Not me. It actually weirds me out that so many people don't require any actual reciprocity before falling for someone.
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LGBThread |OT3| Friends of Dorothy!
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You do realize this probably means being alone forever right? very best case scenario, you severely limit your chances.
I do agree that when I find out a guy is straight it's kind of a turn off, but if I waited for reciprocity I'd keep waiting my whole life
.Aarglefarg
Member
He had a lisp and everything.
VICTORsaurio
Member
I went out for a jog with the guy I'm "dating". It was fun because it's something I probably wouldn't ever do by myself. Now I want to keep on doing it so I can get better and eventually catch up to him and also get in better shape.
Eh. I think it becomes pretty clear when you actually have a chance, when there's mutual interest even if slightly. I mean, a guy being straight should be an automatic no anyway. Huge doses of fantasy and wishful thinking are big factors in these "straight crushes" IMO.You do realize this probably means being alone forever right? very best case scenario, you severely limit your chances.
I do agree that when I find out a guy is straight it's kind of a turn off, but if I waited for reciprocity I'd keep waiting my whole life
He had a lisp and everything.
Did he have gay face?
If Gaydars were actually reliable you would be right.
You're not going to figure it out just by first impressions, especially if they're reserved people who don't open up until a little while later. People have different ideas of what constitutes interest and if you just try to gauge them using your standards, you're liable to miss out on a lot of opportunities.
I, for example am an extremely introverted and icy bastard whose few moments of autonomous sociability are indications that I A) Think they're very cool people that merit socializing with or (B|A)) want to get in someone's pants/arms. I don't treat people I'm attracted to differently from other people either.
I know three such people that fit into the latter group right now.
Obviously they're all taken.(Not that I should be having a relationship right now either way)
Wait, whaaa?
Aarglefarg
Member
I'd say a Kinsey 4 face.
Ask?
Ask?
If you're afraid to ask, assume he's straight and move on. Alternatively, obsess over him, which is a bit creepy and it'd make him ultra uncomfortable if he ever finds out
In high-school one of my close friends confessed that she had a huge crush on me. I basically had to tell her it was never going to happen, because I was gay, and I came out to her.
her first response after I just came out to her:
"You have no idea how horrible it feels to fall for someone and then know they'll never ever want you the same way"
It took everything in me not to side eye her and go "REALLY I don't know how that feels? Please... do you know how many straight highscool classmates I've hopelessly crushed on? Knowing that feeling seems to be the story of my life right now."
But yes. Falling for straight guys, is THE WORST.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
There's a guy I can't stop being overly nice to and it's just like ???
I'm usually nice to everybody but I just want to sit down and hear this guy's life story lol
He's cool and I've caught him stating at me a few times and we talk and all but like even if he was Gay he could do muuuchhh better than me so whatever
I'm usually nice to everybody but I just want to sit down and hear this guy's life story lol
He's cool and I've caught him stating at me a few times and we talk and all but like even if he was Gay he could do muuuchhh better than me so whatever
Ask?
If you're afraid to ask, assume he's straight and move on. Alternatively, obsess over him, which is a bit creepy and it'd make him ultra uncomfortable if he ever finds out
I don't ask because I feel a person's sexuality should be disclosed when they feel like it, not when I need to know the information. That and taking awhile lets me get a better feel of who they are before taking the plunge. Even if it turns out they aren't compatible it can earn me a new friend, which is arguably just as good for someone who doesn't make a lot of them.
You know, gay face.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=something-queer-about-that-face
This is someone who I would say has fairly prototypical "gay face":
It's awful. I hate it. Just don't be hot and straight. You can be straight. But not hot. Because then I'll get sad.
I think that's perfectly fine, really. I also respect people's decision to be open or not about their sexuality. But it is a fact that friends don't obsess romantically over friends
I... don't ? o__0
You know, gay face.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=something-queer-about-that-face
This is someone who I would say has fairly prototypical "gay face":
I still don't see it.:/ To be fair I have trouble with faces in general.
