Tomorrow's a new day. Use it as a learning experience and try again tomorrow. You know what NOT to do now.
Yeah, thanks. I just need to open my mouth and start talking... such a damn shame to, because she was so nice. I'm such a fool.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
- Start date
- Status
Yeah, thanks. I just need to open my mouth and start talking... such a damn shame to, because she was so nice. I'm such a fool.
Not at all! You and your girlfriend are about to share a very intimate and momentous occasion. Of course you're going to be nervous.
I was never anyone's first (thank goodness) so I don't think I can be too much of a help. For the first time I actually think you should ask in the girlgaf advises guygaf thread. What I do know is that each girl has a different experience breaking their hymen. Some will feel a lot of pain, some won't, some may have already broke theirs through normal activity (not the case for you). If you guys are going to be each other's first then be sure to use lube and be gentle with her. Communicate. Also, a quick google search led me here.
Congrats on the sex by the way!
Yeah! A success story for the last (?) page. Went to a pre-party where there were around 100 people attending and the girl who started my self improvement journey was there but we didn't speak. Later, at the real party, I run into the girlfriend of a friend of mine and she has a pretty cute class mate with her. Didn't really pay her any attention at all at first but we found each other on the dance floor and she was digging it a lot I've lived here for 1,5 years and I've never seen her before. Apart from asking her name, saying "So you think you can dance?" and telling her I've been thinking of buying a necklace just like hers, not much was said. No pickup lines, just having some fun being care free, and she asks me if she can come home with me It took 14 days for that new year's resolution to come true.
A success story for the last (?) page. Went to a pre-party where there were around 100 people attending and the girl who started my self improvement journey was there but we didn't speak. Later, at the real party, I run into the girlfriend of a friend of mine and she has a pretty cute class mate with her. Didn't really pay her any attention at all at first but we found each other on the dance floor and she was digging it a lot I've lived here for 1,5 years and I've never seen her before. Apart from asking her name, saying "So you think you can dance?" and telling her I've been thinking of buying a necklace just like hers, not much was said. No pickup lines, just having some fun being care free, and she asks me if she can come home with me It took 14 days for that new year's resolution to come true.My pelvic bone is *really* sore today
Ketchup Boy
Junior Member
Is it okay to ask an ex if they can hook you up with a girl in their dance group?
Like my ex is in a dance group and there are a lot of attractive girls and right now, I don't have any contacts and I'm pretty sure she feels sorry for me because she's the one that dumped me. Should I go for it? This was like 7 months ago when she broke up with me, btw and she's already cooled down and had a bf. You don't think she'd mind right.
Like my ex is in a dance group and there are a lot of attractive girls and right now, I don't have any contacts and I'm pretty sure she feels sorry for me because she's the one that dumped me. Should I go for it? This was like 7 months ago when she broke up with me, btw and she's already cooled down and had a bf. You don't think she'd mind right.
I failed hard last night.
I was in a club, sitting next to a really nice French girl and she was looking at me but my mouth wouldn't open, what the fuck is wrong with me?
The thing that was mainly preventing me was that she was sitting next to this other guy, and she kept on touching him but only in a friendly way. I think he might have been gay, but I wasn't sure. I didn't even find out.
No confidence, man. After my last big relationship
At least you were actually in a club. I didn't even have energy for a bar last night.
That all depends on how your friendship works. If everything is good between you, I don't see the problem. In fact, she may even like the idea of being your wingman. But as with all things in life, you never know.
Don't ask her for shit. Talk to the other ladies in the dance group and do your thing. Don't worry too much about what she may think or what she might do.
She dumped you? Don't ask just do it.
Aika'svyse
Banned
ugh i have oneitis
One of the worst things that can happen to a man. I had it for a couple months last year. Glad I've shaken it off and I can now see that girl for what she really is, instead of the perfect fabrication that my mind made up of her.ugh i have oneitis
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
I think I need a break of actively looking for girls to date or get involved with, etc.. I'm just totally burnt out. I'm still hung up over a girl from 2010 yet I know the best way to move on is to meet the next.. But right now, over this Xmas period, its just been a wirlwind. Talking to a few girls here and there and as soon as I get talking to a girl, she either gets involved with someone else and loses interest (wooo, dating websites) or I get cold feet myself and just think... noooo this isn't what I'm looking for.
