My coworker thinks I'm stalking her because I found her home address on a website

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Dream big, op.

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outunderthestars said:
No, no you apparently don't know how to act socially. The issue isn't that you mentioned your actions to her, but in your actions themselves. Looking up someone's personal info just because she asked you if you were dating someone is not what most people would do.

Can you at least understand how creepy you are coming off, and how unpleasant that must be for the girl you work with?
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????

They're unrelated.

The next day I found the site and after looking up people I knew I wondered what I could find out about strangers; Said coworker with a strange last name came to mind so I looked her up. Her birth month stuck with me, the rest was out of my brain quicker than the 7 seconds it took to type her name.

Please read.
 
I saw this episode of Law and Order: SVU it does not end well for you OP ... or the girl ... or her family ... it's really just a depressing situation for everyone involved, I don't know why I watch that show.
 
Searching for yourself? No harm done,we've all done it. Searching family and close friends? A little out there but again no harm done. Searching up a chick you just met, and basically fucking TELLING her you took the time and effort to look her up. I have no words
 
I actually had someone I know randomly tell me that they looked up my home address on a website before. Told them that was creepy as fuck and moved on.

Like, OP, imagine if someone you don't have a close relationship with suddenly told you "I know where you live. Your address is x."? It doesn't matter what the person says after that point, you're just creeped the fuck out.
 
I know it wasn't entirely intentional, but that certainly does come off as stalking. Why you said that, I'll never know.

OT: I can't recall any stories that fit that criteria.
 
jadedm17 said:
...

She was on my mind and has an obscure last name, I was testing the system that even had my apartment number on it.

I don't think about her any more than the several seconds I interact with her at a time each day. The date I gave my number and left at that. No call or texts, friendly at work, that simple.

It's a restaurant so I'm sure I'm fine.

I shared it because I get hyper when I'm bored, it was between lunch and dinner, we were talking and I say dumb things.
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It'll be even easier to let you go then. If she complains you're toast. I mean, can you really not see this through her point of view?

Kyuur said:
I hope no one in the thread is actually seriously accusing the OP of stalking. It's a weird thing where everyone does it but getting caught doing it is a major taboo.
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It's one thing to look someone up on Facebook (still stalking tho) it's an entirely different thing when you look someone up on a database where their birthday and home address are displayed. I mean, damn.


ScatheZombie said:
My wife was stalked in college.

They didn't end up dating either.
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lol
 
jadedm17 said:
????

They're unrelated.

The next day I found the site and after looking up people I knew I wondered what I could find out about strangers; Said coworker with a strange last name came to mind so I looked her up.

Please read.
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I can read. I just think you are lying about how you came to be searching for this girl on a sketchy creeper site.

And again, you really don't seem to understand the core issue of why your actions are so damn creepy, which is honestly quite sad.
 
vatstep said:
OP, you've been around a while, you should know how this place works. What were you expecting to come of this thread? lol
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The pitchforks are fine - why post this if I wasn't looking to give a good laugh at my expense? - but I was hoping to here more people share their strange stories. Turns out I'm the only weirdo. Bummer.

outunderthestars said:
I can read. I just think you are lying about how you came to be searching for this girl on a sketchy creeper site.

And again, you really don't seem to understand the core issue of why your actions are so damn creepy, which is honestly quite sad.
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I think you're even more cynical of people than I am if you can't just accept my word as truth and want to twist your own version.
My intentions are as stated.
 
jadedm17 said:
????

They're unrelated.

The next day I found the site and after looking up people I knew I wondered what I could find out about strangers; Said coworker with a strange last name came to mind so I looked her up. Her birth month stuck with me, the rest was out of my brain quicker than the 7 seconds it took to type her name.

Please read.
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So you knew what information you would potentially find if you looked her up and did so anyway, after finding similar information for people you do know?

Stalker is a dangerous word to throw around but it's definitely creepy
 
Steel said:
Like, OP, imagine if someone you don't have a close relationship with suddenly told you "I know where you live. Your address is x."? It doesn't matter what the person says after that point, you're just creeped the fuck out.
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Telephone books creep people out?
 