There is exactly one straight friend I have had a persistent crush on. Even though he's great to be around and is extremely attractive I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him. We have very different lifestyles and views of the world and I could see things turning sour because I am a poop.
If he ever wanted to experiment I'd give him the time of day though.>__> Of course I'd probably be waaaaaaay down his list of "Guys I might do it with."
It's the "I want to have sex with him" kind of crush. Not a romantic one.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Darlin', I don't mean to condescend, but you might want to stop and ponder this situation for a minute.
@Caladrious: Ah, that's much better!
It's still possible to be great friends with somebody and be sexually aroused by them. It's not like I have a deep longing for a fuck-buddy.
Poltergust
Member
Wait, wasn't it just a month ago that you and another guy were really connecting with each other? What happened to that? Or is this the same guy?
Time for crazy old shit that has happened to daripad since last year. We call the story "Straight Crush"
Once daripad got in the University he was at a point where he didn't care about him at all. He used to be an spectator of other people lives. He was a complete loser, he was obese with 0 social skills and he was a very angry person. A bad guy in general.
Then he was at the teather due to the beginning of the semester speach and all that jazz and founds the most gorgeous guy he had seen at that point. He was very thin, but he looked nerdy and seem to be a nice and ellegant guy in all senses. daripad was droolling.
Once it ended, daripad got to his classroom, only to find that the hot guy was in the classroom. Yesss! But well, daripad took a sit far away from him because he wouldn't wait to see where the other guy was going to sit. daripad was very anxious, he never stopped looking at this guy the whole day.
Days came and went and everyone seemed to take sides in that classroom, daripad wasn't having any interaction with the cute guy and he was desperate to do so. He decided to sit behind him, so he could see that guy the whole day without anyone noticing that he is gay. Since that day daripad sitted in the same place for the rest of the semester.
Fortunately, daripad was having common interests with hot guy but he just seemed to be uninterested in talking. daripad noticed that cute guy was not talkative and he was okay with that. But then daripad saw that cute guy had other (more important!) friends. daripad then felt so lonely and heartbroken by that time that he didn't want anything with the world.
One day, daripad started interacting with other guys that sitted next to him and was creating some bonds with them. daripad discovered that they were a huge group of friends, and everyone was of daripad's liking. They started inviting daripad to study and doing homework, then to become one of them and going out for luch or the cinema. daripad was glad he dinally had some friends.
The semester ended and daripad failed one subject like the loser he was. The other ones didn't but showed support to daripad and encouraged him too continue and go on, etc. Failing meant that his schedule would be a bad one and very different from his friends.
Next year (and semester) daripad made a change of mind and decided to be different. He started doing excercise and eating well, he studied harder and became a different person in general. He observed that the previusly hot guy was not cute at all because he wasn't polite and was always silent, never showing smiles. daripad saw that his friends had different qualities, though he saw them less time than last semester for obvious reasons. He even lost contact with some of them.
daripad felt like he had to do something about his sexuality and being more open about him. He chose the friend that he trusted the most. He was alone with her and he dropped the bomb. His friend was dissapointed and started saying that it was a lie, that he wasn't one of those people and that gay people are very effeminate, etc, etc. daripad convinced her that it was real, but then she said that he should change that because homosexuals are unnatural and go to hell. daripad had to go back to the closet and said it was a lie, that he was just proving her friendship. Coming out went wrong and daripad hid his feelings.
Now daripad was having feelings for one of his friends. One that was very cute, polite and not bad in appereance. daripad tried to be close to him but it didn't work because of the schedules. daripad then discovered that he had a girlfriend in another city.
There was a school event and daripad reunited wit his friends. He had a blast there, it was so good that it became one of his best moments in life. But something had to go wrong. His friend said that he sees homosexual couples in a certain park and that it kind of feels wrong to him. daripad was broken to pieces with that comment and let his feelings about his friend go.
daripad felt alone again. Such a lonely guy that couldn't trust any of his friends. Not again. daripad hung out with them but not with the same enthusiasm as before.