Burn out is definitely a possibility in my opinion, for want of a better term, I simply can't be assed with this right now. Problem is I'm 28 and I'd rather to meet someone sooner rather than later :/
Burn out is definitely a possibility in my opinion, for want of a better term, I simply can't be assed with this right now. Problem is I'm 28 and I'd rather to meet someone sooner rather than later :/
Keep the focus on improving yourself and your social skills (in the numerous ways we always suggest in this thread) and you're bound to meet women on this journey. If you place the imperative on meeting women and getting a GF, you're bound to be disappointed and/or settle for the first girl that comes your way.
This method works for me: I stopped worrying about going to bars and clubs to meet women. I shifted the focus to just making sure I had fun with my friends and whoever I happened to meet or talk to that night. I found I had more success this way. (Probably because I didn't reek of desperation and/or make myself nervous as a result of that.) If I didn't get some girl's number one night, at least I had fun.
Pull this method out further and apply it to your life. Keep trying to improve yourself, to have a great time with yourself (alone) and with your friends. If you stay busy, you'll meet a lot of new people. The entire time you'll be improving yourself and having fun, and you'll naturally come across people.
If you subtract the focus from self-improvement and get tunnel vision on meeting/dating girls, you're going to end up frustrated because you're putting artificial barriers to success/gratification up in your mind: I have to meet a woman this year, I have to do this because I'm X years old. Meeting women and learning about them naturally involves learning through failure, and if you don't allow yourself room for it, you're going to come away defeated. Just like I came home upset with myself when I set out on nights at the bar with one goal of meeting women and getting X numbers that night. I wasn't having any fun until I changed that mindset.
Hope this method helps you out, BoR.
ConradCervantes
Banned
Going to the bar tomorrow and hopefully some mournful Packer fans of the female persuasion will allow me to cheer them up.
Blargh(((((
Blargh
(((((I nominate this advice to be in the OP for the next thread.
If you guys want me to do the OP, please PM me some suggestions for content. I'm happy to put it together for y'all, but I'm very biasedopinionated and I want the OP to reflect a variety of viewpoints.
I'm also going to reserve 5 posts (6 total) so please don't post in it right away.
I'll also be lifting content liberally from this OP since PXG et al. did a great job compiling information.
I'm also going to reserve 5 posts (6 total) so please don't post in it right away.
I'll also be lifting content liberally from this OP since PXG et al. did a great job compiling information.
Attackthebase
Member
I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job. I would like for you to put The Game in the OP. I really think it should be read by people who are aiming to increase their social skills around women. It helped me and my friend a lot.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
Hypereides
Member
Guys. Seriously guys.... please dont ever be "that guy".
I was out yesterday, got a full name & number from this cute girl.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She was talking to this aquaintance of mine (demoted from being a friend). Most of the people I know in my social circle dislike him because he gives the impression of being creepy, perverse, stalkerish and unsocial (Hes the guy I previously mentioned some pages back useing "the game" with minimal succes).
So he was like talking to this short, young, dark haired, glasses-wearing, skater beauty for like a half hour, making mean physical contact on her back & shoulder, talking about trivial subjects and not making any serious progress.
I Ignored her most of the evening, with only small remarks like giving her small compliments ('you're awesome' to her long board + asking her for a cigarette and just said 'thanks'). While keeping myself occupied on the dance floor and talking with my friends, having some laughs. She seemed disinterested.
She came up to me and another friend asking how much the beer costs. That was it.
Later on got down from the dancefloor after a silly dance session of LMFAO's Im Sexy And I Know It. I sat down casually right next to her.
Next thing I know she grabs my arm starts asking me about my tattoo (I had rolled up sleeves).
She introduces herself, tells me about her job as a tattoo artist, books and art. Shes leaving for Thailand in about a week. Within 5 minutes she writes her full name and cell number on my arm.
Suddenly. IMMEDIATELY the creepy bro asks for her number right after me in a kind of desperate manner.
He simoltaneously cockblocked me and pissed me off because he was so eager to prove a point that he didnt waste his time. Which he did.
Behaviour like that displays bitterness, weakness and jealousy to others accomplishments.
Whats even more ghastly is how he tried to negotiate her like a piece of meat, later that night saying "you can have her if you want". Fucking condescending. Both to me and to her.
I regret ever introducing him to my friends.
EDIT: Also, got those rings back from the flakey girl. I changed my mind. They'll play a pawn in a plan Ive been thinking about.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway was out with a girl tonight at her place, watched Inglorious Basterds, made out. She was resisting the urge to have sex. But didnt want to do it on her first date. She was very sweet and polite. Shes innocent. I dunno if I should.