Just general life advice, don't attempt to find out personal information about someone you don't know "as a test" for anything. It rarely works out well.
 
Telling her about it was the mistake. I've had a girl tell me she looked me up before, they even have a website specializing in women looking up men to make sure they aren't criminals and what have you. I didn't think anything of it personally but yeah, the other way around can definitely come across as creepy, double standards be damned.

It is insanely easy to get personal information about people with even just a number.
 
Haines said:
You realize you looked up her address right?

You understand that? Lol
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That website OP used went far beyond that. Looking up the address alone is stalking; they'd have info like political affiliation if they used that site.
 
Solaire of Astora said:
You fucked up, OP.

And I have to say, regardless of your intentions, there's no way you're not going to come off as a creep after all this.

About 12 years ago, I left my small hometown in the countryside and moved to Glasgow. I started a job at a fairly big company, and after a few days, this creep who sat across from me suddenly started telling people stories about me in high school. Nothing too bad. Just things like how I broke my arm, how I was a big WWF fan in high school or the time some girl yelled at me and threw a food tray at me in the cafeteria (complete misunderstanding, btw... We're actually friends to this day)...

The thing about this guy, is that he was several years older than me and grew up in a different part of Scotland, and yet somehow, after a few days of working with me, he's already managed to find out all this information about me. And he's sitting across from me with a smug look on his face telling everyone about me. I don't know what his fucking problem with me was, but he eventually shut up when I pointed out how we had never interacted before, and the fact that within a few days of meeting me, he had obviously talked about me to his friends outside of work, leading someone to say "Oh, I know that guy!" was pretty creepy.

He also used his knowledge to call me a liar on certain things... Like how he said I was lying about having passed my driving test or about having played gigs with a band... I wasn't actually lying about those, it just turned out that his information was all out of date. He seemed like he was out to embarrass me, but he only really embarrassed himself. That guy was creepy. I hadn't thought about that in several years, but reading the OP reminded me of that.
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Why would he even do all that though? Out of nowhere?


Edit: title change? So many questions.
 
You almost always research people before online dating in this day and age, but you never talk about what you find.

Why would you bring that up out of the blue?
 
jadedm17 said:
The next day I found a website that taught me finding information about people doesn't take even the hours or creditcard info I thought it did :

https://floridaresidentdb.com/

I don't even think about this girl.
Clearly "Do you have a girlfriend?" was awkward small talk.

...

GAF, What stories do you have of people totally missing the mark and thinking you're something or someone you're not?
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You have to admit it's a very strange coincidence that this girl flirted with you and you just happened upon a website like that within 24 hours. But I mean, you do think of her obviously if you looked her up? I've looked up people's information before in regards to who is around my kid but nothing too thorough. Turns out my neighbor who I barely know down the road who wanted him to go camping with him for a week was in a gang, broke into someone's house and shot the occupant like 15 years ago. Nice guy so it was completely out of left field. Anyway back to the dating game...

Why would you tell her that? LOL.
 
hmm

I am not sure if the link in the OP is accurate.

I looked up my ex in Florida and it gave me a different address than what I had obtained through other sources.

I am driving there now so I can take a peek and see if this address is actually the correct one.
 
Kraftwerk said:
hmm

I am not sure if the link in the OP is accurate.

I looked up my ex in Florida and it gave the a different address than what I had obtained through other sources.

I am driving there now so I can take a peek and see if this address is actually the correct one.
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Hahaha oh my fuck... 10/10.
 
Kraftwerk said:
hmm

I am not sure if the link in the OP is accurate.

I looked up my ex in Florida and it gave me a different address than what I had obtained through other sources.

I am driving there now so I can take a peek and see if this address is actually the correct one.
Click to expand...
Hahahaha, amazing
 
OP, work on your self awareness and learn context.

Many stalkers don't realize they stalk others and/or are in denial when confronted.

Please do not be the latter.
 
I've caught coworkers stalking me in conversation. My boss actually, she said something like "so I drove by your house on Saturday" and I asked "how do you know where I live?" and then she told me she had all employee contact info. Then I said- so you stalked me? she smiled at me a didn't say anything. So I said it's okay I'd stalk myself too and gave her a wink. Haha
 
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