The next semester started and daripad had a different schedule than his friends again. His special friend and another friend got the same one, another one was very different compared to them and the rest were having a more sparce one coinciding with some of them. daripad used to spend some time with the friend that didn't accept his true sexuality. Then another girl friend of him saw that there was some chemistry between daripad and that girl and tried to crete a relationship. She obviously failed at it since daripad's gay but he just rejected the other girl, but daripad learned that his friend was having feelings for him. daripad started being distant with those two girls and bacame more lonely...or that's what he thought.
Every friday he would have his special friend call him to go and eat something. daripad was excited about it and started fhaving feelings for him again.
Then two days ago daripad felt more into him than before, because of those things that his friend does to him, like rubbing his arm, putting his face close to his when talking at him as if he was trying to kiss him or something. He even said "Te quiero" once. daripad is so in love with him that he is doing his best effort to get a better schedule so he has every class with this specia friend. Meanwhile the hot guy in the beggining is forgotten.
I don't know what I told you about this, but I felt that I had to get that out of my chest. Thanks for not complaining. If you have any question feel free to ask, daripad wants to say everything. Everything he can.
Once daripad got in the University he was at a point where he didn't care about him at all. He used to be an spectator of other people lives. He was a complete loser, he was obese with 0 social skills and he was a very angry person. A bad guy in general.
Then he was at the teather due to the beginning of the semester speach and all that jazz and founds the most gorgeous guy he had seen at that point. He was very thin, but he looked nerdy and seem to be a nice and ellegant guy in all senses. daripad was droolling.
Once it ended, daripad got to his classroom, only to find that the hot guy was in the classroom. Yesss! But well, daripad took a sit far away from him because he wouldn't wait to see where the other guy was going to sit. daripad was very anxious, he never stopped looking at this guy the whole day.
Days came and went and everyone seemed to take sides in that classroom, daripad wasn't having any interaction with the cute guy and he was desperate to do so. He decided to sit behind him, so he could see that guy the whole day without anyone noticing that he is gay. Since that day daripad sitted in the same place for the rest of the semester.
Fortunately, daripad was having common interests with hot guy but he just seemed to be uninterested in talking. daripad noticed that cute guy was not talkative and he was okay with that. But then daripad saw that cute guy had other (more important!) friends. daripad then felt so lonely and heartbroken by that time that he didn't want anything with the world.
One day, daripad started interacting with other guys that sitted next to him and was creating some bonds with them. daripad discovered that they were a huge group of friends, and everyone was of daripad's liking. They started inviting daripad to study and doing homework, then to become one of them and going out for luch or the cinema. daripad was glad he dinally had some friends.
The semester ended and daripad failed one subject like the loser he was. The other ones didn't but showed support to daripad and encouraged him too continue and go on, etc. Failing meant that his schedule would be a bad one and very different from his friends.
Next year (and semester) daripad made a change of mind and decided to be different. He started doing excercise and eating well, he studied harder and became a different person in general. He observed that the previusly hot guy was not cute at all because he wasn't polite and was always silent, never showing smiles. daripad saw that his friends had different qualities, though he saw them less time than last semester for obvious reasons. He even lost contact with some of them.
daripad felt like he had to do something about his sexuality and being more open about him. He chose the friend that he trusted the most. He was alone with her and he dropped the bomb. His friend was dissapointed and started saying that it was a lie, that he wasn't one of those people and that gay people are very effeminate, etc, etc. daripad convinced her that it was real, but then she said that he should change that because homosexuals are unnatural and go to hell. daripad had to go back to the closet and said it was a lie, that he was just proving her friendship. Coming out went wrong and daripad hid his feelings.
Now daripad was having feelings for one of his friends. One that was very cute, polite and not bad in appereance. daripad tried to be close to him but it didn't work because of the schedules. daripad then discovered that he had a girlfriend in another city.
