you dress?

 

[Log4Girlz]

I was at a party this weekend, and introduced myself to this girl that walked in. First thing that came out of her mouth was "How old are you? You look twelve!"

Ouch. Wish I could grow a beard or something.

I would have quipped "no of course not, how insulting. I'm 13

 

[undrtakr900]

Don't you guys hate those girls who are willing to go on a few dates then later tell you they only went out with you to get a few drinks at a bar for chivalry's sake.

So what do I do, say no next time a when a lady interest asks if I can get her a drink?

How did the dates go? Were they just friendly hanging out or did it get flirty/intimate with kissing, etc.

eDIt: I'm guessing if you went on several dates you would've been able to deduce her demeanor towards you?

 

[Meatfist]

How long is your hair?

Are you capable of growing a beard of any length whatsoever?

How do you dress?

Long-ish, not quite shoulder length but it's not too bad since it's wavy. I'd love to wear it short but I have skin problems on my ears/sideburns.

Zero beardage whatsoever. A solid month of no shaving is a light mustache, at best.

I dress alright, a usual night for me is a solid tee/button-up, Levi 511's and boat shoes.

I mean the young looking shtick worked alright for me in high school, but now that I'm in college it gets annoying that I get comments almost all the time about it

 

[zethren]

Yeah, the longer hair is likely attributing to a younger look. Maybe try styling it differently at least.

Try just letting your facial hair grow then. Trim it to keep it looking uniform as it grows, but otherwise just let it grow. Eventually you'll likely have something that you can maintain and trim.

Clothes sound fine. Solid tees are better than graphic tees, typically. Try layering, now that Fall is here. Wear a classy watch maybe, to further emphasize sophistication.

Otherwise maybe you just have a young looking facial structure? . But how you present yourself (as in your personality) could also be adding to the illusion of youth. I don't know your personality so that's hard to judge.

 

[Jhoan]

I have a shit ton and I realized she isn't coming back and I will probably always want her to, and hopefully I can meet somebody who will help me move on. I'm not tired of being alone, I'm tired of not having someone special in my life to share my life with.

Wait hold up a second. Didn't you go on a date to see a concert with a girl on Saturday? If so how did it go? We were asking you about that in the meet up thread so I'm hoping you can shed some more light on that. I don't mean to call you out on that. I think it might be one of the reasons why you're saying this.

Interestingly enough, you sound a lot like -PXG- did after he broke up with his girlfriend about a year ago. Not in a bad way per se, but in the sense that you think you need to jump into another relationship to fill in a void. I would say enjoy being single, take it slow and get into another relationship when you're ready, not so you won't feel alone. Either way, they both sound the same to me; loneliness and "that special someone" go hand in hand.

I don't have much to report on my end other than making small talk with a woman at the Bursar's office at my school by asking her if she lost her ID too. We then continued the conversation at the ID office while we were waiting for replacement ID's. She told wished me good luck; no number came out of it because I wasn't out for it but the chemistry was good.

I also talked another girl in one of my classes. It was canceled so it was an easy conversation starter. I let her go as she told me she was going to hang around the hallway so I went to the library to study. She's attractive to say the least. My only problem was I kept talking about the context of class/school. I forgot to ask her the key thing people ask each other all the time: How was their weekend?

Lastly, this past Saturday at the GAF meet up, after number47 opened a group of attractive girls at a bar, I jumped in, made some conversation with the girls. Didn't feel nervous at all; no high heart rate or nothing. We would end up going downstairs to dance/grind with some women. Nothing really came of it but it sure was fun. The ladies were dancing pretty damn well; I was impressed.

I'll pass on the tips that number47 gave us at the meet up on how to talk to women at bars. Introduce yourself to the woman (or women). Comment on something that's going on, and if a guy is in the group, proceed to talk to the dude first in order for him to warm to you before talking to the girls. Do not be intimidated by the fact that she goes to an Ivy League college; the chick is there to have fun, not talk about life in an elite college (well she would, but not about the master thesis that she's working on).

When you're dancing, don't be afraid to have fun and let loose; women love guys who look like they're having fun. Lastly, there's absolutely nothing to lose, but so a lot to gain; namely confidence. Number47 explained this so much better than I did. He also made all of this look super easy.