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FakeGAF Episode 5: The Thirst Awakens
- Thread starter WhereAreMahDragonz
- Start date
- Status
12 and change
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Okay, story time.
Comic Creator Connection is a speed dating for writers/artists event that happens at all the major CCI cons. It may branch out to others as it is not affiliated directly with CCI.
I always get a few gems among the sea of otherwise nice people that I meet.
Girl Werewolf Hamlet nets me the most mileage. It's the classic story of Hamlet who is now a girl and a werewolf.
Here are some of the winners.
Turtle Man
Remember that episode of Mad Men where Don was looking through the portfolio of a potential employee and every single photo was taken straight out of a magazine? Now sub in turtles for the photos. This guy just drew turtles. And no ninja turtles were to be found. There was even a turtle with Bruce Willis as its shell. So I pitch him my superhero anthology, and this was his response:
"Yeah. I can do that. Say you have two turtles fighting. A good turtle and a bad turtle. And the good turtle hits the bad turtle into the moon - which is also a turtle."
The Scholar
So I start pitching GWH. It's going well. But then:
"Wait wait wait.... Hamlet is a girl."
"Yes. The title is literal."
"Okay, so Hamlet's entire character is inaction, right?"
"Well we can debate Shakespeare all night, but I'd like to finish my pitch."
He gives me a scoff and a snide look like I'm just a piece of gum on his shoe.
"No, Hamlet is emo. He can't decide. He always changes his mind. He's inattentive to others, he is hostile, he never accepts responsibility. And you want to compound that by a thousand by making it a female?"
Ladies, this is a man you want to fuck.
Boobie Lover
I pitch him GWH. He tells me he knows nothing about Shakespeare. I go into how now Hamlet is a girl and a werewolf.
"I'm in!"
"Really? What changed your mind?"
"Two things. She's got boobs and she's dangerous."
He then proceeds to use the rest of our time talking to the writer in one of the empty spots about basketball.
Humanity's Last Bastion of Hope
Pitching GWH. I have brought 20 one-sheets explaining the project as well as how we'd use Kickstarter if we decided to work together. I really wanted to try crowdfunding.
"Excuse me, what's this Kickstarter bit about?"
"Oh, so, I'm sorry, I thought I was clear from the beginning that 'd like to try crowdfunding for a project. I don't expect you to do any work before any possible - "
"Why the fuck do you think I'd want to get paid?"
"Well, there's no money right now, and - "
"Look, dude. I am an artist. I wake up every morning and just am happy to do my art. Nobody pays me. I just do it."
"So do I. But - "
"Look. You either do your art for money or you do it for yourself. I have a fire inside of me that never goes out. I feed it with life. Look around this room, do you honestly mean to tell me that any of these people expect to get paid from this?"
It wasn't just that he was mad at money, he seems to be mad at me. Personally. Like he was deeply offended that I wanted to pay him for his work.
He didn't even shake my hand upon leaving.
Sword Man
So I'm lucky(?) enough to be in an empty slot next to another guy in an empty slot. So this girl after the guy I'm next to is pitching her story to an artist. It's a historical western. Halfway through her pitch, this guy just fucking leans over and says to her "give her a sword". They both ignore this the best they can. But then she is stuck at an empty spot with only me and Sword Man to keep her company.
"I think giving her a sword would work."
"Um, excuse me, it's a historical piece. It's historical fiction."
"So was The Social Network."
She looks at me ever so briefly with a "wtf" look.
"That isn't even in the same period or context."
He tried to plead his case. We move on. Now both he and the girl have artists to talk to.
"Okay, so my story is about a girl. She has a sword and she just opens guys up. You know, just right up. I'm sick and tired of seeing no female representation in comics or television. I think it's time. It's time for women in media. I'm a male, yes, but that does not mean that I don't feel."
The artist asks what kind of message he wants the piece to send.
"That women can fucking kill fuckers. Just as much as guys can. The sword also lets her lovers know that if they cheat on her, she will kill them. I think it is important to show that she is capable of love."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Guys omg
Comic Creator Connection is a speed dating for writers/artists event that happens at all the major CCI cons. It may branch out to others as it is not affiliated directly with CCI.
I always get a few gems among the sea of otherwise nice people that I meet.
Girl Werewolf Hamlet nets me the most mileage. It's the classic story of Hamlet who is now a girl and a werewolf.
Here are some of the winners.
Turtle Man
Remember that episode of Mad Men where Don was looking through the portfolio of a potential employee and every single photo was taken straight out of a magazine? Now sub in turtles for the photos. This guy just drew turtles. And no ninja turtles were to be found. There was even a turtle with Bruce Willis as its shell. So I pitch him my superhero anthology, and this was his response:
"Yeah. I can do that. Say you have two turtles fighting. A good turtle and a bad turtle. And the good turtle hits the bad turtle into the moon - which is also a turtle."
The Scholar
So I start pitching GWH. It's going well. But then:
"Wait wait wait.... Hamlet is a girl."
"Yes. The title is literal."
"Okay, so Hamlet's entire character is inaction, right?"
"Well we can debate Shakespeare all night, but I'd like to finish my pitch."
He gives me a scoff and a snide look like I'm just a piece of gum on his shoe.
"No, Hamlet is emo. He can't decide. He always changes his mind. He's inattentive to others, he is hostile, he never accepts responsibility. And you want to compound that by a thousand by making it a female?"