I was out yesterday, got a full name & number from this cute girl.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She was talking to this aquaintance of mine (demoted from being a friend). Most of the people I know in my social circle dislike him because he gives the impression of being creepy, perverse, stalkerish and unsocial (Hes the guy I previously mentioned some pages back useing "the game" with minimal succes).
So he was like talking to this short, young, dark haired, glasses-wearing, skater beauty for like a half hour, making mean physical contact on her back & shoulder, talking about trivial subjects and not making any serious progress.
I Ignored her most of the evening, with only small remarks like giving her small compliments ('you're awesome' to her long board + asking her for a cigarette and just said 'thanks'). While keeping myself occupied on the dance floor and talking with my friends, having some laughs. She seemed disinterested.
She came up to me and another friend asking how much the beer costs. That was it.
Later on got down from the dancefloor after a silly dance session of LMFAO's Im Sexy And I Know It. I sat down casually right next to her.
Next thing I know she grabs my arm starts asking me about my tattoo (I had rolled up sleeves).
She introduces herself, tells me about her job as a tattoo artist, books and art. Shes leaving for Thailand in about a week. Within 5 minutes she writes her full name and cell number on my arm.
Suddenly. IMMEDIATELY the creepy bro asks for her number right after me in a kind of desperate manner.
He simoltaneously cockblocked me and pissed me off because he was so eager to prove a point that he didnt waste his time. Which he did.
Behaviour like that displays bitterness, weakness and jealousy to others accomplishments.
Whats even more ghastly is how he tried to negotiate her like a piece of meat, later that night saying "you can have her if you want". Fucking condescending. Both to me and to her.
I regret ever introducing him to my friends.
EDIT: Also, got those rings back from the flakey girl. I changed my mind. They'll play a pawn in a plan Ive been thinking about.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway was out with a girl tonight at her place, watched Inglorious Basterds, made out. She was resisting the urge to have sex. But didnt want to do it on her first date. She was very sweet and polite. Shes innocent. I dunno if I should.
SpectreFire
Member
I would like to veto this and any PUA bullshit that's suggested. It's only going to make people who lack social skills be more creepy and offputting to women.
luckyboyceo
Member
Count me on board for those who think Soultron should do the OT. Seems like a perfect choice.
As this thread comes to a close, just wanted to say I've enjoyed the journey with all of you thus far. I'm thankful that everyone in this thread has been willing to share their stories so that we can all help each other out.
It's been fun getting to know you guys and I'm looking forward to OT3.
As this thread comes to a close, just wanted to say I've enjoyed the journey with all of you thus far. I'm thankful that everyone in this thread has been willing to share their stories so that we can all help each other out.
It's been fun getting to know you guys and I'm looking forward to OT3.
Sanky Panky
Banned
What did she do?
I have to disagree. Lots of PUA stuff is helpful for just getting guys to get out there. The Game is insightful along with being an entertaining read. If you read that book and got nothing but PUA tactics like "the cube" out of it then you're doing it wrong.
Soultron is probably one of (if not the most) active in this thread so I'm okay with him doing the OT3.
No, it doesn't. The girl was single and available and was talking to both of you, you were both just as entitled to get her number as each other. You seem to be implying there's an unwritten rule that the guy who gets the number first gets the girl. I've actually pulled girls off of guys on the dancefloor. Until the girl is in your house it's all fair game.
If your game was strong enough the girl would have blown the other guy off because she was only interested in you. It's easy to blame others.
Attackthebase
Member
The Game is an autobiography of a man who didn't know how to flirt much, but enter a journey to acquire more confident around women and succeed around them; it's not a manual of how to pick-up. The book is inspirational, if nothing else, for men who are having a hard time communicating with women.
Like Space said, the decision lies with Soul, and I'll go with anything he decides.
Not going into details yet, but let's just say... I'm making a huge mistake.
There are so many red flags with this girl I'm seeing now, I could probably make a coat out of them. And yet I'm letting my other head do the thinking for now. This is going to bite me in the ass real real soon.
There are so many red flags with this girl I'm seeing now, I could probably make a coat out of them. And yet I'm letting my other head do the thinking for now. This is going to bite me in the ass real real soon.
Hypereides
Member
I disagree. Especially if its someone you know.
