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LGBTQIA Thread |OT5| Can't even drink straight
- Thread starter Blood Diamonds
- Start date
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Via Purifico
Banned
I found the video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntTv5dvU5gY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntTv5dvU5gY
ab.aeterno
Member
Goal will be to get stupidly drunk tonight to take my mind off shit. Hoping hanging out with some friends and doing dumb shit will help. Fingers crossed.
Ultimately, you decide what you feel you're comfortable with, but I don't think you should feel you don't belong.
Man, fuck that. Don't overthink it so much. If you don't feel like you belong anywhere else, then you can belong here. Everyone's more complicated than a linear sliding scale of gay to straight, or a binary state of sexual/asexual. Just because you're not completely, totally asexual doesn't mean you don't belong here. Even though there are plenty of gay people in this little community doesn't mean you'd be alone if you want to talk about stuff related to asexuality, or issues you're facing. If nothing else, you'd have plenty of people, I'm sure, here to give support since, hey, we're all facing struggles a majority of people may never face.
Ultimately, you decide what you feel you're comfortable with, but I don't think you should feel you don't belong.
Nope.
But I found the perfect Thirst gif.
I'd like to make a drinking competition with you but I already drank all the liqueur I'd need for some cocktails.
Only french red for me tonight.
terrisus
Member
Aww, that's nice of you to say =)
I don't know, I just tend to over-think everything...
And also get discouraged and/or depressed really easily >.>
I'd like to make a drinking competition with you but I already drank all the liqueur I'd need for some cocktails.
Only french red for me tonight.
I had wine the other nighte. Cheap Costco wine, but it wasn't as bad as the more expensive wine I've had, lol. Well I'm a hobo, so what do I know about fancy.
Welcome! But uh, wrong thread?
You don't look like a homeless dude though, not at all. And cheap wine is fine too. The red I'm drinking at the moment was only 5 EurosI had wine the other nighte. Cheap Costco wine, but it wasn't as bad as the more expensive wine I've had, lol. Well I'm a hobo, so what do I know about fancy.
(though it was reduced in price from 15 Euros to 5 Euros so dunno if that counts as cheap then >.>)
Yeah, I don't want to see terri leave. He's a cool guy.
umop_3pisdn
Member
I think queer culture, or particularly gay male culture doesn't seem the most welcoming to asexual and demisexual people, because the social struggle has been oriented around something that could be superficially called sex positivity and I think that still forms quite a bit of 'gay culture', and that can create a bit of an echo chamber effect that alienates people. True sex-positivity goes both ways, and by removing sex from repressive social attitudes, the natural consequence should be that sex isn't a big deal, and unless we're being decidedly self-destructive (really repressed, or reckless) society probably has no place telling us how to be. Honestly I could see how gay culture may be particularly unsympathetic to asexual people, though. I could see a lot of idiots not really wanting to dignify it as a valid orientation. Granted that's an extreme example, but I could maybe see how a thread like this could have a sort of similar but much milder atmosphere.
Oh no. I saw that some people were talking about it in here earlier (that or I completely mixed up two threads). Should have made that a bit clear.
And I'm not new here
, although I do rarely post in the thread.You normally have the shark guy as your avi, right?And I'm not new here
I remember you even without it, your username is pretty unique.
Henchmen21
Banned
Morning all
Oh no. I saw that some people were talking about it in here earlier (that or I completely mixed up two threads). Should have made that a bit clear.
And I'm not new here
Oh okay. Yeah we were talking about RPJ in here.
Good morning henchmen. Joining RPJ?
ZombiePlatypus
Member
:O
I have no idea why, but I always thought you were a straight dude. With a wife. That you can readily cuddle and stuff.
Did you paint that stuff on the wall there? I always wished I was more artistically inclined, but I'm only good at like...math. ¯\_(ツ
Oh no, haha. I'll throw my painting on here when it's done.
If it ends up not being a mess.
Lol this killed me when I read it last night, and it's killing me now. Sometimes the simplest reaction posts are the greatest.
:O
I have no idea why, but I always thought you were a straight dude. With a wife. That you can readily cuddle and stuff.
Oh no, haha. I'll throw my painting on here when it's done.If it ends up not being a mess.
He is.
terrisus
Member
Correct on these parts.
Alas, not so much on this.
She has a high sex drive, and doesn't really care as much for cuddling.
I have a very low sex drive, but love cuddling.
And even when she is willing to cuddle with me, it usually ends up turning into her complaining about the fact that I haven't had sex with her =(
Henchmen21
Banned
Nope
ZombiePlatypus
Member
OK good, now I don't feel like a presumptuous butt.
Man, generalizations on my part I know, but typically the disparity's totally the other way around. Just cuddle her when she's knocked out. (Assuming the room's cool enough for it to still be comfortable.)
Also welcome to queer corner
.I have a ridiculously high sex drive, but fortunately a good cuddle gets it done for me sometimes so I can live with either or. Now to just find a full time guy for that lol
terrisus
Member
SpaceBridge
Member
So he's headed off to the airport already. I opted not to go cuz I had errands to do I've put off all week cuz my life has been consumed by him.
I met him at his hotel, we did stuff, took pics of each other, had lunch, then he got into a cab, and off he went. My eyes teared up, but I feel happy.
I need a hug.
I met him at his hotel, we did stuff, took pics of each other, had lunch, then he got into a cab, and off he went. My eyes teared up, but I feel happy.
I need a hug.
terrisus
Member
ZombiePlatypus
Member
This sounds like the makings of a short movie or comic regarding a special encounter.