There was a school event and daripad reunited wit his friends. He had a blast there, it was so good that it became one of his best moments in life. But something had to go wrong. His friend said that he sees homosexual couples in a certain park and that it kind of feels wrong to him. daripad was broken to pieces with that comment and let his feelings about his friend go.
daripad felt alone again. Such a lonely guy that couldn't trust any of his friends. Not again. daripad hung out with them but not with the same enthusiasm as before.
The next semester started and daripad had a different schedule than his friends again. His special friend and another friend got the same one, another one was very different compared to them and the rest were having a more sparce one coinciding with some of them. daripad used to spend some time with the friend that didn't accept his true sexuality. Then another girl friend of him saw that there was some chemistry between daripad and that girl and tried to crete a relationship. She obviously failed at it since daripad's gay but he just rejected the other girl, but daripad learned that his friend was having feelings for him. daripad started being distant with those two girls and bacame more lonely...or that's what he thought.
Every friday he would have his special friend call him to go and eat something. daripad was excited about it and started fhaving feelings for him again.
Then two days ago daripad felt more into him than before, because of those things that his friend does to him, like rubbing his arm, putting his face close to his when talking at him as if he was trying to kiss him or something. He even said "Te quiero" once. daripad is so in love with him that he is doing his best effort to get a better schedule so he has every class with this specia friend. Meanwhile the hot guy in the beggining is forgotten.
I don't know what I told you about this, but I felt that I had to get that out of my chest. Thanks for not complaining. If you have any question feel free to ask, daripad wants to say everything. Everything he can.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Wow daripad :c I really hope things get better for you dude, I can't imagine what it would be like if the people who are my closest friends, which I came out to, made homophobic remarks and things like that :"(
Mystic Theurge
Member
I will be ForeverAlone.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Oh, c'mon now. I was an OG Forever Alone dude, and have since nullified the theory.
MYSTIC, YOU CAN DO IT.
DEL, YOU CAN DO IT.
EVERYBODY, YOU CAN DO IT.
MYSTIC, YOU CAN DO IT.
DEL, YOU CAN DO IT.
EVERYBODY, YOU CAN DO IT.
Bel Marduk
Banned
He had a lisp and everything.
Did he fling his wrist so hard that he dislocated it?
The guy cant handle being in a relationship with anyone. I think he's a bit to much of a introvert...which I was willing to deal with. I really liked him :/ Maybe in the future he will change his mind
Poltergust
Member
But you went all the way to Houston for him, right?
That's... kind of a jerk move to lead you on like that.
Cheer up, guys, you're making this page feel so gloomy.
And because of "unrequited love" no less. What are you, terrible Ryan Gosling chick flick female protagonists? Not Delio, he's actually always positive and that's why he actually was able to meet a guy (it didn't work out this time, but that's normal). Pity-parties don't attract hot guys, and most definitely don't turn straight people gay. Again, cheer up! Play some Pokémon, watch a movie, eat a brownie, hug your pets if applicable, etc.
And because of "unrequited love" no less. What are you, terrible Ryan Gosling chick flick female protagonists? Not Delio, he's actually always positive and that's why he actually was able to meet a guy (it didn't work out this time, but that's normal). Pity-parties don't attract hot guys, and most definitely don't turn straight people gay. Again, cheer up!
Play some Pokémon, watch a movie, eat a brownie, hug your pets if applicable, etc.So... Guys With Fries is a thing... and it's hilarious!
You guys should check it out.
Sometimes, things are not meant to be. And that's OK.
I am usually a positive/cheerful person, but I also try to be as grounded/realistic as possible, at least when it comes to me and my life.
It has been a while since I made peace with the fact that I probably won't get a partner, and I must confess, life has been less stressful or depressing since then. If it happens, great... if it doesn't, that's OK. I don't lose sleep over it anymore.
