Dating App GAF: Anything that makes you quickly "swipe left" on somebody?

Sold 12 copies gave away over 200 LOL, which was fine to me, it was just a very tongue in cheek project.
Oh and it was burrowed a few times on Amazon.
 
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InfiniteCombo said:
I've done pretty well in my dating life. Attractive, smart women, blah blah blah. But ultimately they all had some sort fatal flaw that was a major deal breaker, which is why I'm still not married.

Anyway when browsing through dating apps and going through the dozens of lame profiles, there are some criteria I use to personally filter some women out very quickly:

- Obviously if they aren't attractive to me. They don't have to be runway models but there are some basics -- no whales, no busted ass faces, etc. All that bullshit about "oh it's only the beauty on the inside that counts"... Anyone deluding themselves with that is in for a rough awakening
- If I see pictures of them doing performative protest stuff (which apparently is popular in my city)
- If I see certain words or phrases:
"Social justice" (this is an immediate, "don't even bother looking at the rest of the profile" disqualifier)
"Patriarchy"
"Feminist"
... and any words or phrases of that ilk
- If every picture is a giant group picture where I can't even tell who the hell the one chick is, because they all look like generic pharmacy blondes 😂
- Obviously fake profiles -- usually plastic/almost anime looking Asian chicks. Have no idea why that's even a thing, but it's prominent in a couple of apps

There are some other minor annoying things (like the prominent use of the word "adulting") but they're not deal breakers.

For those of you who use dating apps - what things make you immediately disqualify a candidate?

EDIT: to state the obvious -- mods, if this topic is inappropriate for discussion, feel free to shut the thread down.
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So, you are into transwomen?
 
InfiniteCombo said:
Oh I'm having a great time.

Now... Do you have any actual contributions to make to the thread?


...
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Sure. From what you wrote, it sounds like it's possible you prefer to be alone, and are just having trouble either seeing that or admitting it to yourself. Because we're all "flawed," and you're always finding a "fatal flaw" in the other person.

But you're having a great time, you said, so that's good, right?
 
InfiniteCombo said:
My good man, you're gonna have to give us a breakdown of just what the fuck is going on in this profile 😂
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Mrs. Goodface offers specialty services in exchange for candy. She's the opposite of the pedo van guy. The lip glaze cums from decades of face creaming. They do the same process with chefs and donuts.
 
People will probably disagree here. But I came upon a profile, womans beautiful, but she used a term that I despise. "looking for an alpha male" Rolls eyes. my definition of an alpha male is alot different than the stupid acting smuck these con artist have taught men to behave like. I feel a real man doesn't have to keep women interested by faking it, by acting like someone they are not, by insulting them to build attraction etc. If her definition is that definition I'm not that guy.
 
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Using flowery/nice/polite descriptors like "full figured" or "a little extra" or "curvy." No, lady, that means you're straight up fat -- and in many cases, actually obese.

Remember that in these good United States of America, in the dating apps even self-described "average" women can be on the slightly fat side.

So for body types, I only go for "average" and below (thin/fit/etc). If they're above average (full figured/a little extra/curvy/obese) I swipe left immediately.
 
haxan7 said:
Send her an unsolicited dick pic. That always gives the ladies the horn.
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Absolutely. Nothing telegraphs class and elegance like a good Dick Pic. Might I recommend:


200923-richard-nixon-ap-773.jpg
 
Maybe shouldn't have complained here about getting matched with my sisters friends, today I got matched with my own first cousin. The hell :( Site hates me.
 
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Okay. So I popped on Hinge and the latest trend seems to be women REALLY wanting guys to be in therapy. 😂 like 5 to 10 % of them. Holding signs, long prompt answers about this and that and being 'vulnerable'. I mean therapy is good for some people and if it worked for you honey great, but I'm just happy af in my life and if that's your 'ask', that's a hard no.

Hbo Therapy GIF by SuccessionHBO
 
Jaybe said:
Okay. So I popped on Hinge and the latest trend seems to be women REALLY wanting guys to be in therapy. 😂 like 5 to 10 % of them. Holding signs, long prompt answers about this and that and being 'vulnerable'. I mean therapy is good for some people and if it worked for you honey great, but I'm just happy af in my life and if that's your 'ask', that's a hard no.

Hbo Therapy GIF by SuccessionHBO
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No shit.

 
I hate dating and I hate dating apps but damn if I don't miss chicks. Was talking to one on Facebook dating and I asked what her living situation was and busted out with my fiancee. I was like what the fuck and she goes yeah but he doesnt give me much attention he's not funny or compassionate like you. I told her yeah I dont think its a great idea to talk anymore. Im not into drama.
 
Elginer said:
I hate dating and I hate dating apps but damn if I don't miss chicks. Was talking to one on Facebook dating and I asked what her living situation was and busted out with my fiancee. I was like what the fuck and she goes yeah but he doesnt give me much attention he's not funny or compassionate like you. I told her yeah I dont think its a great idea to talk anymore. Im not into drama.
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I assumed "bored housewife" was just a porn trope. Dating apps really did show that women can be just as shitty as men while at the same time playing the victim.