Do you have his number? Is he too far for a road-trip? Or was it supposed to be a one time thing?
EDIT: Actually it sounds like the movie Weekend.
I have a question for gay guys that hopefully isn't too personal: would you jump at any chance to get in bed with your boyfriend / husband? I ask because after three years with a bf, I only ever asked a few times, and I get out of it like half the time he asks. I'm kinda having doubts about whether I'm "gay enough" for him.
SpaceBridge
Member
Not a mistake. The airport is an hour away and costs $70 just to cab back.
Not a one time thing. I have his number. He texted me just now saying he misses me already.
ZombiePlatypus
Member
How long have you guys been together? It doesn't necessarily mean you're "not gay enough" or just not into him, or anything like that. Passion fizzles out after that honeymoon phase. You guys can always try new stuff to keep things fun and exciting.
God I'm starting to sound like Dr. Ruth.
Maybe you just have a lower sex drive than him(?). I know I had a lot of times were I just didn't want to get too intimate with my ex-es, times when I was not feeling in the mood.
You could opt to cuddling, that'd be a good alternative and less demanding.
I don't mean to pry, but have you ever looked into the separation of romanticism and sexuality? For example, some dudes might consider themselves heteroromantic, falling in love and caring only for women, but be bisexual in that they can fuck both women and men. I'm definitely not trying to force you into a box, but it could be interesting reading for you if you weren't aware of it already!
And also I apologize for calling you out directly. That's a bit out of line considering that we don't talk much. Really sorry about that, honestly. Also you are welcome here, regardless of how you identify. I just have some issues with how the overall community (not this one) represents certain facets of itself.
This sounds more like a sex drive thing than a sexuality thing.
terrisus
Member
Disclaimer: I'm not gay
That said - everyone has different sex drives. Just because you don't want to have sex/have sex at that particular time/request sex/etc. doesn't mean you're not interested in the person (or, in this case, "not gay enough")
Everyone's welcome here. We're not different, that's the idea
I have this ex of mine with whom I have good times and I consider a good friend, he's always been supportive in my worst lonely times (as a friend) and I appreciate him lost, I know we could get back together and be cool but I DON'T want to. He does. He says he loves me but it doesn't matter if I don't, he's my friend. Yet I feel bad. Don't know how to manage the situation and not be rude.
terrisus
Member
The counselor that we've been seeing has suggested a similar thing - for us to specifically separate snuggling and sex, so that I can snuggle without the "fear" of being pressured about sex as a result.
The issue is that it kind of relies on me being able to deliver on sex occasionally as well >.>
No worries, I understand.
I was thinking similar sorts of things before that anyway - that I'm just not really sure where and how I fit into anything >.>
I'm genuinely curious about this. Could you elaborate more?
Everyone's welcome here. We're not different, that's the idea
I have this ex of mine with whom I have good times and I consider a good friend, he's always been supportive in my worst lonely times (as a friend) and I appreciate him lost, I know we could get back together and be cool but I DON'T want to. He does. He says he loves me but it doesn't matter if I don't, he's my friend. Yet I feel bad. Don't know how to manage the situation and not be rude.
Just say no.
DOWN
Banned
It comes down, in my eyes, to what umop perfectly worded (as usual) earlier in the page:
It is definitely a gay male culture thing. Sex positivity can definitely get blown out of proportion in one direction, where I think people read that as "have as much sex as possible" when that's not really what it means at all.
It might sound like that, but I don't actually think that's the problem; I don't always want to do stuff with him, but doing stuff alone is never a problem.
I do and his reaction is heartbreaking. Like that little girl gif lol.
Terri how would you feel if your marriage becomes "open"? Sorry to say this but if your wife's needs aren't met it's probably doomed to fail and you rely on her lots pal.
Not Sai-kun but I agree with his point of view. I feel like the acronym situation is akin to a group of black people trying to accommodate by saying "we include white people that aren't racist!" The point of the acronym is to refer to a group under umbrella terminology that references gender and sexuality. This is important because these struggles are usually shared by the people under this umbrella. By including ally, no matter how well intentioned, it does not make them fall under this category.
When we say POC (people of color), we do this to specifically refer to a group. It is not suppose to be inclusive to people outside of that group. It's very insulting to say POC and non racist white people as if they share a category just because some white people are nice.
I'm not saying we don't need allies. We do. But ally is neither a gender or sexual orientation that should be included in a discussion of gender or sexual orientation.
To me, it just doesn't make sense to include ally at the expense of another (often forgotten) sexual orientation. And even if asexuality wasn't a thing, it still doesn't make sense to include allies under umbrella terminology.
ab.aeterno
Member
Aw, damn. One of these days though, I would be totally down for that, ha. I keep a decent little stock of stuff on hand now, so just let me know!I'd like to make a drinking competition with you but I already drank all the liqueur I'd need for some cocktails.
Only french red for me tonight.
Yo, with the last sentence, don't worry. You're not alone.
Yeah, that makes sense. Still, I'm sure a balance can be achieved in this thread.
TheAbsolution
Member
I agree. Including allies in the acronym is only a good thing IMO.
I second this.
terrisus
Member
She's half-seriously suggested it a couple of times.
I don't think it would work well for us though.
I mean, what - am I going to have someone over to snuggle with me? >.>
LGBTQIAA? >.>
But, yeah, sounds like it's a two-part thing:
Having allies
Having the 'A' stand for 'Allies' at the expense of 'Asexuals"
It's discussion, not a vote.
Over asexual people?
having two A's is definitely how I see it sometimes, and I think that works better over having allies replacing ace people
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