So the story goes like this... I'm a completely stereotypical 24 year old, overweight, pale, self hating, neck beard living at home with mum. One day I decide to start moving more, eat less, and do something about my depression... Fast forward to December 2014 and I'm looking good, feeling great, and moving into a place in the city with a close friend. Bring on 2015
January 2015 was a hell of a month for me. I'd had a little attention from girls before, two girls even made out with me a few months prior (My first kiss!) But it was always while I was blind drunk, and I'd always disappear from the club and head homebcause I had no self confidence. But January last year it all changed. Maybe my confidence hit a tipping point, maybe the gym was finally paying off... But girls looked at me differently now.
The first weekend out in January I end up hooking up with a very friendly 22 year old by doing nothing more than sitting at their table thinking it was empty while her and her friends were getting drinks.
I was finally a man.
This girl did the world of good for me and my sexual confidence... For 2 weeks we were at it non stop.
Suddenly, a girl I had a crush on for ages starts showing me attention, we hook up, it was awesome. 14 months later we share a house, a savings account, and the future looks good.
The future also looks like I'll have 2 sexual partners for the rest of my life, while my partner has ~20. Should love conquer the strange feeling that I'm missing out on something? Cause sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I struggle with it. The most stupid things can trigger that feeling, and the feeling is strong.
I love this girl, at least I think I do... It's my first relationship of any kind. We get along great mostly. Our sex life is awesome. I feel like she can energize me, when normally I have to be alone to recharge, we're excited about travelling, my family loves her...
But still the feeling lingers.
Jealousy... regret... How the fuck do I move forward?