Seems you would allow an alledged wingman to make a prick move, and thats fair I guess. He got all the time he needed, he had been sitting there in awkward silence with her for some time before I sat down next to her.
If it had been some random guy... that critique would've be fair. I wouldve admitted defeat.
After the bar closed down, I ran into her outside the enterance. Talked with her for a mere minute, untill the creepy dude came lurking outside... then she had to leave. True story.
He invites himself. Besides that I try to offer him advice, since he hasnt been very succesfull. He flat out denies anything I try to offer on helping his character.
But Trust me Mr.City, you cant go as wrong as this guy...
Thanks a lot man. I may take it over to the girlgaf advice thread. I haven't had sex quite yet.. lol
alexthekid
Member
If you are going to bring up some kind of bro-code you should at least have lived by it yourself. If a friend of you is trying with a girl(doesn't matter how bad he is failing). You get her number(not because of him, i know) and then you don't think he can continue because of some bro-code? If you brought here to a party or something and was first I can understand but him simply continuing trying? It seems to be an older issue between you and him, there are plenty of fish in the sea, if your completely incompetent friend tries his game with someone, let her be or don't come and talk about bro-code.
Hypereides
Member
Actually I did. I saw what he was going for and I tried to wingman him. In fact I distanced myself from her. I wanted him to succeed. I gave him every leverage he could get. Several times I tried my best to turn her attention away to him.
But when a pretty girl starts talking to you its not like Im going to start pretending to be a mute. Its just natural for me to talk to people.
Shouldve been more specific.
So I've been hanging out with this girl on and off since September. I think we had a pretty good initial attraction. But I think she got gradually turned off from my lack of dating experience and failure to make a move. I last hungout w/ her on NYE.
I called her about a week ago (didn't leave a message) and she never returned my call. What's the rule of thumb regarding phone game w/out looking like a creeper?
I live ~6 hrs away from her, but I travel to her city for business like once a month and her family lives in my town.
I'm going to be in her City at the beginning of February. Would it be fair to give her another call to see if she wanted to hangout when I'm in town, without looking desperate?
(and yes, I'm ready to move on if this doesn't work(working on a couple prospects, but this girl is definitely worth a little pursuit.))
I called her about a week ago (didn't leave a message) and she never returned my call. What's the rule of thumb regarding phone game w/out looking like a creeper?
I live ~6 hrs away from her, but I travel to her city for business like once a month and her family lives in my town.
I'm going to be in her City at the beginning of February. Would it be fair to give her another call to see if she wanted to hangout when I'm in town, without looking desperate?
(and yes, I'm ready to move on if this doesn't work(working on a couple prospects, but this girl is definitely worth a little pursuit.))
Awesome. I love stories!
Should have already made the move bro. This is like 5 months later and you haven't made an advance on her. She has probably moved on or as gaf would say. "She found new dick.".
Give her another call when you're coming to town and this time leave a voice mail or follow up text. After that wait for her to contact you back. If she doesn't then move on. Good luck!
Boozeroony
Member
Seconded. Spill the beans when the time is right.
I'm sure you guys will get rewarded with a story of my stupidity soon enough.
ConradCervantes
Banned
Hopefully after you bail out of that shit. Red flags are usually not worth investigating, just get the fuck out.
Oddly,he sounds like a great wingman, making you look better and less desperate.
PLUS I don't get how everyone didn't read that she gave you her number. You didn't ask for it.
Hypereides
Member
Who says I didnt want it? And more so Im pretty sure Ive known the guy long enough to know if he's wingman material or not.
Thanks for the advice. This is pretty much what I intended to do, I just wanted some friendly confirmation.
Hopefully it works out and I'm able to escalate the relationship. If not, I think I'm ready to move on. Either way, I should be able to get some closure out of the ordeal.
Hurry up, you have 5 posts left to turn OT3 into something positive instead ^^
Sweet. Can't wait to hear it in OT3.
Attackthebase
Member
Well, it has been about 14 months, actually
I can't believe the drastically improved change in myself compared to 14 months ago. So much experience involving dating, improving myself, bettering my social life, and high academic progress astounds myself. I only see myself improving this year too. This thread has been amazing, met two good friends (CFfighter, and Ryaaan14) through this dating-gaf.
It's funny because I was actually starting to get somewhere when the first thread was around.
I'll have to ensure this year is a good'un.
Edit: Oh snap, 20,000th post!
- Status