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LGBThread |OT3| Friends of Dorothy!
- Thread starter Sai-kun
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RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
How was the pic?
Oh, thanks. Wait, bear? <3
Congrats! Seems that you have more experience in that than me, and I'm older.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Well, I've know two of them for 6 years and other for 2 years so it wasn't really that hard to have serious talks with them.
He's a pretty big dude.
Naked Snake
Member
Small dilemma:
I've been chatting with a guy Scruff (a gay dating app) for a while, today I check his Facebook and see that we have 3 mutual "friends".
Him: "How do you know person X?"
Me: "We used to go to the same gym."
Him: "He's one of my best friends."
Me: "Interesting"
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Umm, nothing really. It's just something people say."
Silence while I contemplate how to navigate this, because I know his friend is gay, but I don't want to "out him" to this guy in case he didn't know. So I ask:
Me: "Are you out to him?"
Him: "No no. I'm out to no one."
Me: "So much for best friends
"
What do I do? Should I just ignore it? Or help these two old friends to know that they are both gay? I'm pretty sure they'd both be happier to learn the truth, but I'm not sure how to go about it without violating anyone's privacy.
I've been chatting with a guy Scruff (a gay dating app) for a while, today I check his Facebook and see that we have 3 mutual "friends".
Him: "How do you know person X?"
Me: "We used to go to the same gym."
Him: "He's one of my best friends."
Me: "Interesting"
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Umm, nothing really. It's just something people say."
Silence while I contemplate how to navigate this, because I know his friend is gay, but I don't want to "out him" to this guy in case he didn't know. So I ask:
Me: "Are you out to him?"
Him: "No no. I'm out to no one."
Me: "So much for best friends
"What do I do? Should I just ignore it? Or help these two old friends to know that they are both gay? I'm pretty sure they'd both be happier to learn the truth, but I'm not sure how to go about it without violating anyone's privacy.
Fimbulvetr
Member
Small dilemma:
I've been chatting with a guy Scruff (a gay dating app) for a while, today I check his Facebook and see that we have 3 mutual "friends".
Him: "How do you know person X?"
Me: "We used to go to the same gym."
Him: "He's one of my best friends."
Me: "Interesting"
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Umm, nothing really. It's just something people say."
Silence while I contemplate how to navigate this, because I know his friend is gay, but I don't want to "out him" to this guy in case he didn't know. So I ask:
Me: "Are you out to him?"
Him: "No no. I'm out to no one."
Me: "So much for best friends
What do I do? Should I just ignore it? Or help these two old friends to know that they are both gay? I'm pretty sure they'd both be happier to learn the truth, but I'm not sure how to go about it without violating anyone's privacy.
Invite them both somewhere, then suggest a threesome.
But seriously, if they are besties then the best case scenario is you convincing one of them to come out to the other on his own. That said, there isn't a solution to this (outside of doing nothing) that won't seem like you're meddling.
Same here. The last few guy pics do nothing for me.
*hugs*
Cool. I'm glad it went ok
I've taken to watching TeenNick's 90s shows at night due to my usual channel just marathoning Christmas movies. Three observations:
- For a Nickelodeon channel, it's extremely LGBT-friendly. Lots of anti-homophobia PSAs, Trevor helpline commercials, representation in promotional material, etc. Very nice to see.
- Man, Hey Arnold had a depressing atmosphere.
- I hate these Degrassi commercials. Not because Degrassi is an obnoxious show; because there's an actor in them who is adorable. ...And 17. Why must my heart be played with?
wow Snake, the situations you get into...
I'm out to no one, so I know that feel. I would try to see who's more comfortable being out, and then tell the other one about it. Scruff guy might be uncomfortable with it (couldn't hurt to ask, though). How "out" is the other guy?
Good thing for you
. I couldn't even think about going on and telling even my closest friends, even tough I'm few years older than you. You brave, brave man.Naked Snake
Member
wow Snake, the situations you get into...
I'm out to no one, so I know that feel. I would try to see who's more comfortable being out, and then tell the other one about it. Scruff guy might be uncomfortable with it (couldn't hurt to ask, though). How "out" is the other guy?
I don't think the other guy is out at all either (or his friend would have known/suspected I think), but I think I found a solution to this:
As long as Scruff guy doesn't ask his friend about me or bring up the fact that we know each other (which I don't think he will, in order to not raise questions about himself), then I can ask the other guy "What if I told you that one of your friends is gay, but neither of you know about the other. Would you let me tell him that you are gay? That way he can come out to you himself afterwards."
If he accepts, then I don't violate anyone's privacy without their consent. If he refuses then things stay the way they are.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
If these guys are going to be closeted and also active in the dating world, then there are inevitable situations like this where someone may find out -- but that's for them to deal with, not you. It's not your place to be outing anyone to anyone, so leave things alone.
Naked Snake
Member
But I could be doing them a big favor by helping them know about each other; it could significantly enhance and strengthen their existing friendship. And as I pointed out in my following post, I will let them decide if they want to do it without violating anyone's privacy.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
It's still encroaching on their personal boundaries and privacy. If they want to come out to the other person, they will do it when they're ready. Bringing it up with some "What if I told you..." scenario is the equivalent of a six-year-old tugging on your sleeve and giddily teasing "I've got a seeeecret!"