I fucked them anyway because that's all they wanted and were discrete and also didn't require constant texts or dates. They came to my place, got dick, went away and as long as you kept them in your contact list 9 times out of 10 sometime in the future they would hit you up out of the blue for some more dick and go away again.

Women like that either want their cake and eat it or are monkey branching. Not relationship material at all.
 
nush said:
I assumed "bored housewife" was just a porn trope. Dating apps really did show that women can be just as shitty as men while at the same time playing the victim.

I fucked them anyway because that's all they wanted and were discrete and also didn't require constant texts or dates. They came to my place, got dick, went away and as long as you kept them in your contact list 9 times out of 10 sometime in the future they would hit you up out of the blue for some more dick and go away again.

Women like that either want their cake and eat it or are monkey branching. Not relationship material at all.
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Think in that situation you've gotta be the bigger man and not fuck em. Report them to they're husband. I'd hate to be the husband getting fucked over when for all you know he could be a decent bloke.
 
Dontkidyourselfjimmy said:
Think in that situation you've gotta be the bigger man and not fuck em. Report them to they're husband. I'd hate to be the husband getting fucked over when for all you know he could be a decent bloke.
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I'm not the relationship police, and getting laid feels better than smug moral superiority. Real talk, online dating hookups, she's just going to move onto the next guy anyway without a second thought if I rejected her becuse of her relationship status. Like I said, they are discrete and are just looking for drama free dick. "Reporting" them to their husband which would be impossible with just a single name on the dating app would be impossible and the antithesis of discrete.
 
nush said:
I'm not the relationship police, and getting laid feels better than smug moral superiority. Real talk, online dating hookups, she's just going to move onto the next guy anyway without a second thought if I rejected her becuse of her relationship status. Like I said, they are discrete and are just looking for drama free dick. "Reporting" them to their husband which would be impossible with just a single name on the dating app would be impossible and the antithesis of discrete.
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It's not smug moral superiority to not want to be a part of fucking over some potentially innocent dude and family.
 
Dontkidyourselfjimmy said:
It's not smug moral superiority to not want to be a part of fucking over some potentially innocent dude and family.
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Dating apps, she's just going to fuck some other guy in her DM's anyway. Also I'm discrete and am not going to be blowing up her phone or trying to start a relationship with her becuse if she's cheating on one guy she'll cheat with me anyway.

Sorry bro, your girl's a hoe.
 
Dontkidyourselfjimmy said:
It's not smug moral superiority to not want to be a part of fucking over some potentially innocent dude and family.
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nush said:
Dating apps, she's just going to fuck some other guy in her DM's anyway. Also I'm discrete and am not going to be blowing up her phone or trying to start a relationship with her becuse if she's cheating on one guy she'll cheat with me anyway.

Sorry bro, your girl's a hoe.
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I agree with both of you. A great example of the difference between idealism and practicality.
 
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From my experience reading this thread, and in my life experience in general, I gather that I am not a particularly attractive person. And, unfortunately, I live in the Midwest and prefer girls who weigh less than me. These factors lead to my "swipe right" pool to be incredibly shallow and my "singleness" to be at an all-time high.
 
-Putting sarcasm like it's a quality.
-Danger hair.
-Looking for their partner in crime.
-Have kids.
-Look shallow.

Just off the top of my head.
 
Jaybe said:
Okay. So I popped on Hinge and the latest trend seems to be women REALLY wanting guys to be in therapy. 😂 like 5 to 10 % of them. Holding signs, long prompt answers about this and that and being 'vulnerable'. I mean therapy is good for some people and if it worked for you honey great, but I'm just happy af in my life and if that's your 'ask', that's a hard no.

Hbo Therapy GIF by SuccessionHBO
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Women saying they want men in tune with their feelings, while actually wanting a badass, is as old as time.

But therapy as a prerequisite to getting in a relationship? Wtf?
 
Jaybe said:
Okay. So I popped on Hinge and the latest trend seems to be women REALLY wanting guys to be in therapy. 😂 like 5 to 10 % of them. Holding signs, long prompt answers about this and that and being 'vulnerable'. I mean therapy is good for some people and if it worked for you honey great, but I'm just happy af in my life and if that's your 'ask', that's a hard no.

Hbo Therapy GIF by SuccessionHBO
Click to expand...
I was in a serious relationship with this woman a couple of years ago. When we started having serious problems, even before trying to talk them out and resolve them as, you know, two grown ass adults should (and as adults have been doing since the beginning of time), her immediate go to was... therapy.

She went even further than that and said that if we wanted to go further into the relationship (we were pretty serious so she had thrown the idea of marriage around), that therapy/counseling was a required prerequisite. When she said that, I said OK, then said:

giphy.webp


I can maybe (and that's a weak maybe) understand if you've been married for several years and the marriage is hitting a dangerously low point, and you're trying to save the marriage for both of your sakes, and your children's sakes, etc.

But yeah, when you're still in the dating phase, when everything is supposed to be good and you're not jaded yet? Therapy at THAT point? Nah, fuck that. It tells me your conflict resolution skills are weak AF.
 
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