Ladies, this is a man you want to fuck.
Boobie Lover
I pitch him GWH. He tells me he knows nothing about Shakespeare. I go into how now Hamlet is a girl and a werewolf.
"I'm in!"
"Really? What changed your mind?"
"Two things. She's got boobs and she's dangerous."
He then proceeds to use the rest of our time talking to the writer in one of the empty spots about basketball.
Humanity's Last Bastion of Hope
Pitching GWH. I have brought 20 one-sheets explaining the project as well as how we'd use Kickstarter if we decided to work together. I really wanted to try crowdfunding.
"Excuse me, what's this Kickstarter bit about?"
"Oh, so, I'm sorry, I thought I was clear from the beginning that 'd like to try crowdfunding for a project. I don't expect you to do any work before any possible - "
"Why the fuck do you think I'd want to get paid?"
"Well, there's no money right now, and - "
"Look, dude. I am an artist. I wake up every morning and just am happy to do my art. Nobody pays me. I just do it."
"So do I. But - "
"Look. You either do your art for money or you do it for yourself. I have a fire inside of me that never goes out. I feed it with life. Look around this room, do you honestly mean to tell me that any of these people expect to get paid from this?"
It wasn't just that he was mad at money, he seems to be mad at me. Personally. Like he was deeply offended that I wanted to pay him for his work.
He didn't even shake my hand upon leaving.
Sword Man
So I'm lucky(?) enough to be in an empty slot next to another guy in an empty slot. So this girl after the guy I'm next to is pitching her story to an artist. It's a historical western. Halfway through her pitch, this guy just fucking leans over and says to her "give her a sword". They both ignore this the best they can. But then she is stuck at an empty spot with only me and Sword Man to keep her company.
"I think giving her a sword would work."
"Um, excuse me, it's a historical piece. It's historical fiction."
"So was The Social Network."
She looks at me ever so briefly with a "wtf" look.
"That isn't even in the same period or context."
He tried to plead his case. We move on. Now both he and the girl have artists to talk to.
"Okay, so my story is about a girl. She has a sword and she just opens guys up. You know, just right up. I'm sick and tired of seeing no female representation in comics or television. I think it's time. It's time for women in media. I'm a male, yes, but that does not mean that I don't feel."
The artist asks what kind of message he wants the piece to send.
"That women can fucking kill fuckers. Just as much as guys can. The sword also lets her lovers know that if they cheat on her, she will kill them. I think it is important to show that she is capable of love."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Guys omg
I remember when I would mix Vanessa with Michelle Branch all the time for no reason really.
You Know Nothing
Member
You should make an Off Topic thread on this subject and see what course it takes. (Don't do this.)
Nomadic Sparks
Banned
Who is Wollan?
You Know Nothing
Member
You Know Nothing
Member
More proof that Nintendo is trash.
Caving into a bunch of dedicated no life misogynists.
Caving into a bunch of dedicated no life misogynists.
I was reading up on that. How did gamergate go from the dumb name for a weird ass argument to a physical entity? Are people just mass-targeting certain people of the gaming community (I'm gonna guess that the targets are primarily women) and destroying them for no reason?
Edit: okay I'm caught up.
I hope someone picks her up fast. don't know how many companies would be willing to basically declare war on gamergate though
I hope someone picks her up fast. don't know how many companies would be willing to basically declare war on gamergate though
They seem more likely to attempt to drag down the entire industry with them than admit that they were wrong should the industry turn on them.
This panel never gets old.
Speaking of which it's time to go back to my old avatar.
as it stands their goal seems to be to drag down the entire industry.
Halcyon
Member
Mine is like the Neverending Story right now.
I'm a horse slowly drowning in a muddy pit while a young boy tries to yank me out.
You Know Nothing
Member
liliththepale
Banned
dude, phrasing
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Sex drive? What's that hahahahahaha
*Dies underneath a pile of work while sleep deprived*
*Dies underneath a pile of work while sleep deprived*
They'll succeed if everyone backs down as easily as Nintendo.
I think I used to have one. And then I got old and shit.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Hey. Pee Wee Herman set a precedent.
No. Whenever people do this I notice and it gets on my nerves because it just looks like you have something on your face. Just go outside and stand in the sun for a bit.
Ceallach
Smells like fresh rosebuds
Yes. Sounds like it could be really cute as long as you don't go overboard.
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
Yo do I want to sleep or have Emily time
Halcyon
Member
Is Emily time code for masturbation.
You Know Nothing
Member
How sybaritic is this Emily time you speak of?
Ceallach
Smells like fresh rosebuds
Emily time for sure.
I've already used the Scott Pilgrim panel once today. Can't over-do the joke.
I'm too lazy to make the Emily time photoshop. Dragonz, shop yourself onto this for me
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Your avatar still creeps me out dude
It's like it's not quite real, not quite fake, and the in-betweenness leaves it outside the uncanny valley as well
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK
You Know Nothing
Member
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Does Emily Time equal stuff you really want to do or are doing out of boredom?
go outside?
I was thinking of using dark brown eyeliner since that's similar to its normal color anyway
but my hair hides it most of the time unfortunately.
#me
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
Sun damage builds character.
You Know Nothing
Member
Do it then take a nap after. #TeamHedonism
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Sounds like she'll need to.
liliththepale
Banned
WhereAreMahDragonz
Banned
True
- Status