You guys should check it out.
Sometimes, things are not meant to be. And that's OK.
I am usually a positive/cheerful person, but I also try to be as grounded/realistic as possible, at least when it comes to me and my life.
It has been a while since I made peace with the fact that I probably won't get a partner, and I must confess, life has been less stressful or depressing since then. If it happens, great... if it doesn't, that's OK. I don't lose sleep over it anymore.
I wonder how many introvert people use their introversion as an easy excuse for not wanting to engage in relationship or being passive and thus forcing other people to do all the hard work in the relationship. I know I do. I think I'm being afraid of relationships (consequences, responsibilities, being there for another person) and I noticed that simply saying "hey, I'm a loner, this is who I am so you can't really blame me for that - just accept it and leave me alone" is (in my mind) a great justification of rejecting other people (this isn't limited to just a potential boyfriends, but even friends, coworkers, family etc.).
I did go down there for him. But I knew going into this he had those issues.
I do wonder if he is thinking like that. As a "I'll always be alone so why try" I wish he didnt think like that. Other than that he was a guy I could see myself being with a long time. But the emotional problems just prevent that.
About introvertness: I have been always introvert to some extenct, and I wouldn't be surprised if Delio's friend was thinking about "I'll always be alone". Atleast I have had those feeligs many, many times .
About straight crushes: They are seemingly the only kind of crushes I can get x). I always get a crush on gys who are undoubtly straight. I never get my hopes up about anyone I meet because of that x). My gaydar is broken.
.About straight crushes: They are seemingly the only kind of crushes I can get x). I always get a crush on gys who are undoubtly straight. I never get my hopes up about anyone I meet because of that x). My gaydar is broken.
About introvertness: I have been always introvert to some extenct, and I wouldn't be surprised if Delio's friend was thinking about "I'll always be alone". Atleast I have had those feeligs many, many times
About straight crushes: They are seemingly the only kind of crushes I can get x). I always get a crush on gys who are undoubtly straight. I never get my hopes up about anyone I meet because of that x). My gaydar is broken.
I mean im pretty introverted myself but I'm willing to go all out if it's for a guy I really like. I can only hope maybe in the future he decides to come back to me. I cant stress how well he fit with me and he hit all the things i liked. Book smart, witty as hell, could cook, super cute,loved to cuddle. Just so many good things. :/ Blah
Well, let's hope everything works out well between you two
I'm not giving up hope. I'm hoping maybe one day he comes back to me. Let's face it no one is beating down my door to date me right now haha.
Let me hug you for few minutes *hugs*
Lowlander2
Banned
But we just did it last week!
And now he wants to go again, even though it's completely impractical!
So I assume you're still with him, only not in a proper relationship (yet)?
Trying to join LGBT-gaf Skype :>. Is it still active at all
It is. It's not as active as it once was but it's still a good place to talk to some gay/bi members of gaf.
Add me on skype ricky.bailey6 and I'll add you to the chat.
If anyone else wants to join just add me. We don't do voice or video calls only text chat.
Apparently reinforcing a stereotype might confer me one benefit: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/singing-show-tunes-helps-fight-dementia-study-article-1.1513903
We arent anything right now. Just friends.
umop_3pisdn
Member
Well, I stand by what I said. If you have true brother-like friends, wanting to screw them is not a-okay in my opinion. And no, you can't have a straight fuck-buddy, believe me
What that sounds hot.
I guess if you're good friends with them partly because you're not interested in them (most of my friends are like this,) because people like that are really effortless to be friends with because who cares about their sex lives/you don't have to worry about anything ever happening. Then it will always seem weird for obvious reasons.
But even lovers are still decidedly on the 'friendship' axis for me. Everyone is. I don't really see the categorical difference unless that's a barrier you just don't want to cross where that individual is concerned.
Thanks a bunch for help!
CornBurrito
Member
Story of my life.
One dude in high school, one dude in college, one GAFer. All straight. :/
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