If you want to encourage Person A to come out to Person B, that's a perfectly acceptable thing to do. But to incite curiosity and potential conflict by stirring up a sexuality guessing game in their minds is meddling and inappropriate, period.
If you want to encourage Person A to come out to Person B, that's a perfectly acceptable thing to do. But to incite curiosity and potential conflict by stirring up a sexuality guessing game in their minds is meddling and inappropriate, period.
Honestly, if it was me, I'd be happy just knowing that one of my best friends was gay, and it'd make me want to get to know them better. I'd even go as far as to let the person in common tell them about me, even though, like him, I'm out to no one. *More like, especially when you're out to no one. It can be pretty lonely.
I'd like to hear more opinions, though.
Maybe try your best not to tease, like Cosmic Bus said.
I'd like to hear more opinions, though.
Maybe try your best not to tease, like Cosmic Bus said.
Naked Snake
Member
I share your feelings too (although I'm out to all my friends). It just feels like the right thing to do, in my heart. The option of "non of my business" looks selfish to me.
I won't rush before I make my decision. It still depend on whether I continue talking this or not, and whether my convection on this changes or not.
Site crashed before I could click post.
...To add to what I said earlier; I was just thinking, it was naive of me to just assume that the person in question was trustworthy and responsible enough to entrust with the other's secret (which is a pretty big deal to a closeted person). It could end up ruining someone's life if they're the thoughtless, irresponsible, or untrustworthy type. Just keep that in mind.
I know, I'm not much help ._.;
...To add to what I said earlier; I was just thinking, it was naive of me to just assume that the person in question was trustworthy and responsible enough to entrust with the other's secret (which is a pretty big deal to a closeted person). It could end up ruining someone's life if they're the thoughtless, irresponsible, or untrustworthy type. Just keep that in mind.
I know, I'm not much help ._.;
Naked Snake
Member
I believe both of them are very closeted, careful and discreet about it. I think they went to the same school and are childhood friends. I would think both of them would be very responsible with handling the info. They'll care about the other's privacy in this matter as much as they care about their own.
Still, maybe interfering is not the best option :/. In a perfect world everything would go well, but the other one might feel a bit violated if you go and spill his secret to someone else, even if they are both gay.
Also a bit OT, but I'm already having a crush for NakedSnake's beard :>>. So perfect.
Naked Snake
Member
I'm thankfully that a lot of hot guys share your opinion. I am pulling so much ass because of the beard, haha.
Well, can't blame them <3.
I'm just right now a tad depressed about how things are flowing in my country. One of the most popular politician right now is very anti-gay (he was some months ago in France protesting against same-sex marriage), and he might become the prime minister in few years. Gotta get ready to move out x).
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Henchmen21
Banned
You realize that if these were filmed back in the 90's than the actor is no longer 17 right?
It's a terrible game that runs like crap on all platforms, and it's putting GAF on its knees. It's amusing seeing both sides' defense forces, though. Even posters that are usually perfectly reasonable are in true console warrior mode right now.
I'm very blunt and apathetic in real life (think April Ludgate). I guess there are some moments that it shows online. I really was sad when he died though. Especially for his boyfriend.
I've never seen that movie.
Hey LGBT-GAF, I want to ask for a little bit of advice, what is the best way to inquire about someone's sexuality? Basically, the co-worker I once mentioned I had a crush on, well, I want to know if there is at least a possibility for something to happen between me and him, I'm still 99.9% sure he's straight but I don't know, I feel like he might have a little bicuriosity in him, I don't know why but it's just a gut feeling I have, and I'm sensing a little chemistry forming between us 2, since we're both new at the job and have a lot of common interests and he's also new to the city and has no friends here, I feel this is a great opportunity but I might be getting my hopes up for nothing, I'm just really into him jasjaklsjalsjakls. I wish I could be with him somehow.
Does he know you're gay? I feel like if he's openly gay and you mentioned that you were that probably would elicit an, "Oh, me too" kind of response.
Hiding the birth of a black, Muslim president and now allowing gays to marry. You better be glad you have nice beaches, Hawaii. Nice! That puts it up to 16 or so, eh?
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
are there even any gays in hawaii
I know right, falling for straight people is like the bane of every gay person's existence, is not the fact he might be straight that attracts me but more that he has a lot of the qualities I find attractive and he's also as cute as a button (to me at least) I guess I could ask but I don't want to be so direct as it would creep him out and make things awkward between us, I guess I will have to steer the conversation to get to that point.
He doesn't, I'm not very public about my orientation so most people don't know unless they ask, in which I case I tell them I am. What I know about him from a facebook creeping session though is that he's atheist so I'd assume he's at the very least not hostile to homosexuality, is a huge assumption I know but it might be the case here I hope.
Hot beach gays.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
do they have grass skirts and big muscles?
...Degrassi is still running. Yes, he's still 17.
They're commercials. I'm not actually watching it, hence it's not part of the 90s block.
Actually my neighbors have had 2 kids in two years since we've moved in. If anything the gays make heterosexual marriages better!
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
When I google image search "gay hawaii" I get this:
VPL!
Also, those people don't look as Hawaiian as I imagined. :/
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